Tuesday, November 30, 2010

McDonalds - Symbol of the American Dream, Strikes Out

Swastika case another race issue for NM town

Nov 29 2010

TIM KORTE - Associated Press & The Editors of BS

(AP Photo/Farmington Police Department)

An undated photo released by the Farmington, N.M. police shows a swastika shaved on the back of the head of a 22-year-old mentally disabled Navajo man after an April 29, 2010 attack by three animals employed by McDonalds, who are charged with branding a swastika onto the customer's arm before shaving the symbol on his head, and using markers to scrawl messages and images on his body.

FARMINGTON, N.M. — Three friends had just finished their shifts at a McDonald's when they decided to have some fun at the expense of one of their employer's customers. Prosecutors say they carried out a gruesome attack on the customer: They shaped a coat hanger into a swastika, placed it on a heated stove and branded the symbol on the arm of the mentally disabled Navajo man.

Authorities say they then shaved a swastika on the back of the 22-year-old victim's head and used markers to scrawl racist messages and images on his body, including "KKK," "White Power," a pentagram and a graphic image of a penis. It was not immediately clear if the penis was that of a white male or a Navajo man. The disabled Navajo man was unable to defend himself against the brutal, racially motivated acts of the three thugs and no one came to his assistance, taking a "It's not my problem" approach.

The McDonald's thugs have become the first in the nation to be charged under a new law that makes it easier for the federal government to prosecute people for hate crimes. (The attackers claimed they did not hate Navajos, just enjoyed hurting and humiliating them.)

The case was the latest troubling race-related attack in this New Mexico community, prompting a renewed focus among local leaders on improving relations between Navajos and whites.

The 3 thugs have been charged with violating the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act and could face 10 years in prison. The sentences could be extended to life if the government proves the victim was kidnapped.

Federal prosecutors say they were able to bring the case because the 2009 law eliminated a requirement that a victim must be engaged in a federally protected activity, such as voting or attending school, for hate crime charges to be made.

The law also expanded civil rights protections to include violence that is based on gender, disability, sexual orientation or gender identity.

The swastika branding has also put the spotlight back on Farmington, a predominantly white community of about 45,000 residents near the Navajo Nation and is packed with cold-blooded racists.

Farmington 'leaders' had just signed a historic agreement earlier this month with the Navajo Nation in which both sides pledged to work toward improving race relations. The 3 white thugs didn't get the message, or anything else.

The signing ceremony was held at City Hall and included a blessing by a Navajo medicine man who prayed for a strong, stable and long-running agreement, demonstrating the futility of calling on some mystical deity to control thugs like the MacDonald's workers. City officials sat cross-legged on the floor alongside Navajos during the service and had a hard time getting to their feet afterwards. At least two had to be carried out in wheel barrows, putting a damper on the event.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Tijuana - San Diego Drug Tunnel Busted

San Diego drug tunnel had railcar, tons of pot

Nov 27 2010
By ELLIOT SPAGAT - Associated Press and the Editors of BizarreStuff

(AP Photo/U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement)

In this Thursday, Nov. 25, 2010 photo released by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), a task force agent crouches inside a cross-border tunnel that authorities say was used as an underground drug passage, in San Diego. The tunnel found Thursday is 2,200 feet long, more than seven football fields, and runs from the kitchen of a home in Tijuana, Mexico, to two warehouses in San Diego's Otay Mesa industrial district, said Mike Unzueta, head of investigations at U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement in San Diego.

SAN DIEGO — Investigators suspect a major drug cartel was the driving force behind two long, sophisticated tunnels connecting Mexico with the U.S. that were discovered this month along with more than 40 tons of marijuana.

Authorities said an underground passage located Thursday was similar to one found earlier _ both running around 2,000 feet from Mexico to San Diego and equipped with lighting, ventilation, and a rail system for drugs to be carried on a small cart.

The tunnels are believed to be the work of Mexico's Sinaloa cartel, headed by that country's most-wanted drug lord, Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman, said Mike Unzueta, head of investigations at U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement in San Diego.

The tunnel found Thursday is more than seven football fields in length and extends from the kitchen of a home in Tijuana, Mexico, to two warehouses in San Diego's Otay Mesa industrial district.

Three men were arrested in the United States, and the Mexican military raided a ranch in Mexico and made five arrests in connection with the tunnel, authorities said.

U.S. authorities have discovered more than 125 clandestine tunnels along the Mexican border since the early 1990s, though many were crude and incomplete.

The passage found Thursday is one of the most sophisticated to date, with an entry shaft in Mexico lined with cinderblocks and the rail system, Unzueta said.

U.S. authorities do not know how long the latest tunnel was operating. Unzueta said investigators began to look into it in June on a tip that emerged from a large bust of marijuana, cocaine and methampethamine by the San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department.

U.S. authorities followed a trailer from one of the warehouses to a Border Patrol checkpoint in Temecula, where they seized 27,600 pounds of marijuana. The driver, whose name was not released, was arrested, along with two others who went to a residence in suburban El Cajon that had $13,500 cash inside.

"That (trailer) was literally filled top to bottom, front to back," Unzueta said. "There wasn't any room for anything else in that tractor-trailer but air."

Three tons of marijuana were found in a "subterranean room" and elsewhere in the tunnel on the U.S. side, authorities said. Mexican officials seized four tons of pot at a ranch in northern Mexico, bringing the total haul to more than 20 tons.

The discovery of the cross-border tunnel earlier this month marked one of the largest marijuana seizures in the United States, with agents confiscating 20 tons of marijuana they said was smuggled through the underground passage. That tunnel ran the length of six football fields under the border and warehouses in Mexico and San Diego. One of the warehouses involved in the tunnel discovered Thursday is only a half-block away.

In Thursday's discovery, the tunnel's cinderblock-lined entry in Mexico dropped 80 to 90 feet to a wood-lined floor, Unzueta said. From the U.S. side, there was a stairway leading to a room about 50 feet underground that was full of marijuana.

Several sophisticated tunnels have ended in San Diego warehouses. ICE began meeting with landowners last month to warn them about leasing space to tunnel builders.

"These owners of warehouses, they need to know their customers, they need to know who's in there leasing these things," Unzueta said.

TSA at Work to Save Your Money and Your Junk

Nov. 27, 2010

TSA - More money needed to violate your privacy

The embattled Transportation Security Administration announced a bold new plan to increase revenues to purchase more unnecessary equipment to transform the agency into the world's largest voyeur. With a current file of the nude x-rays of more than a million persons, 89% of whom are female, (a statistical fluke according to TSA officials)the TSA is poised to enter the porn market but first needs to acquire more invasive body scanners for the hard core slice of the market which is the most profitable.

To raise money for this enterprise, the TSA is selling provocative and informative new stickers, for your den, your office or your car, for the modest price of $1,500 per sticker. TSA hopes to raise $4.5 billion within the next 3 months.

Sorry it requires a magnifying glass to read some or all of the stickers.

The Graywolf

Friday, November 26, 2010

"Hot" Rodent Creates Stir at Nuclear Power Plant

Nov. 26, 2010

Mouse hunt on for radioactive rodent

Sixty mousetraps have been set at a nuclear plant in the U.S. in an effort to catch a radioactive mouse living on the grounds but so far the rodent has proved illusive. It has been captured on film by one of several cameras strategically placed by someone. (See photo inset)

Earlier this month a radioactive rabbit was discovered at the Hanford nuclear facility in the state of Washington and staff there believe at least one mouse living nearby was contaminated.

