Burger King Spring Break Brawl in Florida

How did you spend your spring break? Ideas from Florida.

March 15, 2011
Panama City, FL

MARCH 24--Meet Kimesa Smith, Burger "Queen"

The bikini-clad Alabama woman was arrested Saturday night on a misdemeanor battery charge after she had a violent meltdown over a Whopper Jr. and fries at an oceanfront Burger King in Panama City Beach, Florida.

As seen below, Smith’s antics were videotaped by a fellow diner who uploaded his video to the Internet (and, while filming the melee, exclaimed “This is the best spring break ever.”)

Smith, 31, argued with Burger King employees before jumping atop the front counter, where she swung at workers and threw a large plastic jug at them (the jug apparently was used to collect charitable donations).

Smith, a Montgomery, Alabama resident, also pulled the hair of a fast food worker and threw other items at employees. She was joined in these pursuits by several acquaintances, none of whom were charged.

According to a Panama City Beach Police Department report, Smith tried to pull away after being handcuffed. “Take your damn hands off me, you can’t touch me,” said Smith. While in custody, she “continued screaming and yelling” at a cop and a Burger King employee who identified her for officers.

In an interview, Smith said that the confrontation began after she complained to workers about the tardy delivery of the Whopper Jr. and french fries she had ordered. She recalled exclaiming loudly, “Damn, these folks are slow.”

After waiting 20 minutes for the items, Smith said she flung the bag of food at workers with whom she had quarreled. Smith also copped to, among other things, throwing another customer’s drink at workers, pulling the manager’s hair, and throwing the coin jug.

“We tore the Burger King up,” she remarked. “I don’t play no games.”

Describing herself as a “first-time spring breaker,” Smith, a mother of four, said she had traveled Friday to Florida with friends and three of her children, the youngest of which is two and has cerebral palsy. In anticipation of a night of drinking, Smith, pictured in the above mug shot, said she went to the Burger King to “get something in my stomach.”

After arriving at a police substation, Smith asked cops “where her children were at.” She then told officers “she had her 2 children with her” at the beach. But when an officer sought details about the children, Smith was uncooperative and “very vague.” Cops did not have enough information to report the children as missing.

A restaurant manager told TSG that the eatery suffered minor damage during the incident, but that no worker was injured. Smith, free on $500 bond, has a court appearance next Wednesday.

Arguing that Burger King employees bear some responsibility for the altercation, Smith said, “When I walked in they had no smiles on their faces. We weren’t treated fairly." Having herself previously worked at McDonald’s and Church’s Chicken, Smith added, “I know how to greet my customers.”

“If I knew what was gonna happen,” Smith said, “I would’ve gone to Taco Bell.” Burger King wishes she had, too.





Rather than simply getting drunk, smoking crack, flashing their boobs or taking off their clothes altogether on the beach or in public, this year's crop of spring breakers raised the bar for having fun. They decided to trash a Burger King fast food restaurant.

It is not clear exactly how or why the melee began or went so far out of control but it is clear what ended it: when the restaurant was totally trashed by an out of control gang of "entitled" students on spring break, out to raise hell instead of their grade point averages.

New Defense Strategy for Celebrities

For a song, Willie Nelson's pot case will be resolved
Take note, Lindsay Lohan...

March 24, 2011 3:48 PM
By Steve Butcher


SIERRA BLANCA The Hudspeth County Attorney is ready to make a plea deal with the Red Headed Stranger.

“I’m gonna let him plead, pay a small fine and he’s gotta sing “Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain” with his guitar right there in the courtroom,” County Attorney Kit Bramblett said this week. “You bet your ass I ain’t gonna be mean to Willie Nelson.”

Nelson was arrested Nov. 26 after a Border Patrol agent smelled pot wafting from Nelson’s tour bus at the Sierra Blanca checkpoint. A little more than six ounces was found on the bus. Nelson was arraigned and on the road again after paying a $2,500 bond.

Thousands of vehicles roll through two Border Patrol checkpoints in Hudspeth County every day and finding pot here and there is pretty common. Bramblett handles 10 or 12 personal use cases every month. The 6.24 ounces that was found when Willie was arrested is above the amount Bramblett can handle in his jurisdiction, but after the packaging was removed, that was no longer the case.

The fine will be $100 and court costs amount to $278. Bramblett said he’s in contact with Nelson’s lawyer. Next time the singer’s tour schedule brings the Honeysuckle Rose close to Sierra Blanca, Bramblett’s office will be notified and Willie will make a scheduled stop at the Hudspeth County courthouse.

