Justice - The American Way

July 12, 2011
Southern Utah

In an amazing display of 'getting even' a group of four elderly U.S. vacationers, each of whom holds a black belt in karate, decided to give a bullying gang of bikers a taste of their own medicine and a lesson in courtesy. They beat the bikers within an inch of their lives for belittling the older folks, making threatening remarks, forcefully taking their picnic lunch, and shoving one of the elderly women against a rock facing. By the time the melee was over, 3 of the bikers had broken limbs and two had to be care-flighted to a hospital in Western Colorado.

Utah public officials refused to file charges against the group of older tourists based on complaints made by the bikers.

"It was hilarious," said a police spokesman who declined to be identified on the grounds of insomnia. "These old guys and gals were whaling on these so-called tough-guy bikers and the bikers were begging for mercy and police protection. They'll think twice before they try to take advantage of others they perceive as being weaker in the future," he opined.

None of the beat-up bikers was willing to be interviewed for this story, claiming they were surprised and sand-bagged by the old folks. The bikers' motorsickles were impounded by the police and the bikers will have to travel to Provo to reclaim them and pay transport and storage fees.

The Eliminator - Catherine Dickslayer

Man's penis cut off, run through garbage disposal by angry wife


Jul 12 2011


(AP Photo/Garden Grove Police Dept.)

The above police booking photo depicts Catherine Kieu Becker, 48, who, in a controled rage drugged her estranged husband with a meal she prepared and served him, then tied him to a bed, amputated his penis with a knife and ran the detached member down her kitchen garbage disposal in her home in Garden Grove, CA. She has a court date Wednesday, July 13, 2011.

A police spokesperson named Nightengale said the 51-year-old man felt sick after eating, went to lie down and lost consciousness. His 48-year-old wife then tied the victim's arms and legs to the bed with rope, removed his clothes and attacked him with a 10-inch kitchen knife as he awoke.

"He was conscious when his penis was removed," Nightengale said. He got to watch his own penectomy.

Nightengale said Becker then put the penis in the garbage disposal and turned it on.

Becker called 911 and indicated to arriving officers that the victim was in the next room. Paramedics found him tied to the bed, bleeding profusely.

Bail for Becker was set at $1 million after she was booked at the Orange County Jail for investigation of aggravated mayhem, false imprisonment, assault with a deadly weapon, administering a drug with intent to commit a felony, poisoning and spousal abuse.

The victim underwent surgery and was in serious condition at the University of California at Irvine Medical Center in Orange. Nightengale said the man is expected to survive but will be dickless.

Becker was taken into custody without incident but refused to talk to officers, Nightengale said.

A Human Magnet in Brazil?

Brazilian boy attracts metal objects

Jul 09 2011



SAO PAULO — An 11-year-old boy in Brazil's northeastern city of Mossoro has drawn attention with his purportedly magnet-like qualities.

The Globo TV network broadcast images of Paulo David Amorim demonstrating how forks, knives, scissors, cooking pans, cameras and other metal objects seem drawn to his body and remain stuck on his chest, stomach and back.

The boy's father told Globo that he decided to test his son after learning of a boy in Croatia with a similar ability. Junior Amorim says he was surprised to find "a fork and knife stuck to his body."

The youth says classmates call him "magnet boy."

Dr. Dix-Sept Rosado Sobrinho told Globo it is the first time in his 30-year career that he has seen a case like this.

So far no one has come forward with an explanation. No scars indicate he may have had a magnet implanted in his body. Instead of metal objects being drawn to the boy's body why doesn't the boy stick to metal objects like cars, steel girder, etc.?

Virginia Man Has Unsuccessful Tryst With Blow-Up Doll

July, 2011

WOODBRIDGE, Va. -- A sex starved U.S. Army officer was charged with burglary and destruction of property after he was arrested in the closet of an adult video store with a blow-up doll.

