Roman Centurions Battle Police At Colosseum

Italian Wannabe Centurions Rebuffed by Cops



Italian men dressed as Roman centurions scuffled with police today outside Rome's Colosseum during a protest over the right to pose for photos with tourists for money.

A British newspaper's Rome correspondent says one man was carried off on a stretcher as about 60 centurions, some waving fake swords, and their supporters blocked tourists from entering the ancient Colosseum.

The Guardian says a crackdown on the centurions followed claims that they were selling fake tours to tourists and pressuring them to hand over a lot of money for a photograph. The newspaper says 30 were arrested last August.

A spokesman for the centurions says a group has met with local authorities and they would like to arrange to get licenses and IDs.

Sweetheart Deal For Ex-Colorado Sheriff

Former Colorado sheriff once named national "Sheriff of the Year" pleads guilty to charges of trading meth for sex and is sentenced to 38 days in jail.

Rabid Pit Bull Terrier Seizes Stage And Delivers Message At Texas Tea Party Event

JEFFERSON CITY, TX - A rabid Pit Bull Terrier tore loose from his owner's grasp and jumped on stage at a Tea Party rally in Texas on Labor Day. He barked and groweled at the crowd for nearly twenty minutes before attendees and organizers realized he was not a candidate.

The dog, later identified by its owner as "Mister Vicious," held the crowd spellbound as he barked, growled, and frothed at the mouth, eventually receiving a standing ovation for his performance.

Gwendolene Beehive, 42, a Tea Party supporter from Jefferson City, was one of the dozens on hand who were convinced that the Pit Bull was an actual Tea Party candidate until he was outed as a dog.

"I still liked what he had to say," she said. "He reminded me of Glenn Beck, only more vicious."

The Pit Bull's canine identity finally became clear when he lunged at a man in the front row and ripped a hamburger from his right hand, taking two of the man's fingers with it.

While the discovery that Mister Vicious was not a Tea Party candidate disappointed many in attendance, Ms.Beehive held out hope that, dog or no, he might consider running for office at some point.

"I liked the way he bit off that guy's fingers and the way he did his business in the middle of the stage," she said. "We need more of that in Washington. Really vicious shit," she said.

Mr. Vicious' owner told reporters he had been approached by several large U.S. corporations who want to offer Mr. Vicious the position of CEO of their companies. They like Mr. Vicious' approach to unappreciative employees and feel he could boost productivity by biting lazy employees in the butt. The really unproductive ones might get individual, special attention from the CEO.

Quick, Catch That Falling Kid

Toddler falls out of window; mother jumps after

Thursday, July 14, 2011


A 2-year-old boy and his mother were hurt after he fell out a 5th floor window Thursday, and she jumped out trying to catch him. The mother apparently thought she would fall faster because of her greater weight and be waiting when the toddler landed.

Instead, the mom sustained a possible broken ankle when she landed and the toddler a head injury. He and mom were rushed to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle for treatment; the mom for a psychiatric evaluation.

Pissed Off Hawk Attacks Bicyclists

Bicyclists getting smacked by angry bird

Jul 02 2011

PENDLETON, Ore. — Bicyclists in eastern Oregon say they're getting whacked on the head by an angry bird.

Riders in Pendleton, Ore., told the East Oregonian that a male hawk is dive-bombing them because they're too close to a nest he's guarding in an old cottonwood tree.

Bicyclist Mack Temple says the bird came in from behind like a fighter plane and whacked his helmet. Another rider, Charlie Newhouse, says the attack on his helmet was "like getting hit with a baseball bat." He says the talons went in through the helmet.

Bird-watchers say the large bird is a Swainson's hawk. The riders say he's been vigilant for a few nesting seasons, but hasn't been as aggressive as this year.

From the looks and size of this hawk the bicyclists would be well advised to select another route for the time being.

Bird-watchers say the hawk will ease up once his brood learns to fly.

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Law Breaking Skanky Colorado Trooper Rebuffed

Man charged for giving state trooper the finger has charge dropped

May 28 2011

DENVER — A harassment charge has been dropped in the case of a 35-year-old Colorado man who faced prosecution for displaying his middle finger to a Colorado State Patrol trooper.

The State Patrol said in a statement late Friday that it asked that the case be dropped.

The American Civil Liberties Union had argued that while the gesture may be have been rude, it amounted to protected free speech.

According to the ACLU, Shane Boor was driving to work in April when he saw a trooper pull over a car. As Boor passed by, he extended his middle finger in the trooper's direction.

Boor was later stopped and received a criminal summons ordering him to appear in court to answer a criminal charge of harassment, which carries a possible six-month jail term.