Radioactive mouse droppings were found in the same part of the grounds as the contaminated rabbit droppings that led to the discovery of the radioactive rabbit at the site a few weeks earlier.

No one yet knows how the animals were exposed to the radiation but one theory is that both the rabbit and the mouse ate or drank a common source of radioactive material. Another possibility is that the mouse came into contact with the contaminated rabbit droppings. A third conjecture is that the rabbit was a trained animal terrorist seeking to destroy the nuclear facility and enlisted the mouse to assist him or her but this conjecture was rejected by everyone but the conjecturer, who was placed on administrative leave.

A call for a nuclear strike on the plant was deemed premature and reckless but remains an option.

A favorable piece of news was that the radioctive droppings were not found anywhere near parts of the facility that are open to the public, usually visiting school children.

Hard Economic Times in Madagascar Force Resort to Unusual Occupations

(Photo AP Photo / Themba Hadebe )

A Malagasy man, as citizens of Madagascar are known, tries to earn a few piastgres by swallowing snakes in Antananarivo, Madagascar Monday, Nov. 22, 2010. He first swallows the snakes and later pulls them out for reuse. There is great poverty in the island nation as the military has meddled in politics since Madagascar gained independence from France in 1960, and brought the country to economic ruin. About the only sources of income for the Malagasy are ecotourism, vanilla production and the recent discovery of oil. Maybe snake oil will help.

Second Stupid Quotation of the (To)Day, Month, Year, Whatever

Nov. 26, 2010

Must be an overload of pumpkin pie, but the stupid statements just seem to flow out of pompous mouths around this time of year. Here's one in ecospeak, a variant of technobabel. It's from the obscure and virtually unknown economist, Tyler What's-His-Face Cowan, in defense of the TSA's use of full body electronic strip searches at the airport.

"Keep in mind there are significant negative externalities from exploding airplanes."

Above right is an example of some of those "negative externalities" Tyler had in mind. It once was known as the World Trade Center in New York City.

Got that, everyone? And that only adds to the collateral damages.

Stupid Quotation of the Day, Month, Year, Whatever

Nov. 26, 2010

In a continuation of our series Stupid Quotation of the Day, Month, Year, Whatever; while not exactly a quotation we thought it was close enough to warrant inclusion.

The U.S.gun lobby, spearheaded by the National Rifle Association has filed suit in federal court in Lubbock, TX:

"to compel the State of Texas to allow young people between the ages of 18 and 20 years old to buy handguns and carry them concealed in public places."

The next time you're seated in a shopping mall food court next to a Texas teenager with a full body tattoo, pants that are belted beneath his butt, Nazi jack boots, and a baseball cap worn sideways that says: "Charles Manson Rocks," don't say anything to irritate him because concealed in those baggy pants is a fully loaded 9mm Glock, just waiting for the opportunity to blow your head off.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Air Passenger Pissed On And Pissed Off

Somewhere in Michigan
Nov. 23, 2010

Tom Sawyer, a Michigan bladder cancer survivor who wears a urostomy bag that collects his urine says the head of the Transportation Security Administration called to apologize for an airport pat-down that caused the bag to spill its contents on his clothing.

The Michigan man, who requested the pat down be performed in private, was treated to a very rough examination that resulted in the bag being broken where it connects to the stomach and its contents, urine, spilled all over his clothes.

With insufficient time to change clothes, the man was forced to fly to his destination soaked in urine. His seat mates on the flight were "pissed off: by the experience. One female passenger demanded a refund for what she described as a "really pissy flight."

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Sexual Assault in American Airports - The Latest Diversion of the Transportation Security Agency

Nov. 24, 2010

A photographer's lens captures the legally sanctioned sexual assault of an attractive, unsuspected young woman in a so-called security enhancement program put into effect by the U.S. Transportation (In)Security Administration this week. The TSA, which wastes billions of dollars annually fighting last year's threat with ever more intrusive measures that enable TSA inspectors to fondle women (and men) and/or examine their sexual equipment with the so-called black splatter x-rays.

Meanwhile, the TSA announced that all high ranking U.S. officials, dignitaries and others would not be subjected to the same abuse permitted for ordinary people. TSA says it isn't necessary for the high ranking brass but a 78 year-old grandmother is a potentially serious threat and should be strip searched.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Engineer Invents X-Ray Proof Skivvies - Sales Brisk

Man Creates and Sells Thousands of X-Ray Proof Underwear

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Some folks get very nervous at the thought of an unseen TSA agent inspecting their privates before being allowed to fly to Grandma's for Thanksgiving.

So a 52 year-old electrical engineer from New Jersey came up with a solution.

The hi-tech underpants are tungsten-lined with X-ray repelling fibers covering the bingo zone. Now there will be a lot of TSA voyeurs disappointed when they no longer can enjoy their own private peep show of passenger privates. Instead of seeing your goods, the TSA agent will see fig leaves or other designs, maybe a Jesus Fish or an image of Osama bin Laden for the practical jokester passenger.

It remains to be seen if the TSA will ban the new underwear by claiming it interferes with the next body scanning security goal, the body cavity search. Once you're there why not go all the way? Uterus scans for handguns or tumors anyone?

Meanwhile job applications for screener positions at airports deploying the body scanners are expected to skyrocket as voyeurs see the opportunity to exercise their fetish and get paid for it.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Teacher Student Sex Runs Amok At Boys Catholic High School

School Days, School Days Good Old Broken Rules Days

Colonie, New York

In what has become so commonplace it no longer can be considered bizarre, a 42 year-old female teacher (right) at an all boys Catholic High School in Colonie, N.Y. has elevated the genre to new heights and new excesses. The teacher was charged with taking on dozens of male students for sexual acts: in the class room, in the press box, in the hospital bed of one of the boys, in the bleachers, two at a time hand jobs in the back of the school bus, and in her own home, which served as a combination saloon and free brothel. The apparently insatiable teacher let it be known she was available to any of the boys who needed her "special" attention. During a police interview two of the boys provided graphic details of the lengths to which the teacher went to satisfy her lust and that of her young charges. We wanted to reproduce it here but somehow lost it.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Naked Assassin Untalkative

Atlanta, GA

November 21, 2010

Minchillo McLester of Atlanta, GA was found walking down the street, naked, at 5:00 in the morning. He was arrested and charged with murdering his wife of several weeks. The couple had returned from a Halloween party earlier that night.

When asked by detectives why he murdered his new wife Minchillo said they had gotten into an argument.

Not Again. This Is Getting To Be Habit Forming

St. Charles, Fla.

November 21, 2010

A local woman, described as a crackhead, was arrested and jailed for forgery. She called officers back to her cell. When she offered to give one of the officers oral sex for special jail privileges, which he refused, the woman said:

"F*ck you, you white, rabbit-eared, Himalayan monkey-looking motherf*cker. LICK MY PUSSY!"

The officer also declined the second request.

No photos were available of the prisoner or the officer.

It was not known if the woman had an attorney but our best guess is, no.

Hooker Arrested For Stealing Doughnut

Cops: Okla. donut thief offers officer sex

Oct. 15, 2010

BARTLESVILLE, Okla. (AP) — Police say an Oklahoma woman tripled her trouble when she stole a doughnut from someone’s truck, peed in a parking lot and offered to perform a sex act on an officer for money.

