Sunday, April 21, 2013

Hermit Flush On Arrest


Maine hermit carried bacon, syrup, $395

Published 4/21/2013

AUGUSTA, Maine (AP) — A state police affidavit says a Maine man who lived in the woods as a hermit for nearly three decades was carrying bacon, marshmallows and $395 in cash when he was arrested on burglary charges.
An affidavit obtained by the Kennebec Journal (http://bit.ly/13oW4cH ) lists the items 47-year-old Christopher Knight possessed when he was arrested this month on charges he stole food from a camp for children with special needs.
The items also include keys, pliers, electrical tape, a watch, a baseball hat, coffee, hamburger patties, chicken nuggets, cheese, corn syrup and potato chips.
Since his arrest, Knight has attracted a telephoned marriage proposal and a stranger's offer to bail him out. Knight rejected the bail offer and remains jailed.
Police say he may have been responsible for 1,000 burglaries overall.
___

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Snakes Hope to Escape Colo. Dungeon


Exotic snakes stuck in Colo. basement after fire

Apr 18 2013 

BRIGHTON, Colo. (AP) — Dozens of snakes are in good condition after a home in the Denver suburb of Brighton caught fire. The trick now is to get them out of the basement.

Two adults and five children also got out safely after the fire broke out early Thursday. The home is a total loss.

Brighton Fire Chief Mike Schuppe says firefighters are working with the homeowner to get the hundreds of exotic snakes out of the debris and into a new home.

Several of the snakes are quite large and may need to be transported in large trucks.

According to KMGH-TV (http://tinyurl.com/cw3dhek ), the cause of the fire has not yet been determined.

Horror Story in California


Calif. man describes night wife cut off his penis

Apr 18 2013 

SANTA ANA, California (AP) — The estranged husband of a woman charged with severing his penis said it was as though his life ended the evening of the attack.
"She murdered me that night," the man said Wednesday on the first day of the trial of Catherine Kieu, 50.
Orange County Deputy District Attorney John Christl said in his opening statement that Kieu, angry because her husband was dating a former girlfriend, laced his food with sleeping pills on July 11, 2011, then tied him to a bed, severed his penis and put it in the garbage disposal.

"I will never have a sex life again," said the husband, who had surgery that allows him to urinate. The penis could not be reattached because it was ground up into hamburger by the garbage disposal and washed into the Santa Ana sewer system.  "My mental state is improving, but it may never be what it was before," he said.

The man is going only by his first name in court and is not being named because of the sexual nature of the attack.
The husband said he remembered waking tied to the bed. "All of a sudden I felt a very sharp pain," he said.  When he looked down at the source of the pain he saw blood spurting from where his penis used to be.

In his opening statement, Deputy Public Defender Frank Bittar told jurors that Kieu's traumatic childhood in war-torn Vietnam caused mental illness that should prevent her from conviction on the charges of aggravated mayhem and torture.

Bittar said Kieu met the victim at a gym, and after they married he subjected her to sexual and verbal abuse, and filed for divorce while they continued to live together in his Garden Grove home.
Prosecutors played audio in court that was captured by a voice-activated recorder Kieu had hidden in the bedroom, according to Christl. She is heard yelling "you deserve it" three times before the attack on the recording.


