Wisconsin Man a "Porn" Loser

Cops: Woman stabs "cheater" boyfriend after catching him wanking

JULY 15--Meet Rachel Ferrara. When the Wisconsin woman, 23, arrived home from work yesterday afternoon, she discovered her boyfriend "watching pornography on the TV and masturbating," according to a La Crosse Police Department report. Chagrined, Ferrara chastized the boyfriend, Christopher Strabley, 24, called him a "fucking cheater," and kicked him in the groin. Ferrara then allegedly grabbed a kitchen knife and Strabley urged her to put down the knife and talk things over. Ferrara continued to advance on Strabley and eventually cornered him and stabbed him in the abdomen. Strabley told cops that she then told him, "You deserve it," while continuing to slash away at his arms, hands and face. (Strabley eventually escaped and drove himself to the hospital, where he was treated and released).

When confronted by police, Ferrara told an officer, "I think I hurt him bad." Ferrara, who was charged with felony reckless endangerment and disorderly conduct, was booked into the La Crosse County jail, where she posed for the mug shot above.

Botched Bank Robbery

NC man calls 911 to report he's robbing bank

Jul 16 2009


A man insisted on being arrested after he walked into a western North Carolina bank while on the phone with a 911 operator to report that he planned to commit a robbery. The Asheville Citizen-Times reported the man insisted on being arrested after an officer walked in behind him Wednesday at the Wachovia bank branch in Waynesville.

The man told the operator he wasn't armed and had a robbery note.

Detective Ryan Singleton said the man had quit his job as a sandwich maker and given his possessions to a roommate before going to the bank.

A police report said 52-year-old Terrence Joseph Germani was charged with felony attempted common law robbery and was in the Haywood County jail under $15,000 bond. It wasn't immediately clear if he had an attorney. It wasn't immediately clear if he was sane.


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Man Stocks Up On Women's Underwear.

Man arrested with panties hanging from pants

Jul 15 2009


A man has been charged with public intoxication after authorities said he was walking along Highway 11 with a pair of panties hanging out from his unzipped pants. According to The Daily Post-Athenian, 31-year-old man told deputies he had been at a pool party and stole them from a nearby home early Sunday.

A search revealed the man had stuffed some 40 pairs of female undergarments into his pants, although he had thrown most of them to the ground as a deputy approached.

The owner of the garments declined to prosecute but the man was arrested on a charge of public intoxication.

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Sharp Increase in Cigarette Prices Bankrupts One New Hampshire Smoker

NH man charged 23 quadrillion dollars for smokes

Jul 16 2009


A New Hampshire man says he swiped his debit card at a gas station to buy a pack of cigarettes and was charged over 23 quadrillion dollars, forcing him to file for bankruptcy.

Josh Muszynski (Moo-SIN'-ski) checked his account online a few hours later and saw the 17-digit number _ a stunning $23,148,855,308,184,500 (twenty-three quadrillion, one hundred forty-eight trillion, eight hundred fifty-five billion, three hundred eight million, one hundred eighty-four thousand, five hundred dollars).

Mr. Muszynski said with the price of cigarettes going up that much he no longer could afford to smoke, so he was quitting but wanted to get that last pleasurable sensation from smoking. He then proceeded to chain smoke two packs of cigarettes, at a cost of more than 46 quadrillion dollars.

When asked by a reporter where he would get that much money, Muszynski said the tobacco industry had agreed to sponsor him as a publicity stunt to get more young people addicted to nicotine and thus ensure a future market for its deadly product. But he said he was given no indication that there would be such a large increase in cigarette prices. He said he was only paid $2,500 by the tobacco industry.

To make matters worse he also was struggling with his bank, Bank of America, for assessing him a $15 overdraft fee for insufficient funds to cover the charge. "They should have known there was something wrong because my average balance runs about $250," said Muszynski. "The bank should have realized there was no way I could ever make good on a charge of that size. What is there that could possibly cost 23 quadrillion dollars?" he said rhetorically.

The bank agreed not to charge him for the 2d pack of cigarettes.

Bank of America said only the card issuer, Visa, could answer questions. Visa referred all questions to the bank in a game of Blame the Other Merchant.

A designated spokeswoman for the BOA, Sylvia Scapegoat, who was unauthorized to say anything meaningful, said her only requests were to remain anonymous and not be tricked by reporters into revealing any details about the multiple fraudulent and illegal activities of her employer, because she wanted to keep her job, as she was a single mom and desperately needed the health insurance benefits for her two disabled children and elderly mother who suffers from emphysema.

