Friday, December 31, 2010

Anorexic French Fashion Model Starves

Dec. 31, 2010

French model and actress Isabelle Caro, whose anorexia-ravaged body was featured in a shocking 2007 advertising campaign, has died.

The young woman's acting coach, Daniele Dubreuil-Prevot, revealed Caro died on Nov. 17, at the age of 28, according to reports. She had just returned to France after completing an assignment in Tokyo.

Caro's longtime teacher said she didn't know the cause of death, but she spoke of Caro's battle with anorexia, adding that her student – who said she suffered from the illness since she was 13 – "had been sick for a long time."

The model is known for her appearance in a fashion ad campaign by Italian photographer Oliviero Toscani in 2007, when the photo above was taken. Caro's naked body was shown with her skeletal frame and facial bones protruding. The images were splashed in newspapers and on billboards with the headline "No Anorexia."

The enormous pressure on fashion models to stay skinny has led to heated debates between the governing bodies of several fashion groups. Most notably, Latin American countries have enforced minimum weight requirements to protect the health of the models, while European fashion groups have fought to keep models super slim.

Reports of fashion models who eat only one leaf of lettuce for lunch in their never ending quest to stay slim have led to public outcries to regulate the weights of models. The fashion industry responds with "Slim sells."

Earlier this year, Caro made an appearance on Jessica Simpson's show "The Price of Beauty" to discuss body image issues. In November, her bill came due.

Nuptials Announced

Two of Bizarre Stuff's Favorites Find True Love Hand in Hand

December 31, 2010

It is with great pleasure that we at Bizarre Stuff announce the joining of Murali Nookella, a 34-year-old computer programmer, and Vikki Myers, 44, a single mom. The two found each other via their stories on our website and knew this was a custom-made match. Readers may remember Vicki was arrested for pleasing herself in her van while Murali was arrested for spanking the monkey in an effort to join the "Mile Nigh" club.*

Murali was greatly gratified and Vicki seriously satisfied when the officiant opened the ceremony, saying "Please join your currently otherwise occupied hands and repeat after me." After passing the Handi-Wipes the two joined those now famous hands and exchanged vows. The guests at the reception avoided the traditional congratulatory hand-shaking greeting line and opted instead for some friendly waves.

The couple were to honeymoon in Vegas, but chose nostalgically to get off in Denver instead. The couple will reside in Florida.

*For readers unfamiliar with the "Mile Nigh" club, it is an alternative for those who wanted to join the "Mile High" club but just couldn't find anyone else to have sex with, so did it solo instead.

Englisch Verboten im Vaterland

German ministry cracks down on Anglicisms
(May crack down on Anglicans later)

By Ruppert Mayr, Deutsche Presse-Agentur

BERLIN — Germany's Transport Ministry has launched a crackdown on English-style words in the German language, handing out a list of more than 100 banned terms, it confirmed Wednesday.

Spokeswoman Sabine Mehwald confirmed that minister Peter Ramsauer, a conservative from the state of Bavaria, had appealed to his staff to preserve the German language, mainly protecting it from words of English origin. "There's no compulsion about it," she said.

In the latest revision of the list, staff members were told to stop writing "der laptop," and call the device "mobiler rechner," which means "mobile computer."

Staff members also were advised to always call a data projector a "datenprojektor" and to stop describing it with the faux English term "beamer," which is common in Germany and the Netherlands.

Ramsauer said later that he was less concerned about ordinary nouns which have no Germanic equivalent than he was about pretentious terms such as "inhouse meeting," which means the same as an everyday German expression "hausinterne besprechung."

But a motorists' organization, Auto Club Europa, called on the minister to instead focus on traffic law and reframe it in German instead of in "bureaucratese." ACE said parts of the road code used bureaucratic German that most Germans could not understand, so they just drive really fast instead.

Il y aura toujours d'un

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Man Relaxing On Plane Charged With Indecent Exposure

Getting Off In Denver
Programmer, 34, arrested for in-flight masturbation episode

MARCH 2, 2010--A Delaware man is facing a federal criminal charge after he was caught yesterday masturbating on a plane while seated next to a female passenger.

Murali Nookella, a 34-year-old computer programmer, was en route to Denver from Philadelphia on a Southwest Airlines flight when a woman noticed him 'fumbling underneath a blanket,' according to an affidavit sworn by FBI Agent Joel Nishida. The woman, identified only by her initials in the affidavit, said that Nookella's 'eyes were closed and his hands moved all around his groin area' underneath a 'mustard/gold blanket pulled up to his waist.'

As the woman packed up her belonging to move seats, she 'looked at Nookella and saw him holding his erect penis.' The woman said that Nookella remarked, 'You caught me.' Nookella held a napkin in his left hand, the woman told the FBI. According to Nishida's affidavit, a copy of which you'll find at left, the woman 'did not look but heard a swishing sound. She thought Nookella wiped something.'

Nookella's employer told TSG that he was headed to Denver on a work assignment. Nookella was named today in a misdemeanor criminal complaint charging him with indecent exposure. If convicted, he faces a maximum of 90 days in jail and a $5000 fine.

The Tabasco Sauce Made Me Do It - Or Maybe Breakfast

Cops: Man exposed penis to teenage girl on SkyWest flight

Flier Blames Tabasco Sauce Spill On Penis For Lewd Act

DECEMBER 30, 2010

Arrested this week for allegedly masturbating while seated next to a teenage girl on an airplane flight, a 50-year-old suspect, Rafael Escamilla, told police that he was actually massaging and scratching himself because he had spilled Tabasco sauce on his penis.

Escamilla’s novel explanation for his alleged indecent exposure is contained in police reports detailing the December 26 incident on a SkyWest Airlines flight from Salt Lake City to Lewiston, Idaho. Escamilla, a Florida resident, was in Idaho visiting family.

The girl, a high school cheerleader who just turned 17, told cops that she was seated directly next to Escamilla, and had chatted briefly with him at the trip’s outset. Mid-flight, as she looked at prom dresses in Seventeen magazine, the teenager spotted something moving “out of the corner of my eye.”

In a handwritten statement, the girl recalled, “I looked over and I could clearly see the man’s penis going side to side under the tray table that was down.” Escamilla, she added, had one hand on his laptop (which was atop the tray table) and the other “under the tray table.” Escamilla is pictured in the above mug shot.

After waiting two to three minutes, the girl--who was traveling alone on the flight--got up to go to the bathroom. When she emerged, the teen sat next to a woman seated at the back of the plane, and told the woman that, “the guy that she was sitting with creeped her out.”

Upon arrival at Nez Perce County Regional Airport, the girl, upset and crying, told her father about what had transpired on the flight. The man contacted a Transportation Security Administration supervisor, who in turn summoned Lewiston Police Department officers.

When confronted by cops, Escamilla denied exposing himself. “I wasn’t out, I wasn’t hanging out,” he claimed. As reported by Officer Chris Reese, Escamilla “explained to me that he had spilled Tabasco sauce or something similar on his ‘penis’ and had an incredible itch.” He was rubbing his groin, Escamilla explained, “because it was the worst ‘itch in the world.’” Escamilla said he tried to be discreet by covering himself with his laptop, but that the girl must have “suspected something.”

During further questioning, Escamilla changed his Tabasco story, claiming that it “might” be from his breakfast that morning “as he did have Tabasco sauce with his eggs.” Asked why he did not just go to the bathroom to “take care of this problem,” Escamilla told Reese that he “didn’t feel that it would help.”

Reese noted that Escamilla used the words “rub” and “massage” to describe how he addressed the “incredible itch.” The cop reported that, “while I was speaking with [Escamilla], he never showed any obvious signs that he had an itch in this particular part of his body.”

Escamilla was then handcuffed and transported to the county jail, where the above mug shot was snapped. He was charged with a misdemeanor count of indecent exposure, and a District Court hearing was set for January 18.

