Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Arizona Man Impales Own Head On Garden Shears

Aug 31 2011

By AMANDA LEE MYERS - Associated Press

A July 30, 2011 file image provided by the University Medical Center in Tucson, shows a CT scan of a pair of pruning shears embedded in the head of an 86-year-old Leroy Luetscher of Green Valley, Ariz., before it was removed by surgeons in Tucson, Ariz. At right is Leroy at home.

PHOENIX — Leroy Luetscher could feel the pruning shears jutting from his face as he tried to determine just what had happened to him after trimming the plants in his backyard and then falling face-first.

At 86, Luetscher was covered in blood and in more pain than he'd ever felt in his life. One of the shears' handles had gone into his right eye socket and halfway into his head.

Coping with excruciating pain that he believes kept him conscious, Luetscher managed to put his T-shirt over the wound to stanch the bleeding and beckon his longtime live-in girlfriend, who called 911.

"I didn't know if my eyeball was still there or what," Luetscher, who lives in southern Arizona's Green Valley, told The Associated Press on Tuesday. "The pain was so bad that I guess I wasn't afraid to die."

Luetscher, a Wisconsin native, has made a remarkable recovery since the July 30 accident. He still has slight swelling in his eyelids and minor double vision, but is otherwise OK.

Doctors who removed the shears and rebuilt a bone in Luetscher's eye socket say it could have been much worse.

"He's was very lucky that it missed all vital structures and we were basically able to put him back together," Dr. Lynn Polonski said.

After Luetscher's girlfriend, Arpy Williams, called 911, an ambulance rushed him to University Medical Center in Tucson, where a team of surgeons took scans of his brain and came up with a plan to treat him.

They learned the shears' handle had gone 6 inches into Luetscher's head and was resting against the carotid artery in his neck.

"It was a bit overwhelming," said Polonski, one of Luetscher's surgeons. "It was wedged in there so tightly, you could not move it. It was part of his face."

Polonski said the team made incisions underneath his right upper lip and his sinus wall, allowing them to loosen the handle of the pruning shears with their fingers. "Once we were able to loosen it up, it went fairly easily," he said.

Doctors rebuilt Luetscher's orbital floor with a titanium plate and put him on antibiotics for 20 days to stave off an infection that could have proved fatal.

Polonski said so many things could have gone much worse for Luetscher. The shears could have ruptured his eye ball, hit his brain or severed his carotid artery.

"You know, if it went a little bit in a different direction, it basically could have killed him or he could have had a stroke," Polonski said.

Polonski said he's never seen anything like Luetscher's injury in his 13 years as a surgeon.

Luetscher said he was born and raised about 30 miles outside Madison, Wis., and worked as an executive in the dairy industry before retiring to Arizona in 1998.

He said he's not sure he'll be doing much more gardening in the future.

"If that instrument had gone in any direction different than it did, I would have bled right there to death," he said

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Puny Irene Unable To Capsize Small Sailboat

MIAMI — Forecasters say storm warnings for the East Coast have all been called off and that former Hurricane Irene is headed into Canada with paltry 50 mph winds.

The National Hurricane Center said late Sunday that tropical storm warnings are still on for the south coast of New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. But no one was taking these seriously.

Irene which had at one time been a major hurricane as it headed toward the U.S., no longer had tropical characteristics.

It left behind heavy rains and severe flooding from North Carolina to New England.

But in the end it was but a 'punk' storm.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Cuban Man Takes Kinky Sex To A New "Digital" Level

Cuban man '24' proud of his 4 extra fingers, toes

Aug 26 2011 FERNANDO GONZALEZ - Associated Press

(AP Photo/Javier Galeano)

In this photo taken Wednesday Aug. 24, 2011, Yoandri Hernandez Garrido, 37, known as ''Twenty-Four'' shows his 12 fingers in Baracoa, Guantanamo province, Cuba. Hernandez is proud of his extra digits and calls them a blessing, saying they set him apart and enable him to make a living by scrambling up palm trees to cut coconuts and posing for photographs in this eastern Cuban city popular with tourists. Known as polydactyly, Hernandez's condition is relatively common, but it's rare for the extra digits to be so perfect.

BARACOA, Cuba — They call him "Twenty-Four." Yoandri Hernandez Garrido's nickname comes from the six perfectly formed fingers on each of his hands and the six impeccable toes on each foot.

Hernandez is proud of his extra digits and calls them a blessing, saying they set him apart and enable him to make a living by scrambling up palm trees to cut coconuts and posing for photographs in this eastern Cuban city popular with tourists. One traveler paid $10 for a picture with him, Hernandez said, a bonanza in a country with an average salary of just $20 a month.

"It's thanks to my 24 digits that I'm able to make a living, because I have no fixed job," Hernandez said.

Known as polydactyly, Hernandez's condition is relatively common, but it's rare for the extra digits to be so perfect. Anyone who glanced quickly at his hands would be hard-pressed to notice anything different unless they paused and started counting.

Hernandez said that as a boy he was visited by a prominent Cuban orthopedist who is also one of Fidel Castro's doctors, and he declared that in all his years of travel he had never seen such a case of well-formed polydactyly.

"He was very impressed when he saw my fingers," said Hernandez, who is the only one in his family to be born with extra digits.

In a part of the world where people's physical traits are often the basis for nicknames _ even unflattering ones like "fatty" or "shorty" _ "veinticuatro" ("twenty-four" in English) is not an insult but rather a term of endearment, and Hernandez, now 37, said his uniqueness has made him a popular guy. He has a 10-year-old son with a woman who now lives in Havana, and his current girlfriend is expecting his second child.

