Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Blonde Beauty Bitches

Good-Looking Blonde Complains She Is Too Beautiful By Spooky on June 5th, 2013 Category: News It’s not easy being beautiful, at least according to 21-year-old Dana Adiva, who says her looks are both a blessing and a curse. She is treated like a princess, but the same time women are jealous of her beauty, and men just can’t help staring at her. Dana, an aspiring professional wrestler from Illinois, was recently featured on MTV’s “True Life” where she complained about being too beautiful. The young blonde claimed she has had people telling her how pretty she was all the time, but things got ugly when she got to high-school. “I got so much attention from all the guys, but I didn’t get along with any of the girls,” Adiva said. “They were extremely jealous of me”. Things really got out of control when she started getting hate mail from other girls, which eventually forced her to drop out of school. And that’s only one of the tough things she has had to deal with because of her look. Apparently, it’s also affecting her chances of finding true love. “I’m hoping to find love someday but when you look like me it’s not easy. My looks get in the way,” Dana said. “When I walk into a bar I’m used to every guy staring at me,” but the men she is actually interested in never seem to take her seriously. Truly a tragedy, this is… But the wrestler wannabe admits it’s not all bad. “I get anything I want and I get treated like a princess. I don’t have to be smart, because I have my looks,” Dana said on the show. Still, the perks of being beautiful weren’t enough for her in the beginning. Men stared at her “no matter what”, which she thought was “the most irritating thing in the world”, so she tried making herself less attractive. She tried dyeing her hair brown, wearing glasses and even putting on weight, but nothing seemed to keep men’s eyes off her. So ultimately she decided to embrace her curse, and make herself even more attractive. She’s planning to invest in some breast implants, which she reckons will make her go from a 10 to a 200.

Monday, December 29, 2014

Baby Jesus Snatched, Twice

Police: Baby Jesus taken, replaced with pig's head AP | Associated Press December 26, 2014 12:36PM EST HAVERHILL, Mass. (AP) — A mayor in Massachusetts is outraged that someone stole a baby Jesus statue from a church's Nativity scene and replaced it with a pig's head. Haverhill Mayor James Fiorentini says the desecration has "all the elements of a hate crime." The parish priest noticed the statue had been taken from the creche at Sacred Hearts Roman Catholic Church on Christmas morning. Police say the pig's head left in its place appears to have been recently severed, and investigators are seeking help from butcher shops and pig farms. Police say the perpetrator could face animal cruelty charges. Meanwhile, a neighbor replaced the baby Jesus with one from her own creche. The baby Jesus figurine was also stolen from the Nativity scene on Greenfield Town Common, likely before dawn on Christmas Eve.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Bare Breasted Woman Banned By Vatican

Vatican forever bars woman who bared breasts, grabbed baby Jesus statue
Dec 27, 2014 10:45 AM ET Last Updated: Dec 27, 2014 12:24 PM ET Vatican Femen Protest Italian police officers arrest a Ukrainian feminist group Femen activist after she snatched the statue of Baby Jesus from the Nativity scene set in St. Peter's Square and also bared her breasts. (Associated Press) The Vatican said it had arrested a member of women's rights group Femen who on Christmas Day bared her breasts and grabbed a statue of the baby Jesus from a nativity scene in front of thousands of people in St. Peter's Square. Femen's website says the woman was protesting as part of its anti-clerical "Massacre of the Innocents" campaign contesting religions' "maniacal desire to control women's fertility". Vatican spokesman Father Federico Lombardi said Friday that Ukrainian citizen Iana Aleksandrovna Azhdanova was being detained and questioned by a Vatican judge. On Saturday, the Vatican said she had been released and was forbidden to return to the Holy See. He said she was accused of vilification of religion, obscene acts in public, and theft. He said her action "offended the religious feelings of many people". A Vatican policeman stopped Azhdanova, who had "God is woman" written on her chest, and covered her with his cape. She staged her protest shortly after Pope Francis had finished reading his Christmas greeting to the crowd. Femen activists have staged protests at the Vatican before, the latest last month, and have been let go. But Lombardi said the Vatican had decided to be firm this time and arrest Azhdanova because her action was "particularly grave". Lombardi said the group had "intentionally, repeatedly and gravely violated the right of the faithful to see their legitimate religious convictions respected".
28 Dec. 2014 Taiwan Not the actual hippo, which was receiving medical care, but a close relative. A hippopotamus jumped out of a truck as it was being transported in Taiwan on Friday, breaking a tooth and a leg and lying on the street for hours. The driver of the truck said he slammed on the brake and that probably frightened the hippo. Reuters, citing local media, said the injured hippo was eventually lifted into a truck and transported to a small lake where it is receiving medical treatment.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