According to an online biography, Escamilla is an accomplished physical therapist who holds a Ph.D. and has worked as a professor at Duke University and California State University. Escamilla currently is employed as the research director at the Florida orthopedics and sports medicine institute founded by Dr. James Andrews, the noted surgeon whose clientele has included Michael Jordan, Peyton Manning, Charles Barkley, Jack Nicklaus, Roger Clemens, and Drew Brees.

Sarah Palin Farts Way Into National Politics

On ABC Talk Show, Sarah Palin Farts Loudly

In an effort to cover her ignorance of the Bush doctrine of preemptive attack on alleged enemies, candidate Palin shut down the interview in a dignified manner by farting loudly. A poll of southern rednecks expressed approval of Palin's odoriferous comment, saying she was one of the people and reminded them of their own farting wives.

In a subsequent interview, Palin claimed she supported the Equal Rights Amendment and that women should have farting rights equal to those of men. She also blamed her own gastroenterologist.

Man Sentenced to Four Years Probation For Murder

Grandfather caps man because his dog urinated in "Pop's" yard

Dec. 30, 2010

A grandfather from suburban University Park was sentenced to four years of probation Wednesday for the fatal shooting of a 23-year-old man whose dog had urinated in his yard.

Charles Clements, 69, a former Marine who took great pride in his lawn, could have been sentenced to 20 years in prison for the incident, but Judge Daniel J. Rozak told the courtroom that the incident was not about dog urine on a lawn, the Chicago Tribune reports.

On May 9, Joshua Funches was walking his dog in the 500 block of Landau Road in the south suburb when his dog wandered into Clements' yard and relieved itself. Clements confronted Funches, and the 23-year-old pushed and punched Clements before a weapon was drawn.

The Chicago Sun-Times reports:

Clements didn't fire the weapon until after Funches cursed at him, then punched him in the face, according to testimony during his October trial.

Clements told police he shot Funches once in the abdomen because he feared the younger man would harm him.

The dog was not charged for urinating in the wrong place.

Pa. man stole video game from boy's casket

He's Just Making Sure You Can't Take It with You

Written by AP
PITTSBURGH (AP) 12/29/2010 8:24 AM

State police are trying to find a Pennsylvania man who they say stole a hand-held video game system and accessories from the casket of a teen who had been killed in an SUV crash on Christmas Day.

State police are not willing to comment beyond a brief news release issued Wednesday.

In the release, police say 38-year-old Jody Lynn Bennett, of Mentcle, grabbed the items from the casket of 17-year-old Bradley McCombs during a viewing Monday night at a Montgomery Township funeral home, about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh.

The funeral home director and McCombs' mother aren't commenting. The suspect's aunt, Dianna Bennett, says her family is friends with the McCombs and are mortified by the theft. She tells The Associated Press she hopes police catch Bennett soon.

JOE MANDAK,Associated Press

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Mother-in-Law Rips Nipple Off Daughter-in-Law's Boob in Drunken Brawl

December 16, 2010

DOCUMENT: Bizarre, Crime

Cops: Woman Tore Off Daughter-in-Law's Nipple
Suspect, 46, in messy brawl with daughter-in-law, 30

DECEMBER 16--A drunken early-morning fight between a New Mexico woman and her daughter-in-law ended Sunday when the older combatant tore the nipple off one of her daughter-in-law's breasts, according to a wince-inducing police report.

Prosecutors will weigh aggravated assault charges against Amilia Oveide, 46, in connection with her December 12 confrontation with Marie Cadney, 30, the wife of Oveide’s son, 26-year-old Jason Cadney.

A Las Cruces Police Department report notes that the Cadneys and Oveide had “been drinking most of the night” when, Marie Cadney told cops, a 3 AM argument between her husband and his mother became “very intense.” Cadney said that she “went to stand between them and try to separate them,” though she also began arguing with her mother-in-law. Oveide, a convicted felon who has spent time in prison for narcotics possession, is pictured in the above October 2003 mug shot.

Cadney, also depicted above, said that is when Oveide “grabbed her right breast and began to squeeze and pull on her nipple.” Cadney added that she yelled for Oveide “to let go and Oveide continued to pull at that time.” Oveide let go only after Cadney began punching her in the face. Cadney was interviewed by investigators at Memorial Medical Center after a doctor had performed a reattachment procedure.

After Cadney had physically removed her mother-in-law from the apartment, she felt fluid on her right breast, and noticed that there was blood on her shirt. And here’s where the cringe factor explodes:

“When she untucked her shirt she stated her nipple fell on the floor. She stated she picked it up, put it into a bag securing it,” cops reported. Amazingly, two hours passed before Cadney “decided she needed to go to the hospital.”

While Cadney told officers that she was not sure she wanted to pursue charges, prosecutors have the discretion to file a felony case against Oveide following the conclusion of the police probe.

A deputy district attorney told reporter Ashley Meeks of the Las Cruces Sun-News that this was apparently the first time that a Las Cruces resident “has suffered a body part being torn off during a crime.”

Possible Murder In Gun Sex Play Slaying

Cops: Man, 23, may have murdered wife, 50

A 23 year-old Oklahoma man called police to report that his wife was dead of a gunshot to the head. He was jailed a week ago on suspicion of first-degree murder but has not been charged formally in what he describes as an accidental shooting during a sex play game.

Arthur S. says he often held a gun to his wife's head when they were in bed together, as part of a sexual ritual, but didn't realize the weapon was loaded when he pulled the handgun's slide back as they were in the middle of sexual intercourse on Dec. 21.

Arthur's wife, Rebecca, 50, was found lying in the street in front of her home with a gunshot wound and was pronounced dead at a local hospital. Police became suspicious when Sedille was unable to explain how her body had gotten from the bed to the street and her partially clothed body was covered in blood.

A County judge has ruled that there is probable cause to hold Sedille while authorities continue to investigate the case. CNN reported that Gary Knight of the Oklahoma City police said authorities opted to arrest Sedille on suspicion of first-degree murder out of an overabundance of caution. Duh?

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

"Hacking Off" Lawyer Neighbor - Lawyer Steals Bourbon In Retaliation

Angry at Attorney, Neighbor Hacked His Encrypted Wi-Fi & Sent Child Porn to His Law Firm Colleagues

Dec 22, 2010
Totally revised by the editors of BizarreStuff

Angry at a Wisconsin attorney, a neighbor hacked his encrypted Wi-Fi account and e-mailed pornography labeled as family photos to his colleagues at a San Clemente law firm, according to authorities.

Rodolfo Sinverguenza, 41, slightly psychotic, shown here, maybe, also sent threatening e-mails purportedly from the attorney to the governor of Utah, and Vice President Joe Biden. He also set up a fake MySpace page in the lawyer's name.

The lawyer is Murray Kastleback, a divorce lawyer.

Sinverguenza also sent a mash note, purportedly from Kastleback, to his legal assistant. He posed as a fictitious woman with a sexual harassment complaint against the attorney in a communication to the head of the firm's environmental law department.

Sinverguenza pleaded guilty last week, in the middle of a federal district court trial, to hacking, identity theft and possession of child pornography charges, as well as making threats to V.P.Biden and promised not to do it again. Biden said he wasn't concerned and sent threatening emails back to Sinverguenza.

Child porn was also posted on the fake MySpace page created in the attorney's name, along with an arrogant message: "I bet my co-worker that since I'm a lawyer and a darn great one that I could get away with putting up porn on my site here. I bet that all I have to do is say there is plausible deniability since anybody could have put this up on my site."

Kastleback said there was "plausible deniability" and he was taking the 5th. He then left with a 5th of Jack Daniels Black Label.

Burger Chain Serves Up "Killer" Meal

Michigan Burger King customer's death ruled homicide


Detroit police say a customer died after being punched by a worker at a Burger King on the city's east side.