"Since I was young, I understood that it was a privilege to have 24 digits. Nobody has ever discriminated against me for that," he said. "On the contrary, people admire me and I am very proud. I have a million friends, I live well."

Nevertheless, it occasionally caused confusion growing up.

"One day when I was in primary school, a teacher asked me how much was five plus five?" Hernandez recalled. "I was very young, kind of shy, and I didn't say anything. She told me to count how many fingers I had, so I answered, "12!"

When the teacher corrected him Hernandez held up his hands and told the teacher to count them herself. She "wigged out" and left the school, permanently.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Hang 'Em High - Texas Still Busts Cattle Rustlers With Gusto

Texas man gets 99 years for cattle rustling

Aug 25 2011

BETSY BLANEY - Associated Press

LUBBOCK, Texas — An East Texas man with a prolific cattle rustling history spanning more than a decade has been sentenced to 99 years in prison for swindling bovines from a Mississippi rancher.

Carl Wade Curry, 44 from Athens was accused of stealing 400 head of cattle worth more than $200,000 last year.

District Attorney Staley Heatly says Curry placed an order with a Mississippi man using a fake name and cattle company in Vernon, where the owner shipped the cattle. The owner contacted authorities when he didn't receive payment.

A jury in Hardeman County took less than 30 minutes to both convict and sentence Curry on Wednesday evening. In the deal Curry used the name Earnest Jackson.

"He was going to mail me a check and he didn't," rancher David Sanders of Starkville, Miss., said. "Then he was going to Federal Express it to me. Didn't happen."

Sanders had already shipped the cattle to a non-existent address in Hardeman County. When Sanders didn't get paid he called the Texas and Southwestern Cattle Raisers Association. A special ranger with the association located the animals before they were sold.

"They really put their noses to the grindstone and got this guy good," Sanders said.

Testimony at Curry's trial revealed he had stolen 2,097 head of cattle worth nearly $1 million since 2007, Heatly said.

Curry represented himself at the trial but had stand-by counsel by John Weigel, who did not return a call for comment Thursday.

These Texans take their cows seriously, even when they are from Mississippi.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Cool, Comfy, Satin Caskets Make Good Beds For The Homeless

2 intruders found sleeping in funeral home caskets

Aug 23 2011 02:35PM EST

BRISTOL, Tenn. — Police in Tennessee were called to a funeral home where workers found two intruders sleeping inside caskets.

The employees at Weaver's Funeral Home in Bristol called police around 10:30 a.m. on Tuesday after finding two men asleep in caskets. The men fled through a window after police were alerted, the Bristol Herald Courier reports (

One man escaped, but police caught and arrested Barrett Lance Hartsock, who was charged with burglary and vandalism over $1,000.

Police said there was more than $9,000 in damage done to the caskets the two men were sleeping in. "Those caskets cannot be reused for fresh corpses," according to a mortician, "they now have the smell of life about them."


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Greek Doughnut Cartel Busted Amid Rampant Violence

Greek police smash violent doughnut ring

Published - Aug 23 2011 04:38PM EST

THESSALONIKI, Greece — It took an undercover operation, but Greek police have blown a hole in a ring of alleged crooks who had cornered the doughnut market in a beach resort.

It started with complaints that two Bulgarian men and a former Greek wrestling champion were using violence to choke off the trade by other doughnut vendors on Paliouri beach in the Halkidiki peninsula near Thessaloniki.

So undercover police penguins posed as doughnut sellers, police said Tuesday, and were attacked, leading to the arrest of the three aggressive doughnut sellers.

As a result, they have been charged with blackmail and fraud. They also were charged with food safety violations after police found they had stashed their product in an abandoned hotel that was open to the elements and used by bathers as a toilet.

Several rival vendors were found dead, their throats stuffed with stale doughnuts. Greek police have described the ring as one of the biggest threats to Greek national security in decades. These penguin cops saved the day.

Huntington Beach Hooliganism

SpongeBob Squarepants Artist Sent 'Martial Arts' Goons to Attack CA Woman?

Stephanie Rabiner, August 18, 2011

Margaret Howell, a gallery owner in California has sued Todd White, a former lead animator on SpongeBob Squarepants, accusing him of orchestrating an attack on her Huntington Beach gallery in an attempt to take over her business.

The lawsuit seeks $5.5 million from the SpongeBob artist, who allegedly hired four "martial arts experts" to physically assault, rob, and threaten Howell, even though she has been a supporter of his artwork, selling his paintings and drawings in her gallery.

According to the lawsuit, late on August 2, Todd White, accompanied by four goons, his attorney and agent (who also happens to be his martial arts sparring partner), entered the gallery, which the OC Weekly reports is located in the Hyatt Regency Huntington Beach.

The men allegedly locked Howell in her office while they took over the space, stealing paintings, client lists, and inventory records.

She also claims that the SpongeBob artist threatened to harm her family if she reported the incident to police and did not vacate her gallery by August 16th, reports the New York Observer.

Howell is seeking compensation for property damage and theft; emotional distress; false imprisonment; and assault. She also has requested punitive damages.

There's really not much to say about these allegations except that, if they turn out to be true, Howell will certainly be able to recover a hefty jury award in light of the harsh circumstances and future threats to her family.

However, between the alleged martial arts experts and the location of the gallery (a large hotel), one has to seriously wonder if the allegations against SpongeBob artist Todd White are true, or if they have been blown out of proportion.