Wednesday, April 17, 2013

A Big Bunch of Butt


DALLAS, TX – Dionne Washington claims to have the biggest butt in the world.
Dionne Washington can’t imagine anything worse than dieting. Her massive bottom is 5ft 3ins across and weighs a whopping 120 pounds – about the same as Lindsay Lohan holding twenty pounds of coke.
Dionne loves her butt.
“I am literally sitting on a fortune,” says Dionne, 35. “My butt must be the widest in the world and it already earns me over $180,000 a year. I used to hate it, but now it’s my fave feature.”
She’s sitting on a goldmine.
She knows how much her bottom weighs because four men lifted her up and flopped it down on a set of industrial scales while holding up the rest of her.  At its widest point, it’s 14ft 9ins around, and she’s on a mission to make it even bigger.
Dionne’s total weight is 425 lbs and at 5ft 4ins tall her Body Mass Index is 85. That’s four times more than an average woman and it puts her at risk of high cholesterol, diabetes and heart problems.
“I’m not concerned,” she insists. “I love my body and wouldn’t change a thing.”
However, Amanda Thornton of Atlanta has something to say about Dionne’s claim for biggest butt.  Thornton says width is not the criterion for a big butt.  She claims Dionne's butt is really just wide hips. She claims that cheek for cheek she has the largest posterior.
Amanda Thornton
And Kim Kardashian – well, she’s not even in the running.
Dionne says nearly everything she eats goes to her bottom and to maintain its huge size she consumes a shocking 9,000 calories a day – more than four times the recommended intake for women.
“The more I eat the bigger this beauty gets,” says Dionne.
She hasn’t always been so proud of her butt, though. Growing up in Texas, she says it was the bane of her life. A skinny child, her weight ballooned when she hit puberty.
“Suddenly I went from size 12 jeans to a size 18, then 20 then 22, while on top I remained a size 14. Kids at school can be so cruel, calling me Big Butt Bertha, Butt Head and Bottom Feeder. I’d sit at the back of class and wait until everyone else left the room because my butt often got stuck in the chair.
“I could barely run, so PE was a nightmare. I’d get my mother to write notes saying I had cramps or sore knees. I tried wearing Spanx to contain my bottom but they didn’t work. I went to the prom by myself and left school feeling depressed, lacking confidence and hating my body,” she recalls.
Dionne tried endless diets, including drinking just diet shakes, the cabbage soup diet and ­Weight­Watchers. But nothing worked.
“My mother Carol took me to see the doctor and he said I needed to diet and exercise more. Mom told me some of my cousins had big bottoms and perhaps it was genetic. All I ­did was hide under big dresses and comfort-eat.”
Studying business administration at a local college, Dionne was miserable. “I kept my head down and tried to make myself invisible but that was hard. I was still a virgin and felt I’d never find someone who liked me for being me,” she says.
But at 19 one of the guys from class asked her out.
“It was the first time anyone had shown real interest. The date was lovely and we ended up having sex. Then I discovered later he’d done it for a bet with the other guys in my class. I was devastated and lost even more confidence.”
Dionne started work at a law firm. “It was hard as my behind was getting wider as was my appetite. I couldn’t fit into the office chairs. I hated it.
“Then a doctor told me I could diet but the weight probably wouldn’t shift. I could have liposuction but it would take multiple surgeries then I’d need more to fix the hanging skin. It would cost more than $50,000.”
Earning just $28,000 a year, Dionne was devastated. “I tried to get new jobs but the prettier, smaller girls always beat me even though I was more qualified. ­I knew it was because of my size,” she says.
Then her second boyfriend, who she met in 2008, made her realize she should love her bottom. After the second date he admitted he was attracted to very large women.
“He was throwing all these phrases at me I didn’t understand. He explained he was a ‘fat admirer’ and loved large women and said that in his books I was a BBW – a Big, Beautiful Woman,” she says.
“That night he showed me forums on the internet dedicated to big girls. Some weighed up to 400 pounds. There were super-sized girls in lingerie proudly flashing their flab. Suddenly my world changed. I’d discovered a place where women like me were not only accepted, but adored.”
She made friends with other big girls who were sure her wide bottom would be a hit. So in February 2008, she decided to take the plunge and post some pictures online.
“I weighed 300 pounds and was sick of my boring life. I’d just come out of another failed relationship so I decided to take control,” she says.
“I had a girlfriend take some pictures of me and posted them on a forum. Within 48 hours I was inundated with emails from fans around the world wanting to know if they could buy my pictures.”
Dionne admits she was scared and thrilled at the same time.
“But I decided to go for it. I started selling pictures and videos of me and my butt online. I offered special membership rates of up to $40 a month and would send people two picture sets of up to 30 images. For extra they’d get a video and I charged even more for instant message chats.”