“Willie Nelson is 77 years old, and I’m 78,” Bramblett said. “He’s been my favorite artist all my life. We all know he smokes a little pot.”

Posted by Clavin

Original Story: http://www.oaoa.com/sections/article/gallery/?pic=0&id=62359

Ground Control To Major Tom

Washington D.C. Airport tower silent as planes land

Alan Levin, USA TODAY

March 24, 2011

WASHINGTON — Federal aviation officials are investigating why an air-traffic supervisor at Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport failed to answer the radio and phone for at least 20 minutes early Wednesday while controllers at a nearby facility repeatedly called the tower and juggled flights heading to the airport.

Duh! He was drunk or asleep, that's why.


Pilots of two planes were unable to reach the air traffic controller Tuesday night at Washington's Reagan National Airport.

File photo by Julia Schmalz, USA TODAY

Two jets, American Airlines Flight 1012 from Dallas and United Airlines Flight 628T from Chicago, landed safely next to the silent tower shortly after midnight, according to the National Transportation Safety Board.

Neither the NTSB nor the Federal Aviation Administration, which oversees the nation's controllers, said Wednesday whether the supervisor on duty had fallen asleep, gotten locked out of the tower or suffered some other problem.

"The FAA is looking into staffing issues and whether existing procedures were followed appropriately," the FAA said in a statement.

Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood reacted by ordering that two controllers staff the Reagan National tower during the midnight shift. "It is not acceptable to have just one controller in the tower managing air traffic in this critical airspace," he said.

The incident comes as the FAA has received increased scrutiny over controller errors, which have risen as the agency has begun several programs to push for greater honesty.

If the tower controller is found to have been asleep, it could be the latest in a string of aviation accidents and incidents related to fatigue. The NTSB in 2007 urged the FAA to revamp its schedules for controllers because they often work grueling shifts.

Republican members of Congress, most of whom do not use commercial flights out of Reagan, have severely cut the budget of the agency responsible for staffing airport control towers. "Getting the deficit under control is the number one priority of the nation today, even if it means the loss of a few lives in avoidable airline crashes," according to an excessively corpulent Republican Senator. "Americans are going to have to tighten their seat belts (get it) if the rollback of huge tax breaks to the very wealthy enacted under the Bush administration are to be avoided."

A recording of air-traffic radio Wednesday revealed that area controllers made a frantic effort to raise someone in the tower at Reagan National after the American flight initially aborted its landing and radioed other controllers for help.

"I called a couple times on a land line and a supervisor called on the commercial line — and there's no answer," a controller at a regional air-traffic control facility in Warrenton, Va., about 40 miles from Reagan, says to the American pilots.

The controller then advises the American crew that another plane had landed under similar circumstances a year earlier using procedures for airports without towers. "So you may want to think that over," the controller says.

A few minutes later, the controller radios the United pilots to warn them. "The tower is apparently unmanned," he says. "We called on the phone, and nobody is answering."

"That's interesting," the pilot says.

The NTSB is conducting a preliminary review to determine whether to open a formal investigation. Really? What more do they need?

High Profile Hypocrisy - Fameous Prosecutor of Celebrity Drug Users Arrested for Making A Drug Buy For Himself

David Schubert, 47, prosecutor and drug abuser

David Schubert, the "Mr. Straight" prosecutor of drug felons, including Paris Hilton and Bruno Mars, was himself arrested in Las Vegas whilst making a street buy of cocaine for his own use.

"Hypocrite" Schubert, who has made a name and career for himself as the overzealous prosecutor of the users of illegal drugs was nailed attempting to make a drug buy on the street. According to his 'dealer,' Schubert usually made 3-4 buys weekly of $30-40 worth of cocaine.

The D.A. is depicted here in his hypocrisy suit and also dressed as a common street criminal during booking by police. Schubert inhabits the phony clothing of a 'bidnessman' whilst convicting celebrities and others of violating victimless crimes.

Mr. Schubert once boasted of having seen more inches of celebrity cleavage than George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Hugh Hefner combined. He frequently could be seen in court approaching the defense table and peering intently at the female celebrities' breasts. Ms. Hilton, who was aware of Mr. Schubert's propensities, made all her court appearances wearing clothing that maximized the exposure of her breasts, as in the accompanying photo. Prosecutor Schubert can be seen in the accompanying photos eyeing Ms. Hilton's breasts.