Indiana Man Runs Amok - Brain Fark Suspected

Man fatally stabs scoutmaster, 76, from behind

Published - Aug 22 2011 03:00PM EST

By KEN KUSMER - Associated Press

(AP Photo/Indiana State Police)

An undated image provided by the Indiana State Police shows Shane C. Golitko. Golitko is being held in connection with the stabbing death of assistant Boy Scout leader Arthur Ld. Anderson.

INDIANAPOLIS — As a 76-year-old scoutmaster led two young charges on a nature hike, they stopped to identify a tree -- a pause authorities say put them in the path of a man who emerged from a nearby home with a 12-inch knife and stabbed the group's leader, leaving him to bleed to death on the trail.

The attack Sunday afternoon on the Nickel Plate Trail in Bunker Hill, 60 miles north of Indianapolis, killed Arthur Anderson, a scouting volunteer for 50 years who also mentored young computer whizzes at Kokomo High School and held a patent for an electrical device.

Authorities say that after approaching Anderson from behind and stabbing him without provocation, 22-year-old Shane Golitko returned to the home where he had earlier assaulted his mother, breaking her arm, and stabbed his two dogs, killing one of them. He fled in his mother's Jeep, leading police on an eight-mile chase before he was arrested.

Authorities said it wasn't clear what set Golitko off, and neither drugs nor alcohol were involved.

"It was a senseless act," said Indiana State Police Detective Tony Frawley, who had stated in a court affidavit that Golitko told him "that the reason he got the knife from his bedroom was to `stab the guy with the gray hair.'"

Golitko, who is charged him with murder and two felony counts of battery, is being held without bond in the Miami County Jail in Peru pending a Thursday court appearance in Miami Circuit Court. The prosecutor's office did not yet know of an attorney representing Golitko, and no one responded to a call to his home.

His mother, Valerie Henson, 48, had called police Sunday afternoon to say she had fled to a neighbor's home after an argument between her and her son escalated and he "kicked and punched her multiple times," Frawley's affidavit said. She was treated for a broken arm.

Golitko went to his room for the knife, then walked outside 150 yards to the trail "to the area where he had previously seen a male subject with `gray hair,'" Frawley said.

Anderson, assistant scoutmaster of a troop based at Redeemer Lutheran Church in Kokomo, was leading two scouts, ages 11 and 12, on a required 5-mile nature hike, accompanied by another man, authorities said. The group had stopped on the trail to discuss the tree. Anderson was attacked from behind, Indiana State Police Sgt. Tony Slocum said.

"He was doing probably the most innocent thing he could do, leading a group of Boy Scouts, and he was in the wrong place at the wrong time," Slocum said.

The other man in the group, Chee Lee, shielded the boys from the attack, then called police a minute after Henson's call, the affidavit said.

Another witness, a neighbor living near the trail, brought out a shirt and applied pressure to Anderson's neck wound, Slocum said, but the scoutmaster died at the scene.

Golitko, the affidavit said, returned home, "stabbed his two dogs with the same knife, wiped the knife clean, and returned the knife to his bedroom," the affidavit said. He began breaking windows and destroying things in the home, authorities said in the affidavit, then left in the Jeep. After his arrest, he spat on a jail officer, which led to the second battery charge.

Miami County Prosecutor Bruce Embrey said Golitko was arrested once before as an adult in Miami County, for possession of marijuana. He went through a diversion program in which the crime was reduced to a misdemeanor.

Golitko also was arrested for assault in Belmont County, Ohio, in July 2010 but the charge later was dismissed, court records show.

Paco Solis, who succeeded Anderson as scoutmaster of their troop, described his friend Monday as "a great man" who was a mentor in the community and volunteered with a robotics team at Kokomo High School in addition to his work with the scouts.

Monday, August 22, 2011

National Boob Freedom Alert

Bare-breasted activists parade through NYC for "Go-Topless Day"
Published - Aug 22 2011

Howard Portnoy, NY Headlines Examiner

Chanting "Free your breasts, free your mind," some three dozen activists paraded around Columbus Circle yesterday to demonstrate on behalf of national "Go-Topless Day."

Similar demonstrations took place elsewhere in the country, with women demanding that lawmakers abolish primitive codes that prohibit them from making a clean breast of it in public.

As in previous years, the women had their ample share of male supporters, many of whom joined in the parade, though some merely stood on the sidelines gawking.

In New York, state courts have ruled that women can go topless in public, as long as it's not for commercial enterprise.

New Jersey resident and protester Andrea Sestanovich, 20, said she doesn't understand why society is so uptight about women's desire to bare their breasts, adding that she enjoyed feeling the breeze against her own.

Men were praying for tens of thousands of additional women to join their sisters and unleash their boobies in a sea of mammaries.

News From The Coast - California That Is

Aug. 22, 2011

Surf City, CA (nka Huntington Beach)

What a relief from the scorching heat of Texass. The mid-afternoon temp here is 76 degrees and you need a sweater to walk along the windswept beaches. Who knows why half the U.S. population has not moved here.

My estimate is that the current average number of visible square inches of tattooed skin per person in California is 22-24. Who knows what lies behind the clothed areas of the body?

I saw a straight young Cal. woman today with a tattoo of a naked woman on her arm. The photo included here is a sample.

Twenty to twenty-fice years from now, California will be a dermatalogical paradise, unless, as a man, you don't mind seeing a tattoo on your woman's pubis that reads, "Ralph was here, too." Or, if a woman, you don't care that your main squeeze has a tattoo on his manhood that says 'Wendy' and your name is Susan.

Anyway, it's a gas just to walk around and people watch here in California.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Editor In Hiatus

Aug. 28, 2011

Your editor-in-chief ventured out into La La Land, California, home to a lot of crazies and way cool bizarre folks. I've been here about 8 days and have been on the lookout for some really bizarre West coast live action to report although I've had some technical difficulties getting the stories to publish.

