Monday, March 15, 2010

Lizzie Borden's Great Granddaughter?



Woman arrested for allegedly wielding ax at roommate

March 9, 2010

Deputies arrested a 44-year-old Helena woman late Sunday night for allegedly threatening her roommate with an ax.

Aurora Martha Swafford faces a felony charge of assault with a weapon, according to documents filed in Justice Court Monday.

Deputies arrived at a residence on the 2900 block of Village Road and talked with the victim and Swafford, both of whom said they had been engaged in an argument.

During the altercation, Swafford allegedly grabbed a “sawed-off” ax from next to a stove and held it over her head in a threatening manner, the documents state.

The man was able to wrestle the ax away from Swafford before law enforcement officers arrived. He told officers that when he tried to leave, the woman, who weighs 420 pounds, sat on him to prevent him from going.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Prime, Top Dollar Boobs Busted In Spokane


Police: Woman in bust hid nearly $26,000 in bra

Mar 13 2010



SPOKANE, Wash.— A fraud bust, indeed: Spokane County sheriff's deputies said a woman was hiding nearly $26,000 in her bra when she was booked into jail for investigation of theft. Lukeisha A. Harris was one of three Seattle-area residents arrested Friday as part of an alleged fraud ring. Deputies said they used phony Oregon driver's licenses and counterfeit credit cards to obtain cash advances from Spokane banks.

Sheriff's spokesman Dave Reagan said the three were arrested after a worker at one bank reported that they tried to obtain money using a stolen credit card. The investigators followed the ring to two other banks before making the bust.

Reagan said that during a search at the Spokane County Jail, guards found that the 24-year-old Harris _ who is 6 feet tall _ had the cash hidden in her bra, along with bank receipts.

It was not immediately known Saturday if Harris or the other suspects had lawyers, but 7 local lawyers appeared at the courthouse after the bust was announced, offering to represent the woman with the cash pro bono.

Friday, March 12, 2010

NYC Police Tow Truck Tows Hearse With Dead Body Inside


NEW YORK— Cops say dead New Yorker taken for a ride.

A police tow truck removed a hearse parked outside a New York City funeral home, giving its dearly departed passenger an unexpected side trip. NYPD spokesman Paul Browne said there was "nothing to indicate it was more than just an illegally parked car." Redden's Funeral Home director Paul DeNigris said a windshield placard had fallen flat. The vehicles's tinted windows helped obscure the white cardboard box that held the remains.

DeNigris said he was "a wreck" after discovering the vehicle missing Monday in Manhattan. He rushed to the tow pound, where he discreetly explained the circumstances and got the dearly departed back. He also got the body to an airport in time for a scheduled flight to Miami.

He plans to contest the $115 parking ticket.

Just Another L.A. Girl


Police surprised by teacher-student sex confession - boy, not so much...

Mar 10 2010
By JOHN ROGERS - Associated Press Writer



LOS ANGELES— In his 28 years with the Burbank Police Department, Sgt. Robert Quesada had never heard of anything quite like it: A well-respected "hot" teacher at one of the city's public schools walks into police headquarters and confesses to having an affair with a 14-year-old boy.

With her attorney by her side, police say, Amy Victoria Beck told detectives the relationship with one of her former students began in March 2009 and continued until last December. She said it left her wracked with guilt.

"I can't tell you that I remember anything like that ever happening before," Quesada said of someone confessing to a crime when police had no idea a crime had even been committed.

"Burglars, robbers, criminal suspects, they don't turn themselves in," he said. "But when people are overwhelmed with guilt, and they have a conscience, I guess it makes them do what's right."

After hearing Beck's story, detectives tracked down the boy, who is now a 15-year-old high school student. Quesada said he confirmed what she told them.

The 33-year-old teacher, who has been charged with five counts of engaging in sex acts with a person under 16, appeared briefly in court Wednesday before returning to jail. She is scheduled to be arraigned March 25 and faces as much as seven years in prison if convicted.

As she sits in jail, making no effort to post her $175,000 bail, according to her attorney, school officials say they are as stunned by the revelation as police were.

"I think the reason why people are in shock is because she was considered such a good, upstanding teacher," said Gabe Soumakian, the Burbank Unified School District's assistant superintendent. "I don't think anyone has ever had a complaint about her."