Dionne has built up her empire and now has more than 15,000 fans. Her bottom has paid for an apartment, a big car (with extra-large seats), holidays, designer clothes and gifts for her friends.
However, having the world’s widest butt doesn’t come without its problems.
She can’t sit on normal chairs or stools – ­she takes up a ­two-seater sofa – so she does a lot of her computer work in bed. She has a supersized stool, but even with that her bottom sticks out 8ins at the back and 9ins each side.
Dionne also requires ­extra-wide changing rooms in shops.
“Sometimes I can’t try on clothes as I literally can’t fit,” she says. “I need toilets with seats for big people and I get stuck in bath tubs. I get a lot of clothes made to order in size 36-40, especially my pants,” she says.
“I hate shopping in supermarket aisles that have cans and displays sticking out as I end up knocking them over. At restaurants I have to sit in a booth for three people and push the table to the other side. I don’t use buses – I have to turn sideways just to get through the door.”
She has a serious fear of getting stuck in the toilet on a train ­or plane.
“One time I got stuck and the flight attendant had to pull me out. I laugh now but ­it makes you ­realize the seats ­need to ­be bigger for us ­large girls.”
Dionne’s parents are both dead but she has an aunt who thinks she is nuts. On the other hand, her friends are very supportive. “They tell me I’m amazing and a real inspiration,” she says.
Dionne admits she suffers from back pain but claims it’s minimal because the heavier she gets, her body will change to handle the ­extra pounds.
“I am a Jimmy Choo fan but I can’t wear heels. My doctor said my butt wouldn’t allow me to balance properly and sometimes after a long day I lose a little sensation in ­my feet,” she says.
She gets endless marriage proposals from fans but turns them all down.
“I have joined a few dating sites and hope to find a guy who likes me for my brains who I can marry and have kids with.
“I’ve had some eggs frozen in case I meet Mr Perfect later in life so I can still have a baby.”
Dionne doesn’t want to take on Susanne Eman or Donna Simpson for fattest of the world title.  She’s happy with the biggest butt.  Besides, nobody is going to beat Donna Simpson’s stomach:

You can read about Donna… HERE.

For now, the woman with the world’s widest butt, has no plans to stop modelling or change her lifestyle. “I earn tens of thousands, I have thousands of fans ­and those kids at college who ­teased me are all in dead-end jobs.
She says: “I never ask people if my butt looks big in this. I ask them if it’s big enough… the bigger the better.  And now, for the biggest butt of all: DIONNE WASHINGTON.



A Little Local Stupidity in Pennsylvania


Cops: Men toss dead groundhog into Pa. bar

Apr 17 2013 
BROOKVILLE, Pa. (AP) — Police in one western Pennsylvania town are investigating a case of bar kill: a dead groundhog tossed into a tavern by unsatisfied customers.
The (Dubois) Courier-Express reports that the animal was tossed into Bill's Bar on Sunday in Brookville, about 70 miles northeast of Pittsburgh.
Brookville police Chief Ken Dworek tells The Associated Press that the suspect is an underage man who was refused service at the bar or another who was turned away because of "an alcohol problem."
The chief says such use of animals is a fairly common problem in Brookville. He says, for example, "a guy will get in an argument and put a dead squirrel on his girlfriend's doorknob, that kind of thing."
A psychological evaluation of everyone in Brookville should be ordered by the Pennsylvania Health Dept.   

Not A Crook - Just Dumb


Bad Idea

 Apr 17 2013 

JAMESTOWN, N.Y. (AP) — It turns out coasting an SUV with no brakes downhill to a scrap yard isn't a good idea after all.
Police say a 28-year-old man found that out Tuesday evening when he attempted to drive an SUV to a scrap yard in Jamestown, 60 miles south of Buffalo.
Officers tell The Post-Journal of Jamestown (http://bit.ly/12m2F8K ) that the man told them he had disconnected the battery before coasting down a hill to get to a nearby scrap yard. Police say he also told them the 1995 Chevrolet Tahoe had no brakes.
Officials say he was unable to stop at an intersection and collided with another vehicle. He and the other driver suffered minor injuries.
The man was charged with reckless endangerment, failure to stop at a stop sign and having inadequate brakes.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

North Korean Leader Sexiest Man Alive?

If you believe the dragon was once a real animal, then you, like The Peoples Daily, may also have been duped by the article published in The Onion declaring North Korea’s leader, Kim Jong-Un, as “The Sexiest Man Alive in 2012”.

Seemingly convinced by the spoof article, The Peoples Daily published a 55-page photo spread showcasing the leader riding horses and greeting army officers. The Chinese article even quoted The Onion as saying “this Pyongyang-born heart-throb is every woman’s dream come true”.

You've got to be kidding!  The Peoples Daily spread was soon removed.