3D Vaginas

Dec.23,2014 Tokyo A Japanese woman who makes art based on her vagina has been charged with obscenity, in a case that has sparked discussion on censorship. Megumi Igarashi, 42, had allegedly displayed an "obscene" work at a Tokyo sex shop and sent 3D data of her genitals to other people. She was arrested in early December and has been held in detention since then. Ms Igarashi was previously arrested in July, but was later released following a legal appeal and public pressure. On Wednesday Ms Igarashi was charged with obscenity for displaying a work modelled on her vagina and for distributing data that could be used to print out a 3D copy of her genitals, reported the Asahi Shimbun newspaper. Ms Igarashi, who goes by the name Rokudenashi-ko which means "no-good girl" in Japanese, pleaded not guilty. Asahi Shimbun reported that she read out in court a prepared statement which said: "My works are all meant to induce friendly laughter because they involve cutely decorating sexual organs. The works are not obscene." Japan's obscenity laws ban the depiction of genitalia, which are blurred in broadcast media and images. If convicted, Ms Igarashi could be jailed up to two years and/or fined as much as 2.5 million yen (£13,350, $20,750). This handout picture taken by Rokudenashiko and Marie Akatani on 19 October 2013 shows artist Megumi Igarashi paddling a kayak designed to be the shape of her own vagina in Tokyo. Ms Igarashi is known for her vagina-shaped kayak Controversial kayak Ms Igarashi made international headlines in July when she was arrested, after she raised funds online to make a vagina-shaped kayak using a 3D printer. She had sent data that could be used to create 3D models of her vagina to those who had donated to her. She was released after several days following a legal appeal and a petition signed by more than 17,000 people saying her work was art and not obscene, reported Japan Times. But police arrested her again on 3 December on similar grounds. They also arrested the owner of a Tokyo sex shop for allegedly displaying Ms Igarashi's "obscene goods" in her shop window from October 2013 until July this year. The woman was later freed after a judge refused to allow prosecutors to question her further. Authorities however were allowed to continue to detain Ms Igarashi because the judge was concerned that she would "destroy evidence or flee", said Asahi Shimbun. Her case has sparked debate on the nature of censorship and Japan's obscenity laws. Correspondents say that opinion is split in Japan over whether Ms Igarashi's work is obscene, with some pointing out that images of penises are not seen as causing offence. On her website, Ms Igarashi, who has made several items based on her genitals using a silicone mould, said she wanted to make vaginas "more casual and pop", much like how penises are regarded as "part of pop culture" in Japan.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Family Saved From Torture Visit To Disneyland