We hope our co-editor, Clavin, has been able to pick up the slack some during my absence if he has had the time.



Thursday, August 18, 2011

Well Meaning Cat Freaks Blow It

Pennie And Steve Lefkowitz Charged With Animal Cruelty After Nearly 700 Cats Seized


Pennie and Steven Lefkowitz have been charged with 47 counts of animal cruelty after authorities discovered and seized 697 felines that the couple was hoarding at their Florida animal shelter.

The Humane Society of the United States called the June 7 raid on Alachua County's Haven Acres Cat Sanctuary "the largest case of cat hoarding the organization has ever seen."

Pennie, 59, and Steven, 65, were charged with 46 counts regarding the cats and one additional count for a rooster, all third degree felonies.

State Attorney Bill Cervone said that the couple actually had their hearts in the right place before they became overwhelmed by caring for the mass of cats.

“These people started out well intentioned ... but they were in way, way, way over their head. I am optimistic we will be able to resolve something with them that will address the mental health issues that I believe they have and prevent a recurrence.”

Pennie made a similar point in an earlier interview.

"I was just tired of seeing so much euthanasia and wanted to know what we could do personally," she said in June, according to MSNBC.

They probably used 400 pounds of cat litter a week.

An adopt-a-thon is scheduled for Aug. 26-28.

Drunk Depardieu Can't Hold Water - Pees On Plane

Aug. 18, 2011

French actor Gerard Depardieu, while seated on an Air France jet, couldn't wait for take off and the remove seat belt sign. So he stood up and pissed on the floor of the jet, causing it and its passengers a two hour delay whilst the aircraft was returned to the gate for cleaning.

The airline laughed off the incident. Angry passengers were less amused.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Man Sexually Aroused By Wal-Mart

"When He Comes To Walmart He Comes."
Man busted for penis exposure offers novel explanation

AUGUST 10--A Louisiana man arrested yesterday for driving around a Walmart parking lot with his penis exposed explained to cops that “he gets aroused” when visiting the retail giant, according to a police report.

Travis Keen, 28, was busted on an obscenity charge and booked into the Ouachita Parish jail, where he is being held in lieu of $5000 bail.

Keen, pictured in the mug shot, was collared after a witness reported to police a man driving a Ford Taurus drove past him “with his penis exposed.” The witness, who tailed the Ford as it drove around a Walmart parking lot in Monroe, hoping to see the penis again, told cops that when the suspect “saw a female in the parking lot he would stop and watch them.”

When Officer Colby Spillers confronted him, Keen reportedly “stated he did have his penis out because of past experiences he had at Wal-Mart. Keen stated when he comes to Wal-Mart he gets aroused.”

Thankfully, Keen did not further detail what it was about the retailer that so turned him on. Perhaps it was just the people of Walmart.

Florida, Again - Woman Assaults Girlfriend With Sex Toy - A Strap-On

Woman Tries To Assault Girlfriend With Sex Toy
Cops: Florida perp, 21, threw strap-on at roomie during beef

AUGUST 16--A Florida woman is facing a felony domestic violence charge after she allegedly tried to strike her girlfriend last night with a “female sex toy,” according to a police report.

Responding to a call of an aggravated assault with a knife, a cop interviewed Tamara Cadet and Jantavia Taylor about a confrontation in the Bradenton home they have shared for more than a year.

Cadet, 23, told the investigator that she and Taylor, 21, “became involved in an argument and that Ms. Taylor then grabbed a knife from an unknown location and began to chase her with it.” Fearful of being injured, Cadet said she fled the couple’s home and ran a block before Taylor stopped chasing her.

But when Taylor spoke to a Bradenton Police Department officer, she denied chasing Cadet with knife in hand, instead noting that “the only thing that she threw at Ms. Cadet trying to strike her was a female sex toy (Strap on Penis).”

Further police investigation determined that, “The sex toy was located across the street in the yard of another residence.” In his report, Officer Joshua Small noted that the weapon used in the alleged domestic assault was categorized as “other.”

Pictured in the above mug shot, Taylor, who works at Popeyes, is being held at the Manatee County jail, where bond has not been set.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Dumb And Dumber Ride The Waves In An Elevator

Two men almost drown by taking elevator into flooded basement

Not the actual elevator>>>

Two workmen on Staten Island nearly drowned when they took an elevator down into a basement flooded by heavy rains that inundated the New York area over the weekend

The pair tried to move construction materials down to the lowest floor, without first determining that water in the basement was rising.

One of the men told reporters he thought they were dead.

In water up to their waists, the men managed to hold a cellphone through a ceiling hatch to get a strong enough signal to call 911.

By the time fire rescuers arrived, the water was up to their necks.

They finally escaped to safety on a ladder firefighters pushed into the flooded elevator car.

Why Lawyers Make The Most Exciting Sexual Partners

Police Arrest Attorney Accused of Challenging Live-In Girlfriend to a Naked Sword Duel

Aug 15, 2011
By Martha Neil

An argument with his live-in girlfriend over what she claimed was his excessive drinking led to worse trouble last week for a Florida defense attorney.

Terry Lee Locy, 36, was arrested Thursday at Cape Canaveral Hospital in Cocoa Beach after an early morning fight Wednesday in which he allegedly, while naked, challenged his live-in girlfriend to a duel, handing her a sheathed sword and telling her "You're going to need this," reports Florida Today.

According to an arrest affidavit, Locy then allegedly unsheathed a bigger sword, a "broad sword" and threatened to kill the woman (broad), who ran away.

