Saturday, March 31, 2012

Dumb Florida Criminal Facilitates Own Bust

MARCH 29, 2012

Bradenton woman hiding drugs in dentures, deputies say

MANATEE -- A woman with bad teeth was arrested for hiding drugs inside her dentures.

Theresa DeMarco, 56, was driving on First Street when a deputy stopped her for a loud muffler. When the deputy spoke with DeMarco and a passenger in her car, they "appeared extremely nervous," the report shows.

The deputy gave her a written warning for the muffler, and DeMarco stupidly allowed him to search the car and he found a hydromorphone pill where the passenger was seated and the passenger was arrested. The passenger then ratted out her friend and told the deputy that DeMarco kept walking away from the car to destroy some crack cocaine and that she was hiding more pills in her dentures.

When the deputy confronted DeMarco, she removed the pills from her dentures and swallowed them.

Friday, March 30, 2012

Self Bondage Or Stupid?

Conn. police free sex shop customer from handcuffs

Mar 29 2012

Associated Press


Assistant Police Chief Ed Koether tells the Connecticut Post newspaper ( ) officers were called Thursday afternoon to an adult entertainment store in Orange, a town just west of New Haven. A man had been trying on the cuffs and locked himself in a pair.

Koether says shop employees couldn't get the man free and called the fire department and then police.

The cuffs were similar to the kind police officers carry. But Koether says the officers tried several keys that didn't work. The handcuffs had to be removed with bolt cutters.

Koether says he doesn't know if the man had to pay for the broken handcuffs.

76 Year-Old Man Survives Ten Days In Nevada Desert

Stranded man survives 10 days on snow and ditch water; friend dies

Mar 29 2012 07:22PM CST

MICHELLE RINDELS, Associated Press

In this Aug. 11, 2011 photo provided by Julie Good is James Klemovich who was recently found after being stranded in a Nevada desert. The Littleton, Colorado man survived 10 days in the remote Nevada desert by melting snow and using skills he learned as a Boy Scout, but the Lovelock, Nev., man he was traveling with has been found dead. Pershing County Sheriff Richard Machado says 76-year-old Klemovich was in good health near his vehicle when he was found Tuesday by military personnel holding training exercises in the area. (AP Photo/Julie Good)

James Klemovich has diabetes, wears a pacemaker and had a triple bypass heart surgery, his wife said.

When the military personnel found Klemovich, they gave him a banana, two oranges and three boiled eggs.

Szabo, of Lovelock, Nev., was found dead about a mile and a half away. An autopsy is being performed.

James Klemovich is still in Nevada, waiting for the car to be recovered before returning home. He was treated and released from a hospital.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Batman A Scoflaw?

The RidicuList: Batman pulled over by Penn. cops

Holy traffic violations! Batman gets busted for not having a proper license plate.

Superhero alleges profiling by cops because he is dressed in black.

Prostitutes On Strike For Needy Families - No Sex For Spanish Bankers

A national sex strike! Spain's 'high-class hookers refuse to sleep with bankers until they open up credit lines to cash-strapped families'

Top-end prostitutes say strike to continue until bankers offer credit

27 March 2012

Spain's high-class escorts are refusing to have sex with the nation's bankers - until they open up credit lines to cash-strapped families and firms.

Madrid's top-end prostitutes say their indefinite strike will continue until bank employees 'fulfil their responsibility to society' and start offering bigger loans for struggling Spaniards, it has been claimed.

Sneaky bankers were trying to circumvent the protest by claiming to be architects or engineers, the sex-workers said.

Read more:

Necrophilia In Ohio

Michigan Man Indicted on Ohio Corpse Abuse Charge

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS and Editors of BizarreStuff

Published: March 28, 2012 at 9:52 AM ET

TOLEDO, Ohio (AP) — A Michigan man has been indicted in Ohio on an abuse of a corpse charge following accusations that he fondled a dead woman's body when he worked at a funeral home.

Lawrence Clement of Temperance, Mich., was indicted Tuesday in Lucas County. The 57-year-old has been fired from H.H. Birkenkamp Funeral Home in Toledo since the allegations surfaced.

The son of a 51-year-old woman who died of multiple organ failure has said he and his sister were told earlier this month that the body was mistreated and another funeral home employee witnessed the fondling.

Clement may have believed the fondling was consensual because the dead woman did not object.

The Ohio Board of Embalmers and Funeral Directors says the funeral home contacted the board about the matter.

A telephone message left for Clement's attorney before business hours Wednesday wasn't immediately returned.