NEW ORLEANS (AP) — Michael and Trudi Hardman had always talked about taking their six children to Disney World, and just a week before Thanksgiving, it seemed their "dream trip" was to be a reality. But just a little more than three hours after they took to the road Wednesday night, their SUV veered off a highway and rolled over in Louisiana, killing them and three of the kids. Police believe the couple's 16-year-old son apparently fell asleep behind the wheel of the SUV en route from Terrell, Texas, to Orlando, Florida. The driver, who was not identified, was cited with careless operation, which is a misdemeanor, following the 11 p.m. crash on Interstate 20 near Calhoun, Louisiana State Police spokesman Michael Reichardt said. Michael Hardman's brother, Timothy Hardman, said the driver and two passengers were injured, one critically. The teen driver veered left onto the median and then tried to get back onto the highway but overcorrected, causing the 2005 Chevrolet Tahoe to roll over, police said. Michael and Trudi Hardman were both primary-school teachers from Terrell, Texas. Also killed were sons Dakota Watson, 15, and Adam Hardman, 7; and daughter Kaci Hardman, 4, police said. None of those killed wore seat belts but the driver did, officials said. The distance between Terrell and Orlando is about 1,050 miles — a 16-hour drive. The family left their home in Terrell about 7 p.m. or 8 p.m. Wednesday, according to Timothy Hardman, meaning the accident occurred early in the journey. Michael Hardman was a second-grade teacher at an elementary school in Terrell, said Terrell Independent School District Superintendent Michael French. He had worked in the district for two years, French said. Hardman also was a little league baseball coach who coached his sons, one of whom, 12-year-old Aaron Hardman, was in critical condition at a Shreveport hospital, Timothy Hardman said. "He never turned a kid away," Timothy Hardman said. "Michael probably had the biggest heart of anybody you ever knew. He just loved kids." The driver and the other injured passenger were treated at the hospital and released Thursday morning, Hardman said. French said a counselor contacted the parents of students in Michael Hardman's class to let them know about his death, and counselors also are available to support both staff and students. "Our thoughts and prayers are with his family members, colleagues, students and friends," he said. "We must lift each other up during this difficult time," French said. Trudi Hardman was a kindergarten teacher at Wills Point Primary school and had worked for the Wills Point Independent School District for about 10 years, Superintendent Suzanne Blasingame said in an email. Blasingame said Michael Hardman also had formerly taught at Wills Point Primary. "Our school and community is grieving for this family," said Blasingame, who had traveled to Louisiana to be with the family. Timothy Hardman, 38, of Crandall, Texas, said his brother and Trudi Hardman were married about five years ago and had six children between them. Michael Hardman had three boys from a previous marriage, while Trudi Hardman had two boys from a previous marriage, Timothy Hardman said. The couple had a daughter, Kaci, together, he said. Timothy Hardman, who traveled to Louisiana after he was notified of the accident, said his brother's family had scheduled the trip about nine months ago, and had planned to stay at Disney World for a week. "They've always talked about it," he said. "It was their dream trip. It was an opportunity for them to take all of their kids." Police don't believe the young driver was impaired, but a toxicology sample was taken. The stretch of I-20 where the deadly crash took place is flat and straight and the weather was clear, they said. "Our heartfelt condolences go out to all of the people affected by this tragic crash," said Col. Mike Edmonson, the Louisiana State Police superintendent. "In an instance, this family vacation turned into an unspeakable tragedy." ___ Previous versions of this story erroneously reported the charge against the driver. The driver was cited with careless operation, a misdemeanor, not reckless operation of a vehicle, which is a felony.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Man Threatens Cops With His Banana

GRAND JUNCTION, Colo. (AP) — A Colorado man is facing a felony menacing charge after two western Colorado sheriff's deputies say he pointed a banana at them and they thought it was a gun. The Grand Junction Daily Sentinel reports (http://bit.ly/1rqFiVE ) 27-year-old Nathan Rolf Channing, of Fruitvale, was arrested Sunday. According to an arrest affidavit, Mesa County deputies Joshua Bunch and Donald Love said they feared for their lives even though they saw that the object was yellow. Bunch wrote in the affidavit that he has seen handguns in many shapes and colors. He wrote that Love was drawing his service weapon when Channing yelled, "It's a banana!" The deputies say Channing told them he was doing a trial run for a planned YouTube video and he thought it would "lighten the holiday spirit."

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Nude Dude Pursues Quest

LONDON (AP) — A British man who spurns clothes has lost a legal bid to have public nudity declared a human right. The European Court of Human Rights ruled Tuesday that Stephen Gough's rights were not violated by repeated arrests and convictions for being naked in public. The court said Gough's legal woes were the result of conduct that could be "alarming and morally and otherwise offensive" to others. Gough, a 55-year-old former Royal Marine nicknamed the "Naked Rambler," has twice walked the length of Britain, with frequent interruptions for arrests, court appearances and jail time. He has served multiple sentences for appearing nude in places including courts and an airplane. He was arrested more than 30 times in Scotland between 2003 and 2012, the court noted, and he spent more than seven years in detention there between May 2006 and October 2012. "His imprisonment was the consequence of his repeated violation of the criminal law, in full knowledge of the consequences, through conduct which went against the standards of accepted public behavior in any modern democratic society," the court said. There is no law in Britain against public nudity. However, there are laws against indecent exposure or behavior likely to cause "harassment, alarm or distress." Gough called the judgment a disappointment but added: "I have no choice but to continue."