DETROIT (AP) — A 67-year-old man police believe was homeless died after being punched and knocked to the ground during a scuffle with a 20-year-old Burger King employee in Detroit. Authorities ruled the death a homicide Friday.

An autopsy determined Paul Cannon died from blunt force trauma to the head, said Dennis Niemiec, a spokesman for the Wayne County medical examiner's office.

The employee was being held pending a decision by the county prosecutor's office.

Police said Cannon was reportedly causing a disturbance Thursday afternoon at the restaurant on the city's east side and tried to hit the worker, who swung back.

"A verbal argument occurred," police Sgt. Eren Stephens said. "It escalated into a physical altercation."

Jerome Perdu, 59, of Detroit, works as a security guard nearby and said he was at the restaurant at the time. "I just seen him lying on the floor," Perdu said. "EMS was pumping him." Perdu had nothing helpful to say and should not have been interviewed. He was a complete dud.

The customer died at a hospital, police said. His last known address was in Detroit, Niemiec said and he never got to finish his burger.

A spokeswoman for Miami-based Burger King, said the franchise owner was cooperating with Detroit police and that BK was committed to the health and welfare of all its customers and employees, or words to that effect.

Monday, December 27, 2010

The Inalienable Right To Starve Your Wife

Afghan Husbands Win Legal Right to Starve Wives

August 17, 2009


Bowing to international pressure and unprecedented protests by hundreds of women on the streets of Kabul, the Afghan government promised in April to review a new law imposing severe restrictions on women in Shiite Muslim families.

Last week, though, Human Rights Watch discovered that a revised version of the Shiite Personal Status Law had been quietly put into effect at the end of July — meaning that Shiite men in Afghanistan now have the legal right to starve their wives if their sexual demands are not met and that Shiite women must obtain permission from their husbands to even leave their houses, “except in extreme circumstances.”

In June, some Afghan Shiite women signed a petition in support of a new law placing restrictions on them that human rights activists and Western leaders had opposed.

The new law was signed by President Hamid Karzai, who is depending on support from Sheik Muhammad Asif Mohseni, the country’s most powerful Shiite cleric, in this week’s presidential election. Shiites, who were oppressed by the Sunni-led Taliban government, are believed to make up between 10 and 20 percent of Afghanistan’s population. Sheik Mohseni and scholars close to him were allowed to write the first draft of the new law, and he was reportedly unhappy that Parliament had introduced a provision that banned men from marrying girls under the age of 16.

When the law was first approved, President Barack Obama called it “abhorrent,” but has not yet responded to reports that it has now been revised and put into effect, perhaps because Afghanistan’s election is just days away.

In April, Al Jazeera visited Kabul’s main Shiite mosque to record Sheik Mohseni expressing his displeasure at the controversy over the law, and reporters from the news station spoke with some Shiite women who endorsed it:

Days later, my colleague Abdul Waheed Wafa shot this video of women gathered outside the mosque and a madrasa run by Sheik Asif Mohseni to protest the law in the face of the taunts of a larger group of men who supported it:

Although the law applies only to Shiites, Soraya Sobhrang, commissioner for women’s rights at the Afghan Independent Human Rights Commission, said in April that it could influence a proposed family law for the Sunni majority and a draft law on violence against women. She told The Times in April, “This opens the way for more discrimination.”

According to Human Rights Watch, the new law also “grants guardianship of children exclusively to their fathers and grandfathers” and “effectively allows a rapist to avoid prosecution by paying ‘blood money’ to a girl who was injured when he raped her.” Brad Adams, the Asia director for the human rights group, said that President Karzai “has made an unthinkable deal to sell Afghan women out in return for the support of fundamentalists in the August 20 election.” On Saturday, the Afghan Independent Human Rights Commission in Kabul took a less dim view, calling the fact that the law was amended at all, “a step forward.”

Jerome Starkey explained on Saturday in The Independent why support from Shiite leaders was so important to Mr. Karzai:

Most of Afghanistan’s Shias are ethnic Hazaras. They are Afghanistan’s third largest ethnic group, with about six million people, and like most Afghans, they vote according to orders from community leaders. With a roughly 50-50 split between Afghanistan’s southern Pashtuns and the rest of the country, the Hazaras are seen as the kingmakers.

Student: "Ooops, sorrry about bad."

Klutzy art student stumbles and falls into rare Picasso, damaging the painting with a 6" tear.

A rare Picasso painting at New York' City's Metropolitan Museum of Art was damaged with a 6-inch tear when a clumsy art student lost her balance and stumbled into the $80 million work of art.

The unidentified woman was attending an adult education class last week when she lost her balance and fell against "The Actor", damaging the lower right corner, the Met said in a statement.

The museum said the tear did not occur "in a focal point of the composition" and could be repaired in time for an April display of 250 works of art by the painter at the Met. But it probably is a $10 million tear, according to some art connoisseurs, who speculated the value of the painting could be diminished to $70 million as a result of the stupid accident.

Patrons of the museum wondered how the museum could permit a ditzy airhead to get so close to the painting. The museum's insurers asked the same question when notified of the incident and the probable $2,000,000 cost of the repair.

The museum's assistant curator could not be reached for comment due to a coffee break at a nearby Starbucks.

The painting, which measures 6 feet by 4 feet, was completed by Picasso in 1905.

Florida: Most Bizarre State in the U.S. - Maybe in the World*

Long noted for having the most bizarre residents and the most bizarre occurrences, Florida garnered the most bizarre state and most bizarre residents trophy (The Bizarro Awards)for the second consecutive year. The Bizarro Awards, first established about 10 minutes ago, are given annually (starting this year)to the most bizarre events per 100,000 residents, tourists, terrorists and rodeo clowns in any geographic locale on the planet, so long as it is within the lower continental U.S. (this rule was necessary to counter balance the Sarah Palin effect in Alaska and the tsunami/pineapple effect in Hawaii.)

A panel of 12 semi-conscious winos was assembled from street gutters in NYC, Los Angeles, New Orleans and the campus of Oral Roberts University in Tulsa. The panelists were sobered up and fed for 3 days before making their choices, after which they were returned to the gutter of their choice with a case of cheap red wine provided by the United Liquor Store Owners Assoc. (ULSOA)

Florida won in a close election, with 7 votes, to 5 for Utah and 2 abstentions.

A sample of the evidence for Florida considered by the panel of drunks is summarized as follows:

a) Floridians overwhelmingly committed more stupid crimes, made more poor decisions and behaved more bizarrely than any other group.

b) A female lawyer was denied access to her client in a Florida prison because her underwired bra set off the metal detector. When she removed the bra she was denied entrance because she was braless.

c) A 32 year-old man called 911 to report that his mother had taken away his beer.

d) A Manatee County man stopped by police for driving while black, claimed that the marijuana stuffed between his butt cheeks belonged to him but the crack cocaine in his crack had been stashed there by a friend.

e) A man leaving a bar was arrested for head butting a street preacher who called him a sinner.

f) A man killed his father with a knife in an argument about who would walk the dog.

g) A man was walking his Jack Russell terrier in Tampa when an alligator snatched it. He pulled a handgun and started shooting the gator. It let go of the dog, but the pet wasn't breathing until the man performed CPR and revived it.

h) Another dog in Hernando County ran over his owner with a pickup truck after jumping into the running vehicle and putting it in gear.

i) A bomb squad was sent to investigate a stuffed pony in Orange County which it blew up.

j. A street was blockaded for 3 hours until police were able to determine that a reported bomb with a flashing timer in the middle of the street was a restaurant pager. Several officers took the timer and went to eat dinner without having to wait.

k) Several people in Miami were sickened after eating mucus from a giant snail as part of a religious ceremony. No one was saved.

l) Would-be robbers knocked an 83-year-old man to the ground in Clearwater. They turned and ran when the victim pulled a gun, shooting one of them in the ass.

m) A 69-year-old woman turned back a robber after picking up the gun he dropped in her car while smashing her windshield with it. He also dropped his cell phone which was used by police to track him.

n) A Clay County woman was arrested after posting a photo of her baby with a bong on Facebook. The baby had to go cold turkey until mom was released from jail.

o) A family honoring a relative's dying wish buried him at sea, only to have the body resurface off a Fort Lauderdale beach. They were issued a citation for littering.

p) A Tampa-area couple paid $8 for a box of bones at a yard sale that they planned to use as Halloween decorations. When they got home and realized they had bought a real human skeleton they called police who took them in for questioning about a possible murder charge.

q) A 45 year-old man riding a motorcycle was arrested for DUI and riding naked. When asked by police, the man could not identify where he was going or where he came from.

