Wonder Where They Found the $600?

Police find cocaine and marijuana in woman's bra


Mar 2, 4:12 PM (ET)


WINONA, Minn. (AP) - A 20-year-old woman faces drug charges after police found cocaine and marijuana hidden in her bra. Buffalo County police notified authorities in Winona Thursday that a car headed their way may have been involved in a drug deal.

A Winona officer pulled over the vehicle and searched the woman. Deputy Chief Tom Williams said that turned up about 100 grams of marijuana and 4.25 grams of cocaine in her bra. He says she was also carrying about $600 in cash.

Woman = Monkey? You Be The Judge

Malaysian man claims he mistook woman for a monkey, and shot her.

Mar 13 2009 07:56PM EST


Police said a man in Malaysia shot a woman as she picked sapodilla fruit in his tree thinking she was a monkey. Police chief in eastern Pahang state Yahaya Othman said the woman was gathering fruit Thursday when the man shot her. Yahaya said the man came home and saw rustling in the tree and fired into it. "Then there was screaming ... and only then did he know it was a woman and not a monkey."

He said the woman was hospitalized with a wound to the abdomen but her condition was stable Friday.

He said police were investigating the man, a volunteer security corps member, for illegally discharging a firearm, which carries a maximum prison term of two years.

Interviewed in the hospital, the shot woman said the man who shot her should be shot.

What Do You Do With a "Hot" Bulldozer?

Stolen bulldozer buried at Texas golf course for 10 years. Looks like new. Must see to appreciate.


Mar 12 2009 09:21PM EST

A golf course in Texas had a heavy duty hazard: A bulldozer reported stolen a decade ago was found buried under a fairway.

The Dallas Morning News reports Thursday that investigators located the bulldozer at Canyon West Golf Course in Weatherford.

Detective Tyler Farrell with the Tarrant Regional Auto Crimes Task Force says a former golf course worker contacted authorities after noticing part of the bulldozer while fertilizing the course.

Farrell says a tractor also used to build the golf course was reported stolen after work began in 1996 and has not been recovered. It was speculated that the thieves, probably workers building the golf course, buried the dozer, intending to return for it later but forgot about it.

A suggestion that the entire golf course be dug up with the recovered bulldozer was rejected as cost inefficient. "You can't dig up a $40 million golf course to try to locate a $10,000 tractor," said the CEO of the Golf Club. His 7 year-old daughter, who was present at the interview, asked, "Why not? It would be fun."

Weatherford is 30 miles west of Fort Worth, which has no bearing on anything mentioned in this story. The editor said we needed to fill out the block.

Man Arrested in Texas and Charged With Child Endangerment

(The motorsiclist and the toddler)




Texas, March 20, 2009

A unknown Texas man was arrested for riding a motorsickle at high speeds through the Texas hill country with an unrestrained toddler hanging on desperately from his waist. Texas State Troopers were unable to apprehend the "Mad Motorsiclist," as he has been dubbed by the news media, despite shooting out his rear tire and blockading several roads. "It's like they disappeared into thin air," said one deputy, speaking on condition of misogyny because he was not authorized to speak to anyone, including his family, by a Travis County Domestic Court.

A spokeswoman for the Texas Department of Public Mayhem, speaking only because forced to by her boss, said an order had been issued to use deadly force on the sickle jockey and anyone in his company, including the toddler, who also was an accessory to the murder of several hundred Texas bluebonnets, an endangered species. It was speculated the man would make a run for On the Border, one of his favorite restaurants, because he was displaying a small flag advertising the eatery on his motorsickle, which could also have been a Mexican flag, so maybe that's wrong.

"We'll git 'em," said a crusty old Texas Ranger from the corner of his mouth, who was not authorized to speak because his mouth is currently wired shut due to a broken jaw sustained in a high speed motorsickle chase.

P.S. This activity is not expected to occur until March 20, 2009. If there are any changes we will notify all interested parties via this or a supplementary post.