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Florida Nabs "Stupid" Title Again

Oct.15,2014 Daytona Beach News Herald Mark and Brenda Voss of Missouri recently completed construction on their gorgeous 5,300-square-foot beach house in a gated community in Hammock Dunes in Florida. The only problem with their palatial new digs? It was built on the wrong lot. Contractors built the $680,000, 5-bedroom house on property that technically belongs to a couple from North Carolina. The couple purchased the lot in 2003 but never developed it. According to Keystone Homes, which built the house, the mistake is traced to a survey conducted last year that pointed out the wrong stretch of land on which to build the Voss's home. Renters had been living in the house for months until the slip-up was noticed in September. So what happens now? Keystone Vice President Robbie Richmond says the company is looking for a way to negotiate a settlement. "We are 100 percent committed to finding a resolution that is fair," he said. "I have built about 600 homes in Flagler County, and this has never happened to me before. It does happen, but it's rare."

Monday, October 13, 2014

The Moving Dead Now Gone

Florida drive-through funeral home demolished October 10, 2014 07:04PM EDT OCALA, Fla. (AP) — A former drive-through funeral home in Florida has been razed. The building in Ocala sat empty for years, but in the early '80s it was set up to permit mourners to see departed loved ones without ever leaving the car. The Ocala Star-Banner (http://tinyurl.com/ojn9b7t ) reports a large drive-through bank teller window was added to the Westside Serenity Funeral Home after the city denied a request for additional parking. The deceased lay in state next to the window behind closed drapes that opened when the front tires of a car passed over a rubber cable on the ground. Mourners signed in at a register kept in a deposit drawer. When the car's back tires drove over the cable again, the drapes closed and the lights and music that mourners heard shut off. ___ Information from: Ocala (Fla.) Star-Banner, http://www.starbanner.com/

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Danger to Opposite Sex Couples

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Wyoming Trucker Steals More Chicken Than He Can Run With