And that's only a summary of the evidence presented in favor of Florida.

By comparison, Utah, which received 5 votes, was picked for having 50,000 child brides married to church elders who averaged 78 years of age, a total of 3,300,000 years, as compared to only 600,000 years for their brides, a difference of 2,700,000 years.

Latest Blockbuster Pizza Hits U.S.Markets

Dec. 27, 2010
Somewhere, America

Wu-Tang Pizza Ain't Nuthing To Fuck With

A new style pizza with an unabashed advertising slogan is all the rage this holiday season. Claiming to have 'special secret' ingredients that appeal to the edgier crowd, the pizza is only available to customers over the age of 18 and is limited to only six cities in the U.S. at this time: San Francisco, Chicago, New York, Atlanta, New Orleans and Mavscat, Texas.

The pizza, in uncooked form, is also available in most obscure, not-well-known grocery stores with no image to worry about, for preparation at home.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

This is bad because... Wait. Why is this bad?

Motivated, Ambitious, and Resourceful Teen Scolded by Authorities

December 20, 2010
Jared Taylor, The Monitor

EDINBURG — A man told police he found his 16-year-old son in bed with a naked woman more than twice his age. The teen had allegedly hired her to have sex him.

Edinburg police responded to the 100 block of East Wells Street at 3:47 am Friday to a call of an act of prostitution in progress. The police had to move fast, before the act was over. Upon arrival, police found Dulce Liliana Nava Cardenas, 35, (apparently pictured above) naked and about to perform a sexual act, according to the filed criminal complaint. However, according to the teen's statement, she was about perform an awesome act of initiation. The young man had paid Nava $150 for this privilege.

After her arrest, Nava confessed to police that she accepted cash for the sexual favors and that she allowed the teen to touch her breast with his hands, the complaint states.

Nava was formally charged with indecency with a child and prostitution Friday afternoon in Edinburg Municipal Court. Bond was set at $2,000. If convicted of indecency with a child, Nava could face up to 10 years in prison and up to a $10,000 fine. Prostitution carries a maximum penalty of 180 days in jail and up to a $2,000 fine. Nava was released from the Hidalgo County Jail early Monday morning. We hope the authorities will exercise great leniency towards this teacher of life.

Let all enterprising and curious young men everywhere be forewarned - make sure dad doesn't hear you bring the hooker into your room.

Thanks for your support

December 26, 2010
MavScat, TX

Many thanks to you, our readers, for your support during my rehab stint.

It was truly a humbling experience. I realize I am not truly a junkie, but simply suffer from the ever so common internet-stupidity obsession suffered by surfers everywhere.

I met many good people in rehab- celebrities, politicians, preachers, and sports stars. Fortunately, this experience also provided volumes of material for Bizarre Stuff.

Freed from the confines of those four padded walls, I am now able to once again entertain myself with news of strange occurrences, cataclysmic upheavals, men jumping on cops' backs and demanding free public transport to Cuba, penis and vagina festivals in Japan, abandoned and barbecued grandmothers, men having sex with their patio tables, severed arms being thrown out with the trash, feces falling from the sky, and banana ripening machines that explode in the night.

Python Guards Cocaine Stash in Italy

Cops: Dangerous giant snake discovered guarding cocaine

Dec. 6, 2010

Police in Caserta, Italy were surprised to find a huge, white python guarding a stash of cocaine in a house occupied by a drug ring. The cops entered to plant listening devices in an effort to record the drug dealers discussing business. The python, a rare albino, was not very effective in preventing police from planting the "bugs" in the house.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Indoor Marijuana Farm Outed By Car Crash

ELLICOTT CITY, Md. — A Baltimore area man has more than just insurance claims to worry about after a car crashed into his home.

Police in Ellicott City say the crash revealed that 44-year-old Richard Marriott had an indoor marijuana farm.

Marriott and another person were uninjured when a BMW driven by 20-year-old Bryan Bolster hit the house and burst into flames on Dec. 10. Bolster died.

Howard County police say fire investigators found the drugs. Police got a search warrant and found nearly 20 large marijuana plants. (See photo inset) Marriott was arrested and was being held Wednesday on $15,000 bond. A hard nosed judge refused to accept the plants, valued at $20,000, in lieu of a cash bond.

Marriott's lawyer, Leonard Shapiro, tells The Baltimore Sun that the marijuana was for personal use, not distribution. He says his client is cooperating with authorities. An unauthorized spokeswoman for the authorities said the authorities "ain't buying it." Marriott remains in jail for the holidays, with no weed to ease the pain of his loss.

An unidentified spokesperson for Marriott's homeowners' insurance carrier said the plants would not be covered under the personal effects category of his policy because they were not considered ordinary or necessary household furnishings.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Modern Crook Tries Variation Of the Old 'The Devil Made Me Do It' Excuse

Cops: Conn. renter sells owner's stuff

Dec 24 2010

SOUTHBURY, Conn. — Police say a Connecticut man made $18,000 by selling antique cars and other stuff stored in a garage and two barns behind his rented residence.

On Left: Probably not the real Deane Moss but an imposterr

The stuff wasn't his. And it was worth $265,000, not $18,000.

Deane Moss was charged with first-degree larceny and 15 counts of third-degree burglary. He was released after his initial court appearance.

Moss rented the 6,500-square-foot Southbury home from the owner a year ago with a lease that expressly barred him from entering the storage areas.

He entered them and sold a 1940 Ford Coupe, a 1956 Chevrolet Bel Air, a riding mower, appliances and dozens of other items stored there.

Moss told police he suffers a chemical imbalance that made him delusional and think he owned the home and was selling his own stuff.

No one thought to ask why a single man would rent a 6,500-square-foot house?

Lobbying The Hard Way

Dec. 23, 2010

Romanian lobbyist takes dramatic, futile action

A disgruntled state-employed electrician hurled himself from a balcony overlooking the chamber of the Romanian parliament. His 23 foot plunge was in protest of government economic policies that have cut wages, whilst raising taxes and curtailing government programs.

The man's injuries were not life threatening and had little effect on legislators, half of whom walked out of the chamber in protest of the other half.

The only evidence of the man's dive was a loud thud when he hit the floor.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Ten Year-Old Diva Stuns Opera World

Jackie Evancho, a 10 year-old girl from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania with the voice of a seasoned opera star provides an amazing display of her vocal talent. Hearing is believing.

Dec. 23, 2010

Masturbating Mom Needs Privacy

Topless Woman Masturbating In Van Arrested On Gun Charge

A topless woman who was masturbating in a hotel parking lot is facing a weapons charge after Illinois cops investigating her auto eroticism discovered a loaded pistol in her vehicle.

A Naperville cop responding to an unrelated call spotted Vikki Myers, 44, in a van outside the Red Roof Inn. After initially claiming that she was changing clothes, Myers admitted to pleasuring herself in the vehicle, according to police.

That admission may have been prompted by a police officer’s discovery of what an officer described as “adult items that were used for self-pleasuring,”e.g., dildos.

In addition to copping to the vehicular masturbation,(is masturbating in your own parked vehicle at night in the parking lot of your temporary home, a hotel, a crime in Illinois?) Myers told cops that there was a loaded 9mm Sig Sauer handgun in the car, a weapon for which she did not have a state-issued Firearm Owners Identification card. Myers, pictured in the above mug shot, was charged with unlawful possession of a firearm.

