Let's Not Hire Any More of Those Meter Maids From the Blind Center

Parking tickets pile up on van with dead driver

Jun. 5, 2009

NEW YORK - A New York City woman says her father apparently lay dead for weeks in an illegally parked van while police repeatedly left parking tickets on the vehicle.

Jennifer Morales of Manhattan told the Daily News on Thursday that she believes her father, George Morales, died of a heart attack.

Morales said she last heard from her dad in early May. She said she had contacted police, but police say they have no report on record.

A city marshal found the body of George Morales on Wednesday while trying to tow the van from the city street where it had stood for over a month. Parking tickets and dust covered the vehicle. The parking tickets were removed before photographing the van. Mr. Morales was removed from the van, too, prior to towing.

Ant Woman Has World's Smallest Waist, Appears Top-Heavy

Undated, Somewhere

Cathie Jung grew up reading about women with hour glass figures. They were so romanticized in fiction for young women that Cathie decided she wanted an hour glass figure, too. At least that's what we would like to believe. Cathie has never said what motivated her, so it's really only pure speculation on our part ...... essentially nonsense.

In reality, there probably are far more complex forces at work in Cathie's psycholgical make-up that caused her to wear extremely uncomfortable, progressively smaller corsets for years, squeezing her waist until it is only 15" in circumference, causing her to resemble a giant ant. By way of comparison, Marilyn Monroe, the ultimate pin-up, had a waist size of 22-23 inches.

No one really finds Cathie's figure attractive, very likely not even Cathie herself. She is so far out of conventional proportions as to be a freak. But once you've gone down that path as far as Cathie, there doesn't seem to be any turning back. How small can Cathie's waist actually become? Can she reach 10"? What about 5"?

We'll follow up on this story, maybe 10 years from now, if you remind us. In the interim, if you run across any men with 15" chests, send them our way. They and Cathie might like to meet, but probably not.

Oh, and this is no joke. No trick photography, no optical delusions, no barometric protusions, no transendental conclusions, just Cathie the No Waist Woman.

Unplanned Parenthood - Should There Be a Legal Limit?

Tennessee Man Confuses Popular Card Game With Sex

Faces huge child support problems

MAY 29--The Tennessee man who made headlines this week over his struggles to pay child support for the 21 kids he fathered with about a dozen women, trying to win at Blackjack, may soon find it even more difficult to pay for his brood. That's because Desmond Hatchett, 29, could be headed to prison for violating terms of a probation sentence handed down following a 2008 felony conviction. Hatchett, pictured in the mug shot above, was arrested in late-2007 in Knoxville on aggravated assault and armed robbery charges after he allegedly pistol-whipped, shot, and robbed a man, as a means to obtain money to support his family, according to Hatchett.

He pleaded guilty last year to the assault count and, after spending about six months in jail, was placed on "enhanced probation" until March 2014. It was estimated by a court clerk that Hatchett's annual child support payments are $50,000 plus. Last year his reported earnings were $11,600.

Last month, a probation revocation notice was filed against Hatchett, who was charged with twice driving with a suspended license, violating his curfew on nine occasions, and failing to pay court-ordered probation fees. Hatchett is scheduled for a July 30 hearing on the revocation matter. Hatchett, whose criminal history runs 14 pages (one for every baby's mama), was arrested last November on a domestic violence charge. While that bust triggered an earlier probation filing, both the criminal case and the revocation were subsequently dismissed after the alleged victim declined to cooperate with authorities, claiming it was a consensual beating. Hatchett's oldest child is 11 and he is the father of two newborn babies. The earliest entry on his rap sheet is for statutory rape and rape of a child, charges for which he was acquitted at trial.

It is unquestioned Hatchett has led a busy life.

Crook Follows Intended Victim to Sheriff's Dept. Where Arrested

Man or woman stupidly follows would-be victim to police

Jun 18 2009 08:13PM CDT


Illinois authorities say a Michigan man or woman was so intent on robbing a motorist that he/she stupidly followed her in his or her car straight to a sheriff's department, where s/he was arrested. Carleous Clay Jr., 26, was arrested Tuesday and remains jailed in Madison County, Ill., on charges of attempted armed robbery and possession of a stolen vehicle.

Authorities say the Edwardsville woman called 911 saying a man or woman had tried to rob her at gunpoint when s/he pulled alongside her to ask for directions. She had her three children in the car with her.

Investigators say a dispatcher guided the woman to a nearby sheriff's department while the suspect followed. They say s/he realized too late where she was headed and was arrested a short time later.

The attorney assigned to Mr. or Ms. Clay did not immediately respond to a phone message Thursday seeking a statement. What could he say? My client is a dumb-ass?

Two Lesbians Pummel Man To Death in Weed/Sex Misunderstanding

Don't You Just Hate It When You Go To a Nice, Peaceful Park to Smoke a Joint with Two Lesbians and They Beat You To Death Instead?

Bloody Wednesday, Jun. 17 2009

By Chad Garrison

That's what police say happened to Willard Bryant Payne, the 26-year-old man found dead in Forest Park on Monday.

According to the St. Louis police, Payne of University City went to the park late Sunday or early Monday to smoke marijuana with two women he'd just met, Dawn Fulks, 25, (left photo above) and Mellonie Jones, 20, (right photo) of St. Louis. When Payne made a verbal sexual advance toward Fulks, Jones (described by police as Fulk's girlfriend) became enraged and allegedly hit Payne.