The cop was upset because someone gave him the finger and wanted to punish him criminally and violate the man's right to free speech.

In the accompanying photo a grandmother shoots the bird to a roomful of cops. She is merely exercising her 1st Amendment right to freedom of speech and these cops know it. The Colorado trooper was simply pissed off and wanted to use his authority to punish the man.

Exploding Chinese Watermelons

Fields of watermelon burst in China farm fiasco

Published - May 17 2011 06:22PM CST

By ALEXA OLESEN - Associated Press
In this May 13, 2011 photo, a farmer shows a watermelon that burst in his rented greenhouse in Danyang city in eastern China's Jiangsu province....

In this May 13, 2011 photo, a farmer shows a watermelon that burst in his rented greenhouse in Danyang city in eastern China's Jiangsu province. Watermelons have been bursting by the score in eastern China after farmers gave them overdoses of growth chemicals during wet weather, according to state media reports, Tuesday, May 17, 2011. (AP Photo) CHINA OUT

BEIJING — Watermelons have been bursting by the score in eastern China after farmers gave them overdoses of growth chemicals during wet weather, creating what state media called fields of "land mines."

About 20 farmers around Danyang city in Jiangsu province were affected, losing up to 115 acres (45 hectares) of melon, China Central Television said in an investigative report.

Prices over the past year prompted many farmers to jump into the watermelon market. All of those with exploding melons apparently were first-time users of the growth accelerator forchlorfenuron, though it has been widely available for some time, CCTV said in the report broadcast Monday night.

Chinese regulations don't forbid the drug, and it is allowed in the U.S. on kiwi fruit and grapes. But the report underscores how farmers in China are abusing both legal and illegal chemicals, with many farms misusing pesticides and fertilizers.

Wang Liangju, a professor with College of Horticulture at Nanjing Agricultural University who has been to Danyang since the problems began to occur, said that forchlorfenuron is safe and effective when used properly.

He told The Associated Press that the drug had been used too late into the season, and that recent heavy rain also raised the risk of the fruit cracking open. But he said the variety of melon also played a role.

"If it had been used on very young fruit, it wouldn't be a problem," Wang said. "Another reason is that the melon they were planting is a thin-rind variety and these kind are actually nicknamed the 'exploding melon' because they tend to split."

Farmer Liu Mingsuo ended up with eight acres (three hectares) of ruined fruit and told CCTV that seeing his crop splitting open was like a knife cutting his heart.

"On May 7, I came out and counted 80 (burst watermelons) but by the afternoon it was 100," Liu said. "Two days later I didn't bother to count anymore."

Intact watermelons were being sold at a wholesale market in nearby Shanghai, the report said, but even those ones showed telltale signs of forchlorfenuron use: fibrous, misshapen fruit with mostly white instead of black seeds.

Trident Man Assaults Amateur Photographer

Meet Johnathan Washburn.

The 23-year-old Texan ssaulted a man who made the mistake of photographing the skateboarder Monday night on an Austin street.

An enraged Washburn clobbered the shutterbug in the head with his skateboard after the man refused to delete the image from his camera. The request was made through Timothy Beard, a 19-year-old Washburn pal who has been charged with stealing the man’s sunglasses.

Washburn, facing a felony charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, remains jailed in lieu of $12,000. Beard, hit with a felony theft rap, is also at the Travis County lockup, where he is being held on $7500 bond.

A local hair stylist, speaking on condition of anonymity out of fear of Washburn, estimated it would take Washburn up to 4 hours and 3 cans of hairspray to get ready to go out after arranging his "do."

California Man Uses Bunghole To Smuggle Contraband Into Jail

March 17, 2011
Man "Keystered" Cellphone, MP3 Player, Headphones, Cash, Pot Into California Jail

Sentenced and jailed Tuesday on a narcotics conviction, a California man smuggled a Kyocera cell phone, an MP3 player, ear bud headphones, marijuana, tobacco, and $140 in cash into a county lockup by hiding the contraband in his rectum, investigators allege.

The items were recovered when Lake County corrections officers strip searched Earl Lee Vogt and tossed his cell. The searches Wednesday evening were prompted when a jailer detected the smell of marijuana in the 29-year-old tattoo artist’s cell.

Vogt and his anus, gateway to his rectum, are pictured in the accompanying mug shots. (Yech) He was sentenced Tuesday to nearly four years in prison and immediately remanded to the custody of the sheriff’s department. Investigators believe that Vogt “keystered” the contraband to get it into the lockup, according to one official. While the cash was found in his cell, the other items were found inside a sock.

