Ever Wonder What Happens to Old Hurricanes That Don't Come Ashore?

Hurricane Claudette
Sep. 11, 2009

A Graveyard for Hurricanes?

We were wondering about this, too, so I decided to try to find out. This is what I learned. The great majority of hurricanes never reach land. They live their lives at sea and eventually die a slow death when the water temperature and the air temperature above are no longer appropriate to maintain the hurricane. Hurricanes depend on warm water (tropical) and colder air above. That's why they begin as tropical storms.

This explains why for a few days, Hurricane Claudette was all the rage, with constant weather reports about her activities. Then, quietly, Claudette disappeared from the news and everyone forgot about her.

The average life span of a hurricane is 10 days, only slightly longer than the life span of a common house fly, at 7 days. So in principle a fly caught in a hurricane would most likely live its entire life in the middle of a giant storm.

Flies probably have a shorter life expectancy when they are caught in a hurricane. They have to dart around continuously to avoid being crushed by a large raindrop moving at a great rate of speed, and they never get to land on a pile of fresh dog poop, to relax and enjoy a refreshing lunch.

Hurricanes that do come ashore lead much more exciting lives and can do a lot of damage in a short amount of time. They also can make a place in history, like Katrina. Katrina destroyed the professional careers of several incompetent public oficials, which was okay, but she also tore up a lot of real estate and created the conditions for the deaths of about 1600 people, plus livestock.

The Nose Knows - For 5 Million British Pounds

Cheese expert insures his nose.



September 09, 2009

A master cheese grader, who relies on his nose to pick out quality cheeses, has had it insured for £5 million.

Nigel Pooley, has worked in the cheese-producing industry since 1963 and specialises in selecting good commercial cheese by sniffing samples.

Because of this, his bosses at Wyke Farms wanted to insure his nose and sense of smell and contacted Lloyds of London.

It will cost them £25,000 per year to cover the £5m payout … which is not a figure to be sniffed at. A spokesperson for Lloyd’s said: "The functional parts of key people in certain industries are often just as valuable to the production process as key pieces of machinery in manufacturing.

"Mr Pooley breaks new ground as our first cheese nose, but perfume and wine noses we have insured in the past justify similar quality control value."

A spokesperson for Wyke Farms added: "It may seem a bit unusual to go to such great lengths – something that’s typically reserved for celebrities, but then again, we’ve never been afraid to stray from the norm in order to produce the best farmhouse cheddar possible."

Dead Woman Found Lying in Street

Sep 9, 09

A dead woman was found lying in the street in St. Louis. Nearby residents said the woman had been lying there for 2 or 3 days and they were waiting to see if anyone would return and pick her up. "The first day we thought she was just sleeping off a big drunk," said Bessie Slaughter, who asked not to be identified. Yeah, right, Bessie. A police spokesman, Joe Blanton, who also asked not to be identified, said the police had received a call about a dead woman lying in the street. Police initially thought it was a prank call and continued playing pinochle. When they received a second call, the following day, they decided to go take a look. The woman in the photo above is what they found. The police incident report indicated there was no evidence of foul play and the woman was pronounced DRT, police shorthand for Dead Right There. Her name is listed on the report as Jane Doe.

Robber Returns To Ask Victim for a Date---- Way Cool

Police: Ohio robbery suspect asks victim for date

Sep 08 2009


Ohio police said a suspect in a robbery was arrested when he returned to the home about two hours later to ask the victim out on a date. Police say 30-year-old Stephfon Bennett of Columbus was among three men who robbed a couple late Sunday.

Columbus police Sgt. Sean Laird said the woman easily recognized Bennett as one of the robbers when he returned to ask her out. She said the robber had a very memorable face. She had a relative call 911.

Police said Bennett was arrested in front of the home. He was arraigned Tuesday on a charge of aggravated robbery and was being held in the Franklin County jail on $100,000 bail.

A public defender had not yet been assigned to Bennett's case.

Dummies' Attempt To Steal Chili's Giant Pepper Thwarted By Alarm

Group of Vermont morons try to swipe Chili's pepper sign

Sep 07 2009

Might not be the actual perps



A giant chili pepper on the roof of a Chili's restaurant in southern Vermont was a hot property _ police say four people have been caught trying to steal it.

Bennington police say the group ran 470 feet of extension cord across a four-lane road and through a Home Depot parking lot to power an electric drill used to detach the logo sign early Sunday.

Sgt. Camillo Grande says they also brought a hacksaw to remove the pepper sign, valued at $8,000.

An alarm went off at about 4:30 a.m., thwarting their plans to make their getaway in an SUV.

The four _ two college students, a recent graduate and one who is "between work and school" _ were cited for grand larceny.

A New Product for Penis Size Reduction?

Sep 7 2009
DFW. TX

Remember a couple of years ago when everyone (well at least all men) started to receive dozens of online ads promising to lengthen and thicken penises. Some ads actually made promises in numbers, like add 3 inches to your penis. I recall laughing and remarking that if you took up 3-4 of those offers you could have a 20" penis.

Most men, I assume, did not respond because they were certain it was impossible and was just another Internet money making scam.

Well maybe more men tried it than was imagined, and maybe it actually worked for them, in some instances too well, because today I received an advertisement for the product shown above. When you think about this product, assuming it works, what normal, sane man would buy it, other than some dude who got carried away and ordered the penis enlargements from several sources?

Hey, Mildred. Take a Look at This Hunk!

Gorilla girls given photos of a possible mate

Friday, August 28, 2009

Female gorillas at London Zoo have been given dating website style photographs of possible mates.

The Zoo's singletons, Mjukuu, 10, Effie, 16, and Zaire, 34 are set to be joined later this year by 20 stone male gorilla Yeboah, a 12-year-old who is currently in France. After hooking up with several French gorillas, Yeboah is ready to try out some British girls.

Keepers wanted to get a feel for how the female trio will respond to him and gave each a set of snaps showing him strutting his stuff. Only Mjukuu and Effie are depicted above. Zaire, the oldest and most shy, decided not to come out of her room for the photo op. She took her pics of Yeboah inside with her.

It is hoped this will mean the gorilla girls recognize him when he arrives and will be more likely to mate with him ... lets hope he hasn't made that mistake of using a 10-year-old photo taken before he put on weight and lost his hair.
Keepers visited Yeboah in France a month ago to observe his personality and decided the dashing male would get along perfectly with London Zoo’s female gorillas, who have lacked male attention since the death of silverback Bobby in December 2008.

Team leader Tracey Lee said: “Mjukuu was holding the picture as if she was reading a newspaper. We think Yeboah will go for her first because she's very pretty, very social and she's a terrible flirt.

"She used to hug Bobby and sit on his knee all the time while looking over her shoulder at the others."

“Yeboah is a very charming, fun loving and intelligent gorilla. I think it was love at first sight when the girls were let onto the island to look at the pictures – it was a very special moment.”

Yeboah has also been given pictures of the three London ladies and keepers believe that this will help familiarise the gorillas with each other before they meet.

Photo credit: Zoological Society of London