Both requests were denied as the reporters grilled MS SCAPEGOAT mercilessly about the BOA's slimeball transactions with Timothy Gaithner, Secretary of the Treasury, which Scapegoat ultimately broke down and revealed, after which she suffered a violent epilepsy attack and had to be carried from the room on a stretcher.

On arrival at a local hospital, Ms. Scapegoat was informed her health insurance had been discontinued, as her employment with the BOA had terminated immediately after the press conference. A company henchman said Scapegoat was terminated for breach of her duty to say nothing of substance during the press conference.

When her seizures subsided somewhat in the emergency waiting room, she was escorted to the exit by a hospital security guard and told she needed to go to a charity hospital. She managed to reach a pay phone in a nearby strip shopping center where she used her last 50 cents to call her brother to come get her. She got his answering service which advised he was having an important all night meeting at home and would return all calls in the morning.

Still suffering the after effects of her earlier seizure, Scapegoat sat down momentarily, and slumped against a postal drop box, to rest and consider her options. After a few minutes she was arrested by local police and taken to the county jail where she was charged with loitering, vagrancy and public intoxication. Temporary bail was set at $2,500, pending a hearing before a magistrate the following morning.

Disclaimer: Some parts of this account may not be completely accurate because it was written by a rookie reporter who was alcohol impaired at the time. Any necessary retractions or corrections will appear in a subsequent issue of this publication.


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How Would You Like To Look Up From Your Airplane Seat and Have an Open View of the Sky At 30,000 Feet?

Southwest checks planes after hole forces landing

Jul 14 2009

By DAVID KOENIG - AP Airlines Writer

A Southwest Airlines plane had to make an emergency landing in Charleston, W.V., Monday, July 13, 2009, because of a hole in the top of the aircraft. Southwest Airlines ordered inspections of nearly 200 aircraft after a football-sized hole opened up in the passenger cabin of a plane during flight, forcing an emergency landing. Travelers on the 737 aircraft could see outside through the 1-foot-by-1-foot hole that appeared during the flight Monday. The cabin lost pressure, but no one was injured on the Nashville to Baltimore flight with 126 passengers and five crew members on board.

The Boeing 737 jet lost pressure in the cabin, but no one was injured on Monday's Nashville-to-Baltimore flight.

The plane was built in 1994, and government records indicated that an inspection in January turned up eight cracks in the frame that required repairs.

Southwest said Tuesday that it inspected all 181 of its identical Boeing 737-300-series jets overnight before putting them back in the sky.

Passenger Michael Cunningham told NBC's "Today" show Tuesday that he had dozed off in his seat in mid-cabin when he was awakened by "the loudest roar I'd ever heard," and saw the hole above his seat.

Cunningham said people stayed calm and put on oxygen masks that dropped from the ceiling.

"After we landed in Charleston, the pilot came out and looked up through the hole, and everybody applauded, shook his hand, a couple of people gave him hugs," he said.

Passengers in the front rows didn't know the full extent of the hole _ that it went right through to the sky, said Charles Overby, CEO of the Freedom Forum, a free-press foundation that runs the Newseum in Washington.

"I was just as happy not to know that," he told The Associated Press. "It was pretty harrowing, but I've been through worse landings during turbulence."

Southwest said it was unclear what caused the hole, which ripped open just in front of the vertical tail fin as the plane cruised at 30,000 feet. The jet flew on for nearly half an hour to Charleston.

Federal Aviation Administration records show that during the plane's 14-year checkup in January, eight cracks were found in the fuselage frame and repaired.

Damage from wear and tear is not unusual in planes of that age, and the FAA requires special inspections for cracks. In March, Southwest agreed to pay $7.5 million to settle charges that it operated planes that had missed those required inspections.

FAA spokesman Lynn Lunsford said an initial review indicated that inspection orders for the Boeing 737-300 didn't include inspecting the area of the body where the tear appeared on Monday's flight.

The FAA and the National Transportation Safety Board sent investigators to the scene to interview the crew and examine maintenance and inspection records, but could take months to find a cause, said agency spokesman Keith Holloway.

Southwest spokeswoman Marilee McInnis said workers conducted "a walk-around visual inspection" of the airline's other 737-300s and discovered no cracks. During periodic maintenance overhauls, workers use equipment designed to detect cracks that aren't visible.