No mention was made in the affidavit whether the girlfriend ran away naked or stopped to put on her clothes while Locy swung at her with his sword.

The article doesn't include any comment from Locy, who was charged with domestic violence battery and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

Released on Friday from the Brevard County Detention Center, he was ordered to get a mental health evaluation, Florida Today reports.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Dumb Pervert Sexually Assaults Seatmate on Inter-Continental Flight

NJ man jailed for sex assault on Continental jet

Published - Aug 15 2011 12:31PM CST

NEWARK, N.J. — A New Jersey man who fondled a sleeping female passenger on a flight from Hong Kong to Newark will spend a year in prison.

Sixty-five-year-old Ramesh Advani, of Berkeley Heights, was sentenced Monday in U.S. District Court in Newark.

Prosecutors say Advani was seated next to the victim on an overnight Continental Airlines flight in May 2010. Advani admitted he reached under a blanket covering the woman and assaulted her. She awoke and alerted the flight crew, and Advani was detained when the plane landed.

Advani had pleaded guilty in April to a charge of abusive sexual contact. He said he had never been able to find a woman interested in him so this was the best he could do.

He also has been fined $10,000 and must serve five years of supervised release once he's freed.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Man Skips Out On $15 Cab Fare But Forgets Backpack & Bong

Police: Man who tries to scam cab fare, leaves custom bong behind
Aug. 11, 2011

WILMETTE, Ill., Aug. 11 (UPI) -- Police in Illinois said a man who fled a taxi cab without paying left items behind, including his ID and a bong for smoking marijuana.

Christopher Porter, 19, got into the taxi with a friend at 2:30 a.m. Aug. 4 in Winnetka and the other man was dropped off with the understanding that Porter would be paying the entire fare.

Porter decided to forego payment and fled the cab, leaving behind a backpack containing his ID, the bong, a time card bearing Porter's name and keys.

The cab driver turned the bag over to police, who used Porter's ID to track down his father. Investigators said Porter's father sent his son to the police station, where he was ticketed for possession of marijuana.

Porter paid the $15 cab fare plus a $5 tip and the driver declined to press charges.

All's well that ends well but no mention was made of the whereabouts of the bong. Did the cabbie get to keep it?

Plugged While Walking Down the Street

Always be on the lookout for flying fire hydrants.

On June 21, 2007, Humberto Hernandez was walking along an Oakland, CA street, hand-in-hand with his wife when he was struck dead in the head by a flying fire hydrant. The 200 pound plug became a deadly missile when struck by a large SUV and dislodged from its anchor. Hernandez happened to be in the path of the flying plug. There was no mention of Hernandez's wife. Blood spatter, flying limbs, did the SUV driver have lots of insurance?

Friday, August 12, 2011

When You Gotta Go You Gotta Go

Drunk JetBlue flier, member of U.S. ski team, booted for urinating on sleeping girl

According to The New York Post chaos erupted on (the airline's) red-eye flight from Portland, Ore., to JFK yesterday when a drunk member of the U.S. ski team peed on a sleeping 11-year-old girl."

The ntoxicated 18-year-old didn't realize he hadn't quite made it the whole way to the bathroom before unzipping and unloading.

"I was drunk, and I did not realize I was pissing on her leg," the 6-foot-4, 195-pound Vermont man is quoted by the Post as saying to authorities. The newspaper says he told them he had eight alcoholic drinks, though the Post did not say whether the man had claimed to have had those drinks on the flight.

The girl's father, who himself was in the bathroom at the time of the incident, came back to his seat just in time to catch the man "midstream," the Post writes.

As if that wasn't enough for one flight, Flight 166 was beset with another incident.

The Post says another man on the flight began complaining about chest pains about an hour before the flight was to land. He eventually vomited, and -- after calls for a doctor on board went unanswered -- the flight crew did its best to clean up and comfort the man until the flight landed.

Six police officers met the Flight 166 when it arrived, four officers for the urinating teenager and two for the ill passenger. No update was provided on the sick mans' condition, but the 18-year-old was released after being charged with indecent exposure.

The 11 year-old girl was promised a "I got peed on by an Olympian" by Jet Blue. Her enraged father may have been promised $10,000.

Soiled Diaper Scammer Goes Dirty

Police: N.H. man, 23, used diaper scam to lure woman

HOOKSETT, N.H. (AP) — New Hampshire police say a man faked a brain injury to get a nurse to change his adult diaper.

(Photo of substitute scammer and nurse)

Hooksett police said Thursday that Eric Carrier is facing charges of indecent exposure and lewdness.

The 23-year-old is accused of pretending to have a brain injury to lure the woman to his home, claiming he needed help changing his adult diaper.

Police say more people have come forward to say he had taken advantage of them in the same way.

Police say Carrier placed an ad on Craigslist seeking home health care. Investigators say nurses would change his diaper, not knowing he was scamming them.

Carrier was arrested Monday and is scheduled to be arraigned Aug. 1. It's unclear if he has an attorney.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

83 Year-Old Great Gramma Gets New Boobs

A California woman made the national news after getting breast implants at age 83. Now she is thick in the controversy.

The culprit or hero is shown on the right, the boob itself.

Marie Kolstad who, at 83, is a full-time property manager with a total of 25 grandchildren and great-grandchildren made a statement.

She put it this way: "Your breasts go in one direction and your brain goes in another." So she spent $8,000 on a boob job -- specifically a breast lift with implants.

"Physically, I'm in good health, and I just feel like, why not take advantage of it?" she told the newspaper, adding, "I want my children to be proud of what I look like."

She also probably likes the stares she gets from men admiring her new assets.