File photo - might not be same woman

The 27-year-old Tulsa woman was being held Thursday in Washington County Jail on charges of vehicle burglary, trespassing, indecent exposure and soliciting prostitution. Jail records do not show if she has a lawyer.

The Bartlesville Examiner-Enterprise reports that the truck owner complained to police that the woman stole the doughnut at about 2 a.m. Wednesday. A convenience store clerk asked police to charge the woman because he said she relieved herself outside the store, after eating the donut.

Officer R.S. Detherow says that when he told the woman she was under arrest, she offered to perform a sex act for money.

Major Miscarriage of Justice in Maryland - Judge Loses It.

Md. woman gets 5 years for bridal veil attack

Nov 19 2010

HAGERSTOWN, Md. — A Maryland woman is going to prison for five (5) long and arduous years and for what? What dastardly crime could she have committed to merit a sentence usually reserved for hardened felons, armed robbery, aggravated assault and the like. Melissa Wagaman committed the heinous crime of breaking into her neighbor's house wearing nothing but a bridal skirt and veil.

File photo - may not be the actual woman

Maybe a six months suspended sentence for indecent exposure, or deferred adjudication; but a hardened, humorless, ball-breaking Maryland judge heaped five years of living hell on the shoulders of the 33 year-old woman, time torn from the prime years of her life, for combining the wrong cold medicine with a little bit of marijuana. The mixture caused Ms. Wagaman to hallucinate, imagine wedding bells and to try to rescue her mother from her neighbor's basement where Wagaman believed she had been locked up.

Sure, maybe Wagaman deserves to be punished for her outrageous antics while stoned out of her mind, but five (5) years? The judge is the real felon in this case.

An equally felonious jury, inflamed by a prosecutor who charged Wagaman with everything short of being responsible for the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center, convicted Wagaman of second-degree assault, fourth-degree burglary and reckless endangerment for the February incident that slightly injured Aaron Parrott.

Wagaman broke a dining room window with her own head, causing shattered glass to cut an artery in her neighbor's arm, for which she apologized during the hearing.

The judge threw Wagaman under the bus.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Stupid Quotation of the Day, Month, Year, Whatever


Nov. 20, 2010

As a part of Bizarre Stuff's mission and raison de etre we are proud to announce a new feature: BizarreStuff's Stupid Quotation of the Day, Month, Year, Whatever. In recognition of the surprising amount of bizarre stuff that takes place orally (no, not that kind of bizarre stuff) we mean speaking, talking, saying bizarre things.

There are a lot of stuffed shirts, windbags and just plain "dumbsters" who mouth off about everything, on am almost constant basis. Their words of stupid frequently are carried by the modern media into the 4 corners of the earth, there to assist in the stupification of the general population.

These speakers of stupid come from the highest echelons of industry, banking, insurance, religion, students, and toilet bowl cleansers, to mention only a few.

Some of their stupid utterances go back many years, even centuries. One example is the oft quoted words of the Roman Emperor, Nero, when the City of Rome was burning: "Violin? I ain't got no stinkin' violin."

For our first offering in this exciting new "now and then" series we bring you MOHAMMAD-TAGHI RARBAR, a prominent student leader in the Arab Violence Coordinating Committee (AVCC) and is a member of the Iranian Parliament:

"Satellite TV programs such as those broadcast on Farsi 1 (a comedy and drama broadcast from Dubai) destroy the chastity and honor of our families and encourage the young to take up lovemaking, wine drinking and Satan worship."

We, at BizarreStuff, believe activities such as the above represent the planet's greatest hope to escape the dangers of war, pestilence, disease and the U.S. TSA.

Homophobic Coach Bans Pink Cleats - Player Sues

Student sues after being cut by coach over pink cleats


According to the suit, filed last week in Simpson County Chancery Court, Mendenhall High School football coach Chris Peterson dressed down Coy Sheppard, a 17-year-old senior kicker, during an Oct. 8 football game for wearing the cleats.

Chris Joyner, USA TODAY with assistance from the Graywolf

JACKSON, Miss. — A Mississippi high school student sued his school district, claiming his football coach dismissed him from the team for wearing pink cleats during October's Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

According to the suit, filed last week in Simpson County Chancery Court, Mendenhall High School football coach Chris Peterson dressed down Coy Sheppard, a 17-year-old senior kicker, during an Oct. 8 football game for wearing the cleats. The coach was frothing at the mouth in anger and threatening to go persecute some minorities, who are bringing these pink cleats to our red blooded, all American schools. We don't need no stinkin' pink cleats.

When Sheppard arrived at practice the next week wearing the shoes, Peterson cut him from the squad and threatened to kill him if he ever returned, said an unidentified man whose opinion was sought by no one.

Because students in the Simpson County School District earn academic credit for sports, Coy's graduation could be in jeopardy, because of one dumb-ass coach.

District Deputy Superintendent Tom Duncan said the problem isn't the color of Coy's shoes but that he defied the orders of his coach to take off the shoes. The coach is a Little Hitler and must be appeased or he will get mean and dangerous.

What if the coach ordered him to take off all his clothes? A dumb order is a dumb order = a dumb coach.

The school board announced Wednesday that it will hold a news conference Thursday morning to discuss Sheppard's case in a total waste of time.

"It had absolutely nothing to do with lack of support for breast cancer awareness," Duncan said. He also said the coach told Coy he would be allowed to make up his lost PE credit and graduate on time in a belated attempt to suck up.

The shoes were a present from Coy's 82-year-old great-grandmother, and he wore them in honor of his grandmother and step-grandmother, both cancer survivors, said his mother, JoAnne Sheppard. She said her son, who also plays soccer and works part time, has never been in trouble before. It's that dumb-ass football coach.
Coy apologized and promised to leave the pink shoes at home, but school officials won't budge. They are as dumb as the coach.

Most Mississippi school board members have never read a book and can barely write their name. They have no business running a school district.

Coy's lawsuit asks the court to reinstate him to the football team, clear his record and for any monetary damages to go to the American Cancer Society.

The school district has 30 days from the Nov. 4 filing to respond.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Italian Premiere Criticized For Replacing Penis and Hand

Italy PM replaces penis, angers experts

Nov 19 2010

ROME — Italy's culture ministry on Friday defended Premier Silvio Berlusconi's decision to replace his penis with a substitute, attached by means of magnets. Although Berlusconi may be experiencing E.D. his move has upset art restorers everywhere, who argue that the original penis should remain as is, in the interest of art history and art historians throughout the world. Berlusconi has responded that "as is" is "without" and that it is embarrassing to try to explain to foreign dignitaries why he has no penis in his office.

The outspoken Italian politician has had his share of controversy since taking office. He once confused Madonna, the American singer-entertainer, with the original Madonna and sent her gifts of frankincense, gold and myrrh when she came to Italy on one of her concert tours. The singer was raised in the Catholic faith and followed its teachings until she heard Billy Joel's song, "I Might As Well Be the One," while listening to the radio.

Madonna returned the gifts to the Vatican with the explanation that she had not been a virgin since immediately after listening to Joel's song. "I was converted, on the spot, and immediately began a sexual relationship with a part time drummer and old high school friend," according to her former publicist who was fired for lying to the press.

The ministry, which is led by a close ally of the premier, who was appointed as political patronage payback, said in a statement: "There's no cause for alarm: the hand added to Venus and the penis added to Mars are attached by magnets and can be removed without damage.