28-year-old Justin Dale Little Jim is the culprit. Little Jim broke into an adult video store at 2:45 AM and was discovered by a police dog in a closet attempting to have sex with a blow-up doll, pictured above.

An initial court appearance was continued Wednesday. Court records show that Little Jim remained in custody Wednesday and did not list a lawyer.

His new girlfriend remained in the custody of the owner of the video store.

Woman Attacks Cop With Used Tampon

Cops: Officer attacked with feminine hygiene product

Jul. 8, 2011

A South Dakota woman struck a police officer in the face with a soiled tampon. (photo is of unsoiled tampons)

Ada Morales pleaded not guilty in May to two charges of aggravated assault against a law enforcement officer and other counts including resisting arrest and intentionally causing contact with bodily fluids. She is scheduled for trial in October. Morales claims the tampon was not soiled as a defense, asserting she had inserted the tampon only as a precaution because she was expecting her period.

Morales also is accused of spraying the officer with cleaning items, which may be used as a mitigating factor in her defense. She also attacked another officer, knocking off his glasses and scratching him.

It was not clear whether the first officer complained about the tampon incident.

Junkville, CA - A Man's Castle

Calif. oddity's creator ordered jailed by judge

Jul 08 2011

A 59 year-old retired phone company employee has incurred the wrath of officialdom by constructing a ramshackle dwelling over the course of 30 years that does not meet California building regulations.

Kim Fahey never sought building permits or followed other construction codes in erecting what he calls Phonehenge West, his home and the residence of other hangers on.

Fahey is shown in the above photo standing on his 'elevator,' a scissor lift, at its topmost extension in Acton, CA.

He has been ordered to dismantle the structure by a Los Angeles County Judge, Daviann Mitchell and to disconnect electricity and keep guests out but has failed to comply. So, he is being held on $75,000 bail in the pokey pending a hearing on the multifarious code violation citations.

Mitchell said Fahey's "blatant refusal" to demolish the structures and disconnect electricity put his family, the community and first-responders at risk because the buildings pose a significant fire hazard. The judge had allowed Fahey to remain free pending sentencing on the condition that he follow the order.

The case has turned into something of a fight-the-system cause celebre with more than 29,000 fans of a "Save Phonehenge West" Facebook page.

"He's like Simon Rodia, who built the Watts Towers. This is folk art," said Bill Guild, one of a handful of supporters who came to court Friday, referring to the Italian builder of the famed towers fashioned out of scrap materials in South Los Angeles. "It seems a bit punitive to me."

Fahey, wearing overalls and his long snow-white hair in a ponytail, told the court he has not had enough time to tear down the buildings after his conviction last month on a dozen misdemeanor building code violations.

People living in three of the buildings were told to move out as the judge ordered, he said, but "they come back when I'm asleep. What can I do? They have nowhere to go."

Orrin Hatch, Man of the Sewer

July 8, 2011
Washington, D.C.

Senator Orrin Hatch, a multi-millionaire doctrinaire pig from Utah, reared up on his porker hind legs in the U.S. Senate today and oinked that the poor should make more sacrifices than the rich to deal with the looming fiscal crisis caused by him and his Repubnican colleagues and the rich bankers and brokers they idolize.

Stating, in an act of willful mentition, that the rich are taxed too much and can barely afford to keep several houses staffed with servants at today's tax rates, further declared that the rich, such as himself, should have their taxes cut more, maybe eliminated altogether, and that more taxes should be shifted to the poor while cutting social programs that benefit the poor, handicapped, and other individuals with severe medical needs, to help reduce the national debt.

Hatch, who suffers from numerous diseases of the mind, has been declared mentally incompetent by an ad hoc committee of psychiatrists and psychologists who have examined his political record and public utterances over the past 25 years. They believe he has been mentally incompetent since birth.

Hatch's views are totally ignored by fellow Senators and he only continues as a Senator because his Utah constituents also are mentally incompetent. The only thing that can be done is to wait for him to die.