MARTIN KIDSTON/Missoulian September 24, 2014 Missoula health officers are working to deal with tens of thousands of pounds of rotting chickens inside a stolen semi that was abandoned at the Missoula Wye. Missoula health officer: No easy fix for semi full of rotten chicken The roughly 37,000 pounds of rotting chicken in a semi trailer at the Wye may be a little harder to get rid of than originally hoped. WYE – A big white trailer parked at a truck stop isn’t likely to turn heads, unless it’s been sitting there for days, dripping the juices of rotting chickens and attracting flies. Missoula County sheriff’s deputies discovered the 53-foot trailer at Town Pump’s Flying J truck stop Tuesday. Owned by Dixie River Freight in Nampa, Idaho, the trailer is loaded with 35,000 pounds of raw chicken valued at $80,000. And the chicken is turning rancid. On Wednesday, Paige Pavalone, public information officer for the Missoula County Sheriff’s Office, said the truck and trailer were reported stolen within the past few days by Dixie River Freight. The trucker, a Dixie River employee, had texted his company saying he’d return the chicken in exchange for ransom money. When the company declined, the suspect abandoned the trailer at the Flying J and left in the rig. The truck was reported stolen, but the trailer wasn’t entered into the national database, leaving deputies to discover it by happenstance this week. Pavalone said the local sheriff’s office is acting as the recovering agency, so does not know if the suspect had been located. Calls to the Nampa Police Department weren’t returned Wednesday. “I noticed (the trailer) sitting there when I came out Saturday,” said Crystal Friede, manager of the truck stop. “I keep an eye on how long trucks have been sitting there. You need to know if someone’s in the truck. In this case, it’s chicken.” The truck was abandoned on the asphalt pad north of Flying J. There, the chicken juice dripped from the container, staining the ground with a gooey red and translucent liquid. The flies had gathered around the juices in the 90-degree heat and a faint odor of rotting meat wafted in the air. Friede said county health officials visited the truck stop Wednesday searching for a way to discard the rotting carcasses. The trailer hasn’t been opened or moved since its discovery, and it’s unknown how the chickens are packaged. “They’re dripping all over the ground,” Friede said. “It’s turning colors out there. I didn’t know chicken was red.” Shannon Therriault, environmental health supervisor with the Missoula City-County Health Department, said deputies notified her office of the problem Tuesday. A county sanitarian inspected the trailer as the Health Department contacted Dixie River’s insurance company, along with Republic Services of Missoula, to find a solution. “We’re typically involved in truck wrecks, making sure compromised food is discarded and doesn’t enter the food chain,” Therriault said. “Obviously, this chicken isn’t going to get used at this point, but the question is, what needs to happen to dispose of it safely?” Therriault said a number of issues need to be resolved before the trailer can be moved. The insurance company must decide if the trailer can be cleaned for future food transport, or if it’s a total loss. Sanitation officials will also decide if the truck can be wrapped and moved to the dump for unloading, or if the contents need to be unloaded into a leak-proof container on site. “It would be ideal to only have to deal with it once,” Therriault said. “We don’t want rotting chicken dripping from here to who knows where. If it’s leaking a little now, if you move it, more can happen.” Health Department employees wouldn’t unload the rotting chicken. Republic Services has an expert on staff to deal with rotten poultry, Therriault said. “We’ll try to figure out, between parties, the best way to have the least amount of contact with the contents,” Therriault said. “Whether the truck is cleanable and can be sanitized – if it’s going to carry food again – is up to the insurance company.” Chickens'Cousin Reporter Martin Kidston can be reached at 523-5260, or at martin.kidston@missoulian.com.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Man Uses Fake Banana to Rob Store

September 17, 2014 PHILADELPHIA (BP) — Police in Philadelphia say a man used what appeared to be a banana in his pocket to simulate a gun while he robbed a convenience store. A man entered a corner grocery store on Tuesday. He waited in line and then used his erect penis to simulate a gun in his pants pocket which he pointed at a young, inexperienced female clerk. Police say the man demanded money and cigarettes, and made off with an undetermined amount of cash. A video shows him riding off on a bicycle, carefully avoiding mashing the banana on the bike bar.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Sounds Like a Crock But True

16 September 2014 Thailand woman dead after jumping into crocodile pit This picture taken on 15 September 2014 shows crocodiles in and outside a pond at the farm where a woman killed herself in Samut Prakarn, outside Bangkok. Ms Wanpen jumped off a walkway at Samut Prakarn Crocodile Farm and Zoo. The crocodiles ate the woman and then looked around for seconds. Police said they were told by family members that Ms Wanpen appeared depressed prior to her death. Thai tourist attractions are said to often have lax safety rules. Thai police confirmed Ms Wanpen's death on Tuesday afternoon. According to reports, she took off her shoes before jumping into the middle of a pond said to be up to 3m deep that contained hundreds of adult crocodiles. Staff tried to use long sticks to stop the crocodiles from attacking her, according to the Bangkok Post. Earlier that day, Ms Wanpen's family had tried to file a missing persons report after they discovered her disappearance, but they were reportedly told to wait for 24 hours. Her death mirrored that of a woman who killed herself in 2002 the same way at the same farm, and another suicide reportedly took place a decade before that. Crocodiles sit in and on the edge of water at the Samut Prakarn Crocodile Farm and Zoo on the outskirts of Bangkok on 12 October 2008. The farm claims it has more than 100,000 crocodiles housed in its ponds. Some of them may be seen in the attached photos. Farm owner Uthen Youngprapakorn told a local radio station that the farm had already installed additional fences and other security measures along the walkways. The farm claims on its website that it has more than 100,000 crocodiles. Pictures of the farm show wooden pagodas on stilts, connected by walkways that have chest-high railings, situated over large ponds.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Fool Survives Bear Attack