For decades, restorers have widely agreed that missing parts of ancient statues should not be recreated.

Rome daily La Repubblica quoted Vatican Museums director Antonio Paolucci, one of Italy's top restoration experts, as saying "it's a pity" restorers didn't say no to Berlusconi's request to add parts to the 2nd century statues in Chigi Palace, the premier's office.

What? What Second century statues? I thought they were talking about the Premier's johnson. No one should be able to dictate what the Premiere does to his own johnson.

Berlusconi's personal architect, a plastic surgeon in Zurich, insisted in an interview with Associated Press Television News that the restoration was justified.

Mario Catalano said the restoration of the missing part was based on scans of "other works with similar poses and with the agreement of the ministry's restorers."

Berlusconi, in a statement, said he, his wife, his first mistress, his second mistress and his current mistress all were delighted with the restoration and looked forward to many hours observing the restored penis...., the hand not so much.

He said the statues were among many ancient treasures relegated to the storerooms of Rome's museums because there just isn't enough space to display everything.

The sculptured pair "would have never seen the light of day" had Berlusconi not decided to have them taken from the storerooms and put in the palace courtyard, Catalano said.

Chigi Palace is also the official residence of Italian premiers, although most of them, including Berlusconi, decide to live elsewhere in the capital while in power. The building, begun in the 1500s and named after Pope Alexander VII of the Chigi family, is used for the premier's official business.

With the restoration it could become where the premier's monkey business is conducted.

In Sight, But Out of Mind - Get It?

New Mexico parking attendants ticket vehicle with dead body 3 times

New Mexico parking attendants ticketed an illegally parked rental SUV three times without noticing the arm of a dead person hanging out of the rear door of the vehicle. One attendant admitted having seen the arm once but thought it was someone working on the vehicle. "The arm didn't look dead to me," he told no one in particular.

Police found the body of a 47 year-old individual in the rear of the vehicle on Nov. 11. The dead person had been reported missing since Nov. 4.

An Albuquerque police spokeswoman, who was unauthorized to speak, said the death appeared to be the result of an accident, a suicide, or murder and the police have closed the investigation. Instead, focus has shifted to the parking attendants who are suspected of being stoned most of the time. But officials said the failure to discover the corpse earlier was no big deal because death had occurred about two weeks previously. They said the attendants' job descriptions did not include the discovery of dead bodies and there are no criminal statutes for failure to notice dead bodies while working or at play.

The identities of the malfeasing parking attendants were withheld, out of concern they would be killed by family members, friends, former lovers or homicidal maniacs.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Justice Served In Attempted Forced Feeding Case

Malodorous Perp, Melissa Williams, Gets 90 Days In Jail
for demand heard ‘round the Internet

NOVEMBER 16--The West Virginia woman who last month pulled a knife on two men and announced, “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat,” pleaded guilty today to assault and was sentenced to 90 days in jail.

Prosecutors had sought a longer sentence for Williams because of the odoriferous and disgusting condition of the item she was demanding be eaten. Williams was scrubbed and deodorized by jail staff prior to making her court appearance.

Her estranged husband did not appear for the sentencing and there were unverified reports he was moving to Alaska.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Florida Used Truck Dealer Offers AK-47's As Incentive To Angry, Violent Buyers

Nov. 15, 2010

A used truck dealership in central Florida is offering an AK-47 assault rifle as an incentive to buy trucks through the end of November.

A Veterans Day promotion at a truck dealership in Florida has become a hot topic around the country. Nation Trucks in Sanford, Florida is enjoying a huge boost in truck sales over the last several days as customers are being lured by the give-away of an AK-47 assault rifle with every qualifying purchase made at the dealership. Customers are given a voucher for the assault weapon, which is valid at a local gun shop. The voucher is also good for other guns and accessories and the purchase of the AK-47 is not required. Customers must pass all mandatory background checks in order to obtain the weapon in accordance with the deal. Convicted felons are eligible to participate in this one time offer.

The promotion has proved so popular that the pastor of a Baptist church in a nearby community has announced plans to offer deadly weapons to all congregants who maintain a perfect attendance record for Sunday services between now and the end of December. "It's a perfect marriage between killing and saving souls," according to the Reverend Jasper Tournikut, who has held similar promotions in the past, once offering blood-stained khaki pants to any congregant giving their hearts to Jesus.

The dealership posted photos on the internet to provide an idea of how well the sale was working out for some people, others not so much. "You can't make everyone happy; some people just have to die," according to a recorded message played to anyone calling the dealership. The owner of the dealership, who asked to remain synonomous, commented: "You hear people all the time saying guns and alcohol don't mix. Well hell, any fool knows that. You ever try to put an AK-47 in a glass full of whiskey,"

People have strong views on these issues and the Florida governor expressed concern that the dealership could be igniting a second civil war. Advertising the give-away of an AK-47 assault rifle may be a great way to draw attention to your establishment, no matter what kind of business you're running. The attention is business but may result in more violent deaths and gang-related shoot outs, according to a spokesman for the Governor who was out shooting skeet at the time. As the sales manager at Nations Truck accurately points out, the majority of his customers are gun owners, so he's marketing his promotion very effectively. Some of our customers are natural born killers.

Guns are legal. Trucks are legal. Alcohol is legal. It only stands to reason that combining the three into a one-stop point-of-purchase for those who love guns, trucks and booze, which is a fairly significant portion of the population, is just good business. The same people who drink a lot of alcohol also drive big trucks and like big guns.

Many people are offended by the mere existence and legality of weapons such as AK-47s. Giving them away as part of a sales promotion seems ridiculous and dangerous, given the destructive power of the weapons. But this is the United States and so long as it does not cause an absolute decline in the population and a shortage of young men and women to fight our wars there doesn't seem like there is much to be alarmed about.

An uninvited and unauthorized spokeswoman for the National Rifle Association said she never met a bad gun, only bad gun owners. "Don't ban guns; ban people," is the advice she offered to anyone who would listen. She was arrested for public intoxication and charged with illegal possession of a loaded hand gun police found in her purse. When contacted for comment, an official with the NRA advised local authorities to "throw her under the bus."

Takayama Hirohito, a Canadian journalist, contributed to this story from Botswana.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Baby Black Hole Eats Its Way Into a Monster

Nov. 16, 2010

Astronomers believe they have witnessed the birth of a black hole, a curious anomaly of the universe that is so dense even light cannot escape its gravitational pull, hence black hole. This one began to form in 1979, on the explosion of a giant star which provided the matter ultimately consumed by the hole, aptly illustrating the expression "eat your heart out." The amount of matter sucked into the hole thus far is roughly equivalent to matter five times the size of the sun. The sun is 109 times larger than the earth. The earth would provide only a small appetizer for the black hole, perhaps only a crumb.

Interestingly black holes are actually white (it is the white circle in the center of the photo above.) The reason they are called black holes is because of the extreme density of their gravitational force, which sucks in everything in sight, which mysteriously disappears deep in the space hole, never to be seen again.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Boobs On Parade - A Civil Rights Quagmire

Mothers sue school for banning their daughters from wearing "I Love Boobies" bracelets

In a protest reminiscent of the ban the bra movement of the 1960's, two well built mothers picketed their daughters' middle school naked from their waists up. A crowd of about 800, mainly male spectators quickly gathered to support the womens' cause.

One of the protesting moms, who works for Victoria's Secret part time without its knowledge, is shown above taking a break from picketing. She has been invited to do interviews with 18 heads of state in Africa and South America.