ABC commentators debated the merits, and safety, of such surgery while over at, Kolstad was cheered on: "Can't take it with you ... go for it grandma!"

For now Kolstad is trying to keep a low profile, although her new stand-up boobs make that more difficult.

It is not known if Kolstad has a boyfriend and if so, what he thinks about her body enhancements. Kolstad reportedly is thrilled.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Bulldog Wants Indoor Pool

Gus, the bulldog, had a great idea; to make an indoor pool, to avoid the cancer causing rays of the sun. He made the classic unskilled carpenter's mistake, however, and failed to measure twice and move only once.

As a consequence, he lost all his water.

Man Shoots Own Penis With Girlfriend's Gun

Police urge holster use to avoid penis shots.

Laurie Merrill, The Arizona Republic

Photo of penis before shooting. (ho, hum... no big loss)

CHANDLER, Ariz. — As Joshua Seto, 27, and his fiance, Cara Christopher, walked to a local grocery store last week for refreshments, he tried securing her pink handgun in the front waistband of his pants. Bad idea.

The gun fired, striking Seto's penis and continuing through his left thigh. The bleeding started immediately and was heavy, according to police dispatch recordings released Sunday.

"He is still conscious, there is just a lot of blood," his girlfriend, Christopher, 26, told 911 operators and dispatchers when the accidental shooting occurred Tuesday.

One operator told Christopher to apply direct pressure to the wound with a dry towel or T-shirt, but to avoid looking at the wound.

"I did look at it," Christopher said. "It's pretty bad." probably prompting her to think about getting a new boyfriend.

When the emergency call first went through, Chrisopher was asked if they needed paramedics, she said yes.

"He's still coherent and everything but he's bleeding quite a lot," she said. He probably was cursing quite a lot, too.

In the wake of the accident, police are warning armed residents to use holsters, not waistbands.

The movies and TV shows, like Sons of Anarchy, that show tough guys with guns shoved into their jeans are not realistic, Chandler Police Detective Seth Tyler said Sunday.

The cops and robbers of the silver screen most likely use rubber weapons, which weigh far less than the real things, Tyler said. They also won't blow your dick off.

"Whenever you handle a firearm, whether you are a novice or experienced, always treat firearms as though they are loaded," said Tyler, a spokesman for the department. "If you are going to carry a handgun on your person, use a holster, not your waistband."

Meanwhile, it is not clear if Seto has been released from the hospital or suffered any permanent damage, Tyler said.

"He is recovering," Tyler said. But Christopher was worried about penile implants. It's not like he just lost an arm or a leg.

He may possibly face charges, too, Tyler said Sunday.

Tyler was unsure of the type of gun, or whether it had a safety that was off. What was clear is that the shooter's brain safety switch was in the off position.

From Floral Arrangements, Calligraphy, and Tea To A Black Belt In Karate

Sensei Keiko Fakuda, who is 98 years-old, has a 10th degree black belt in karate

A 98-year-old woman who dedicated much of her life to judo has earned the martial art's highest honor.

The San Francisco Chronicle reports that Sensei Keiko Fukuda was awarded a tenth-degree black belt. She is the first woman and one of only four people to achieve that rank.

When she lived in Japan as a young girl, Fukuda studied calligraphy, flower arrangement and tea ceremony, according to

A clip from the documentary Be Strong, Be Gentle, Be Beautiful explained that Fukuda endured gender discrimination and chose Judo over marriage in order to pursue her dream. (See video clip above.)

Unsurprisingly, she never married. "This was my marriage," Fukuda said through tears. "This is when my life destiny was set."

She doesn't seem to be very happy about it.

Female Jamaican Asses Score A Big Hit.

Jamaican biker chicks show it offl

Aug. 8, 2011

Caribbean men have long been noted for preferring women with humongous butts. Caribbean women have long tried to satisfy this preference by cultivating bigger and bigger butts. The bigger the better is the presumed goal.

But the mere possession of a woman with a gigantic ass is insufficient unless you can show it off to your friends and other random spectators. Enter the sport of motorcycle riding with giant butt women riding behind you.

The three Jamaican women depicted here are representative of the cult of the huge tush. "Baby you can ride my bike."

Monday, August 8, 2011

The Life And Death Of French Bread

French baker Jean-Louis Hecht is shown opening the back of his baguette dispenser, which loads 120 baguettes, in Paris, Monday, Aug. 8, 2011. The baker from northeast France has rolled out a 24 hour automated baguette dispenser, holding out the promise of warm, fresh bread available for hungry night owls, graveyard shift workers, and anyone else who forgot or didn't have time to pick up a fresh baguette during the corner bakery's opening hours.

French police are preparing for possible rioting and attacks on the bread dispensing machines by French purists who regard the baguette as a symbol of French pride and national identity. French blood has been spilled for the baguette for centuries and there have been reported threats on the life of Monsieur Hecht. There already has been at least one suspected suicide committed by an elderly French man in protest against the automated baguette dispensers.

Hecht laughs off these threats by pointing to the success of McDonald's Burger franchises and the growth of Starbucks coffee shops, replacing the familiar demi-tasse cups of espresso and "un cafe au lait."

Choosing The Right Babysitter - Oh Yeah, Babee

Meet Loni Bouchard, the sexy Connecticut babysitter who really gave her 14 year-old charge a babysitting treat.


Police in Connecticut have arrested a hot 20 year-old female babysitter for having a sexual relationship with a 14-year-old boy she was hired to babysit.

Loni Bouchard, 20, of Clinton, located about 20 miles southeast of New Haven, was arrested on July 12 after investigators learned that she was having sexual relations with a boy she was hired to watch.