When questioned by a sheriff’s deputy who thought he was feeling discomfort, Vogt denied being in pain, though he noted, “My ass is bleeding.”

Vogt claimed that he had obtained the marijuana from another inmate in exchange for a second MP3 player he had smuggled into the northern California lockup. Jail officials doubted this assertion, for no apparently good reason since they found another MP-3 player jammed up his ass. With this guy it wouldn't be surprising to learn he had smuggled an I-Pad in via his rectum.

In light of the contraband seizure, Vogt was charged with a felony count of smuggling a controlled substance into prison and unauthorized possession of a wireless communication device, a misdemeanor. It is unclear how Vogt planned to recharge the phone, a Kyocera Metro. What was clear is that there was no after-ass market for the phone. Eweeeeh!

Lobbying The Hard Way

Dec. 23, 2010
Belgrade

Romanian lobbyist takes dramatic, futile action

A disgruntled state-employed electrician hurled himself from a balcony overlooking the chamber of the Romanian parliament. His 23 foot plunge was in protest of government economic policies that have cut wages, whilst raising taxes and curtailing government programs.

The man's injuries were not life threatening and had little effect on legislators, half of whom walked out of the chamber in protest of the other half.

The only evidence of the man's dive was a loud thud when he hit the floor.

Jobs of Minimal Wage Workers - Installment 1 in a 2 Part Series.

Man stable after being nearly buried alive and stuck 4 hours in cesspool


Dec. 9, 2009
Long Island, New York

A worker in an exclusive residential neighborhood on Long Island, New York, was trapped for four hours, up to his chest in sand and soil in a cesspool belonging to the owners of one of the local mansions, which once were the homes of the rich and famous in an area popularly known as the Gold Coast.

The worker, who is in stable condition in a local hospital, was rescued by dozens of rescue team members and the use of donated heavy equipment. The main thing holding up progress was the stench coming from the cesspool, which had been in use for at least 3 decades. That's a lot of "stuff" accumulated over a long time period. Many rescue workers became nauseated by the odor, while others wore special face masks to avoid the putrid stench.

Ironically, the trapped man was an undocumented worker who does not speak English. None of the mansion's owners or neighbors came out to find out what was going on in their meticulously manicured back yards. Servants were sent out now and again to monitor progress on the cesspool and to find out how long the work would be delayed. Another of the owners contacted the family insurance agent to find out if the owners would have any possible liability for the worker's injuries. Assured that the man's injuries would be covered by his employer's workers compensation policy, the family relaxed in the den for a spirited game of scrabble and dry martinis for the adults.

On arrival at the hospital the worker had to be deodorized before he could be treated. Two of the attending doctors and one nurse refused to treat the injured man until he could be bathed and cleaned up, citing union rules.

So it goes.

Man With Diaper Fetish Feigns Physical/Mental Disability - Hires Woman from Craig's List to Change His Diapers

No Charges Laid in Bizarre Craigslist Scam; Police Say No Laws Broken

Providentia

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

A Central Florida woman has been told by police that there is nothing they can do in a bizarre case involving a man who hired her through Craigslist. Janet Schulte said that she answered a Craigslist advertisement seeking someone to care for an adult with severe disabilities. The man placing the ad described the patient as his "brother with diminished mental capacity". Although she never met the brother who placed the ad, she carried out all caregiving duties (including bottle-feeding and changing diapers) on her charge and was paid 600 dollars a month. Despite speaking to the "brother" on the phone, he avoided any direct meeting.

It was only after three months that Schulte, who had become suspicious due to behavioural changes in her patient and delinquent payments, discovered that she had been the victim of a scam. The man for whom she had been caring was actually feigning mental impairments and had placed the ad himself. According to Schulte, the man never "broke character" and played his role well. Despite going to police, Schulte and her husband have been told that no laws have been broken since she was paid for her services.

Blab! Blab! Blab! Blab! Me, Me, Me, Me

This item had to be removed because another blog site claimed it held copyright to it because it was previously published there. While this editor did not obtain the story from the complaining blog, but from another source, our attorneys do not believe it constituted copyright violation. Nevertheless it was decided to remove the item to avoid all the hassle and wasted time arguing with the editor of another site who got his or her shorts or panties in a wad over a simple little story.

The facts in the story go something like this.

English is the second most spoken language in the world. It is a very rich language, with more than a million words. But its speakers are estimated to use no more than one per cent of these words.

About a third of English words are technical terms because English has become the most commonly used language among scientists and scholars of all types.

