"Look, Ma, No Hands, No Brains"

Person in sunroof leads to drunken driving arrest

Jun 13 2010

YPSILANTI, Mich.— Police arrested a suspected drunken driver after spotting a passenger standing through the sunroof of her vehicle while it was heading down the street. Police told AnnArbor.com that an officer noticed the vehicle about 3:30 a.m. Saturday. Police said the 30-year-old woman was intoxicated, though they declined to release her blood-alcohol level.

The woman was later released pending charges of operating while intoxicated.

___

Get Your Kicks on Route 66, Or an Average City Bus Route

Ore. man accused of hair-snipping on bus sentenced to 2 and a third years in prison


Jun 10 2010

PORTLAND, Ore.— A 23-year-old man accused of snipping the hair of unsuspecting bus passengers was sentenced Wednesday to 2 1/3 years in prison. Multnomah County investigators said Jared Weston Walter cut large clumps of hair from three women and stuck glue in the hair of one woman on Portland-area buses in the past year.

Walter had pleaded guilty to two counts of witness tampering. Prosecutors said that in one case he wrote his girlfriend, telling her what to say on the witness stand. They said he also asked a friend to buy scissors and plant them as evidence to lead investigators astray.

Oregon law doesn't specifically deal with stealing or gluing a stranger's hair. So prosecutors charged him with third-degree robbery among other crimes, and later with witness tampering.

Some seasoned court watchers thought the sentence was excessively long, exceeding that of the maven of decorative schlock, Martha Stewart, whose misdeeds were far more severe, including witness tampering that represented endangerment of the entire securities market.

Perhaps Martha will offer to decorate Jared's cell in Oregon, like she is depicted above decorating her own Massachusetts prison digs.

So it goes.

___

Can u txt & drv?

Apparently, She Thought She Could

June 4, 2010

Crank the radio up. Rant to Caytlynn on the bluetooth. Meanwhile, put on some mascara. Now punch it because you can't remember where you spent the night and you have to get... somewhere.

The jury's still out on this driving stunt / attention grabber. However, Danica Patrick probably doesn't need to worry about the competition.

It's Daddy; I'm Home, Where are the Kids?

In this photo released by the civil police, Jose Agostinho Pereira is seen at a police station in Maranhao state, Brazil, Wednesday, June 9, 2010.

According to police, Pereira kept his daughter imprisoned for 12 years in a remote fishing village, raped her repeatedly and had seven children with her. Police allege that Pereira, 54, kept his daughter, now 28, under virtual house arrest in a two-room, thatched-roof hut near a tiny fishing village in northeastern Brazil.

A police spokesperson, speaking on condition of anonymity because he/she/it was not authorized to speak said the following:

"The place was a pig sty; there was filth, insects, excrement, dead rats, starving children stumbling about in the rubbish in search of a tiny morsel of nourishment, and always, Daddy, stupping his daughter, on the floor, in the trash, standing against a wall of the hut. The girl/woman must have been raped more than 2000 times while she was a captive. The offspring of this incestuous nightmare are retarded, deformed, unable to communicate, chronically ill and constantly on the brink of starvation. The father confessed to everything and said things had just gotten out of control when his wife left him and the children 12 years ago. He told the arresting officers that he couldn't think of anything else to do."

Update: Brazilian police released new information about this ongoing investigation. Mr. Pereira told police the sex with his daughter was consensual and that he had done nothing wrong. He said the daughter apparently had found him to be very attractive and that is what led to the consensual sex, It also was revealed that Pereira recently had began to have intercourse with one his daughter's own daughters, who would be Pereira's granddaughter. Pereira declined to answer when asked if the sex with his granddaughter was also consensual.

Woman says Citibank fired her for being 'too sexy'

Should "Hotness" be a Protected Class? Absolutely

June 3, 2010

Looking hot and sexy is no crime. But it seems true for a Queens woman who alleges her hotness cost her her job at financial giant Citibank.

Debrahlee Lorenzana, a former Citibank employee, alleges she was fired from a Manhattan bank for being too good-looking. Lorenzana, a 33-year-old single mom, alleges that she was terminated for being too gorgeous and that her ex bosses thought her curvy body shape was a distraction to her co-workers and supervisors- so much so that it cost her her $70,000 a year job at Citibank.

"In their exact words? Too distracting," ABC quoted Lorenzana as saying.

Lorenzana says the Citibank officials tolerated less conservative clothing on other Citibank female employees, but found her too steamy because she had a much more attractive body figure. She claims that numerous times her boss at a Citibank Branch in the Chrysler Building kept insisting she wear more conservative dress to work. “We don’t want you to wear turtlenecks; we don’t want you to wear pencil skirts; we don’t want you to wear fitted suits or even heels,” she told CBS. Apparently, they secretly hoped she’d wear nothing at all.

Lorenzana says the Citibank officials tolerated less conservative clothing on other Citibank female employees, but found her too steamy because she had a much more attractive body figure. “What they said to me is (other women’s) body types and my body type were different and because of my body type I drew too much attention,” Lorenzana said.

As for her fashion choices, the Latina lovely says she never flashed too much skin and dressed professionally, not provocatively, according to New York Daily News. "I can't help it that I have curves," she told the Daily News. "And I'm not going to go eat and gain 50 or 100 pounds because my job wants me to be the same size as everyone else. Everything I wore was professional, things everybody wears in corporate America," Lorenzana told The Post. "The way they looked at what I wore was very disappointing."

The lawsuit
The 5'6" and 125 pounds Lorenzana is now suing the bank, with lawyers filing papers claiming she was fired “as a result of the shape of her figure. In blatantly discriminatory fashion, plaintiff was advised that as a result of the shape of her figure, such clothes were purportedly 'too distracting' for her male colleagues and supervisors to bear."

Crapola In The Cola

NJ teen admits defecating in classmate's soda
Jun 02 2010

CAMDEN, N.J.— His lawyer calls it a foolish prank, but a judge isn't laughing. A 17-year-old high school student from Haddon Township admitted in family court Thursday that he defecated in a classmate's soda during an auto-shop class.

Prosecutors dropped an aggravated assault charge in exchange for the boy's guilty plea to a charge of tampering with a food product.

Authorities said the victim sipped the soda, then spit it out as his classmates laughed on March 29.

A judge ordered the boy to serve probation, serve 200 hours of community service, write a letter to the victim to apologize _ and to write a 1,000-word report on why it's unhealthy to ingest fecal matter.

Dumbest Man Alive Discovered in Seattle

Police: Man shoots self in testicles

Jun 02 2010


SEATTLE— Police said a man accidentally shot himself in the testicles at a Lynnwood department store. Police spokeswoman Shannon Sessions said the man was carrying his handgun in his waistband and it accidentally went off about noon Sunday.

She said he was wounded in the testicles and also in his leg and foot. No one else was hurt.

The man was rushed to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle, but there was no immediate word on his condition.

A spokesman for the medical center, who was not authorized to speak because of patient confidentiality said the staff had concluded that the man was, in fact, the dumbest man alive,
___

Basic information from: The Seattle Times, http://www.seattletimes.com Other stuff from the editor of this blog.