It was not immediately clear why the woman had to remove her top to effectuate the self-pleasuring. That's what attracted the attention of the cop, himself an apparent voyeur, against whom Ms. Myers should prefer charges.

Additionally, lacking probable cause, the search of Meyers' vehicle was an illegal search and the discovery of the sexual implements and the handgun should be suppressed as the "fruit of the poisoned tree." 20+ years post Miranda and the cops still can't get it right?

It appears that Myers, who was staying at the hotel with her three children, had repaired to her 2002 Chrysler van for some alone time. And when you are a single mom, on the road all day with 3 children that's not a crime.

Welcome Back Clavin

Dec. 22, 2010
Deer Droppings, TX

The editorial staff of BizarreStuff is pleased to welcome the return of one of our most popular co-editors, Clavin. Clavin has spent the last 4 1/2 months in a rehab facility for recovering news and other substance junkies and public administration students in or within 800 miles of Amarillo, TX. The Graywolf has been forced to pick up the slack to keep our readers supplied with sufficient stupid, criminal, psychotic, para normal and nonsensical news to satisfy the most chaotic, disorganized and dangerous brains in the nation.

We at BizarreStuff wish all of you, our faithful readers, a healthy and fun-filled 2011, filled with an ever growing and shallower content of BizarreStuff.

Apres nous, rien de tout

Misunderstood, Misanthropic Oklahoma Math Teacher Does Her Duty To Uphold the Law

DECEMBER 22--A 13-year-old boy was arrested Friday for using a permanent marker while in class at his Oklahoma City middle school, a violation of an obscure city ordinance.

But the ordinance was not obscure to a vigilant math teacher, DeLynn Woodside. With one eye on her students and the other on enforcing the law, Woodside spotted one of her 13 year-old students in flagrant violation of the law, according to an Oklahoma City Police Department report, when he was observed in possession of a permanent marker and actually using it. The 50 year-old educator told police officer Miguel Campos that moreover, the boy was using the Sharpie Permanent Marker to “writ(e) on a piece of paper, which caused it to bleed over onto the desk.”

Woodside, pictured at right, reported that the child, whose name was redacted by police from the report, attempted to hide the marker when she asked him for it. Strangely, Woodside’s Facebook page reveals that her “likes and interests” include the official “Sharpie Permanent Markers” page on Facebook. It was thought that the educator is opposed to permitting the use of the permanent markers by juveniles, who have not acquired sufficient maturity to be entrusted with a "permanent" marker.

Campos reported that he allowed Woodside, a seventh grade math teacher, to “sign a citation” against the boy, who was then transported to the Community Intervention Center, a juvenile holding facility. A police sergeant subsequently “booked the marker into the property room as evidence.”

A police spokesman referred to the student’s bust as a “citizen’s arrest” effectuated by Woodside.

The marker ban--which apparently is aimed at curbing graffiti--stems from a city ordinance making it illegal to possess spray paint or a permanent marker on private property (without the owner’s permission). It was unclear whether or not jail time for the law-violating youth would be sought by the District Attorney's office.

The teacher apparently needs continuing ed classes in the use of the English language because "public" schools are not "private" property and not subject to the ordinance.

Missed my Eagle Scout badge by that much...

ANUSVILLE, Minn. — A 26-year-old man, one badge away from being an Eagle Scout, thought he was doing a good deed when he gave a 70-year-old woman a ride to a Minnesota bank.

But police say the woman robbed the bank, and the man was her unsuspecting getaway driver.

The man told the Free Press of Mankato that he thought the woman, who rents an apartment from his mother, was going to the bank to withdraw cash to pay her rent. "I figured if helping a little old lady across the street was a good deed, driving her across town would be a slam dunk badge."

Instead, employees of the Elysian State Bank reported Wednesday that an "elderly woman" told the teller she had a gun, an itchy trigger finger, and a hungry boy-toy waiting outside. The robber then demanded and received some cash and left.

Police stopped the car and took both, pictured above, into custody. After laughing their asses off and tweeting their kids, they determined the woman acted alone.

The Star Tribune reported the woman had a hammer but no gun. She's in jail pending charges, but is using her time wisely, learning how to hook from the pros. When asked to explain herself, she angrily exclaimed "The feds haven't given me a COLA in two frickin' years, my bingo money's dryin' up, and WalMart didn't need anymore greeters!! What's a good woman gonna do?!?!"

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Inhumanly Stupid Crook - There Are No Words To Describe This Level of Dumb

Cops - Office Manager steals $300K from U.S. employer - Claims diplomatic immunity as son of former diplomat

In a new, bizarre twist on an all-too-familiar crime, the Honolulu Star Advertiser reports that a former office manager stole $300,000 from a local law firm because he believed, as a former diplomat's son, that he was immune from prosecution.

Nigel Salmingo expressed shock and surprise on being informed by police that he was under arrest for stealing the money. He wanted to know if he could talk to his mother before going to jail, claiming she was the one who always told him he was immune from prosecution.

Nigel Salmingo, 31, pleaded guilty in state court in Hawaii last week to 37 counts of theft, forgery and money laundering concerning the money he took from Winer Meheula & Devens between 2007 and 2009. The son of a former Philippines consulate general to Hawaii in the 1990s, he will be deported when he has served his sentence because he is not a citizen.

Salmingo reportedly used the money to fund a lavish lifestyle. He escaped detection for 18 months as he had the law firm's bank and credit statements sent to his home and made false entries in its books to conceal his crimes, the article says.

He faces maximum terms of 10 years on first-degree theft and money laundering counts and five years on the other counts when he is sentenced next year. However, regardless of what amount of time he gets, Salmingo probably will be released in 18 months to two years, his lawyer, Michael Green, tells the newspaper. He indicated his client felt he should be excused because he didn't know he could be incarcerated for theft, given his dad's former diplomatic immunity. He also said he was sorry about the confusion and believes someone should have told him earlier.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Philidelphia Woman Offers Sex For World Series Tickets For Her Husband and Herself

Woman in sex-for-tix case 'embarrassed'
Is this the real woman?

Oct 28 2009 (A facsimile buxom blonde) >>

MARYCLAIRE DALE - Associated Press Writer

Susan Finkelstein faces a preliminary hearing in Bucks County on Dec. 3. On the bright side, she's been offered a pair of tickets to a weekend game in Philadelphia, courtesy of a radio station and car dealer.

The 43-year-old University of Pennsylvania graduate student wanted to take her husband to a game between her beloved Philadelphia Phillies and the New York Yankees. The self-described "buxom blonde" said she was simply trying to score tickets online, as she had in the past.

But this time her Craig's List ad was answered by an undercover cop and she was busted for solicitation of prostitution.

"It definitely wasn't worth all this ... turmoil and anxiety," she told the AP with her lawyer and her husband, 56-year-old John LaVoy, on the line. "Hopefully, the silver lining is I do get to see the game." Her husband appeared less enthusiastic.

She is not worried about the notoriety that might follow her to the stadium in the wake of national news coverage of her arrest.

"I think most people will be focused on the game," Finkelstein said. Her husband wasn't so sure.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Published Pedophile Charged in Florida

Fla. cops charge author of pedophilia guide

Dec 20 2010


(Pueblo County Colorado Sheriff's Office File Photo)

The above photo provided by the Pueblo County Colorado Sheriff's Office shows Philip Ray Greaves II, a writer and self-professed pedophile.

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. — Florida officials filed an obscenity charge Monday against the author of a self-published how-to guide for pedophiles that was yanked from last month after it generated online outrage. Colorado authorities arrested Philip Ray Greaves II at his home in Pueblo, Colo., on a warrant that charges him with violating Florida's obscenity law.