How To Succeed At Not Succeeding - Or Not

Man cuts off foot, throws it in furnace to avoid job assignment staff

Hours before unemployment officials were to determine whether he was physically fit for work, an Austrian man sawed off his left foot with an electric saw, Austrian broadcaster ORF reported.

The 56-year-old man had just learned that his benefits could be slashed if he did not accept work found for him, the Daily Mail reported.

He reportedly placed the severed foot in a wood stove to make sure doctors could not reattach it to his leg.
On Monday, after his wife and son had left the house, Hans Url, positioned his left leg against an electric saw in the boiler room and severed his foot above the ankle. Images from the scene show an electric table saw – apparently wiped clean – surrounded by shallow pools of blood. On the stove were a lighter and ashtray filled with cigarette butts.
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Bleeding profusely and on the verge of death, Url called an ambulance. Emergency staff found him covered in blood, and they retrieved the foot from the fire.

Url was airlifted to a hospital in Graz. Hospital officials said he nearly died from loss of blood, according to the Daily Mail. Url is now out of danger, but doctors were not able to reattach his foot because it was too badly burned.
"He wants to work, but gets nothing suitable," Monika, Url's wife of 36 years, told the Kronen Zeitung. "My husband felt so worthless."

On Tuesday, Url was transferred to the psychiatric ward of the Graz regional hospital. "He apologized to me and told me how sorry he was," Monika told the Austrian newspaper. "He did it deliberately at the time when we -- my son and I -- were out of the house."

The rescue helicopter was waiting in front of the house when Monika returned. "Now I know that my husband was very scared of this health examination," she told the Krone. "He wants to work. But the job he imagines for himself doesn't exist."
Url's daughter Petra said her father once worked on a golf course, and he was happiest when working outdoors, according to the Austrian paper. She said he had received a number of such jobs in the past, but they only lasted several months at a time.
Police spokesman Franz Fasching said police were investigating the case as an attempted suicide. “The planning was meticulous," Fasching said.

Meticulous, perhaps, but possibly not a success. Url may still qualify for work despite the amputation, the Daily Mail reported.
The Daily Mail quoted Hermann Gössinger, spokesman for the unemployment center where Url was supposed to have been examined, as saying that “this is a tragic case but it will not help the man. He will be assessed once he is out of hospital and we will see what work we can find for him.”

Url has been unemployed -- with brief interruptions -- since 2003. The Kronen Zeitung reported he suffers from depression. In 2010, he spent 11 days in a psychiatric clinic in Graz.

"The family is at least firmly behind him," Monika told the paper. "Together we can get over this."

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Drunken Polish Paramour Rides Horse Into House

Chivalry isn’t dead, but it is missing a few brain cells.

How else to explain the rum-soaked romantic technique employed by a Polish man who tried to woo a maiden by riding into her home on a horse?

Instead, Jan Rudnicki, 40, of Jarnoltowka, Poland, is facing five years behind bars for aggravated breaking and entry after galloping up the garden path of his lady fair, Gosia Domoslawska, and smashing his way through the front door like a battering ram, according to the Croatian Times.

Like many failed romantic attempts, this one was hatched after a night of drinking.

Domoslawska was watching TV when Rudnicki allegedly showed up stripped to the waist on the horse and smashed the door like a battering ram.

Her heart did start beating faster, but it was more from terror than romantic desire. And her heart really dropped when she found out Rudnicki was reportedly responsible.

“He’s a loon,” she told the paper. "I never fancied him before and I certainly don’t now. If this was supposed to win my heart he must be seriously off his rocker."

Rudnicki, a divorced dad with seven children, has apologized and offered to pay to fix the door, but a police spokesman says he will still be punished.

"At first we thought Jan was joking," Mirek Nowak, a friend of his, told the Daily Mail. "But then he went outside, climbed onto this horse - which he’d ridden to the pub - and set off bare-breasted and bare-backed."

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Man Tries To Steal 19" TV By Hiding It In His Pants

Man arrested with TV in pants

Eric King's mugshot.

Feb. 26, 2012

EAGAN, Minn., Feb. 26 (UPI) -- A Minnesota man was charged for allegedly trying to leave a store with a 19-inch TV in his pants, police said.

Eric Lee King, 21, of Columbia Heights was charged with misdemeanor shoplifting and fifth-degree felony possession of a controlled substance Friday in Dakota County District Court, St. Paul Pioneer Press reported.

On Dec. 5, a police officer said he saw King drop a box of candy in a store parking lot in Eagan. But when the officer called out to King to alert him, King did not respond and the officer then noticed King was walking strangely.