One man, claiming to be a medical doctor, offered to demonstrate a hands-on mammary examination of the moms to check for any suspicious lumps in the womens' breasts. He was arrested on suspicion of impersonating a medical professional and held without bail pending a hearing set for Feb. 16, 2011. The judge, a woman, was unsympathetic to the man's plea that he was only offering to perform a public service by feeling the womens' breasts. He even offered a free examination to the judge, who sentenced him to 90 days for contempt of court.

Meanwhile, the six male and one female school board was called out by the school superintendent to witness the demonstration in their capacity as school trustees. In a special meeting after witnessing the demonstration, school trustees voted 7 to 0 not to take any action to prevent the women from demonstrating. One trustee observed that in another month or so the women would lose their enthusiasm when their tits were freezing off. The lone female board member reminded him that the appropriate term was "boob" not "tit."

Two or three of the male trustees and the female lesbian trustee indicated they planned to return to the school to refresh their memories in case the matter goes to trial. One of the trustee's planned to take a video camera along because, as he noted, "a picture is worth a 1,000 boobs,..uhh...words."

The two girls had their parents' permission to wear the bracelets but soon found themselves in the principal's office at Easton Area Middle School, the lawsuit states. They were also banned from school dances for a month because their boobs could come in contact with their dance partners. It was not immediately clear which boobs were being referred to, the bracelet boobs or the real thing.

"The First Amendment does not allow schools to censor students' speech merely because some students and teachers are offended by the non-vulgar educational message, and silencing the speakers because other students may react inappropriately would amount to a constitutionally impermissible heckler's veto," the ACLU said in the suit.

"Seeing a bracelet with 'I Love Boobies!' on it is a conversation starter that leads to discussion and awareness of issues affecting young people," the lawsuit said. It also can lead to some more interesting comments.

In discussions between the two sides before the lawsuit was filed, district officials complained the bracelets made some people uncomfortable and had prompted some boys to make inappropriate comments, the suit said. Duh! High School boys making inappropriate comments? That's virtually unheard of. Teen aged boys are docile and obedient.


Man Charged With Semen Attack

Oct 27, 2010
Man Charged For Attacking Woman With Own Semen

The seminal attack took place on the Montgomery College Campus in Takoma Park. The man charged lives near the campus and has a record of indecent exposure in the past.

Oritse Ayu was arrested for committing a bizarre crime. He walked past a woman studying in the library while masturbating. He ejaculated semen onto to the surprised woman's arm.

Turning she saw Ayu's exposed genitals which she later described as inconsequential, a description vehemently contested by Ayu.

Ayu then fled the scene. He was captured by campus police as he tried to run with his erect penis in his hand. His attorney said Mr. Ayu had to urinate and was running to try to get to a toilet before soiling his hand.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Generous Thief Leaves Victim Most of His Money

Thief steals safe, leaves most of cash behind

Nov 14 2010

FAIRBANKS, Alaska — Alaska State Troopers say a thief removed a safe from a west Fairbanks home but took only a fraction of the cash inside.

The safe contained $100,000 but was found in the back yard of the victim's home with just $20,000 missing. $80,000 was left stacked in the yard near the safe. The theft occurred Friday, which really has nothing to do with the story but the editor insisted.

Troopers spokeswoman Megan Peters tells the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner that the safe measured only about a cubic foot and was relatively lightweight.

She says there were no signs that anyone had broken into the house.

Troopers have identified a suspect, probably the wife or girl friend of the owner.

They have not specified the neighborhood where the safe was taken. Peters says they don't want to tell potential thieves where there's a safe with $80,000 in it.

Our guess is there won't be any $80,000 left in the safe any longer. It's headed for a safety deposit box in a real bank with a real safe, safe. Safe, safe......get it? Ha, ha

Stinky Mecca Mosque Fails To Diminish Muslim Ardor

Nov. 12, 2010
Mecca, Saudi Arabia

Vendors outside the entrance to the Grand Mosque in Mecca, Saudi Arabia were doing a brisk business selling scented prayer rugs, deodorants and gas masks to filter out the stench of unwashed bodies who flocked to the shrine in an annual pilgrimage. Temperatures hovered in the low 100's inside the Mosque, which is not air conditioned because it is believed Mohammad, the Prophet, would not have approved. Of course no one knows for sure because there was no air conditioning when Mohammad was alive. But modern Muslim clerics have insisted that the austerity advocated by the Prophet is sufficient proof of what he would have favored in 2010, had he lived that long.

Tens of thousands of Muslim pilgrims are pictured here praying inside the Grand Mosque, during the annual Hajj in Mecca, Friday, Nov. 12, 2010. The annual Islamic pilgrimage draws 3 million visitors each year, making it the largest yearly gathering of people in the world, surpassing the Monterrey Jazz Festival and the American Bikers' As sociation annual gathering at Sturgis, South Dakota.

Hundreds of parked camels, Jeep Wranglers and Lamborghinis added to the stench and general confusion as their owners worshiped inside the Mosque. Saudi Secret Service agents were seen wrestling several shady looking characters to the ground inside the Mosque in a search for explosive devices or contraband goats' milk, highly favored by wealthy Muslim connoisseurs.

Woman Steals Jeep - Boyfriend Sells It For $20

November 10, 2010

Cops - Florida woman nabbed for vehicle theft

A 39 year-old Florida woman, shown right, was arrested and charged with petty larceny in the theft of a pink jeep. After stealing the vehicle, the woman's boyfriend sold the jeep for $20.

When questioned by police why he sold the vehicle for only $20, the man explained that he only needed two dime bags. (of marijuana)

The Barbie model jeep turned out to be the property of a 6 year-old girl who had received it for her birthday. The 6 year-old told cops her uncle had paid $250 for the vehicle and she wanted her jeep back.

The female thief, who bears a close resemblance to the original Barbie, claimed she should have the Barbie jeep because it was made for her.

A representative of Hannah-Barbera, the toy company that makes Barbie dolls and Barbie paraphernalia said she could not comment because her boss was on an extended fishing trip, or because of pending litigation, or because she was not authorized to speak.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Florida Brothers Pioneer Evolutionary Reversal

Nov. 13, 2010

In a reversal of evolution brothers Cory and Dana Foht have taken up residence in trees. The Fohts, 25-year-old twins from Florida, climb about 25 feet up the side of a tall American tree, stretch nylon hammocks between its branches, unroll sleeping bags and, with a few acrobatic moves, squirm into makeshift beds.

The Fohts, who wander the country in a nomadic life, living off discards and scavenged food, may be representative of an incipient movement to prepare for habitat change as the effects of global warming take hold. Others plan to return to the simple life of our immediate ancestors, the great apes, who had no need for underground parking garages, giant shopping malls, theme parks and polluting industries that manufacture useless junk.

Some groups have gone silent, in order to lose the ability to speak, part of a process of diseducation that will render them incapable of recreating the modern world. A spokesperson for one of these groups had nothing to say and said nothing only on condition of anonymity.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Man Forced To Eat Own Beard In Lawnmower Dispute

Man forced to eat beard in mower spat

Nov 12, 2010

LAWRENCEBURG, Ky. — A central Kentucky man says he was forced to eat his own beard after an argument about a lawn mower got out of control. Harvey Westmoreland of Lawrenceburg said that two men cut off his beard, stuffed it into his mouth and forced him to eat it. Westmoreland said the men gave him no hot sauce or any other condiment to make his beard more palatable, only a small glass of water. He indicated it took him more than 6 hours to eat the beard, which he had grown over a period of 8 years. He indicated he plans to file a civil lawsuit against the two men, for "loss of beard," which he valued at $15,000.