Sheriff Grady Judd in Polk County, Fla., said his office was able to arrest Greaves because he sold and mailed his book, "The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure: a Child-lover's Code of Conduct," directly to undercover Polk deputies. Judd says Greaves even signed the book.

"He very proudly sold us his personal copy," Judd told the Associated Press. "I was outraged by the content. It was clearly a manifesto on how to sexually batter children ... You just can't believe how absolutely disgusting it was."

Laurie Shorter, spokeswoman for the Pueblo County Sheriff's Department, said Greaves would be held in the county jail, where he was being booked Monday morning. It was unclear if he had an attorney. Judd said Greaves could be in Florida as early as Monday night.

"If he will waive extradition, it's my goal for him to eat processed turkey on Christmas Day in the Polk County Jail," Judd said.

Judd, who keeps a Bible on his desk, is known throughout Florida as a crusader against child predators. In past interviews, he said his campaign against child porn started when he was a vice officer and comes from his fervent commitment to protect children.

Denver attorney David Lane, who has handled several high-profile First Amendment cases, said Florida could have a hard time extraditing Greaves. He is entitled to a hearing where he can argue he should not be sent there to face charges.

"The main question is whether what he's accused of in Florida would be a crime in Colorado," Lane said. "Obviously, it's not a crime in Colorado because he hasn't been arrested here."

"Most other extradition cases present clear-cut cases, the defendant was dealing drugs in that other state or some other crime that is also illegal here," Lane said.

Other legal experts also question whether Greaves' right to free speech would come into play if there's a trial. If the government is willing to prohibit this book from being shipped and sold in Florida, what would prevent officials from prosecuting a bookseller who ships and sells Vladimir Nabokov's "Lolita," a novel about a pedophile?

"As bad as this book may be, the charge opens a very big Pandora's box," said Dennis J. Kenney, a former police officer in Polk County and a professor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice in New York. "The charge sounds to me like a significant overreach."

Greaves has no criminal record, but his self-published book of advice on how to make sexual encounters with children safe caused a flap when it showed up on Amazon in November.

Judd said he was incensed when he heard about the book and that no one had arrested Greaves for selling it.

"What's wrong with a society that has gotten to the point that we can't arrest child pornographers and child molesters who write a book about how to rape a child?" Judd said.

Detectives worked with the Polk County State Attorney to compile a warrant, which was then signed by a county judge, Judd said.

Florida' obscenity law _ a third-degree felony _ prohibits the "distribution of obscene material depicting minors engaged in conduct harmful to minors."

The book, Judd said, included first-person descriptions of sexual encounters, purportedly written from a child's point of view.

Greaves argues in the book that pedophiles are misunderstood, as the word literally means to love a child. He adds that it is only a crime to act on sexual impulses toward children, and offers advice that purportedly allows pedophiles to abide by the law.

The Polk Sheriff's Office quoted passages form the book in a press release, including the "guiding principles" and "standards of conduct" Greaves said pedophiles should abide by.

"Do not imagine that you have been given a mere code of ethics," Greaves wrote in the book. "Instead, consider that the nectar of love has been given from the hand of compassion and grace."

Judd said his undercover detectives got Greaves to sell the book to them for $50; he sent it through the mail and told officers it was his last copy.

"If we can get jurisdiction ... we're coming after you," Judd said. "There's nothing in the world more important than our children."


Associated Press Writers P. Solomon Banda and Kristen Wyatt in Denver contributed to this report.

South Carolina Woman Killed By Flying Pothole

Young wife, mother of 2 killed by a simple pothole

Dec 19 2010

(AP Photo/Ala. Department of Public Safety)

HEFLIN, Ala. — A South Carolina woman was slain by an Alabama pothole on March 15, 2010 along a rough, crumbling section of I-20.

The errant pothole came crashing through the windshield of the vehicle in which she was riding, killing her the following day. (Look at the size of that hole in the windshield of the vehicle!)

Using federal studies, the Washington-based transportation safety advocacy group TRIP estimates the United States could save 145 lives over a decade for every $100 million spent on a variety of road safety improvements and maintenance.

The cost is high and budget crunchers question if it is worth the money. That's almost $70,000 to keep one person alive. "These people are going to die eventually, so the process is just being sped up a bit by poor maintenance by the State of Alabama,"according to a highway department official who requested anonymity. Yeah, right. Her name is Betty Smith.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

A Wild, Wooly, And Bizarre Year 2010

Icelandic volcano eruption that grounded 7 million persons scheduled for air travel in Western Europe AP Photo/Brynjar Gauti

Seth Borenstein, Julie Reed Bell and the Editors of BizarreStuff

A short tour of the bizarre occurrences of a wild 2010:


While the Haitian earthquake, Russian heat wave, and Pakistani flooding were the biggest killers, deadly quakes also struck Chile, Turkey, China and Indonesia in one of the most active seismic years in decades. Through mid-December there have been 20 earthquakes of magnitude 7.0 or higher, compared to the normal 16. This year is tied for the most big quakes since 1970, but it is not a record. Nor is it a significantly above average year for the number of strong earthquakes, U.S. earthquake officials say.

Flooding alone this year killed more than 6,300 people in 59 nations through September, according to the World Health Organization. In the United States, 30 people died in the Nashville, Tenn., region in flooding. Inundated countries include China, Italy, India, Colombia and Chad. Super Typhoon Megi with winds of more than 200 mph devastated the Philippines and parts of China.

Through Nov. 30, nearly 260,000 people died in natural disasters in 2010, compared to 15,000 in 2009, according to Swiss Re. The World Health Organization, which hasn't updated its figures past Sept. 30, is just shy of 250,000. By comparison, deaths from terrorism from 1968 to 2009 were less than 115,000, according to reports by the U.S. State Department and the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory.

The last year in which natural disasters were this deadly was 1983 because of an Ethiopian drought and famine, according to WHO. Swiss Re calls it the deadliest since 1976.

The charity Oxfam says 21,000 of this year's disaster deaths are weather related.


After strong early year blizzards _ nicknamed Snowmageddon _ paralyzed the U.S. mid-Atlantic and record snowfalls hit Russia and China, the temperature turned to broil.

The year may go down as the hottest on record worldwide or at the very least in the top three, according to the World Meteorological Organization. The average global temperature through the end of October was 58.53 degrees, a shade over the previous record of 2005, according to the National Climatic Data Center.

Los Angeles had its hottest day in recorded history on Sept. 27: 113 degrees. In May, 129 set a record for Pakistan and may have been the hottest temperature recorded in an inhabited location.

In the U.S. Southeast, the year began with freezes in Florida that had cold-blooded iguanas becoming comatose and falling off trees. Then it became the hottest summer on record for the region. As the year ended, unusually cold weather was back in force.

Northern Australia had the wettest May-October on record, while the southwestern part of that country had its driest spell on record. And parts of the Amazon River basin struck by drought hit their lowest water levels in recorded history.


Disasters caused $222 billion in economic losses in 2010 _ more than Hong Kong's economy _ according to Swiss Re. That's more than usual, but not a record, Schraft said. That's because this year's disasters often struck poor areas without heavy insurance, such as Haiti.

Ghulam Ali's three-bedroom, one-story house in northwestern Pakistan collapsed during the floods. To rebuild, he had to borrow 50,000 rupees ($583) from friends and family. It's what many Pakistanis earn in half a year.


A volcano in Iceland paralyzed air traffic for days in Europe, disrupting travel for more than 7 million people. Other volcanoes in the Congo, Guatemala, Ecuador, the Philippines and Indonesia sent people scurrying for safety. New York City had a rare tornado.

A nearly 2-pound hailstone that was 8 inches in diameter fell in South Dakota in July to set a U.S. record. The storm that produced it was one of seven declared disasters for that state this year.

There was not much snow to start the Winter Olympics in a relatively balmy Vancouver, British Columbia, while the U.S. East Coast was snowbound.