Bouchard had been babysitting the teen for about six months, police said. She also served the boy alcohol and, according to police, the two became involved in a consensual sexual relationship.

When the mother of the boy learned of the incident, she contacted police. Authorities arrested Bouchard following a three month investigation into the allegations. The boy is not being identified because of his age.

According to The Middletown Press, Bouchard was charged with second-degree sexual assault, two counts of impairing the morals of a child, and permitting a minor to possess alcohol.

"It is the way these laws are written to keep positions of authority from taking advantage of younger people," said Sgt. Joseph Flynn of the Clinton Police Department told ABC's "Good Morning America" Friday.

Following her arrest, Bouchard was released on a promise to appear in court.

On July 29, Bouchard was arrested again and charged with another count of second degree sexual assault for allegedly assaulting a teen boy in nearby Southington, according to The Hartford Courant.

Police in Clinton and Southington did not immediately return calls for comment today, so it remains unclear if the charges in Southington involve the same 14-year-old boy.

Authorities will only say the teen in the Southington case is "known to her" and they are not releasing further information until the victim's name is redacted from court records.

Bouchard posted a $1,000 bond after her second arrest and is due back in court on Aug. 12 to face the charges.

According to "Good Morning America," Bouchard's attorney said his client would be better served by a stay in rehab, rather than a jail sentence.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Man Chops Off Own Head With Homemade Hovercraft

New Zealand Man Decapitated by Homemade Hovercraft

August 03, 2011

WELLINGTON, New Zealand – A New Zealand man was decapitated in front of his family while taking a home-made hovercraft on a test run, according to reports Wednesday.

Police said the 40-year-old, whose name has not been released, died instantly when he was struck by a propeller blade while using the hovercraft at Muriwai beach, west of Auckland, on Sunday, the New Zealand Herald reported.

Spectators described the scene at the beach as "a bloody mess," with hair, brain matter and pieces of the man's skull strewn across the sand.

The newspaper said it was the first time the man had driven the hovercraft, which he had assembled from a kit.

Police plan to interview members of the man's family about the death.

"Some of them were present on the beach," police sergeant Colin Nuttall told Fairfax Media.

An engineer was examining the remains of the hovercraft and the death was referred to the coroner. The hovercraft will be given a proper burial by the kit manufacturer, to cover up the evidence.

Nuttall told the Herald that New Zealand did not have regulations covering recreational hovercrafts, provided they were not used on roads.

Read more:

There Once Was A Hermit Named Dave, Who Kept A Dead Whore In His Cave, Yada, Yada, Yada

July 27, 2011

Man lived with dead woman for 2 months

MESA, Ariz. (AP) -- Apparently unable to give up on his relationship a man in suburban Phoenix continued to live with his girlfriend's corpse for more than two months after killing her.

The man, Erik Grumpelt, was charged with one count of second-degree murder.

Grumpelt's father tipped off the cops who went to his son's apartment and discovered the body of 39-year-old Melinda Raya on a bedroom floor under several sheets. The body was in an advanced state of decomposition and had been surrounded by air fresheners.

On May 19, according to cops, the younger Grumpelt struck the woman in the stomach several times after learning she had cheated on him. When she failed to recover from the blows he either decided to keep her around for a while for sex or panicked and tried to conceal the body.

Killer On The Loose - Prize Fighters Beware

Cops, Man assaults professional free style fighter.

August 6, 2011
Bavaria, Nevada

The unidentified man in the photo was sought in connection with the brutal beating of a martial arts master and professional free style fighter.

The wimpy looking assailant almost killed the professional fighter, whose name is being withheld in order not to embarrass him and damage his reputation and career. The "wimp" accosted the prize fighter for illegally parking in a handicapped parking space. When told to 'get lost' by the pro fighter, the wimpy looking guy turned into a whirling dervish of karate, kick boxing, jujitsu, smackdown wrestling and gentle yoga, ultimately leaving the pro fighter in a lotus position, gasping for air and pleading for surcease.

It was not known if the professional fighter planned to press charges or hide under the nearest rock.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Clearing Bike Lanes The Lithuanian Way

Mayor: "Get that hunk of junk out of the bike lane."

The mayor of Lithuania's capital city Vilnius, was tired of luxury vehicles parking in the city's bike lanes. So, the 43-year-old civil servant video-taped himself crushing a Mercedes-Benz S-Class in a Russian armored personnel carrier as a part of a publicity stunt. According to a report in the Irish Times this morning, Zuokas is an avid cyclist and he told reporters "I wanted to send a message... I want to point out that if you have a car and more money it doesn’t mean that you can park it everywhere. Recently there’s been an increase in this type of parking violation, and it shows a lack of respect for others.” The video above shows the mayor following up on his pledge and a startled car owner when he emerged from his important appointment.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Nineteen Males Repeatedly Raped 11 Year-Old Girl

DNA testing delays cases in assaults on Texas girl

Updated 7/6/2011

Thomas B. Shea, AP

LIBERTY, Texas (AP) — DNA testing delays prompted a judge Wednesday to push back until October the cases of seven men accused of taking part in a series of sexual assaults on an 11-year-old girl that have horrified and divided their small southeast Texas town.

The seven men, part of a group of 19 individuals charged in the assaults, appeared in state district court for status updates on their cases.

Prosecutor Joe Warren asked for delays in the cases because it could be another four to six weeks before DNA testing of evidence is complete. The testing is being done by the Texas Department of Public Safety.