The bigoted D.A., who recommends lengthy prison terms for those he prosecutes, was mum on sentencing guide lines for himself. He did urge that he not be charged with a crime because he allegedly was conducting 'field research' to assemble a common 'profile' that would enable police officers to conduct a full body, deep cavity search of anyone they stopped who fits the profile of a 'druggie.' The suspects' Miranda rights would be waived automatically when stopped for fitting the profile. According to Schubert, Los Angeles County could save $200 to $300 annually in officer time wasted reading guilty suspects their rights. Most suspects don't even listen to their rights and wouldn't understand them if they did according to Mr. Schubert.

In a quick poll conducted by a Burbank H.S. band teacher, that has a plus or minus margin of error of 98%, 95% of respondents favored throwing Mr. Schubert under the bus, to be followed by a life sentence in a Syrian prison if he survives. Some of the zealous prosecutor's actual victims believe that sentence would be too lenient but would accept it if accompanied by continuous water boarding.

It was not believed Mr. Schubert would enter into any such plea agreement, however. Additionally, a plea bargain that involves a lifetime of torture probably would not be approved by a U.S. court as against public policy, unless it was applied to a suspected terrorist or U.S. military personnel who leak information about the U.S. use of torture, permanent maiming, and murder in the war or terror, such as that being used to break and destroy Bradley Manning, a former U.S. Army private, who is being held in maximum security in Florence, Colo. whilst being tortured 24/7 until he breaks down completely and no longer represents a threat to lying U.S. military officials. President Obama has accepted the military's assurances that Mr. Manning is being treated humanely

Moron, Posing As Woman Sues Cruise Line Over Speed

Woman suing Carnival: Ship sailed too fast, made me sick

Gene Sloan, USA TODAY

An Indiana Court of Appeals this week wasted valuable legal resources by taking up the case of a woman who claims she got sick on a Carnival cruise ship because it was going too fast.

According to court documents, Doris Beard of Indiana filed a complaint against Carnival saying that "due to the speed of the ship I became very sick ... the ship was moving so fast everyone on board became sick, even the workers."

The court documents did not say on which ship Beard had sailed.

Beard filed the case in 2009 in a small claims court in Lake County, Indiana, and the small claims court initially had denied Carnival's motion to dismiss the case. In addition to arguing the case should be dismissed on the grounds it had been filed in the wrong venue, Carnival also had argued Beard had failed to file the claim within the one-year statute of limitations provided for in the cruise contract.

Beard noted in her complaint that her body "swayed terrible" on the Carnival ship, according to court documents. "I had bleeding, which I had not has [sic] in three years," the complaint said.

Most ships in the Carnival fleet are capable of sailing at speeds no greater than 22 to 24 knots -- about 25 to 28 miles per hour.

It is generally acknowledged that large ships are steadier and smoother at greater speeds. They tend to wallow and roll when sailing slowly.

High and Low Level Talks Continue

Unidentified key federal officials discuss whether to have shrimp cocktails or each other for lunch...........mmmmm, mmmm.....good

Washington
March 21,2011

Facing twin crises in the U.S. led attack on Libya and the proposed AT&T, T-Mobile merger federal officials close to both situations and to each other huddled Monday to decide the future of their illicit relationship. Libya's embattled absolute dictator, Muammar Qaddafi (sp.? why can't Muslims agree on a single, common spelling of their names and organizations?) and veteran German battle-axe, Angela Merkel are seen here discussing ways to increase tourism between the two nations.

Qaddafi has warned western leaders that the flow of tourist money to West European nations and the U.S. could dry up if allied forces continue to bomb and kill or maim Libya's ruling elite. Only upper class Libyans can afford the ridiculous prices in Western Europe so they are the only source of tourism from Libya to Western Europe.

****BS special* BizarreStuff's editorial staff has just learned that the two individuals in the accompanying file photo are not Colonel (why hasn't he promoted himself to General after all these years?) Qaddafi or Ms. Merkel. Sorry. We are not sure who they are but are pretty sure they are not discussing official business.

Trident Man Assaults Amateur Photographer

Meet Johnathan Washburn.

The 23-year-old Texan ssaulted a man who made the mistake of photographing the skateboarder Monday night on an Austin street.

An enraged Washburn clobbered the shutterbug in the head with his skateboard after the man refused to delete the image from his camera. The request was made through Timothy Beard, a 19-year-old Washburn pal who has been charged with stealing the man’s sunglasses.

Washburn, facing a felony charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, remains jailed in lieu of $12,000. Beard, hit with a felony theft rap, is also at the Travis County lockup, where he is being held on $7500 bond.

A local hair stylist, speaking on condition of anonymity out of fear of Washburn, estimated it would take Washburn up to 4 hours and 3 cans of hairspray to get ready to go out after arranging his "do."