Beck, who Quesada said is married and the mother of three children, had taught school for several years in the Los Angeles suburb that is home to such major studios as Walt Disney and Warner Bros. She was teaching English and social science at David Starr Jordan Middle School until last week when she abruptly resigned. Soumakian said she told school officials she was moving out of state.

After learning she'd been arrested, officials sent psychologists to the school to counsel students.

Although teacher-student sex scandals make headlines and have been the subject of TV movies, USC sociologist Dorian Traube said evidence suggests they are actually quite rare. Quesada couldn't immediately recall the last time one occurred in Burbank, a city of 100,000 that borders Los Angeles.

The most famous case is likely that of Mary Kay Letourneau, the Washington teacher who served seven years in prison for her affair with a student that began in the 1990s when he was 12 and she was 34. Letourneau, who has since married her former student Vili Fualaau, continues to capitalize on her notoriety, hosting a "Hot For Teacher" night at a Seattle bar last year.

Traube said there is often a double standard in such cases. Girls who become involved with their male teachers are sometimes thought of as sluts, she said, while a boy is sometimes hailed as the campus stud. But the emotional trauma for either sex, she added, can be just as devastating.

Both sexes are made to feel desirable when such an affair begins, Traube said, and then devastated when it ends. What's more, they are being manipulated by people in authority who have control over their grades.

"It is still highly taboo and highly illegal," she said of such relationships. "And it is appropriate that it be highly taboo."

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Sacrilege In Iowa


Police: Burglar uses church equipment to watch porn

Mar 10 2010

AMES, Iowa— Second-degree burglary charges have been filed against an Ames man who broke into a church where he allegedly used the institution's electronic equipment to watch pornography. Police allege the 55-year-old man broke into the First Christian Church on Thursday. After gathering items from around the building, he is believed to have gone to the basement to spend the night.

Police summoned to the church Friday by staff, found the man trying to haul away a garbage can filled with food, kitchen utensils, clothes, electronic equipment and a 26-inch flat-screen television.

Police Cmdr. Mike Brennan said the man used the electronic equipment to watch pornographic movies that were found on him when he was arrested.

The man was being held at the Story County Jail in lieu of $10,000 bond.

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Tuesday, March 9, 2010

69 Busted By South Carolina Cops


South Carolina Police sting busts up 69 in parking lot

MARCH 9--While on patrol early Sunday morning at a mall in Orangeburg, South Carolina, an alert cop noticed a parked Chevy conversion van rocking. When Corporal William Murphy shined a light though the vehicle's back window, he expected to find teenagers rocking it up with the help of a little marijuana for stimulus. Instead, he spotted Shanna Byrd, 30, and Ronald Braxton, 32, both naked and in action together. Specifically, according to an Orangeburg Department of Public Safety report, "Mrs. Byrd's head was in Mr. Braxton's groin area and Mr. Braxton's head was in Mrs. Byrd's groin area." When the naked couple failed to respond after being bathed in 15 seconds of portable police spotlight, Murphy started knocking. (I hear you knockin,' but you cain't come in.)

Braxton was not pleased by the interruption,but managed to uncouple from Byrd (the amorous duo are portrayed in the accompanying police arrest photo). After Murphy identified himself, Braxton became more subdued but responded, "Fuck you. Who is it?" Despite Murphy's order to open the van's door, Braxton, continuing to curse the officer, refused to exit (during a brief standoff, Braxton took time out to smoke a post-coital cigarette). After locating her clothing and dressing, Byrd eventually opened the door, and was busted along with Braxton for misdemeanor disorderly conduct. Cops reported that both arrestees were intoxicated. The amorous pair might have gone undetected, of course, had their van not been parked, with its engine running, rocking back and forth, underneath a light pole.

When questioned by local reporters at the police station, both Byrd and Braxton joined in the following statement: "No comment."

Monday, March 8, 2010

Woman Charged With Assault By Breast Milk on Police Officer


OWENSBORO, Ky.— A woman in jail for public intoxication was accused of assaulting a jailer by squirting breast milk at her. (Substitute Woman*)>>

WYMT-TV reported that a 31-year-old woman was arrested Thursday on a misdemeanor charge of public intoxication. But as she was changing into an inmate uniform, she squirted breast milk into the face of a female deputy who was with her.

The woman now faces a felony charge of third degree assault on a police officer. Her bond was set at $10,000.

*This photo was substituted because the real mom was still in jail.

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