"I'm going to pressure the state to pressure the DPS lab to get whatever analysis as quickly as possible," state District Judge Mark Morefield said

Morefield reset the seven men's cases for Oct. 3. Seven other men charged in the assaults were to appear before the judge Wednesday afternoon. Five juvenile boys also have been charged.

During the hearing, Warren told the judge his office was in tentative negotiations with at least one of the defendants, Jared McPherson. Warren did not say if he was referring to a possible plea agreement and he declined to comment after the hearing. McPherson's attorney also declined to comment. A gag order is preventing those connected to the case from commenting.

The investigation began in December, after one of the girl's friends told a teacher he had seen a lurid cell phone video that showed the girl being raped in an abandoned trailer. The case became public after arrests were made in February.

Authorities say the girl was assaulted on at least five occasions, sometimes by as many as seven or eight young men or boys at a time, from mid-September to early December in Cleveland, a small town about 45 miles northeast of Houston. Court proceedings are being held in the nearby town of Liberty, the county seat.

The suspects range in age from a middle-school student to a 27-year-old, and include two star athletes at the local high school as well as adults with criminal records.

Most of the adult suspects face charges of aggravated sexual assault of a child, while four face a charge of continuous sexual abuse of a child. Most have pleaded not guilty and are free on bond, while one, 26-year-old Marcus Porchia, was charged after his arrest with sexually assaulting another girl in an unrelated case.

The case shined a sometimes unflattering spotlight on Cleveland after some in the town of about 9,000 residents suggested the girl was culpable in part for what happened, claiming she wore makeup and looked older. Some also accused her parents, immigrants from Mexico, of not watching her more closely. Those suggestions were sharply criticized by many Cleveland residents and by community and religious groups outside the city.

Also complicating the case was a belief by many in the predominantly black neighborhood where several of the suspects live that the arrests were racially motivated. All of the suspects are black, while the girl is Hispanic.

The girl, now 12, remains in foster care while her parents, who have health problems and moved out of Cleveland after receiving threatening phone calls, work with state child welfare authorities to get her back.

Swede Builds Nuclear Reactor In Kitchen

Swedish man arrested for kitchen nuclear 'reactor'

Michael Winter
August 3, 2011

A hobbyist in Sweden has become notorious after his arrest for trying to build a nuclear fusion reactor in his kitchen.

Richard Handl, 31, of Angelholm, in southern Sweden,was arrested July 20 for unauthorized possession of nuclear material after contacting the Swedish Radiation Safety Authority to ask whether it was legal to split atoms at home.

Police and government officials showed up at his apartment in Angelholm, measured for radiation and confiscated all of his materials. He had scavenged radium from old clock hands and americium from household smoke detectors, obtained thorium from a Coleman gas-lantern mantle and bought depleted U-238 from a U.S. supplier.

"When they came they had the police with them. I have had a Geiger counter and have not detected a problem with radiation," Handl told Helsingborgs Dagblad, according to The Local, an English-language news site.

The experiment began in mid-May, and Handl blogged about it. Here's how he introduced his stove-top nuclear stuffings: "My project is to build a working nuclear reactor. Not to gain electricity, just for fun and to see if it's possible to split atoms at home. I would be a breeder reactor, and my primary goals is to carry out two main reactions ..."

A week later he wrote about "The Meltdown" on his electric stove, when a heated mixture of americium, radium and beryllium in sulphuric acid exploded as he tried to blend them. See the results, which he called "not so dangerous."

Handl says police released him after questioning but that he is "still a suspect for crimes against the radiation safety law," and could be fined or jailed for two years.

The citizens of Angelholm were largely unperturbed by their neighbor's experiment, a spokesman for the local city council said, reflecting an attitude of "A man's home is his castle.

Would You Like Extra Cream and Sugar With Your Donuts?

ROCKAWAY, N.J. —29-year-old woman working the night shift at Dunkin Donuts faces prostitution charges for taking breaks from selling donuts and coffee to provide sexual services in exchange for money.

Might not be the actual employee. >>>>>>>

Melissa Redmond, 29, of Mine Hill, was arrested after a six week investigation known as "extra sugar" that began when police got a tip that people could go to the Dunkin Donuts on Route 46 and arrange a liason with Redmond.

Melissa worked the 9 p.m to 5 a.m. shift and was moonlighting during her job dispensing donuts. She would take a break to go out to a customer's car for 10 to 15 minutes to 'do the dirty' for cold cash.

An undercover "John" approached Melissa at the drive-thru window; she came out to his car and gave him her phone number and a price list for various sexual services.

"John went back subsequently to ask for her services and was offered a list of new, lower prices, a special sex sale. He struck a deal but said he needed to go to a bank machine for money. When he returned, they drove to the back of the building and an arrest was made. Melissa was processed, served her complaint, her booking photo above was taken and she was released.

Dunkin Donuts employees declined to comment Monday morning. But one happy customer was disappointed to learn he no longer could get a blowjob with his morning coffee and donut. He suggested Dunkin Donuts should add Melissa to the menu.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Highly Toxic Woman Becomes Aggresive With Man and Cops

August 2, 2011

Hopatcong, NY

Some incidents really define the genre Hyper-aggressive.

Hopatcong police say a Rockaway woman followed a man to the police station, as he tried to file a report about how she threw her cell phone at his car. When officers came outside to ask the woman to calm down, she objected. She kicked an officer in the stomach and groin at least three times. It didn't end well for the Rockaway woman—she faces several charges, including some for alleged marijuana possession.

So far police have been unable to identify the woman who escaped on foot. A police sketch artist produced the above image of the woman and the public was asked to call Hopatcong police if they see anyone resembling the woman in the sketch.

Oh, and the cell phone never was recovered.