Westmoreland said two former friends got angry as they tried to negotiate a price for a lawn mower they wanted to buy from him. He said "one thing led to another, and before I knew it, there were knives and guns and everything just went haywire."

The two men pleaded guilty to charges related to the incident and will be sentenced next week.

Westmoreland complained of passing hair balls when he used the toilet. The mower was not sold to either assailant and Westmoreland said he would not try to resell it because he could be killed by the next potential purchaser.

Manic Oregon Man Goes On Manic Rampage - No One Surprised

Cops: An Oregon man, 46, is shown in a manic rage

Nov. 11, 2010

A military veteran who suffers manic episodes but won't take his meds because of his opposition to drug use, shoved someone into the ground, kicked in the windshield of an occupied car and threw rocks at a woman after jumping out from behind a shrub and scaring the living shit out of her. He was arrested by local police and charged with general mayhem.

The man, whose name is too long to fit here conveniently, looks even more fierce as the result of having all his front teeth knocked out in another episode of manic rage. Because of his aversion to drugs the man is afraid to visit a dentist to restore his teeth, according to someone who claims to know him but refuses to identify himself.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Illinois Woman Assaults Cop With Dildo

Meet Carolee Bildsten. The Illinois woman, 56, was charged with aggravated assault after trying to strike a cop with a sex toy, to wit, a six inch dildo.

After the woman had tried to skip out on a restaurant bill last night, an officer from the Gurnee, Ill. Police Department accompanied her to her apartment, where she claimed to have money to pay the restaurant bill.

When the woman reached inside a dresser drawer to get the purported cash, she instead removed a “clear, rigid feminine pleasure device,” held it above her head, and advanced on the cop “in a threatening manner.” He responded by knocking the sex toy out of the way before he could be struck, a classic defense maneuver.

The sex toy, which was not confiscated by cops out of fear of its previous location, was further described by Deputy Chief Kevin Woodside. The item, he noted, was six inches long and “attached to a nylon harness.” The arresting officer, a suspected uptight Evangelical, had indicated he was not "touching that nasty thing."

In addition to the assault count, Ms. Bildsten was charged with public intoxication and theft of services for allegedly dining and dashing at Joe’s Crab Shack. She is pictured above in a mug shot taken in September following an arrest for drunk driving.

Bildsten, free on a personal recognizance bond, is scheduled for a December 6 court appearance.

Montana Woman Informs Neighbor, Over Coffee and a Cigarette, She Just Beat the Shit Out of Her Husband With a Hammer

Woman faces charges for hammer attack on husband

A Helena man is in critical condition after his wife attacked him with a hammer Tuesday afternoon.

Jill M. Lotter, 50, faces a felony charge of aggravated assault. She was released from jail Wednesday after posting $50,000 bond.

Authorities were alerted to the attack by Lotter’s neighbor at about 1 p.m. Tuesday. According to court documents, Lotter had visited her neighbor and mentioned while smoking a cigarette that she had hit her husband in the head with a hammer.

The neighbor went to Lotter’s home on Independence Drive and discovered the man, identified in documents as M.L., on the living room floor bleeding profusely from head and facial injuries.

Ms. Lotter told medical personnel, family members and investigators she hit her husband “with a hammer multiple times over a period of several hours during an altercation.”

Lewis and Clark County Sheriff Leo Dutton said while it was obvious a fight had ensued, investigators are looking into what led to the assault.

The man was taken to St. Peter’s Hospital. He was subsequently airlifted to Great Falls, where he underwent emergency surgery. Court documents note that he will have to undergo further surgeries for “extensive injuries sustained to his head and face.”

It was not immediately clear if the husband had yet retained a divorce lawyer, or, if he had requested that his wife not be permitted to visit him in the hospital. The Sheriff's office already had suggested spousal visitation should be restricted for the present.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Woman Shoots and Kills Cousin Over Short Shorts and Midriff Top At Easter Dinner

OH woman sentenced in skimpy Easter outfit killing

Nov 10, 2010

Danielle was not available for a photo due to her death. This is a substitute girl.

COLUMBUS, Ohio — An Ohio woman who police say shot a relative to death in a dispute over a skimpy Easter outfit was sentenced to 18 years to life in prison. Evelyn Burgess, 42, of Columbus, pleaded guilty Tuesday to one count of murder in the April 4 death of her 19-year-old cousin, Danielle Pickens.

Prosecutors said Burgess got into a fight with Pickens over the outfit Pickens wore to Burgess' home for Easter dinner _ jean shorts and a tight T-shirt tied up around her midriff that emphasized her boobs.

Burgess "thought the shorts that Danielle was wearing were too short," Assistant Prosecutor Laurie Arsenault said. "She was upset when she thought her husband was looking at them." He was. The 19 year-old cousin was smokin' according to male witnesses who acknowledged looking at her, too.

Burgess chased the hot cousin around the house, kicking and punching her and eventually swinging a baseball bat at her. While family members tried to restrain Burgess, Pickens ran outside and got into a car with her sister, who was unable to start the car.

Burgess broke free of relatives and followed Danielle outside with a 38.-caliber handgun. Burgess pulled the victim by the hair with one hand and fired the gun with the other, the prosecutor said.

The victim's uncle released a statement saying the family had lost two members and the Easter Sunday dinner was ruined. "No one had any appetite after the killing."

South Carolina Man Devises New Technique for Storing Computer Mouse

Mouse Found Lodged Inside Naked Arrestee

NOVEMBER 9--A naked South Carolina man who had a computer mouse lodged in his rectum was arrested Saturday evening after he allegedly burglarized a home and later attacked officers responding to a call about the break-in.

Noah Smith, 24, slapped, kicked, and tried to bite Oconee County Sheriff’s Office deputies, who responded by using pepper spray, a Taser, and their batons to subdue the suspect, according to an incident report.

Deputies noted that Smith, pictured above, later told doctors that he could not recall fighting with law enforcement officers. It was in the hospital emergency room where a “physician noticed a mouse cord hanging from the male subject's rectum. X-rays showed part of the mouse was lodged in the male subjects rectum.”

The police report provides no further insight as to how the mouse ended up inside Smith. Smith declined to comment.

Deputies noted that witnesses concluded that Smith “was most likely under the influence of mushrooms.” Smith was charged with burglary, assault, resisting arrest, and indecent exposure. He is being held without bond in the county jail. The mouse was confiscated by the cops, as potential evidence.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Florida Man Barred From Filing Future Law Suits in Hamilton County

October 25, 2010
Man barred from filing future lawsuits

Stephenie Livingston The Suwannee Democrat

(Might not be the real Joe Griffin)

White Springs — White Spring's officials are breathing a sigh of relief, after a Judge ordered a White Springs man accused of filing numerous 'frivolous' lawsuits over the past decade be prohibited from filing any future lawsuits in Hamilton County.

White Springs Town Attorney Frederick L. Koberlein called the Order to terminate Joe Griffin's right to file lawsuits in Hamilton County, "An extreme remedy, rarely used in Florida."