LONGVIEW, Wash. (AP) — A bow-hunter was attacked by a bear while looking for deer near the southwest Washington city of Longview. The 61-year-old Longview man, Jerry Hause, tells The Daily News (http://bit.ly/1oMQysG) he was sitting down to take a rest Monday when the bear came at him at a dead run. Hause says he didn't have time to use his bow so he scrambled up a tree. The bear followed him and bit his left leg. It finally let go when Hause kicked it in the nose with his other foot. Hause was able to walk out and call for help. He was treated for puncture wounds and claw scratches at a hospital and is recovering at home. Hause says the next time he goes bow hunting, he plans to carry a pistol. ___ Information from: The Daily News, http://www.tdn.com

Fellatio and the Second Amendment

Sep.8. 2014 Man Fires 9mm Gun At Couple Who Interrupted Public Fellatio Because of his 2nd Amendment Remedy! When the Founding Fathers sat down to write the Second Amendment, what they had in mind were situations like the following. You're a man (the Constitution is for men, because the laydeez should be at home making sammiches and looking purty). After a hard day at the office, you put on a tuxedo, head for the city's red-light district and hire a lady entrepreneur to perform oral sex on you...because the invisible hand (or mouth) of the market rules! But your well-earned, free-market, all-American relaxation is interrupted by a pair of liberal busybodies. Now, in some other God-forsaken country, your choices of action would be circumscribed. But this is America, goddamn it! So you do what any reasonable, red-blooded non-socialist American man who has a blow-job interrupted does: you pull out your 9mm and blast away. 2nd Amendment remedy, bitches! That's what the Founding Fathers were talking about!

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Woman Saves On Clothing

Somewhere August, 2014 A woman shopping makes dual use of her pants to cover her privates and her tat

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Drunk Adolescent Arrested

August 14, 2014 MANITOWOC, Wis. (AP) — Police say an officer making a traffic stop in eastern Wisconsin found an intoxicated driver behind the wheel — and she was just 13 years old. They say five other juveniles, 14 and under, were along for the ride. Authorities say the officer stopped the vehicle in Manitowoc shortly before midnight Wednesday because its headlights were off. Police Capt. Larry Zimney tells WOMT radio that the girl was arrested and later released to her mother. Police say one of the juvenile passengers was taken to the Sheboygan County juvenile detention center because of a pending court order. MANITOWOC, Wis. (AP) — Police say an officer making a traffic stop in eastern Wisconsin found an intoxicated driver behind the wheel — and she was just 13 years old. They say five other juveniles, 14 and under, were along for the ride. Authorities say the officer stopped the vehicle in Manitowoc shortly before midnight Wednesday because its headlights were off. Police Capt. Larry Zimney tells WOMT radio that the girl was arrested and later released to her mother. Police say one of the juvenile passengers was taken to the Sheboygan County juvenile detention center because of a pending court order.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Motormouth New York Woman

We sat down with the world's fastest talking female. Fran Capo holds a world record for her gift of gab at 603 words per minute — or 11 words per second (no big deal). A YouTube video that's gone viral this week showcases Fran reciting "The Three Little Pigs" really, really, really fast. Fran says the video was shot a few years ago, and she's overwhelmed by the renewed attention. The former broadcaster and current comedienne went on "Larry King Live" back in 1986. We put the native New Yorker on the spot to read us the story once again. The fast talker extraordinaire did it in 15.78 seconds or so! Fran's always up for a challenge and is always on the move. She hopes others learn to live in the moment, too.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Naked thieves take burgers from SW Fla eatery

BONITA SPRINGS, Fla. (AP) — A southwest Florida waitress has dubbed the trio of naked hamburger thieves who broke into an eatery "dumb, dumber and dumbest."
Waitress Nancy Sansevieri was still laughing after police released surveillance video Wednesday showing the college-aged men — two naked and one clad in underwear — stealing 60 hamburgers from Doc's Beach House in Bonita Beach.
Police say the men broke in early Sunday and left a trail of red peppers on the beach.
Doc's general manager Lou Bangert told the News-Press of Fort Myers (http://newspr.es/1pevKLk) that he's never witnessed such a crime in the restaurant's 27-year history. Thieves have broken in and taken money from the cash register, but he says no one has ever slammed through a door completely naked looking for beef.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

