Thursday, June 14, 2012

Real Life Case of Nut Busting - Yeeeeooooowwwch

June 6, 2012 at 8:39 am by  

Joyce Maxine Gregory 125x188 Woman Accused Of Squeezing Mans Scrotum, Causing Testicle To Pop OutShelby, NC – 39-year-old Joyce Maxine Gregory was arrested Saturday morning and charged with “malicious castration” and “assault inflicting serious bodily injury” after allegedly squeezing a 59-year-old man’s scrotum with enough force to cause one of his testicles to pop out.
I will apologize in advance for the short article, but it’s uncomfortable to write while cross-legged, with my thighs involuntarily constricting my formidable junk.

The person pictured is the reported perpetrator in this crime.  According to police, Gregory and the man, who were supposedly in some sort of “romantic” relationship, were arguing Saturday morning.  It must have been getting fairly heated though, because the man reports that he stepped outside to call 911.

It was then that Gregory allegedly grabbed the man by his plum-sac…hard…and I mean REALLY hard; so hard, in fact, that his scrotum ruptured, causing one of his testicles to peek out from what had become, and I’m visualizing here, a hairy, wrinkly, swollen, bloody mess.

The man was able to wrench himself free and walk to the Shelby Rescue Squad building for help.  Police who were called to the scene of the brutal plum-juicing found Gregory and placed her under arrest.
Officer M. L. McPherson stated in his report that the victim’s “scrotum had been split open,” adding that, “I was also able to observe one of the subject’s testicles protruding from the scrotum area.”  Lucky Officer McPherson.

While in the squad car, Gregory reportedly removed her pants and urinated on the seats.  She is being held on $20,000 bond for some odd reason and is scheduled to appear in court on June 18th.
The urologist who returned the man’s nut to its rightful position and stitched the wound says that there should be no permanent damage, but I’m going to guess that it hurts like hell right about now.

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