New Fab Diet Guaranteed to Reduce Your Weight to Zero

All new total weight loss program unveiled.

Tuscaloosa, Alabama
Sep 23, 2009

If you've ever wished you could just lose all your weight and not have to worry about it ever again, this may be the diet plan for you. It isn't easy and it will cost a bundle but you will never have to look a scale in the face again.

Throw away all those calorie counters and tasteless substitutes for food. All you will need to do to lose all that excess weight, and more, is dig to the center of the earth!

That's right, with a good quality shovel, a rugged pick axe, a portable jackhammer, a box of dynamite sticks and detonators, a heavy duty insulated fire suit, and a bag of peanut butter sandwiches with a thermos of Kool-Aid, and you'll be on your way to a new, slimmer, healthier you. Here is the detailed plan.

First, you’ll dig 18 miles (30km) through earth’s crust (see illustration at the top of the globe above), then 1800 miles (3000km) through the rock mantle, (this is where the jackhammer and dynamite are really useful), then through 1200 miles (2000km) of molten iron and nickel,(thank your lucky stars for those fireproof coveralls), then 600 miles (1000km) through solid rock (the jackhammer and dynamite again) to reach the center, which is sort of like a giant sauna at temperatures of 8132°F (4500°C). By the time you reach your destination you already will have lost several pounds. But the real bonus is that at the center of the earth the forces of gravity will be equal on all sides of you, canceling each other, meaning you’ll weigh nothing. Good luck.

Taser-Crazy Cops On Rampage With Newest Police Toy

Did California police use a Taser on an unarmed, legless man in a wheelchair? | McClatchy

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Did CA Police Use a Taser on an Unarmed, Legless Man In a Wheelchair?

September 21, 2009.

Sure looks like it. Click on the video tape of the incident above. You be the judge.

McClatchy reports:

MERCED, Calif. The Merced Police Department's Internal Affairs Division is investigating whether an officer twice used a Taser on an unarmed, wheelchair-bound man with no legs.

The man who was Tasered, Gregory Williams, 40, a double-leg amputee, spent six days in jail on suspicion of domestic violence and resisting arrest, but the Merced County District Attorney's office hasn't filed any charges.

Williams is black, and the two main arresting officers are white, but it's unknown whether race played any role in the incident.

Williams, who was released from jail on Friday, said he was manhandled and Tasered by police, even though he said he was never physically aggressive toward the officers and didn't resist arrest.

Williams said he was humiliated after his pants fell down during the incident. The officers allegedly left him outdoors in broad daylight, handcuffed on the pavement, nude below the waist. Williams said the Sept. 11 arrest also left him with an injured shoulder, limiting his mobility in his wheelchair.

Child TV Star Claims She Was Raped, Then Had Consensual Sex With Her Dad For 10 Years!

Mackenzie Phillips says she and her dad, John Phillips, were long-term sex partners.

John Phillips was not available to comment due to his death. His former publicist denied everything for him, including his death.

Sep 23 2009


(AP Photo/File)

The March 5, 1981 file photo above shows John Phillips of the pop group 'The Mamas and The Papas,' left, and his daughter MacKenzie, right, shown during a taping of the John Davidson Show in Burbank, Calif. Phillips says she had a long-term sexual relationship with her father, John. People magazine says Phillips writes in her new book, ''High on Arrival,'' that she had sex with her father on the night before she was to get married in 1979. (Sidebar: Since they were not yet officially married, does this make MacKensie's husband a cuckold? What about idiot?)

Former child star Mackenzie Phillips said Wednesday her father, John Phillips, who was a leader of the 1960s pop group the Mamas and the Papas, raped her when she was a teenager and that her sexual relationship with him later became what she termed "consensual."

Mackenzie Phillips writes in her new book, "High on Arrival," that she had sex with her father on the night before she was to get married in 1979 at age 19, according to People magazine.

Phillips wrote in her book: "I woke up that night from a blackout to find myself having sex with my own father."

She told "The Oprah Winfrey Show" in an interview that aired Wednesday that her siblings "definitely have a problem with this." Winfrey also read a statement from Genevieve Waite, John Phillips' wife at the time of the alleged abuse and Mackenzie's stepmother that said he was "incapable, no matter how drunk or drugged he was, of having such a relationship with his own child."

Phillips, who starred on TV's "One Day at a Time," said the sexual relationship with her father lasted a decade and ended when she became pregnant and didn't know who had fathered the child. She had an abortion, which her father paid for, "and I never let him touch me again."