The 137-seat 737-300 makes up about one-third of Southwest's fleet. All its 544 jets are various models of the Boeing 737.

Southwest operated a normal schedule of flights _ about 3,300 per day _ with no cancelations or delays through midday, McInnis said.

Experts said the tear could have been caused by damage from a dent or ding, or the plane's skin could have suffered from age-related fatigue. Jet cabins are pressurized and depressurized with every flight, which can cause tiny cracks over time. The Southwest jet was built in 1994.

Bill Voss, president of the Flight Safety Foundation in Alexandria, Va., said a finding of fatigue would be more frightening. If that were the cause, it could force the FAA to consider more rigorous inspections for older aircraft, he said.

Alten "Skip" Grandt, an aeronautics professor at Purdue University who specializes in structural analysis, said that the fuselage of the Boeing jet performed as designed by preventing a sudden and catastrophic loss of pressure, and stopping the hole from expanding.

The cabin depressurized, he said, "but whatever caused that hole, it didn't cause the whole airplane to blow up."

In 1988, cracks caused part of the roof of an Aloha Airlines Boeing 737 to peel open while the jet flew from Hilo to Honolulu. A flight attendant was blown out of the plane and plunged to her death, and dozens of passengers were injured. The incident led to tougher rules for inspecting fuselages.

In March, Southwest agreed to pay a $7.5 million civil penalty imposed by the Federal Aviation Administration for operating nearly 60,000 flights in 2007 on planes that had not undergone required inspections for cracks in the fuselage. About 1,450 flights took place after the FAA had notified Southwest of the missed inspections.

Dallas-based Southwest Airlines Co. carries more than 100 million U.S. passengers a year, more than any other airline.

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Baring It All For a Record

Nudists Bare-ly Go for Guinness World Record Naturism to the public

By BRIAN THOMPSON

Jul 13, 2009

Would you dare to bare it all on a New Jersey beach?

From New York to California, nudists pranced in the surf and in lakes in an attempt to break a Guinness World Record.

Nudists Go for the Record
Watch Video

Naturists want to bring their love of baring it all to the mainstream. They're going for a record in the process.

"I was a little hesitant at first. As soon as I got here it was like 'I'm just gonna bare it all,'" said first-time nudist Lorray Bradbury of Marlton, New Jersey.

The young blond was a rarity as one of the few out of thousands at Gunnison Beach in Sandy Hook, New Jersey still sporting tan lines.

Throughout the United States and Canada, an estimated 10,000 nudists skinny dipped at the same time.

Friends of Gunnison (FoG), an advocacy group, was one of 127 chapters of the American Association for Nude Recreation that took part in the event. As the largest chapter, FoG put roughly 800 bare-buttocked members in the Atlantic Ocean.

FoG member Leo Falanga of Wrightstown, New Jersey exclaimed, "It's wonderful. It's the kind of event I think everybody should join."

Why do it?

"The whole point of this is to bring naturism out to the public to show them that we're normal people," said FoG President Dale Distasio.

Blab! Blab! Blab! Blab! Me, Me, Me, Me

This item had to be removed because another blog site claimed it held copyright to it because it was previously published there. While this editor did not obtain the story from the complaining blog, but from another source, our attorneys do not believe it constituted copyright violation. Nevertheless it was decided to remove the item to avoid all the hassle and wasted time arguing with the editor of another site who got his or her shorts or panties in a wad over a simple little story.

The facts in the story go something like this.

English is the second most spoken language in the world. It is a very rich language, with more than a million words. But its speakers are estimated to use no more than one per cent of these words.

About a third of English words are technical terms because English has become the most commonly used language among scientists and scholars of all types.

Some individuals talk a lot more than others, some speaking up to 50,000 words a day. But about 80% of that talk is called self-talk, which means people are talking to themselves.

The original story points out that English also is the most popular Internet language. We also learn that the longest word in the world is a scientific term that consists of 207,000 letters, which is why no one ever uses it in conversation, plus it requires about 80 regular letter sized pages to type it.

Now, wasn't that a big deal to get all exercised about and make threats, which is what the other blog editor or spokesperson did. Nothing on this blog is copyrighted, which is the way it ought to be. Copyright is just another legalized form of censorship.

Oh, by the way, the two illustrations were placed there by me and were not part of the original story, which was sort of drab.

The Editor.