Maine Man Likes His Crap Straight, No Processing, No Additives

Outhouse Aficionado In Deep Shit, again.
Maine man busted for climbing into national forest crapper


From the Smoking Gun: The Crapper Guy>>>>>

SEPTEMBER 1--For the second time, a Maine man has been arrested for climbing down into the waste vault below an outhouse in a national park. Gary Moody, 49, is facing federal charges for a Memorial Day incident at a campground in the White Mountain National Forest, where he was first arrested in 2005 after being spotted in the waste vault beneath a women's toilet (at the time Moody claimed he dropped his wedding ring down the toilet and climbed in to the vault to retrieve it).

According to an affidavit filed last week in U.S. District Court in Portland, a nine-year-old boy waiting to use the bathroom noticed that "the toilet had been pulled out and was lying on the floor. At that point a man popped out of the hole leading to the waste vault." After a few minutes, a "completely wet" man exited the restroom and told the boy, "Man, sorry about that, I was getting my shirt."

After learning of the bizarre incident, federal investigators immediately suspected Moody had been in the vault "based on the extremely rare nature of this type of activity." When interviewed at his home, Moody admitted climbing into the vault, claiming that his shirt had fallen into the waste chamber. Moody claimed that he had removed his shirt "and placed it on the seat of the outhouse because he thinks that outhouse seats are dirty." When a federal agent commented that it did not make sense to "climb into an outhouse pit if he didn't like to even sit on outhouse seats," Moody fell silent.

When asked if he had "ever had counseling because of his outhouse problem," Moody said no, adding that he had "anger toward society because of how he was treated after he was found in the pit of a National Forest outhouse in 2005." Pictured above in a mug shot taken after that bust, Moody--now facing three misdemeanors--is due in federal court on September 16 for an initial appearance.

Mam Claims to Be Fastest Guitarist in the World

World Record Guitar Speed 2008 Tiago Della Vega - Funny blooper videos are here

Sep 5 2009

Tiago Della Vega demonstrates his incredible guitar speed while playing Flight of the Bumblebee. His assistant, who appears to have no valid reason for being there, other that to be in the video, fumbles with papers and watches.

Cops Exercise Their Muscle in Arkansas

Cops Shoot Fire Chief in Courtroom Scuffle After His Speed Trap Complaints


By Debra Cassens Weiss

A fire chief who went to court to complain about a speed trap in Jericho, Ark., ended up with a bullet in his hip after he got in a scuffle with police at the hearing and one of them fired his gun.

The fight broke out during Fire Chief Don Payne’s second court appearance over traffic tickets in one day, the Associated Press reports. Earlier in the day, Payne failed to get a traffic ticket dismissed. When police issued a new ticket to either Payne or his son, the fire chief returned to court to protest. The scuffle broke out when an argument escalated between Payne and the seven police officers who attended the hearing. Payne was shot from behind.

Jericho residents told AP their town is known for the large number of tickets given to motorists on the main highway there. But the shooting has changed the status quo.

“Now the police chief has disbanded his force ‘until things calm down,’ a judge has voided all outstanding police-issued citations and sheriff's deputies are asking where all the money from the tickets went. With 174 residents, the city can keep seven police officers on its rolls but missed payments on police and fire department vehicles and saw its last business close its doors a few weeks ago.”

Prosecutor Lindsey Fairley told AP he doesn’t plan to file any felony charges against the officer, who was not identified, or Payne. He said he didn't remember the name of the officer who fired the shot.

Man Charges Woman With Sexual Assauilt

Calif. man says he was held in a sexual embrace despite his entreaties to be released.

Sep. 4, 2009
Bakersfield, CA

A 22-year-old California man filed charges with police claiming he was having sex with a woman who refused to release him from her embrace.

On the police incident report the man said the woman had her legs wrapped tightly around him and was holding his head by his ears. He said the woman is a professional dancer and has very powerful legs.

What began as consensual sex between the pair turned into what the man described as female on male rape. He tried to say no, but the woman refused and only locked her legs more tightly and pulled his ears harder, causing him excruciating pain.

The 42-year-old woman told police the man said he was interested in rough sex. When he began to scream she thought he was role playing and squeezed and pulled his ears even harder. But she insisted it was all consensual.

Police have not decided whether to file charges, saying it would be very difficult to obtain an indictment. Courtroom pros said the man would not make a very sympathetic witness in front of a grand jury given the totality of the facts.

Oops, Sorry About That. Glad No One Was Hurt.

Pa. man fires cannon, blasts neighbor's house

Sep 04 2009


A Pennsylvania history buff who recreates firearms from old wars accidentally fired a 2-pound cannonball through the wall of his neighbor's home.

Fifty-four-year-old William Maser fired a cannonball Wednesday evening outside his home in Georges Township that ricocheted and hit a house 400 yards away.

The cannonball, about two inches in diameter, smashed through a window and a wall before landing in a closet. Authorities say nobody was hurt.

State police charged Maser with reckless endangerment, criminal mischief and disorderly conduct.

No one answered the phone Friday at Maser's home. He tells WPXI-TV recreating 19th century cannons is a longtime hobby. He says he is sorry and he will stop shooting them on his property, about 35 miles southeast of Pittsburgh.

His neighbor wants to know what he's going to do about the hole in his house.

"Friendly" Florida Bank of America Denies Service to Man With No Arms

TAMPA, Fla. -- A man born without arms is upset that a bank would not allow him to cash a check without having a thumbprint.

Steve Valdez said a Bank of America branch in downtown Tampa would not allow him to cash a check from his wife last week. The bank said since he didn't have an account, he would need to provide a thumbprint.

Valdez has prosthetic arms and is unable to be fingerprinted. He said he presented two forms of ID but was still denied.

He said a bank manager told him he could either come back to the bank with his wife or open an account himself.

Long Distance Back Scratchers vs. Average Overgrown Toe Nails

Woman says life easier after breaking long nails.



Homeless man thinks life would be easier with no feet.





Sep 03 2009


(AP)

This undated image provided by the Guiness World Records Book launch shows Lee Redmond, right, former record holder for longest fingernails (28-ft 4-in), posing with Melvin Booth, the male owner of the longest finger nails (29-ft 8-in). This photo was taken just a few months prior to Redmond's accident which resulted in the loss of her fingernails, for the 2010 Edition of Guinness World Records.

A Salt Lake City woman who held a Guinness World Record for her long fingernails before they broke off in a car crash says it was the most dramatic event of her life. But Lee Redmond, who lost the fingernails in February, says it's now much easier to do things and her hands seem to fly with the weight of the nails gone.

The 68-year-old won't grow her nails out again, saying it took 30 years the first time and she may not live for another 30.

Redmond hadn't cut her nails since 1979 and entered the Guinness World Records book in 2002 for longest fingernails on a woman.

The Guinness Web site says her nails measured a total of more than 28 feet long in 2008, with the longest nail on her right thumb at 2 feet, 11 inches.

The homeless man with the overgrown toenails doesn't seek any world or other records. He wants a good pair of toenail clippers and a warm place to sleep in the winter.

The photo of one of his feet was taken by a fellow homeless friend who mistakenly believed it would make a good example for commercials advertising toe nail clippers and for dermatologists. Several Los Angeles dermatologists and pedicurists said they would refuse to treat the homeless man because he would drive away other patients.