Phillips told Winfrey that she first tried cocaine when she was 11 years old. Her father did drugs with her, taught her to roll joints and injected her with cocaine. Phillips said she's been clean for a year after pleading guilty to possessing cocaine and entering a drug treatment program.

Phillips said the sexual relationship, although she believes it became consensual, was "an abuse of power" and "a betrayal" on her father's part. She said she forgave John Phillips on his deathbed.

"I can't be the only one this has happened to," Phillips said. "Someone needs to put a face on consensual incest."

Lousiana Woman Busted For Having Too Much Strength In Her Thighs

9-1-09

Lisa Newsome, 42, was arrested in Zachary, La., in August, caught trying to smuggle a 24-can case of beer weighing 20 pounds out of a convenience store. The heavyset, housecoat-clad Newsome was squeezing the case of brew between her thighs as she waddled from the cooler toward the front door. When police arrived, Newsome offered to pull up her dress to demonstrate how she carried the beer, but the arresting officer declined the invitation. "I told her, no thanks," said the officer.

The woman explained that the only reason she tried to steal the beer was because she was employed as a prostitute and drank a case of beer daily but business was slow because of the recession and she was out of money. "If I had the money I would have paid for the beer," she told police.

Japanese Black Bear Angered By Tourists, Attacks - Older Brother Arrives Too Late

Bear in Japan injures 9 at highway rest stop

Updated Sun. Sep. 20 2009 9:02 AM ET

The Associated Press

TOKYO -- A bear injured nine people at a highway rest stop in central Japan before being shot dead in a souvenir shop, a firefighter said Sunday.

The black bear seriously injured four men Saturday afternoon in Nyukawa, a small mountain town about 230 kilometres west of Tokyo, said firefighter Tomohiko Akano.

The 1.3-metre bear first attacked people at a bus parking lot and then entered a lodge where it was trapped in a souvenir shop and shot dead by a hunter, according to media reports.

No one suffered life-threatening injuries in the attack, which lasted about an hour, reports said.

A photograph from the scene showed the bear mauling a prone person in a parking lot while a man attempted to scare it off.

The rest stop is on a mountainous road that is open during summer months only to licensed buses and taxis. The area is frequented by tourists for its scenic views.

The bears prefer the tourists leave the scenic views to them, the year-round residents of the area.

Akano said bear attacks are very rare in the area.

Shortly after the tourists departed on the bus, the shot bear's older brother showed up in search of his little brother. Enraged on finding his brother's corpse, the larger brother bear tore down the souvenir shop, taking many souvenirs with him for other bears.

Swiss Referee Disciplined for Giving Digital Salute (the "bird") to Hecklers

Highly Regarded Swiss referee temporarily suspended for insulting fans

Sep. 21,2009

Mr Massimo Busacca is more used to flashing red cards at players than flashing obscene gestures at fans.

But the official football referee has been given a three-match ban for insulting fans.

Massimo Busacca was pictured waving his middle finger at crowds during a match between FC Baden and Young Boys.

He had asked for a warning to be played over the public address system after Baden supporters ran onto the pitch.

Mr Busacca said he was provoked by the subsequent "verbal abuse" he received from the fans, but he apologised for his "unsporting gesture".

"I lost my cool," he said in a statement.

Mr Busacca was in charge at last season's Champions League final between Barcelona and Manchester United and is lined up to referee World Cup matches in South Africa in 2010.

The Swiss football association said he was the "best Swiss referee" but that the suspension was to go into force immediately.

Cheating Fiance Loses Face, Ring and Prospective Husband

Unfaithful woman seeks 2nd chance by wearing sign

Sep 20 2009


An Ohio woman who admitted to being unfaithful has chosen a very public way of asking her boyfriend not to break up their engagement. Jess Duttry, 19, stood

Probably not the real Duttry>>

outside a supermarket parking lot in northern Ohio this week with a handwritten sign that said "I cheated" and "Honk if I deserve a second chance." On the back, Duttry had scrawled, "I honestly love him."

She said she chose to stage her vigil Wednesday evening after her fiance took back his ring earlier that day when she confessed she'd cheated on him this summer. She said it was all just good, clean fun and she only did it because she was horny and her boyfriend was out of town. She said she just needed a lot of sex to stay happy.

It's not clear if her former fiance saw the message, but Duttry said dozens of people honked, and some got out of their cars to hug her and wish her well. Several men admitted to reporters they stopped to ask for her phone number, to see if she would like to have sex with them since it no longer would be cheating.