Ten Year-Old Diva Stuns Opera World

Jackie Evancho, a 10 year-old girl from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania with the voice of a seasoned opera star provides an amazing display of her vocal talent. Hearing is believing.

Dec. 23, 2010

Masturbating Mom Needs Privacy

Topless Woman Masturbating In Van Arrested On Gun Charge

A topless woman who was masturbating in a hotel parking lot is facing a weapons charge after Illinois cops investigating her auto eroticism discovered a loaded pistol in her vehicle.

A Naperville cop responding to an unrelated call spotted Vikki Myers, 44, in a van outside the Red Roof Inn. After initially claiming that she was changing clothes, Myers admitted to pleasuring herself in the vehicle, according to police.

That admission may have been prompted by a police officer’s discovery of what an officer described as “adult items that were used for self-pleasuring,”e.g., dildos.

In addition to copping to the vehicular masturbation,(is masturbating in your own parked vehicle at night in the parking lot of your temporary home, a hotel, a crime in Illinois?) Myers told cops that there was a loaded 9mm Sig Sauer handgun in the car, a weapon for which she did not have a state-issued Firearm Owners Identification card. Myers, pictured in the above mug shot, was charged with unlawful possession of a firearm.

It was not immediately clear why the woman had to remove her top to effectuate the self-pleasuring. That's what attracted the attention of the cop, himself an apparent voyeur, against whom Ms. Myers should prefer charges.

Additionally, lacking probable cause, the search of Meyers' vehicle was an illegal search and the discovery of the sexual implements and the handgun should be suppressed as the "fruit of the poisoned tree." 20+ years post Miranda and the cops still can't get it right?

It appears that Myers, who was staying at the hotel with her three children, had repaired to her 2002 Chrysler van for some alone time. And when you are a single mom, on the road all day with 3 children that's not a crime.

Welcome Back Clavin

Dec. 22, 2010
Deer Droppings, TX

The editorial staff of BizarreStuff is pleased to welcome the return of one of our most popular co-editors, Clavin. Clavin has spent the last 4 1/2 months in a rehab facility for recovering news and other substance junkies and public administration students in or within 800 miles of Amarillo, TX. The Graywolf has been forced to pick up the slack to keep our readers supplied with sufficient stupid, criminal, psychotic, para normal and nonsensical news to satisfy the most chaotic, disorganized and dangerous brains in the nation.

We at BizarreStuff wish all of you, our faithful readers, a healthy and fun-filled 2011, filled with an ever growing and shallower content of BizarreStuff.

Apres nous, rien de tout

Misunderstood, Misanthropic Oklahoma Math Teacher Does Her Duty To Uphold the Law

DECEMBER 22--A 13-year-old boy was arrested Friday for using a permanent marker while in class at his Oklahoma City middle school, a violation of an obscure city ordinance.

But the ordinance was not obscure to a vigilant math teacher, DeLynn Woodside. With one eye on her students and the other on enforcing the law, Woodside spotted one of her 13 year-old students in flagrant violation of the law, according to an Oklahoma City Police Department report, when he was observed in possession of a permanent marker and actually using it. The 50 year-old educator told police officer Miguel Campos that moreover, the boy was using the Sharpie Permanent Marker to “writ(e) on a piece of paper, which caused it to bleed over onto the desk.”

Woodside, pictured at right, reported that the child, whose name was redacted by police from the report, attempted to hide the marker when she asked him for it. Strangely, Woodside’s Facebook page reveals that her “likes and interests” include the official “Sharpie Permanent Markers” page on Facebook. It was thought that the educator is opposed to permitting the use of the permanent markers by juveniles, who have not acquired sufficient maturity to be entrusted with a "permanent" marker.

Campos reported that he allowed Woodside, a seventh grade math teacher, to “sign a citation” against the boy, who was then transported to the Community Intervention Center, a juvenile holding facility. A police sergeant subsequently “booked the marker into the property room as evidence.”

A police spokesman referred to the student’s bust as a “citizen’s arrest” effectuated by Woodside.

The marker ban--which apparently is aimed at curbing graffiti--stems from a city ordinance making it illegal to possess spray paint or a permanent marker on private property (without the owner’s permission). It was unclear whether or not jail time for the law-violating youth would be sought by the District Attorney's office.