The officer drove up to King and honked his horn to get his attention, but King still did not respond.

The officer got out of his car to confront King, who reached into his pants, prompting the officer to handcuff him.

After King was handcuffed, the officer noticed a large rectangular object in King's pants, which turned out to be a 19-inch, flat-screen television. The officer also found other items, including a remote control, power cords and a bottle of brake fluid, on King.

A bottle of Xanax pills allegedly was found in his pocket.

French Lover Loses Penis To Irate Boyfriend

Man cut off rival's penis in fit of anger

March. 9, 2012

Photo is of rival before penectomy

PARIS, March 9 (UPI) -- A man told a jury in France he cut off the penis of his girlfriend's lover and flushed it down a toilet in a fit of madness.

Blaise Fragione, 38, said when he found out that his partner of 14 years was having an affair "everything broke down," the local news reported Friday.

The victim of Fragione's 2008 attack told the court Fragione tied him up with cables and used a razor blade to mutilate him.

Fragione faces up to 15 years in prison if found guilty of the charge of aggravated assault accompanied by mutilation.

A verdict in the case is expected shortly officials said.

It was not clear who the girlfriend is presently involved with.

© 2012 United Press International, Inc. All Rights R

Read more:

They Kill Horses Don't They?

March 17, 2012

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Horse racing has long withstood the deaths of its skittish, injury-prone thoroughbreds. Hollywood proved it lacks the stomach for it.

HBO abruptly cancelled its racetrack drama series "Luck" this past week after three horses used in the production were injured and euthanized during 10 months of filming in the last two years.

The abrupt fall of "Luck," which will end its single-season run on March 25, reveals the chasm between the racing and entertainment industries.

At the track, a horse puts its life on the line so gamblers can stake $2 or more to win, place or show, with the industry and fans accepting the danger to animals and jockeys as a harsh part of the bargain.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Bikers' Final Ride - A Hog Hearse

A coffins rests inside Joerg Grossmann's motorcycle combination demonstrating how the coffin would rest inside, with a Kawasaki VN 1500 fitted with a sidecar on a road near Usingen, Germany, on Friday, March 16, 2012. The 48 year old Grossmann who calls himself a chauffeur for the deceased, developed his motorbike hearse for die-hard bikers who want a last ride to their final resting place. Grossman has only done one funeral with his motorbike hearse but anticipates many more orders for his bespoke funeral service and plans to build more Harley Hearses. (AP Photo/Michael Probst)

BERLIN (AP) — A German man says people are dying for a ride in the sidecar of one of his Harleys — literally.

Joerg Grossmann said Friday that his prototype hearse for die-hard bikers who want to ride until the very end — a special sidecar fitted to his motorcycle — made its first funeral run last month.

The original's a Kawasaki but the 48-year-old from near Frankfurt says 10 of his patented Harley hearses, each costing about ¬60,000 ($78,000), are currently being assembled and will be ready later this year.

He's counting on 1,000 bookings per year in Germany alone at ¬1,200 ($1,600) each, compared to ¬200 for a normal hearse, and already has a contract in Switzerland and is in talks elsewhere.

He says people are really excited about the Harley hearse: "It's something special."

Buffoon Cameraman Crushes Tiny Bunny Rabbit

TV cameraman accidentally crushes celebrity bunny

Natalie DiBlasio, USA TODAY
March 16, 2012

CAPTION By Uwe Meinhold, AP

Til, a two-week old earless bunny, seemed destined to become Germany's newest animal celebrity until a TV cameraman accidentally stepped on the bunny, instantly crushing him to death.

The unidentified cameraman was filming a story on the small zoo in Saxony as it prepared to present the 17-day-old bunny to the world at a press conference.

He says he didn't see Til, who was covered with hay, when he took a step backward, Spiegel Online reports.

"He was immediately dead, he didn't suffer," zoo director Uwe Dempewolf tells the website for the magazine Der Spiegel. "It was a direct hit. No one could have foreseen this. Everyone here is upset. The cameraman was distraught."

Several burly German men have volunteered to crush the cameraman, who should at least be charged with animal cruelty.

Spiegel Online notes that earless rabbits are very rare and Til would have been a media sensation in Germany, which has a history of worshipping furry baby animals.

Til's body will now be frozen while zoo officials decide whether to have him stuffed.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Feline Rejects Jogging - Owner Cited

Colo. man ticketed after cat refuses to go for jog

Mar. 15, 2012
Associated Press

Probably not the actual cat

LAFAYETTE, Colo. (AP) — Police in Lafayette, Colo., have ticketed a man who is accused of tying his cat to a rock after the feline refused to go jogging.