Man Claims He Is His Own Country: Must Undergo Mental Evaluation

DUI defendant claims he's his own country







Published - Mar 11 2009 07:30PM EST

A man accused of driving drunk said Pennsylvania courts have no jurisdiction over him because he's his own country. After seeing the paperwork that 44-year-old Scott Allan Witmer filed with the court claiming sovereignty, a Northampton County judge said Tuesday he cannot be released from jail until he gets a mental exam.

Witmer, who represented himself, said he believes police lack jurisdiction to pull him over. As he said in court: "I live inside myself, not in Pennsylvania." He said there is no victim in the crime and asked to go to trial. He then dozed off in his seat, apparently believing he had made his case and charges would be dismissed or a trial date set.

Defense attorney James Connell, Witmer's standby counsel, said a challenge to the traffic stop would need to be filed as a pretrial motion. His client did not respond when asked if he understood. The judge postponed any trial setting until after the mental evaluation.

The American Market, A Chinese Perspective

Chinese workers laid off because of falling U.S. demand for useless junk.



FENGHUA, China — Chen Hsien, an employee of Fenghua Ningbo Plastic Works Ltd., a plastics factory that manufactures lightweight household items for Western markets, expressed his disbelief Monday over the “sheer amount of garbage Americans will buy. Often, when we’re assigned a new order for, say, ‘salad shooters,’ I will say to myself, ‘There’s no way that anyone will ever buy these.’ ... One month later, we will receive an order for the same product, but three times the quantity. How can anyone have a need for such useless garbage? Why would anyone want to shoot their own salad?"

"We make so many useless things for export to the U.S. that I sometimes think the Americans take pride in owning completely useless products. And the more useless and unnecessary the product the more the Americans want it. There is a huge demand for very cheap pieces of colored plastic that have no use at all. The only thing that can be done with them is to throw them away. We tried giving them for free to Chinese people and all they did was throw them in the trash."

"I hear that Americans can buy anything they want, and I believe it, judging from the things I’ve made for them,” Chen said. “And I also hear that, when they no longer want an item, they simply throw it away. So wasteful and contemptible. If they would ship them back to us we could make many more useless items for them at even lower prices. We also could make many useful and beautiful products for Americans but our wholesalers tell us they cannot sell such products to the Americans because they would last too long and lead to unemployment in the garbage disposal industry. I have never studied economics but some of the best Chinese scholars, who studied in the U.S., assure us this is the best way for the economy."

Our discussion ended when one of Mr. Hsien's bosses dropped in to give him a copy of an order for 50,000 plastic fake pens that will not write. When Mr. Hsien told him he could make the same pens, only writable too, at no additional cost, his boss told him the order was very specific and stated that the pens must not write.

"What can you do?" lamented Chen, "You must manufacture what the customer wants, even if it is stupid, useless junk. Otherwise our workers, who come from the provinces will have to return home, like the workers shown above."

New Contact Sport For Disabled Initiated By Texas Officials

(Not actual home residents - photo of typical fight using actors)




'Fight club' probed at home for disabled
Seven employees suspended at state-run school in Texas; charges expected



Tues., March. 10, 2009

CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas - Seven employees of a state-run home for the mentally disabled in Texas have been suspended for staging fights between residents who were forced to shove, punch and strike each other, authorities said Tuesday.

Police learned of the fights when someone gave a cell phone containing videos of the brawls at the Corpus Christi State School to an off-duty officer on Friday, police Captain Tim Wilson said by phone from Corpus Christi, in the southern part of the state.

"Workers were running their own fight club using clients. It's pretty appalling that someone would think of this," he said.

One of the facility's employees, who spoke on condition of gross imbecility, said the organizers of the fights believed they were helping the residents improve their motor skills, to be able to defend themselves in case of terrorist attacks on the home. Videos of the fights were made for use in an application for federal stimulus funds, according to the imbecilic employee.

Speaking on condition of anonymity, the home's director, Jake Lamotta, Jr., said the employee who spoke to us is an imbecile. "That guy is dumb as a rock," he said.