In a 24-hour period in October, Indonesia got the trifecta of terra terror: a deadly magnitude 7.7 earthquake, a tsunami that killed more than 500 people and a volcano that caused more than 390,000 people to flee. That's after flooding, landslides and more quakes killed hundreds earlier in the year.

Even the extremes were extreme. This year started with a good sized El Nino weather oscillation that causes all sorts of extremes worldwide. Then later in the year, the world got the mirror image weather system with a strong La Nina, which causes a different set of extremes. Having a year with both a strong El Nino and La Nina is unusual.

And in the United States, FEMA declared a record number of major disasters, 79 as of Dec. 14. The average year has 34. If you and your friends missed out on your annual disaster, contact FEMA AT 1-800-Buzzoff. Ask for "Brownie."

Through September, the 2010 disaster death toll had already surpassed such notable years as 2004, when the South Asia tsunami struck, and 2008, when Myanmar was hit by a massive cyclone and China suffered a devastating earthquake.

A list of day-by-day disasters in 2010 compiled by the AP runs 64 printed pages long.

"The extremes are changed in an extreme fashion," said Greg Holland, director of the earth system laboratory at the National Center for Atmospheric Research.

For example, even though it sounds counterintuitive, global warming likely played a bit of a role in "Snowmageddon" earlier this year, Holland said. That's because with a warmer climate, there's more moisture in the air, which makes storms including blizzards, more intense, he said.

White House science adviser John Holdren said we should get used to climate disasters or do something about global warming: "The science is clear that we can expect more and more of these kinds of damaging events unless and until society's emissions of heat-trapping gases and particles are sharply reduced."

And that's just the "natural disasters." It was also a year of man-made technological catastrophes. BP's busted oil well caused 172 million gallons to gush into the Gulf of Mexico. Mining disasters _ men trapped deep in the Earth _ caused dozens of deaths in tragic collapses in West Virginia, China and New Zealand. The fortunate miners in Chile who survived 69 days underground provided the feel good story of the year.

In both technological and natural disasters, there's a common theme of "pushing the envelope," Olson said.

Colorado's Bilham said the world's population is moving into riskier megacities on fault zones and flood-prone areas. He figures that 400 million to 500 million people in the world live in large cities prone to major earthquakes.

A Haitian disaster will happen again, Bilham said: "It could be Algiers. it could be Tehran. It could be any one of a dozen cities."


Aral Sea - Going, Going...Gone

Dec. 19, 2010


One of the most glaring examples of the growing impact of global warming is the virtual disappearance of the Aral Sea in Uzbekistan. At one time the Aral was the 4th largest lake in the world. Now it is a dried up ghost of its former self.

This photo is the current view of the ship graveyard near Muynak over the dried up Aral Sea in Uzbekistan. The Aral Sea has shrunk by 90 percent. (AP Photo/Alexander Zemlianichenko)

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Polite Groper and Masturbator Arrested at Courthouse

Courthouse Groper Itching To Be Busted
Floridian, 41, nabbed after pervy Judicial Center spree

Dec. 18, 2010

Tony Gustin, a 41-year-old Florida man was at the courthouse in Bradenton yesterday morning for an appearance on a minor traffic incident. While in the elevator, Gustin struck up a conversation with a woman there on a child support matter. As the 19-year-old exited the elevator, Gustin “reached out to her with his left hand (shown above) and grabbed her left breast and squeezed it,” according to a police report.

He then told the woman "thank you and have a nice day,” cops noted.

The woman reported the incident to a case worker, who sought to track down the elevator groper. After Gustin, pictured above, was located on the courthouse’s sixth floor, a second woman approached investigators to report that he had just masturbated in front of her.

After being handcuffed and read his Miranda rights, Gustin denied the grope, claiming he was alone in the elevator. As for the second woman, he acknowledged that he “called a girl over to him because he thought he knew her.” While admitting that his hands were in his pants, Gustin said, “I had an itch.”

When cop Debbie Perry asked why he would call someone over while scratching himself, Gustin had a ready explanation: “Because I thought she might scratch it for me.”

The unemployed Gustin was booked into the Manatee County jail on a misdemeanor battery count. He is being held in lieu of $750 for his courthouse actions.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Home of the Brave, Land of Solitary Confinement - The Two Faces of Bradley Manning

Bradley Manning's Prison Hell

Dec 17 2010

Denver Nicks, The Daily Beast

Bradley Manning, who allegedly leaked hundreds of thousands of secret government documents to Julian Assange's WikiLeaks, turns 23 in jail Friday. The Daily Beast's Denver Nicks, in an exclusive interview with Manning's attorney, reports on his solitary confinement, what he's reading (from George W. Bush to Howard Zinn), and his legal strategy.

The last time Bradley Manning saw the world outside of a jail, most Americans had never heard of WikiLeaks. On Friday, Manning, the man whose alleged unauthorized release of hundreds of thousands of classified documents put the website and its controversial leader, Julian Assange, on the map, turns 23 behind bars. Since his arrest in May, Manning has spent most of his 200-plus days in solitary confinement. Other than receiving a card and some books from his family, his birthday will be no different. In an exclusive interview with The Daily Beast, his attorney, David Coombs, revealed key details about Manning's imprisonment and kind gestures from his family that provided a bit of comfort in the inmate's otherwise extremely harsh incarceration.

"They're thinking about him on his birthday, that they love and support him," Coombs said of Manning's family and the card his mother, father, sister and aunt passed along via the lawyer on Wednesday. "They wish they could be with him on his day, but they are not allowed because visitation is only on Saturday and Sunday, and a family member would be going down to see him on Saturday." Coombs passed a message to Manning from his aunt on behalf of the family; Manning, the lawyer says, asked Coombs to tell his aunt he loved her and wishes he could be with her as well.

Manning asked for a list of books, which his family bought for him and will be delivered over the next few weeks to coincide with his birthday and Christmas. On the list?

Decision Points, by George W. Bush; Critique of Practical Reason, by Immanuel Kant; Critique of Pure Reason, by Immanuel Kant; Propaganda, by Edward Bernayse; The Selfish Gene, by Richard Dawkins; A People's History of the United States, by Howard Zinn; The Art of War, by Sun Tzu; The Good Soldiers, by David Finkel; On War by Gen. Carl von Clausewitz.

Manning is being held at Marine Corps Base Quantico, in Virginia. He spends 23 hours a day alone in a standard-sized cell, with a sink, a toilet, and a bed. He isn't allowed sheets or a pillow, though First Lieutenant Brian Villiard, an officer at Quantico, said he is allowed bedding of "non-shreddable" material. "I've held it, I've felt it, it's soft, I'd sleep under it," he told The Daily Beast.

He isn't allowed to exercise (Quantico officials dispute this), but he has started stretching and practicing yoga.

For an hour every day, a television is wheeled in front of his cell and he's allowed to watch TV, including news, though usually local news, Coombs told The Daily Beast. He is allowed to read the news as well. Courtesy of Coombs, Manning now has a subscription to his favorite magazine, Scientific American. The November "Hidden Worlds of Dark Matter" issue was his first.

The conditions under which Bradley Manning is being held would traumatize anyone (see Salon's Glenn Greenwald for a rundown of the legal and psychological issues associated with extended solitary confinement.) He lives alone in a small cell, denied human contact. He is forced to wear shackles when outside of his cell, and when he meets with the few people allowed to visit him, they sit with a glass partition between them. The only person other than prison officials and a psychologist who has spoken to Manning face to face is his attorney, who says the extended isolation-now more than seven months of solitary confinement-are weighing on his client's psyche. (And is evident in his physical appearance. At 23 he looks like a 40 year-old man. The editor)

When he was first arrested, Manning was put on suicide watch, but his status was quickly changed to "Prevention of Injury" watch (POI), and under this lesser pretense he has been forced into his life of mind-numbing tedium. His treatment is harsh, punitive and taking its toll, says Coombs.

