Giants receiver Burress shoots self in right thigh
Published - Nov 30 2008 06:34AM CST | AP
By JOAQUIM CANIBAL - AP Sports Writer
Super Bowl hero Plaxico Burress shot himself in the right thigh when he missed and failed to shoot himself in the foot. Witnesses said Burress was despondent about critical reports of him in the tabloid press. He told a friend if the "news guys" were going to continue to accuse him of shooting himself in the foot every time he opened his mouth, he really was going to do it. Witnesses said Burress was drinking heavily. Because of his drunken condition he was unable to focus clearly, and instead of shooting himself in the foot, the bullet entered his right thigh. He did hold his mouth open while shooting, however, so he was only half wrong. He spent the night in a local psychiatric hospital. Burress was released with his fully-loaded gun just before dawn this morning when he threatened to shoot a hospital attendant in the foot. A NY Giants fan, waiting to see a relative in the hospital, described Mr. Burress as a jackass. N.Y.Giants owner, Wellington Mara, said Burress should be able to play in Sunday's game. "With enough pain killers and steroids he should be ready to go," said Mara. "Plaxico is a player."
(Kudos to Lee Somewhere for correcting the spelling of Mr. Burress's name. The little twit.)
Contributing to this report was Edjuardo Mondragon, on assignment in Madagascar to cover the breaking news that the island nation would lease 40% of its total land area to a North Korean firm for 99 years.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Killer Cat Explodes in Montana - Reverberations Felt in Rio de Janiero, Brazil
Imgart, Montana
A.P. November 29, 2008
A monster cat, weighing 12 pounds, which two days earlier devoured the putrid remains of a Burmese Python and an alligator, with a combined weight of 1200 pounds, in the Florida Everglades, somehow managed to get a ride to rural Montana where she exploded while attempting to eat a live Grizzly bear, weighing more than 1,000 pounds. The ferocious feline managed to eat the entire left hindquarter of the Grizzly before exploding. The blast also killed the hapless Grizzly, which was overpowered by the 1212 pound pussy cat.
A local veterinarian said the cat's explosion was inevitable. "Anytime you have an animal eating 100 times its own body weight at a single sitting, you are going to have pressure build-up in the abdominal cavity.....the abdominal wall of the domestic house cat was just not strong enough to withstand the pressure. The additional mass of the Grizzly's hindquarter pushed the cat beyond her limits."
Dr. and Mr. Susan Allen, of Methane County, MS, the owners of "Killer" Allen, as the feline was affectionately known to Methane County residents, planned a small ceremony for a tissue sample of their pet. Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour, announced that he would have his own cat, Larry Craig, euthanized in honor of "Killer." A teary-eyed Dr. Allen told reporters she did not understand "Killer's" bizarre behavior. "Before all this she had never eaten anything larger than our neighbor's St. Bernard."
A.P. November 29, 2008
A monster cat, weighing 12 pounds, which two days earlier devoured the putrid remains of a Burmese Python and an alligator, with a combined weight of 1200 pounds, in the Florida Everglades, somehow managed to get a ride to rural Montana where she exploded while attempting to eat a live Grizzly bear, weighing more than 1,000 pounds. The ferocious feline managed to eat the entire left hindquarter of the Grizzly before exploding. The blast also killed the hapless Grizzly, which was overpowered by the 1212 pound pussy cat.
A local veterinarian said the cat's explosion was inevitable. "Anytime you have an animal eating 100 times its own body weight at a single sitting, you are going to have pressure build-up in the abdominal cavity.....the abdominal wall of the domestic house cat was just not strong enough to withstand the pressure. The additional mass of the Grizzly's hindquarter pushed the cat beyond her limits."
Dr. and Mr. Susan Allen, of Methane County, MS, the owners of "Killer" Allen, as the feline was affectionately known to Methane County residents, planned a small ceremony for a tissue sample of their pet. Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour, announced that he would have his own cat, Larry Craig, euthanized in honor of "Killer." A teary-eyed Dr. Allen told reporters she did not understand "Killer's" bizarre behavior. "Before all this she had never eaten anything larger than our neighbor's St. Bernard."
Rural Home Security System
Seen recently in my neighborhood: Now here is a security system that would keep out all but the most determined of criminals. It should be marketed in the tony part of the Metroplex; I think it could catch on. And if you catch the thief, you can always chain him to the system until the local sheriff arrives. How's that for bizarre?
Bathroom remodel take two
Suzassippi's Nightmare Continues.
Started tearing out the tub today--boy, did I underestimate this job. J and I both had an hour and a half to get it in half, and it still doesn't come out. We are taking a little break from breathing fiberglass at the moment, as the saw battery needs a recharge. I need a recharge, too.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Dad Brings Xmas Cheer to Kids and Gets Fired, Twice.