Sgt. Fred Palmer says 19-year-old Seth Franco brought his cat on a leash to the path around Waneka Lake Park on Wednesday, but the cat was unable to keep up.

According to the Boulder Daily Camera ( ), witnesses told police that Franco secured the cat's leash to a rock while he finished his run. A passer-by called police.

Franco was ticketed on suspicion of "domestic animal cruel treatment," a municipal offense.

Palmer says an ordinance in the city, about 20 miles north of Denver, "prohibits that kind of tethering."

The cat wasn't injured, so it was released to its owner.

Franco nor the cat could immediately be reached for comment.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Dad Demonstrates Sportsmanship To Son and Son's Teammates: Is Arrested & Charged With Mayhem

Bad Dad attacks opposing coach after son's basketball team's loss.

An angry dad attacked a 6th grade basketball coach after his son's team lost a game, then bit off part of the coach's ear.

The stricken coach was rushed to a local hospital where he underwent surgery to have the severed portion of his ear reattached.

The attack occurred Friday night at Holy Name School in Springfield, Mass., after his son's team lost in the Catholic Youth Organization finals, Timothy Lee Forbes, shown above, punched the winning coach, then bit off part of his ear, said Hampden assistant district attorney Marie Angers. Several of the 10-12 year old kids, who had gathered on the court to shake hands, were knocked to the floor and left crying after the incident.

People at the game pulled Forbes off the coach -- but he fled the gym before cops arrived.

The CYO Basketball League said it was "stunned by this act against one of our most dedicated coaches" and that it was the first time anything like it had occurred in league history.

Forbes, 34, turned himself in to authorities at the Springfield courthouse on Monday. He pleaded not guilty to disorderly conduct, assault and battery, felony mayhem and other charges. He faces a hearing this week to determine if he'll pose a public threat if released on bail.

His attorney Philip Lauro said his client has no prior record and strong ties to the community. However, police say that Forbes has a criminal history.

Words were exchanged that ignited the "horrific outburst," the attorney said. Neither of the youth teams involved were affiliated with Holy Name or the local Catholic Diocese.

Another father was recently ejected from a girl's state tournament hockey game in Massachusetts for shining a laser pointer into the eyes of players on the opposing team.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Big, Big Mama Of Quintuplets @ 33 Weeks

Mother of Quintuplets reveals size at 33 weeks of pregnancy

Why Don't We Do It In A Pig Pen?

Davis, OK

77-year-old man in southern Oklahoma charged with violating a pig.

Jimmy "Hawkeye" Jeter, of Davis, was arrested Thursday after a camera allegedly caught him sexually assaulting a show pig. The incident occurred in an agriculture barn on property belonging to Davis Public Schools, police said.

According to court documents obtained by KFOR-TV, Jeter walked into the pig pen, "unzipped his pants, appeared to pull something out of his pants, then bent over" a female pig.

Questioned by police about his alleged illegal activities, Jeter denied having sexual intercourse with the pig.

"I just stuck my finger up her private. That's all I did," Jeter said, according to police.

The man also allegedly admitted he was sexually gratified by the incident and told police he "did this in the early '70s."

The pig was not questioned by police or examined by a veterinarian in connection with the incident, nor was the pig's identity revealed. Her only statement was a loud "oink."

Jeter has a previous criminal record and served prison time in 2008 for cattle theft and was arrested in 2011 for allegedly stealing horses, local radio station KTOK reported.

There was no indication what use Jeter had for the cows and horses. He does not own any property.

According to Kansas City's FOX 4 News, Jeter has been charged with "a detestable and abominable crime against nature" for the latest incident and was booked into the Murray County Jail.

One More Reason To Abandon Facebook

Washington woman finds husband's other wife on Facebook

SEATTLE (AP) – A corrections officer is facing bigamy charges after authorities said a Washington woman using Facebook discovered that she and a potential "friend" were married to him at the same time.

Photo of unrelated woman, neither of O'Neill's wives.

A Washington woman found her husband's other wife through a Facebook "People You May Know" friend suggestion.

Alan L. O'Neill married a woman in 2001, left her in 2009, changed his name and remarried without divorcing Number 1. Most people think this was stupid.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Voyeur or Self Defense?