Some individuals talk a lot more than others, some speaking up to 50,000 words a day. But about 80% of that talk is called self-talk, which means people are talking to themselves.

The original story points out that English also is the most popular Internet language. We also learn that the longest word in the world is a scientific term that consists of 207,000 letters, which is why no one ever uses it in conversation, plus it requires about 80 regular letter sized pages to type it.

Now, wasn't that a big deal to get all exercised about and make threats, which is what the other blog editor or spokesperson did. Nothing on this blog is copyrighted, which is the way it ought to be. Copyright is just another legalized form of censorship.

Oh, by the way, the two illustrations were placed there by me and were not part of the original story, which was sort of drab.

The Editor.

Arm Wrestling Anyone?

Judge orders defendant's mouth taped shut
Apr 21 2009 07:00PM CST


An eastern Idaho judge who lost patience with the disruptive behavior of a defendant ordered court officials to tape the man's mouth shut with duct tape during a court hearing. The unusual move was ordered by 6th District Judge Peter D. McDermott during a probation violation hearing for Nicklas Frasure, 23.

Frasure was convicted of felony theft in 2008, but the judge retained jurisdiction for sentencing depending on Frasure's response to treatment. In October, Frasure was released from a state mental hospital in Blackfoot.

He is accused of violating his probation by not taking prescribed medication.

During the hearing, witnesses told the judge that Frasure's behavior had been strange and erratic since his release from the state hospital. They also said he has not been taking his medication and has been consuming alcohol, factors also contributing to mood and emotional swings.

Probation officer Julie Guiberson testified that Frasure is a threat to himself and others.

During Monday's hearing, Frasure interrupted the proceedings with repeated verbal outbursts and unusual behavior and ignored several orders from McDermott to restrain himself. After another series of outbursts, McDermott told bailiffs to silence Frasure.

The bailiffs then found a roll of duct tape, tore off a piece and put it over Frasure's mouth, according to the Idaho State Journal.

"He's obviously not mentally competent," Frasure's lawyer Kent Reynolds told the judge.

Earlier in the hearing, Reynolds had asked the judge to order a mental competency evaluation for Frasure.

McDermott said he would consider the request, but did not immediately rule on it. McDermott placed Frasure under the jurisdiction of the Idaho Department of Correction. He is being held in the Bannock County Jail awaiting transfer to a state facility. Officials, citing privacy rules, declined to say where he would be transferred.

An Associated Press call for comment, left with the Idaho Judicial Council, was not immediately returned Tuesday. The council investigates all complaints filed against Idaho judges.

The American Civil Liberties of Idaho refrained, for now, from commenting on McDermott's decision to silence Frasure.

"The ACLU of Idaho cannot comment on the specifics of this case," said Monica Hopkins, executive director. "However, on one hand judges have a right to keep order in their court and on the other the defendants have a right to assist in their own defense and be present at trial. Our hope is that judges employ the least restrictive manner of keeping order in their courts."

At the end of the hearing, the judge ordered bailiffs to remove the gag and said he hoped Frasure's condition would improve with being under state custody.

Frasure responded, "You want to arm wrestle?" as he was led out of the courtroom by bailiffs.

His Insanity Defense Failed? You Gotta Be Kidding.

Texas death row inmate Andre Thomas is shown in this undated handout file photo released Friday, Jan. 9, 2009 in Huntsville, Texas. Thomas, who has a history of mental problems is being treated at a prison psychiatric unit after authorities said he pulled out his only good eye and ate it. He similarly had plucked out his right eye before his trial in 2004. (AP Photo/Texas Department of Criminal Justice, FILE)

Just to make sure we're clear here: this dude viciously murdered his wife and two children, stabbing them and tearing their hearts out, ripped out both of his own eyes from their sockets and the jury found him sane. All Texans are a little crazy, but what do you have to do in Texas to be insane? The Court of Criminal Appeals judge, Cathy Cochran said he was "crazy" but not insane. Well isn't that a distinction without a difference, yer honor?

Another for the Dumb Crooks Collection

(Substitute Dumb Crook)

SCARSDALE, N.Y.(AP) Police in a New York City suburb say they arrested five teenagers in the beating and robbery of a 50-year-old man after they called the victim the next day to taunt him.

Police say the victim was waiting for a bus in Scarsdale last Tuesday night when a group of young men robbed and beat him. He suffered head and facial injuries and his briefcase was stolen.

Authorities say the teens called the man the next day to taunt him.

Police traced the call to a house in White Plains, where they found three young men and the victim's briefcase. They later arrested two other suspects. All five are charged with second-degree robbery.