According to the September 12 order, "In the exercise of the Court's inherent power to prevent abuse of court procedure", Griffin is prohibited from filing, in his own behalf in the Circuit Court of Third Judicial Circuit and in Hamilton County for any cause, any pleadings, petitions, motions, or other papers, wherein he is the plaintiff, or as a petitioner.

In August, the Jasper News reported on the number of ethics complaints and lawsuits filed by Joe Griffin of White Springs against the Town of White Springs and its officials. Griffin has filed five ethics complaints against a White Springs Town official. Records show that Griffin has also filed 18 lawsuits against the Town of White Springs and submitted thousands of public records requests. All of Griffin's ethics complaints have been dismissed before or upon investigation by the Commission. Of the 18 lawsuit, the Town has won 17 of them--with one case pending, according to Town officials.

Last month, the Town seized property in lieu of money owed the town by Griffin as a result of judgments against him as the losing party in the many lawsuits he filed. By court order the town seized computers and other property worth just under $10,000 last week, the amount Griffin owed the town. Shortly thereafter, Griffin paid the amount he owed in full and the town returned his property.

Griffin agreed to the entry of an Order prohibiting him from filing future lawsuits in the County.

Only Unsexy Persons Need Apply As Cops

Nurse found to be too sexy to be a cop

A Norwegian nurse, Cathrine Ashima, who models part time, passed all the medical and fitness tests required to join the police force. But then her application was turned down after an interview panel questioned her work as a nude model.

Police deny Ashima was rejected for being too sexy but because she was dumb generally and didn't understand the role of the police.

But Ashima said an old biddie on the panel had waved her nude photos in her face while remonstrating with her.

Police did tell the nurse that working as a nude model was akin to being a member of a right-wing organisation. Duh?

'It's just terrible political correctness,' Ashima said.

She wants to challenge the board’s decision.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Face Garbage - The Latest in Trendy Fashion Statements

Man displays bold new fashion statement, on his face

Falkland Islands, Nov. 8, 2010

An unidentified man who is basically unidentifiable without the use of a large magnet and a small shrink, declared himself available for marriage or other similar relationship in a secret communique that has been withheld from the public. When asked by a reporter for the Dade County Pickaxe, a weekly publication about mountain climbing and violent assassinations, how he expected to get married or otherwise "hooked-up" with someone if he did not publish his interest, he retorted that "wasn't his problem."

He had a point so it was decided by the reporter to leave it at that. So she did, asking that her name not be used, and this is it. (Broad hint: It's Patti)

Saturday, November 6, 2010

West Virginia Woman Knows What She Wants and Will Kill to Get It

Woman Utters Line Never Previously Recorded In A Police Report

Meet Melissa Lee Williams. The West Virginia woman, 41, is facing assault and weapons charges after allegedly waving a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct with her at a West Virginia motor inn.

The October 22 incident is detailed in an amusing but gross Jackson County Sheriff’s Department report excerpted below.

According to investigators, Williams--who lives four doors down from her estranged husband at the 77 Motor Inn--showed up at his door and asked Danny Williams and another man to “eat my pussy.” At this point, Williams, pictured in the mug shot above, “commenced to undress herself,” reported Deputy Ross Mellinger.

While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by the horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, at this point, “declined to proceed any further.”

This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.” (emphasis supplied)

When Deputy Mellinger arrived on the scene he observed Ms. Williams--who, like the two men, appeared to be intoxicated--standing, nude from the waist down. After pocketing a knife that was on the coffee table in front of the woman, Mellinger arrested her for domestic assault and brandishing a deadly weapon.

Ms. Williams then offered for Deputy Mellinger to satisfy her wants. The Deputy also declined, explaining that he was on duty and could not take time out for recreation

Two-Fer In Montana Violence Spree - To Golf or To Rake Leaves?

Bozeman man being held in jail for assault with golf club

November 2, 2010

A Bozeman man was struck in the head by a golf club wielding assailant outside a Bozeman bar early Monday morning. The golfer is in the Gallatin County jail on $50,000 bond.

The golfer, 21, was charged with assault with a weapon, obstructing a police officer and resisting arrest.

Bozeman Police Sgt. Travis Munter saw three men fighting in a back alley behind the Bozeman Hotel at the corner of Rouse Avenue and Main Street just before 2 a.m.
When the officer intervened, two of the men began shouting that the third man had hit their friend in the head with a golf club. Multiple witnesses relayed a similar story, Munter wrote in his affidavit.

Munter said the golfer then shoved the officer and ran as he attempted to arrest him. The officer caught up with him a couple of blocks away.

The victim, who was taken to Bozeman Deaconess Hospital, said he didn't remember being struck but only waking up in the ambulance. The man was treated and released. No one knows who he was.

Another Bozeman man held for assault with a yard rake

November 2, 2010

In an unrelated occurrence, another Bozeman man, 24, is in jail after he attacked two neighbors with a rake on a second-floor apartment's deck in Bozeman last Saturday.

Phillip George Hollowell was charged with assault with a weapon after his neighbors and he got into an argument around 4:30 a.m. at their apartment building at 1322 S. Willson Ave., police said. No photo of the man was available but you can substitute the above photo whilst imagining the man has a rake instead of a golf club and get the general picture.

One of the victims said Hollowell became agitated because he had had some property stolen and began calling her "obscene names." She threw an empty beer can at the man, who was at ground level, but it did not hit him.

The suspect flew into a rage and grabbed a rake and ran up the stairs and began "jabbing it into her chest," the victim told police.

The male victim was struck in the face with the metal end of the rake as he tried to intervene. He sustained two cuts near his nose and eye, requiring 10 stitches.

Hollowell told police he "threw a rake up onto the deck towards both victims" and the rake "might have hit someone." His story was not very believable.

So Hollowell was jailed and held on $40,000 bond.

Low-Life Florida Grandmother and Boyfriend Try To Sell the Grandmother's Infant Grandson, For $30,000

Cops: Fla. woman tried to sell grandson for $30k

Nov 06 2010

(AP Photo/Volusia County Sheriff)

This undated image provided by the Volusia County Sheriff shows the booking photo for Patty Bigbee the Florida woman and her boyfriend who have been charged with trying to sell her infant grandson for $30,000.

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. — A Florida woman and her boyfriend have been charged with trying to sell her infant grandson for $30,000.

Florida Department of Law Enforcement agents arrested 45-year-old Patty Bigbee and 42-year-old Lawrence Works on Friday in Daytona Beach after they met with an agent posing as a buyer. Both were charged with illegal sale or surrender of a child, and Bigbee was also charged with communication fraud.

FDLE agent Wayne Ivey said an investigation began last month after an informant told authorities the woman was trying to sell the baby. Authorities say the woman originally wanted $75,000 but was talked down to $30,000.

The child's mother is currently incarcerated on unrelated charges. She apparently was uninformed of the intended sale but told prison authorities she could use the money

The infant has been turned over to child welfare officials.

Authorities said they didn't know if Bigbee or Works had an attorney.

Several Courthouse lushes and hangers-on described the Grandmother as a "real looker." Arresting officers described the woman as more of a hag. You be the judge. "Looker or Hag?" Cast your vote as a comment to the post. The votes will be tallied and the winner awarded NOTHING. This is a shoestring blog.

Multi-Tasking Fool Filmed Endangering Himself and 1,000s of Other Motorists

Dangerous multitasking driver reads, phones and plays with a Kindle

From Newslite.tv - Odd News

Friday, November 05, 2010

A driver in the U.S. was filmed recently driving 60 mph, while reading a book,answering his cell phone and playing around with a Kindle reading device.

