Inmate Finds Novel Place To Hide Gun

Obese Texas inmate hides gun in his flabs of fat

Aug 08 2009


(AP Photo/Houston Police Department)

This image provided by the Houston Police Department shows George Vera, 25, in a booking photo. Vera is charged with possession of a firearm in a correctional facility. The 500-pound man was searched during his arrest and again at a city jail and the county jail, but officers never found the weapon, a 9mm pistol, in his rolls of skin. Vera admitted having the gun during a shower break at the county jail. When he finally told his jailer about the unloaded weapon he was charged with felony possession.

The Houston Chronicle reported Thursday that Vera was originally arrested on charges of selling illegal copies of compact discs. So it goes.

Poop to Spare - Iowa Man Donates Some of His Own to a Local Community Organization

Matthew J. Sodoma, who is not accused of sodomy despite his name, is accused of defecating on a sidewalk in Egin, Iowa. Observing the results of his labor and displeased with its effect, he picked up his own poop and smeared it on the door of a nearby community organization.

When accosted by police, Sodoma attempted to conceal any evidence of his involvement by shoving his hands into his pockets. Arresting officers ordered him to remove his hands from his pockets, to be cuffed. When Sodoma complied, he was ordered to put his hands back in his pockets until they reached the local jail.

The photos above depict Mr.Sodoma at the time he was booked into jail and 3 days later when he was released. Notice the change in appearance and demeanor after only 3 days in the Elgin jail's award winning rehabilitation program.

When asked what made Egin's prisoner rehab program so successful, Sheriff Doorstop said it was keeping things very simple: "You git rehabilitated or you git dead," he said.


Reported by Elgin Police Department

Florida Feline Downloads Child Porn - No Laws Prohibit It According to Cat's Owner - Cat Mum.

Fla. man blames cat's paws for child porn downloads

Aug 07 2009



Florida investigators say a man accused of downloading child pornography is blaming his cat. Keith Griffin of Jensen Beach is charged with 10 counts of possession of child pornography after detectives found more than 1,000 images on his home computer.

While acknowledging the presence of the prohibited photos on his computer, Griffin told investigators his male cat, Ferocious, stays home alone during the day while he is at work. He said the cat had been acting suspiciously for the past two months because he had previously scolded Ferocious for walking on the keyboard.

According to a sheriff's report Friday, Griffin told investigators that his cat jumped on the computer keyboard previously while he was downloading music. He said he had left the room and found "strange things" on his computer when he returned but did not give it much thought at the time.

Griffin said the material did not belong to him and the officers were free to take it with them. "Technically, it belongs to Ferocious and I am being wrongfully targeted by the police because I live here alone," said Griffin.

Griffin is being held on $250,000 bond in the Martin County jail. It is unclear if he has an attorney. Ferocious has not been charged with any crime because there are no laws currently prohibiting cats from possessing such photos.

Band of Idiots on the Loose in North America

Another Pranknet Child Molester

Texas online thug jailed for 2+ years for rape of five-year-oldd

AUGUST 6,09 Excerpted from The Smoking Gun

A creepy, loose knit group of psychopaths known as Pranknet have expanded their roster with the enrollment of another top tier psychopath from Texas, James Tyler Markle, who was convicted of raping a five-year-old girl after following her into the bathroom of a Texas church in Diboll, Texas.

Markle, 18, pleaded guilty to aggravated sexual assault of a child and was sentenced in 2005 to a minimum two years in custody. According to a source familiar with the case, Markle, a minor at the time, attacked the girl in September 2004 at the First Baptist Church in Diboll (Markle lives in the Texas city; the girl was visiting relatives there). When the child, who was attending Sunday services, got up to use the bathroom, Markle followed her into the room and sexually assaulted her. A source told TSG that Markle warned the girl that he would kill her parents if she did not comply with him. After the assault, he warned the girl not to tell anyone about the attack or her parents would hate her forever. According to Texas Youth Commission records, Markle was released from the Crockett State School, a youth detention facility, in December 2007 after serving about 30 months in custody.

Markle has committed an assortment of telephone pranks that have resulted in significant damage to U.S. businesses and is the subject of at least two criminal investigations. He could not be reached for comment. But in a story today in the Lufkin Daily News, Markle denied involvement in the Pranknet crimes, claiming that, "I'm a good person. I haven't done anything wrong. ... I don't go anywhere. All I do is go to church and home."

Markle has told others that as soon as his legal troubles blow over he intends to move to Los Angeles and act in films about child rape. "I'm new to Hollywood but I have a lot of experience in the genre," he told a reporter.

How to Carry $252 Worth of Grocery Items to Your Car in Only One Trip

Woman, 86, faces shoplifting charge in 61st arrest

Aug 06 2009


Authorities said an 86-year-old Chicago woman charged with shoplifting wrinkle cream and other items from a Chicago grocery store has been arrested 61 times since 1956. Ella Orko was arrested Sunday afternoon on the North Side after she allegedly stuffed $252 worth of groceries into her pants, including cosmetics, salmon, batteries and instant coffee.

She was charged with felony shoplifting.