Cops: Pa. man used transmitter to track wife's sex

Mar 08 2012
Associated Press and Editors of BizarreStuff

ALIQUIPPA, Pa. (AP) — Police have charged a Pennsylvania man with hiding a remote listening device under his estranged wife's bed that he said he used to be able to avoid overhearing her sex life in the house they still shared.

Raccoon Township police say 66-year-old Wayne Comet Cripe's wife contacted them after finding the transmitter under her bed last month. The Cripes are separated, but still share a home with separate bedrooms.

The Beaver County Times ( ) reports Thursday that Cripe acknowledged using the device, telling officers he put it there so he'd know when his wife and her boyfriend were having sex.

Police say Cripe was tired of overhearing the lovemaking and tried to use the device, which he said didn't work, to determine whether "the coast was clear" before returning home. Cripe told police the above photo does not actually depict his former wife and her lover, who both are overweight, but was used only to demonstrate what it sounded like to him from other rooms in the house. He said he could not sleep because of all the racket made by the pair when coupling and that, due to their combined weight, they caused the house to shake.

An irate Ms. Cripe, who weighs 285 pounds, said Cripe's complaints were just sour grapes because he still wanted to have sex with her.

No attorney is listed for Cripe in court records.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

California Kook In Cannon Caper

Calif. woman dies when boyfriend's homemade cannon explodes

Michael Winter, USA TODAY
March 7, 2012

A 38-year-old woman inside a mobile home was killed early today by shrapnel from a homemade cannon that exploded when her boyfriend fired it, U-T San Diego reports.

The couple's 4-year-old daughter and three adults inside the trailer were not hurt. The woman's identify is being withheld until her family is notified.

Richard Fox, 39, told investigators he had loaded the makeshift cannon with gunpowder from fireworks before igniting it, said sheriff's Sgt. David Martinez. He was treated for shrapnel wounds to his right leg when the device, which was near the trailer in Potrero, east of San Diego, blew up just after midnight.

Fox was charged with willfully and maliciously exploding or igniting a destructive device or explosive causing death. Martinez said alcohol may have played a role. Fox was drunk as a skunk.

A friend and neighbor told U-T San Diego that Fox "liked experimenting with guns, and it looks like this experiment went bad." Fox apparently had the csnnon pointed at one end of the trailer where he lived with others, and the shrapnel went right through his trailer house.

Others said Fox was brain dead to begin with so no big loss but his girlfriend was nice and didn't deserve to be stuck with Fox.

The photo is not the actual homemade cannon used by Fox because it was blown to smithereens when it exploded. A distant cousin said Fox couldn't make a shoebox our of a shoebox.

Longoria Leads Great Tit Exposure Race

The World

In the ongoing contest to determine which female celebrity can expose the most tit without actually revealing a full nipple, the Desperate Housewives actress Eva Longoria topped the charts in the daring exposure of her right boob at a ball celebrating her own charity.

No, the charity does not award free peeks at Longoria's tits to needy men. But all the men and women at the ball who hadn't already slept with her got a free treat to almost 3/4ths of the actor's right boob. (See photo)

Janet Jackson actually bared a full breast with nipple at a Superbowl halftime show, but it was an alleged accident (sure) and led to a fine of the TV network for showing the full tit with nipple.

Of course Janet's boobs are no match for those of Longoria so it wasn't really a contest.

It seems inevitable that one of the top female celebrities is ultimately going to reveal one or both of her full, nipple bare, teats on a national network program. Leno and Letterman should be all over this.

So, Bizarre Stuff is holding a contest to determine which female celebrity is most likely to win the honor of first full tit barer. Enter your choice in the comments space below and Bizarre Stuff will tally and publish the results, and one day, hopefully, name a winner.

BizarreStuff's Editorial Board
Always Abreast of the News

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Show Me The Way To Go Home.....Fast

Drunken driver races around Phila. airport runways

Michael Winter, USA TODAY

The Philadelphia International Airport was shut down for a half-hour this morning after a suspected drunken driver crashed through a fence and drove up and down two runways, police say.

Kenneth Richard Mazik, 24, of Chadds Ford, Pa., (photo) was charged with DUI and reckless endangerment charges and will undergo psychiatric tests, the Associated Press reports. Ground radar detected Mazik's 1999 Jeep Cherokee about 11:15 a.m. ET, and "a phalanx of police and airport vehicles" gave chase as he raced the length of one runway and then crossed over to a parallel runway. He was stopped about five minutes later.

Police said neither runway was handling take-offs or landings, The Philadelphia Inquirer reports. The brief closure did delay about 15 to 20 aircraft, an airport spokeswoman said.