The teacher apparently needs continuing ed classes in the use of the English language because "public" schools are not "private" property and not subject to the ordinance.

Missed my Eagle Scout badge by that much...

ANUSVILLE, Minn. — A 26-year-old man, one badge away from being an Eagle Scout, thought he was doing a good deed when he gave a 70-year-old woman a ride to a Minnesota bank.

But police say the woman robbed the bank, and the man was her unsuspecting getaway driver.

The man told the Free Press of Mankato that he thought the woman, who rents an apartment from his mother, was going to the bank to withdraw cash to pay her rent. "I figured if helping a little old lady across the street was a good deed, driving her across town would be a slam dunk badge."

Instead, employees of the Elysian State Bank reported Wednesday that an "elderly woman" told the teller she had a gun, an itchy trigger finger, and a hungry boy-toy waiting outside. The robber then demanded and received some cash and left.

Police stopped the car and took both, pictured above, into custody. After laughing their asses off and tweeting their kids, they determined the woman acted alone.

The Star Tribune reported the woman had a hammer but no gun. She's in jail pending charges, but is using her time wisely, learning how to hook from the pros. When asked to explain herself, she angrily exclaimed "The feds haven't given me a COLA in two frickin' years, my bingo money's dryin' up, and WalMart didn't need anymore greeters!! What's a good woman gonna do?!?!"

http://mankatofreepress.com/bigstory/x1613329877/Update-Driver-unaware-of-robbery-plan

Inhumanly Stupid Crook - There Are No Words To Describe This Level of Dumb

Cops - Office Manager steals $300K from U.S. employer - Claims diplomatic immunity as son of former diplomat

In a new, bizarre twist on an all-too-familiar crime, the Honolulu Star Advertiser reports that a former office manager stole $300,000 from a local law firm because he believed, as a former diplomat's son, that he was immune from prosecution.

Nigel Salmingo expressed shock and surprise on being informed by police that he was under arrest for stealing the money. He wanted to know if he could talk to his mother before going to jail, claiming she was the one who always told him he was immune from prosecution.

Nigel Salmingo, 31, pleaded guilty in state court in Hawaii last week to 37 counts of theft, forgery and money laundering concerning the money he took from Winer Meheula & Devens between 2007 and 2009. The son of a former Philippines consulate general to Hawaii in the 1990s, he will be deported when he has served his sentence because he is not a citizen.

Salmingo reportedly used the money to fund a lavish lifestyle. He escaped detection for 18 months as he had the law firm's bank and credit statements sent to his home and made false entries in its books to conceal his crimes, the article says.

He faces maximum terms of 10 years on first-degree theft and money laundering counts and five years on the other counts when he is sentenced next year. However, regardless of what amount of time he gets, Salmingo probably will be released in 18 months to two years, his lawyer, Michael Green, tells the newspaper. He indicated his client felt he should be excused because he didn't know he could be incarcerated for theft, given his dad's former diplomatic immunity. He also said he was sorry about the confusion and believes someone should have told him earlier.

Philidelphia Woman Offers Sex For World Series Tickets For Her Husband and Herself

Woman in sex-for-tix case 'embarrassed'
Is this the real woman?

Oct 28 2009 (A facsimile buxom blonde) >>

MARYCLAIRE DALE - Associated Press Writer

Susan Finkelstein faces a preliminary hearing in Bucks County on Dec. 3. On the bright side, she's been offered a pair of tickets to a weekend game in Philadelphia, courtesy of a radio station and car dealer.

The 43-year-old University of Pennsylvania graduate student wanted to take her husband to a game between her beloved Philadelphia Phillies and the New York Yankees. The self-described "buxom blonde" said she was simply trying to score tickets online, as she had in the past.

But this time her Craig's List ad was answered by an undercover cop and she was busted for solicitation of prostitution.

"It definitely wasn't worth all this ... turmoil and anxiety," she told the AP with her lawyer and her husband, 56-year-old John LaVoy, on the line. "Hopefully, the silver lining is I do get to see the game." Her husband appeared less enthusiastic.

She is not worried about the notoriety that might follow her to the stadium in the wake of national news coverage of her arrest.

"I think most people will be focused on the game," Finkelstein said. Her husband wasn't so sure.