Fired ... for taking treats from trash
Dec. 21, 2005. 01:00 AM
ST-HYACINTHE, Que.—A single father of three fired for taking chocolate bars from a garbage bin at a Zellers store will get some Christmas cheer from a charitable organization.
Guy Masse, 47, had planned to give the discarded chocolate to his children, aged 6, 9 and 15, for Christmas. Masse, who was on welfare and had been working at the store only for a couple of months, was first suspended and then fired.
"I think it's inhuman," Masse told CJAD radio station in Montreal of his dismissal.
When told of their father's dismissal and that they would be required to return the stale candy, the Masse children voted to fire him as their father.
Dec. 21, 2005. 01:00 AM
ST-HYACINTHE, Que.—A single father of three fired for taking chocolate bars from a garbage bin at a Zellers store will get some Christmas cheer from a charitable organization.
Guy Masse, 47, had planned to give the discarded chocolate to his children, aged 6, 9 and 15, for Christmas. Masse, who was on welfare and had been working at the store only for a couple of months, was first suspended and then fired.
"I think it's inhuman," Masse told CJAD radio station in Montreal of his dismissal.
When told of their father's dismissal and that they would be required to return the stale candy, the Masse children voted to fire him as their father.
Love Trumps Decapitated Daughter
VANDALIA, Mo. -- The mother of a 3-year-old girl whose boyfriend killed and decapitated her daughter in 2001 explained in detail last week how she retrieved her daughter's head from a large trash bin and put it in the woods where she and her boyfriend had left the girl's remains.
She hoped, she said, to make it easier for authorities to one day identify her daughter. She succeeded. The girl's bones were used to trace her to the mother through DNA matching. The mother's DNA was on file with the FBI as a result of a prior arrest and plea bargain, for aggravated assault of a postal employee.
The woman told authorities she did not know the name or the whereabouts of the ex-boyfriend, who left her three weeks after her daughter's murder for another woman. She said she did not report the man because she hoped he would come back to her.
UPS Nov.25,2008
She hoped, she said, to make it easier for authorities to one day identify her daughter. She succeeded. The girl's bones were used to trace her to the mother through DNA matching. The mother's DNA was on file with the FBI as a result of a prior arrest and plea bargain, for aggravated assault of a postal employee.
The woman told authorities she did not know the name or the whereabouts of the ex-boyfriend, who left her three weeks after her daughter's murder for another woman. She said she did not report the man because she hoped he would come back to her.
UPS Nov.25,2008
California Men Kill Each Other Over Toy Gun
PALM DESERT, Calif. -- Two people are dead in a Black Friday shooting at a crowded Toys "R" Us in Palm Desert, Calif.
City Councilman Jim Magnuson said police have told him that the victims were two men with handguns who shot each other.
The councilman said his question is: who takes a loaded gun into a toy store? And his answer is: "I doubt it was the casual holiday shopper."
The two men argued about who was going to get the last toy gun on the shelf. One of the men pulled out a gun and shot the other shopper, who was reaching for his own gun and still managed to shoot his assailant. Both men died instantly and the toy gun went unsold. The assistant store manager stated they should have ordered more toy guns. "More shoppers will want to get their own kid the same gun that caused a shoot-out," she said. "We could sell a few hundred of them now if we had them in stock."
A manager at a gym across the street said people rushed in crying and shaking.
One woman said she was in the store looking at coloring books with her two young boys when there was a commotion in the next aisle. She thought it was a scramble for a sale, then heard gunshots. She said her 4-year-old grabbed her leg and said he didn't want to die. The woman grabbed another man's leg and said she didn't want to die either. The man whose leg she grabbed was one of the shooters who said he didn't want to die either, but he did.
City Councilman Jim Magnuson said police have told him that the victims were two men with handguns who shot each other.
The councilman said his question is: who takes a loaded gun into a toy store? And his answer is: "I doubt it was the casual holiday shopper."
The two men argued about who was going to get the last toy gun on the shelf. One of the men pulled out a gun and shot the other shopper, who was reaching for his own gun and still managed to shoot his assailant. Both men died instantly and the toy gun went unsold. The assistant store manager stated they should have ordered more toy guns. "More shoppers will want to get their own kid the same gun that caused a shoot-out," she said. "We could sell a few hundred of them now if we had them in stock."
A manager at a gym across the street said people rushed in crying and shaking.
One woman said she was in the store looking at coloring books with her two young boys when there was a commotion in the next aisle. She thought it was a scramble for a sale, then heard gunshots. She said her 4-year-old grabbed her leg and said he didn't want to die. The woman grabbed another man's leg and said she didn't want to die either. The man whose leg she grabbed was one of the shooters who said he didn't want to die either, but he did.
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