Police said Orko has gone by as many as 20 aliases in the past.

An anonymous clerk said she became suspicious when she saw the woman stuffing a large, smoked salmon down the back of her pants. "Women should never put either salmon or tuna fish in their pants," said the anonymous clerk, whose name can be discovered by reading the police incident report which is available to the public.

Court records indicate that Orko has now been arrested 61 times and has 13 convictions for shoplifting.

She was arrested the first time in 1956 in Chicago for petty larceny and again in 1958 for grand larceny.

She's being held on $10,000 bail. It wasn't immediately clear who her lawyer is.

Holy Glacier Losing Its Sanctified Status

Swiss villagers formerly prayed for Glacier to stop advancing; now they pray it will stop shrinking - try to get the Pope to intervene

Aug 06 2009

By BRADLEY S. KLAPPER - Associated Press Writer


(AP Photo/Keystone, Laurent Gillieron)

In this Aug. 18, 2007 file photo two tourists look at the ice structure of the Aletschgletscher glacier near Bettmeralp in the canton of Valais, Switzerland. Villagers from the deeply Roman Catholic south Switzerland have for centuries been offering a sacred vow to God to protect them from the once-advancing ice mass of the Great Aletsch glacier.

Villagers from south Switzerland have for centuries offered a sacred vow to God to protect them from the advancing ice mass of the Great Aletsch glacier.

Global warming is making them want to reverse their prayers, and the Alpine faithful are seeking the permission of the pope.

Since the vow was established in 1678, the deal was simple: the citizens of the isolated mountain hamlets of Fiesch and Fieschertal would pledge to lead virtuous lives. In exchange, God would spare their homes and livelihoods from being swallowed by Europe's largest glacier as it expanded toward the valley with heavy winter snows.

Times have changed, and the once-fearsome Aletsch is melting amid temperatures that are 0.7 degrees Celsius (1.3 Fahrenheit) warmer than in the 19th century. The pastor at the Ernerwald Chapel has warned his flock that a new danger threatens.

"We all know _ and the Holy Father reminded us in his Easter message _ that an unprecedented change in the climate is taking place," Rev. Pascal Venetz said in his sermon to 100 people at the chapel, where until modern times pious women were prohibited from wearing colored underwear for fear of provoking the glacier.

"Glacier is ice, ice is water and water is life," Venetz said to the villagers from the Valais region, which has sent its sons to protect the Vatican as Swiss Guards since the 16th century. "Without the glacier the springs run dry and the brooks evaporate. Men and women face great danger. Alps and pastures vanish and towns die out."

The Aletsch was once seen as a threat because it could encroach on inhabited areas. These days, the glacier is more of a threat because of its melting ice, which risks worsening floods in the valley and, eventually, a loss of water supply. Experts say the glacier will continue to shrink _ even if temperatures stay at current levels _ because the warming of the last few decades has yet to take full effect.

In a telephone interview with The Associated Press, Venetz said many townsfolk have begun questioning the ancient vow that has been commemorated every year since 1862 in a procession to the chapel on July 31, St. Ignatius' feast day.

The idea to alter the vow came from Fiesch Mayor Herbert Volken, but the concern was not driven by worldly or secular impulses. Instead, the villages "were seeing nature change all around them," and realized the glacier might soon need saving, Venetz said.

Conservation body Pro Natura says the glacier base is receding up the mountain by about 100 feet (30 meters) a year. University of Zurich geographer Hanspeter Holzhauser estimates the river of ice has retreated 2.1 miles (3.4 kilometers) since peaking in 1860 at a length of 14 miles (23 kilometers). Nearly half of the shrinkage has happened since 1950.

Venetz said there were "countless, horrible natural catastrophes" in his parish from the 17th to the 19th centuries as the glacier expanded. "These led to the big volumes of water with floods that brought great damage and calamity in our villages," he said.

Villagers should continue with the vow, but the request for divine assistance should be adjusted to conform with the changing reality of nature, the pastor said.

"Praying should of course continue, because our villages should be spared from natural catastrophes," Venetz said in his sermon. "We should at the same time pray that our glacier does not melt any further, but instead grows, and that the most important thing in life _ water _ remains well preserved."

He said he would ask the local bishop to seek Pope Benedict XVI's permission to change the vow, and a statement from the cantonal (state) government of Valais said a papal audience was planned for September or October.

"At our next procession, we might just be able to pray against climate change, global warming and the receding of the glacier," Venetz said.

Whale Hitches Ride on Cruise Ship - Regrets It.

70-Foot Whale Stuck To Cruise Ship’s Bow


August 05, 2009

A cruise ship in Alaska pulled into port in Vancouver with a rare fin whale stuck to its bow. Princess Cruise Line officials said in a statement that they did not know when the ship struck the large whale and that the crew used whale-avoidance procedures while at sea.

On arrival in Vancouver, the whale was administered CPR at the scene by two burly longshoremen until it could be rushed to Canada's all-new whale medical complex outside Montreal, by flatbed rail car.

The whale could not be interviewed for this story and the Canadian Wildlife Office refused to make a statement about the whale's condition, citing the patient's privacy rights.