The police say Payne tried to run from the women but they caught up with him and continued the beating.

Payne's body was found at 6:41 a.m. by persons driving near the park. He was pronounced dead at the scene, a victim of blunt force trauma.

Both Fulks and Jones are described as being larger than Payne. When they were arrested Tuesday, the women told police that Payne tried to rape them. Police say their investigation later found the rape claim to be false.

On Wednesday the women were charged with first-degree murder, armed-criminal action (for using an object to beat Payne) and for filing a false police report. No bond has been set at this time.

British Woman, Busted in Dubai for Screwing Around, Released

June 17, 2009
Hannah Fletcher

Sally Antia, jailed for adultery in Dubai, is released


A British mother, referred to by people who know her, as a MILF, was jailed in Dubai for adultery but has been released and reunited with the husband who turned her in.

Sally Antia, 44, is thought to have flown to Australia with her husband, Vincent, after serving six weeks of a two-month jail sentence.

A source said: “Although she is British and could have flown to the UK, she decided to fly to Brisbane instead. She and Vincent were booked on the same plane.”

Mrs Antia, from Merseyside, was arrested last month as she left a hotel with her British lover, Mark Hawkins, 43, after spending six days with him. They were prosecuted under Dubai’s strict Sharia-based legal system in which adultery is punishable by jail and deportation.

Mr Antia, 48, aka the cuckold, reported his wife’s affair to the Dubai police but then did not want to press charges. “I did ask to withdraw my complaint on May 3, but was told the Government wished to proceed with the case and it was out of my hands,” he said.

He continued to visit his wife in prison and said that the relationship was amicable. Mrs Antia said in an interview that she was trying not to be “bitter” for the sake of their children.

The couple had been living in Dubai, where Mr Antia works as a pilot, for more than 12 years. While he was off flying, she was doing some flying of her own, but only up and down. The couple have two daughters aged 11 and 13. It is not known whether the girls accompanied their parents yesterday, but Mrs Antia is now banned from returning to Dubai, and it was suggested that the trip to Australia might be a permanent move in an attempt to start afresh.

Mrs Antia described her experience of jail in Dubai as being like a labour camp. “The food, when you get it, has maggots in it. The lights are on all day and night. I am frightened and I feel totally abandoned,” she said last month. "All you want to do is get laid and you are thrown into this stinking hell hole," she complained to reporters.

The cuckold husband declined to answer any questions, saying his wife would answer for both of them.

Blowtorches Gone Wild: Used as Weapons, Exterminators, Defrosters and Burglary Tools

'Blowtorch Bandit' Bungles Heists

(Note blowtorch in circle in photograph. Bandit about to torch own genitals.)


Story not entirely by Brian Dakss
Different Dates

In Southern California, police say a man tried to rob two stores with a blowtorch. A surveillance tape shows one clerk fighting back with a bat.

(CBS/AP) A robber who used a blowtorch to threaten a drug store worker and a gas station clerk was being sought for the two failed heists, authorities said Friday.

The man went into a Rite-Aid store on Jan. 31 and demanded cash. He pulled a self-igniting propane torch out of a bag, lit it and pointed the 2-foot-flame at a worker, authorities said.

The clerk refused to give him money and yelled at the man, who fled.

About 15 minutes later, however, he pulled the torch on a gas station cashier.

The cashier pulled a bat from behind the counter and began to hit the robber, who fought back with the blowtorch and then ran outside.

The fight continued until he threw the torch, which missed the clerk and landed near gasoline pumps.

The clerk, Eric Piva, says, "If he'd have had a gun, I'd go another ways, ya know? I'd go, 'Here, take the money.' It's not worth it. But when he pulled out the blowtorch, I go, 'Hell, yeah. It's time for some fun!"

The bandit fled in a car occupied by a woman, minus his Xmas blowtorch. Before the couple could get away, the gasoline attendant managed to break 3 of the vehicles windows with his bat.

The station worker was not injured but had a really good time.

Authorities, who never saw the bandit, described him as a 5-foot-2, 220-pound man in his 50s or 60s. He wore a tan fishing hat.

"If you see this man, he is not armed and not considered dangerous, except to himself," said police. (cont.)


Blowtorches... blowtorches, everywhere.


Meanwhile, in other blowtorch related activities around the nation, and abroad, a man in Georgia set his own house on fire when he tried to use a blowtorch to clear out cobwebs under the eaves of the house. The house was a total loss.

And up north, in New Bedford, Mass., another deranged man decided to employ a blowtorch to melt the ice from his back porch. Instead, he too, succeeded in setting his own home on fire. Damage, which was estimated at $20 to $30 thousand, was not as extensive as in the Georgia house burning but it still was a messy affair, and led directly to the divorce of their neighbors.

And not to be outdone by the Americans, across the pond a British man used a blowtorch to break into several homes in Nottingham, from which he would steal the keys to a car parked in front and go joy-riding, after which he would set the stolen cars on fire, with his blowtorch.

He was sentenced to 3 years and 3 months for the mini crime wave.

The International Union of Plumbers and Welders issued a statement, saying: "Blowtorches don't cause fires, people do. Whenever innocent citizens can't own blowtorches, blowtorches will only be owned by criminals."

The man reading the statement to reporters was led away by two men in white uniforms.