The Real Burning Man - Accept No Substitutes

Grantsville, Utah
July 19, 2014

A man died over the weekend after jumping into a huge ceremonial bonfire at a Utah event similar to the Nevada countercultural festival Burning Man, authorities said.
The incident, which police are investigating as a suicide, happened about 11 p.m. Saturday at the annual Element 11 festival in Grantsville, which is about 36 miles southwest of Salt Lake City.
Grantsville police Lt. Steve Barrett said the man had told some of the estimated 1,200 attendees in advance about his plans to run into the fire. The three-story-tall effigy, modeled on a character from the classic picture book "Where The Wild Things Are," had been burning for about 30 minutes and was fully engulfed when the man crossed a safety perimeter about 50 feet from the structure and jumped in, officials said.
"He was very fast; he was very motivated," J.P. Bernier, a spokesman for Element 11, told the Deseret News. "It wasn't an accident or any act of negligence on anybody's part. He had a very deliberate objective to get past our volunteers, past our safety perimeter."
Firefighters immediately tried to douse the flames, but were unable to save the man, Barrett said. Crews had measured the fire temperature at 2,000 degrees just prior to the apparent suicide.
Crews recovered the remains after the fire was put out, Barrett said. The man was identified as Salt Lake City resident Christopher Wallace.
Barrett said it was unknown whether drugs or alcohol were involved in the incident. Relatives of Wallace could not immediately be reached on Monday.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Snakemobile in New Mexico

After car stalls, driver finds giant snake under the hood

Eric Pfeiffer 
The Sideshow
 A woman in Santa Fe, New Mexico, had just left her home early Thursday morning when her car suddenly stalled. A good Samaritan pulled over to help, but when he opened the hood of the car he didn’t find a dead battery. Instead, he found a very much living 9-foot, 20-pound python..
“It was looking right at me. It flicked its little tongue, and I kind of freaked out a little bit,” Jackson Ault said of the discovery.
So Ault and the woman, who wasn't identified, called the local police to help. The first officer on the scene wasn’t anymore interested in dealing with the snake (believed to be a Burmese python) than Ault.
But then police Lt. Louis Carlos showed up and the story suddenly became much less frightening and far more adorable.
“Cool, I want to hold it!” Carlos told local affiliate KOAT about his reaction to seeing the snake. “It was easy for me to just go in there, pick her up and hold onto her and let her feel the warmth of my hands and my body.”
After soothing the snake, Carlos called animal control services, which picked up the snake and brought it to the Santa Fe Animal Shelter and Humane Society.
Authorities say the snake is not dangerous and most likely a pet that escaped from its owner’s home. She’s also just a baby, only halfway toward her estimated adult length. They say it almost certainly crawled on top of the car’s engine seeking warmth and shelter.
“We had a lot of fun with the stray python today — everyone wanted to confront their phobias and handle the snake,” reads a post on the Santa Fe Animal Shelter’s Facebook page.
Well, not everyone exactly.
“I’m hesitant to pop my own hood even though that sounds ridiculous,” Ault said.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Fake Deputy Takes Joy Rides in Black Tahoe

