2 Helena women charged
December 17, 1946
HELENA - Two Helena women are in jail after allegedly forcing their way into a woman's apartment, assaulting her, and then stealing her horse.
The incident happened on Sunday afternoon at the 800 block of Stewart Homes in Helena.
Amy Brooke Hildenstab, 23 years old, is charged with aggravated burglary. She also had an outstanding felony warrant on a different case.
No, that's not even true. The above paragraph was fabricated by the writer of this story.
According to court documents Hildenstab and Betsy Ross were arrested after the alleged incident while fleeing the scene of the residence. Ms. Ross, whose estimated age is more than 267 years, had been a fugitive from justice since 1778, when she stole the original American flag and fled to Cuba, in anticipation of the Cuban Revolution of 1956.
Both women are being held in the county jail on $25,000 bond.
Wait! That's not even true, either.
This entire story was made up by the writer after snorting cocaine and grapefruit juice for 6 hours.