"The command is basing this treatment of him solely on the nature of the pending charges, and on an unrelated incident where a service member in the facility took his own life," Coombs said, referencing the February suicide of a marine captain in the Quantico brig. Coombs says he believes Quantico officials are keeping Manning under close watch with strict limitations on his activity out of an overabundance of caution. Both Coombs and Manning's psychologist, Coombs says, are sure Manning is mentally healthy, that there is no evidence he's a threat to himself, and shouldn't be held in such severe conditions under the artifice of his own protection.

Manning, of Potomac, Maryland, faces a military court-martial on charges of providing WikiLeaks with classified information in violation of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. He plans to plead not guilty when brought to trial. His future remains uncertain.

Rep. Ted Poe (R-TX) followed with a call for punishment. "I have no sympathy for the alleged thief in this situation," Poe said, insisting the source of the leak, whoever it is, be held responsible. "He's no better than a Texas pawn shop dealer that deals in stolen merchandise and sells it to the highest bidder."

Manning's fate will be determined over the following months. What is clear today is that he's being held in extraordinarily harsh conditions-notably harsher than Bryan Minkyu Martin, the naval intelligence specialist who allegedly tried to sell military secrets to an undercover FBI agent, and is currently being held awaiting trial, though not in solitary confinement. Manning, who has been convicted of nothing, has spent the better part of a year incommunicado, living the life of a man convicted of a heinous crime. Coombs challenges the legality of what he says is "unlawful pretrial punishment." He is working to lift the POI restrictions placed on his client.


Denver Nicks is an editorial assistant at The Daily Beas

Oklahoma Killer Executed With Drugs Used to Euthanize Animals

Dec. 17, 2010

Inmate Killed Like a Dog or Cat

A death row inmate in Oklahoma was injected with a drug used by veterinarians to euthanize animals. Due to a shortage of the drugs normally used in human executions, the Oklahoma prison system decided to use the untried drug on John Duty, 59, who was convicted of killing his prison cellmate.

When strapped to the gurney on which he was executed John said he was sorry. That possibly made everything okay and the victim's family went home happy.

The warden was happy, too. If the execution had gone badly the warden could have been looking for a new line of work and the family of the vegetized prisoner looking for a good lawyer.

One More Reason Not To Marry A Lawyer

Lawyer Sues Ex-Fiancé for Jilting Her Days Before an Exhorbitant, Planned Wedding - Not Expected to Prevail

Dec 13, 2010

An Illinois lawyer is suing her former fiance for dumping her only a few days before the planned nuptials.

The lawyer, shown here, says he broke a promise and caused her emotional distress. Duh!

Substitute photo. Actual lawyer declined to provide photo.

The "It's all about me." lawyer spent more than $100,000 on wedding preparations, including breast augmentation surgery, and claims the ex-fiance should reimburse her. She also says the ex-fiance engaged in lewd publc behavior at his bachelor party, including accepting lap dances. She said she spent thousands getting big boobs for him and that should have been enough. Now she has no use for the 52 double E cups.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Brooklyn Thug Tries Novel Online Customer Dis-satisfaction Approach To Boost Ranking

Vitaly Borker, Notorious Online Bully

Dec. 15, 2010

Meet Vitaly Borker - American Businessman and General Thug

The Brooklyn man was arrested by federal investigators last week on a variety of felony charges related to his operation of a web site selling eyeglasses. Borker, 34, hid his face during a perp walk, but here's a photo obtained from our secret source.

The ersatz businessman attracted national attention when he openly bragged to The New York Times that he deliberately abused and bullied customers of in order to get a higher Google search result ranking.

Borker faces decades in prison if convicted of cyberstalking, making interstate threats, mail fraud, and wire fraud. He is being held without bail at the federal detention center in Brooklyn.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Why Every Home Or Apartment Should Have A Lawn Sprinkler System

Shooting of man holding water nozzle angers family

Dec 14 2010

This image released by the Long Beach Police shows the black pistol grip water hose nozzle held by Doug Zerby (below, with sister) before being shot to death by Long Beach cops.

LONG BEACH, Calif. -- Angry relatives of a man shot to death by police who mistook a pistol-grip water nozzle he held for a gun are lashing out at officers, saying they made no effort to contact him before opening fire.

However, police officials say Douglas Zerby's behavior prompted the trigger happy officers' response. An unauthorized spokeswoman for the cops told unauthorized reporters that most cops never have the opportunity to shoot a suspect, much less kill one. All those hours spent at the firing range and then no one to shoot? It's got to be frustrating.

"As the subject was in a seated position, he used a two-handed pistol-grip hold on an object with his arms fully extended," Long Beach Police Chief Jim McDonnell said in police speak. "Somebody that is impaired and waving what appears to witnesses and police to be a handgun. That's what the officers were faced with." (These officers were so impaired they were unable to distinguish between a water nozzle connected to a water hose and a handgun.) Sheesh!

Zerby pointed it at one of the officers and two officers fired their weapons, a handgun and a shotgun. A total of eight shots were fired -- two from shot gun and six from a handgun, McDonnell said. The officers were making sure the alleged gunman was DRT. (Dead Right There)

Zerby's sister, Eden Marie Biele, said officers made no attempt to talk to her 35-year-old brother or get his attention before shooting him to death.

"They didn't say 'Put your hands up' or 'Freeze' or anything," Biele told The Associated Press Monday. "He was killed in cold blood."

Biele was among the family members whose sobs were heard among McDonnell's explanations of the events leading to Zerby's death on Sunday.

"This is a very unfortunate set of circumstances and leaves the family to deal with it here," McDonnell said, offering his condolences to the Zerby family.

The Long Beach officers were dispatched to an apartment building after two people reported a man with a gun sitting on a backyard porch landing, McDonnell said. In an excerpt of a 911 call played for reporters, a male caller said the man appeared to have a "tiny six-shooter."

McDonnell said the officers took positions to observe Zerby, who appeared intoxicated, and believed he had a gun as described by the callers, but focused on setting up containment of the area rather than contacting him. The officers were trying to protect all the citizens of Long Beach, according to a recorded message played over police speakers.

As officers awaited requested backup units, the man pointed the object at apartments and played with it, causing it to make sounds similar to those of a gun being handled, he said. Everyone knows a water hose sounds like a gun being handled.

Both officers were placed on administrative leave, a standard move after a police shooting. One said he was taking this opportunity to take his kids to Disneyland.

Biele said the family is considering legal action over the shooting.

She said Zerby, who had an 8-year-old son, had been drinking and rather than drive home, went to his friend's place and was waiting on the stairs for him to come home.

"He never knew there was a problem. Police snuck down the corridor and shot him," Biele said. "He was a drunk sitting on a stoop fumbling with a hose nozzle."

Woman Prepares To Get Stoned, But Not in A Good Way.

Islamabad, Afganistan

Dec. 14, 2010

Celebrities including Robert Redford, Robert De Niro, and Sting have called on Iran to release a woman sentenced to death by stoning for adultery. In an open letter published Monday, more than 80 performers and academics said that "Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani has suffered enough."

Ashtiani, 43, was convicted in 2006 of having an "illicit relationship" with two men after the murder of her husband the year before and was sentenced at that time to 99 lashes. She was later convicted of adultery and sentenced to be stoned.

It was not made clear whether the adultery occurred with each man individually or whether it was part of a threesome.

In separate trials each of the men was sentenced to read selected passages from the Koran for 10 days. The mens' attorneys have said they plan to appeal the sentences as being excessively harsh under sharia law. "Three to five days of Koran reading is the usual punishment for male adultery. "The court is trying to make an example of these men because of the publicity surrounding the case," according to one of the lawyers, who filed a petition with the court to overturn the verdict and sentence for his client.

The photo is of Ms. Ashtiani, during a fitting for her stoning, whenever it is scheduled.