PORTLAND, Ore. — An Oregon man impersonated a sheriff's deputy while taking an SUV for a test drive and pulled over a motorcyclist, authorities said.
Anthony McGuire, 39, of Salem was arrested Saturday after the motorcyclist and two employees from the car lot sensed something was off and called real deputies, Sgt. Chris Baldridge of the Marion County Sheriff's Office said Monday.
Baldridge said McGuire visited Good Fellows Auto Sales three days in a row and told workers he was a sheriff's deputy. Each day, he wanted to test drive a black Chevrolet Tahoe.
On the third day, two suspicious employees decided to join the customer for the drive.
Just down the street from the lot, McGuire suddenly lowered the window and yelled at a motorcyclist to pull over. The motorcyclist obeyed and McGuire told him he was being stopped for speeding.
Baldridge said McGuire had no badge or identification, and his manner led everyone else to conclude he might be a fake. The employees from Good Fellows Auto Sales, who could not be reached for comment, told investigators that the motorcyclist had gone around the SUV because McGuire was driving very slowly.
"They said the motorcyclist really wasn't doing anything wrong," Baldridge said. "He was acting for his own safety to get around the slow-moving vehicle."
Baldridge said McGuire confessed to impersonating a deputy and was taken to the county jail. He was charged with criminal impersonation, a misdemeanor.
Baldridge said McGuire did not explain his actions.
Investigators think McGuire might have pulled over other drivers. Anyone who might have been a victim has been asked to call the sheriff's office.
McGuire was released from county jail Monday afternoon. It was not immediately clear whether he had a lawyer, and a court date has not been set.
It was not mentioned whether or not the deputies inspected the man's underwear for suspicious signs.

Public records show he was arrested in December 2011 for unauthorized use of a vehicle. A contemporaneous article in the Albany Democrat-Herald says McGuire allegedly stole a car from the Marion County Courthouse and drove it to an Albany mall.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Spanish Couple Celebrates ATM Withdrawal

Let's hope this ATM doesn't have a withdrawal fee.
This week, onlookers snapped NSFW photos of this couple having sex next to an ATM in Oviedo, Spain, according to the Sun.

A large crowd gathered around and eventually, as Gawker explains, "the cops came before the couple did," but the pair just got a warning, no jail time.

Man Attempts Intercourse with ATM & Picnic Table


(Newser) – This may be the holy grail of weird sex crime stories: Police on Friday arrested a Murfreesboro, Tenn., man who was allegedly trying to have intercourse with a bar's ATM around 9:30pm, the Daily News Journal reports. Per the police report, 49-year old Lonnie Jackson Hutton "pulled down his pants and underwear exposing his genitals" and then attempted to have his way with the Boro Bar and Grill's cash machine. He "then began to walk ‘nude’ around the bar thrusting his hips in the air.” Police were called, and Hutton was told to wait on an outdoor picnic table until the authorities showed up. Then things allegedly got weirder.
Per the report, Hutton then "again exposed himself and engaged in sexual intercourse with the wooden picnic table." He was, somehow, only charged with public intoxication, WGNS Radio reports, having been observed unsteady and with slurred speech. The Smoking Gun reports Hutton had bond set at $250 and has a July 1 court appearance scheduled; he remained behind bars as of yesterday.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

You Dirty Rat!

Arizona man accused of cruelty to rats

BLACK CANYON CITY, Ariz. (AP) — A man is accused of animal cruelty after hundreds of domesticated rats have been found dead or dying in a north-central Arizona travel trailer.
Yavapai County Sheriff's officials say 28-year-old Jeffrey Wendorff was arrested Monday on suspicion of cruel mistreatment of animals and neglect/abandonment of animals.
County Health Services officials say they got a call about numerous rats around a trailer in Black Canyon City.
Sheriff's deputies and county animal control officers say there were between 300 to 500 rats in pens at the front and back of the trailer and the odor was overwhelming.
Inside the trailer, authorities found several aquariums with newborn and adult rats.
Wendorff told authorities he had stopped caring for the rats recently, but had been in a business partnership to breed and sell rats.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Old Time Religion

Utah man sent to jail for fight over church seats

Published June 30, 2014 03:50PM EDT

OGDEN, Utah (AP) — A 52-year-old man accused of punching another man and hitting him with his car in a dispute over pew space in Utah has been ordered to spend 30 days in jail.
The Salt Lake Tribune reports (http://bit.ly/1rD1OLL ) Wayne Dodge was sentenced Wednesday after pleading guilty to a misdemeanor assault charge. He was also ordered to complete an anger management class and pay a fine.
Weber County deputies say the fight happened last June at a Mormon meetinghouse during a crowded service that included a baby blessing and a missionary farewell.
Authorities say Dodge sat in a section that another family had saved in hopes of getting a good view of the baby blessing.
Dodge is accused of punching the man after the service, and striking him with his vehicle in the parking lot.