In the video the cameraman can be heard commenting that the man is reading a book -- which he has lodged between the steering wheel and dash -- while driving.

Then, as they film him, he pulls out a Kindle eBook reader… quickly followed by a mobile phone. Causing them to burst out with laughter.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Asian Master of Disguise Fools Officials in Hong Kong and Canada

Man uses unbelievable disguise to enter Canada, seeking asylum

Nov 05 2010

(AP Photo/Canada Border Services Agency)

A young Asian man disguised himself as an elderly white male and successfully boarded a flight to Vancouver, Canada, seeking refugee asylum.

An internal intelligence alert from the Canadian Border Service describes how the man boarded the flight in Hong Kong on Oct. 29 wearing a remarkable silicone mask that made him look like an elderly man.

A Canadian government official provided the document Friday on condition of anonymity as the official was not authorized to release it publicly.

The passenger began the flight as an "elderly Caucasian male who appeared to have young looking hands," the CBSA bulletin said. During the flight the man went to the washroom and came out as a young Asian male who appeared to be in his early 20s.

The man carried a bag that contained a "disguise kit which consisted of a silicone type head and neck mask of an elderly Caucasian male, a brown leather cap, glasses and a thin brown cardigan."

The man later admitted to officials he had boarded the flight with the mask on and had removed it several hours later. It is believed the man and another man performed a boarding pass swap. A government official said a U.S. passport was also involved.

Chris McCluskey, a spokesman for Public Safety Minister Vic Toews, said a man is in detention and said the matter is before Canada's Immigration and Refugee Board. A spokeswoman for the Immigration and Refugee Board declined comment.

Air Canada also confirmed a passenger on board flight AC018 had been met by border services officials in Vancouver.

"It should be noted that there are multiple identity checks before departure at the Hong Kong international airport, including Chinese government-run Hong Kong passport control, which Hong Kong originating passengers must undergo," according to an Air Canada spokeswoman. Apparently, all of these security checks failed miserably.

What it means for the rest of us is that the extremely high priced, intrusive, cumbersome, annoying and time wasting system of passenger identification is a colossal waste of time and resources. It should be jettisoned and forgotten.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

A Girl's Got To Make a Living, Doesn't She?

Oldest Crack Dealer in America Headed to Slammer To Celebrate Her 89th Birthday

The oldest crack dealer in the nation was rewarded with 18 months in prison for her latest escapade. 87 now, Ola Mae Agee was sentenced this week to 18 months in prison. She will turn 89 before she is released.

Ola Mae Agee was convicted at trial this week of a felony charge of selling cocaine to an undercover cop in Florida. Agee was collared in May for selling crack from her Pensacola home. The transaction was videotaped by investigators with the Escambia County Sheriff's Office.

It took a jury all of 20 minutes to convict her. The octogenarian is shown here in a police photo snapped after she was taken into custody following the October 26 verdict.

Copycat Breathalizer Scam in Nebraska Goes Sour

Dumb Teenager Dressed As Breathalyzer Busted For Drunk Driving

Matthew Nieveen, 19, was busted early Monday for DUI and being a minor in possession of alcohol. Nieveen, pictured in the police photo, left, was arrested when a Lincoln cop pulled over his Ford F-150 for driving erratically. Though cops identified Nieveen, they decided to black out his face in a photo snapped post-arrest. His dad is probably a local city council member or has some other local pull.

Nieveen boasted a blood alcohol level double Nebraska's .08 limit. Cops also found a bottle of vodka and beer in his truck.

Last Halloween, an Ohio college student wearing a similar Breathalyzer costume (Photo above right) was busted for drunk driving and underage drinking. His face was not blacked out by cops, suggesting his dad was a nobody.

It was believed that Nieveen's actions were a copycat of the Ohio crime, though there is no known connection between the two men. An unauthorized spokesperson for no one in particular said this marked the beginning of a nationwide trend in faking breathalizer machines.

Jack The Ripper - 1888

JACK THE RIPPER - Man of the people.

Much has been written about the bizarre activities of London's infamous Jack the Ripper, a serial killer of prostitutes in the impoverished White Chapel district of London in the late 19th century. The murders involved slitting the women's throats and sometimes removing abdominal body parts. Jack plied his trade in the backstreets and alleys of London's poorer districts and struck terror in the hearts of women everywhere. As many as 13 and as few as 5 gruesome killings have been attributed to Jack, but he never was caught and the murders remained unsolved.

Manchester Guardian
14 November 1888

"THE ATROCITY IN WHITECHAPEL -- The Assassin Again Described"

George Hutchinson, formerly a groom and now a labourer, who was acquainted with the murdered woman, says he saw Kelly about two o'clock last Friday morning at the corner of Thrawl-street, Commercial-street. He noticed a man accost her, and the pair walked to Miller's Court, followed by Hutchinson, who stared right in the man's face. Hutchinson heard Kelly say she had lost her handkerchief, whereupon her companion took a red handkerchief from his pocket and gave it to the woman. They went into Miller's Court together, and some time afterwards Hutchinson also went up the court, stayed there a couple of minutes, and seeing no light in Kelly's room he returned to Dorset-street. He remained about the place three-quarters of an hour, and then went home. Hutchinson says the man was about 5ft. 6in. in height, aged about 35, dark complexion, and dark moustache; he wore a long black cloak, trimmed with astrachan (sic), white collar and black tie, and had a considerable amount of jewellery (sic) on his person. This description exactly tallies with one already furnished the police, who are now confident they are on the track of the murderer.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Los Angeles Man Tries To Avoid Paying Child Support - To Spend Life in Prison Instead or Be Executed

Nov. 1, 2010

Hole in wall made by vehicle - left

Los Angeles

Cops say man rammed truck into house of girlfriend killing her and 10 day-old baby

An angry Los Angeles man, Eduardo Villareal, 21, drove his truck through the front wall of a house where his girlfriend, 19, and her 10 day-old baby were staying, killing both. Another, 3 year-old child from a previous assignation of the woman was unharmed. No reason for the attack was given by the driver and the two victims were unable to supply any information about the boyfriend's motives because they were dead.

The couple had argued about child custody and Villareal threatened to kill himself.

An unauthorized and unofficial spokesperson for the LAPD, with no authority to speak, said he believed the driver did not want to be required to pay child support.

It could not immediately be determined if Villareal has an attorney to refuse to answer calls.

Hey, get your hand out of my ass.

Nov. 1, 2010

This week, the TSA announced airline passengers can be subjected to invasive body searches including the open hand touching of breasts and genitals. When combined with the equally invasive airport screeners (see pic) it's virtually the same as requiring all passengers to strip naked and be fondled by a same sex security worker.

Former cop Bill Richardson pointed out that the pat-downs could actually help terrorists walk onto planes undetected. The American flying public is not going to accept being ordered to bend over and "spread em" so a same sex airport security guard can shove his or her hand up their butts in search of a concealed weapon. But that's where such weapons are most likely to be concealed.

Once again, the TSA strikes out in its bumbling attempts to buffalo innocent airline passengers going to visit their relatives for the holidays to submit to largely ineffective but embarrassingly intrusive searches of their bodies, under the false guise of protecting them from terrorists.

The editors of BizarreStuff suspect a lot of young, large breasted female passengers are in for a taste of legalized fondling, in addition to no food.