Naked thieves take burgers from SW Fla eatery

AP | Associated Press

July 24, 2014 

BONITA SPRINGS, Fla. (AP) — A southwest Florida waitress has dubbed the trio of naked hamburger thieves who broke into an eatery "dumb, dumber and dumbest."

Waitress Nancy Sansevieri was still laughing after police released surveillance video Wednesday showing the college-aged men — two naked and one clad in underwear — stealing 60 hamburgers from Doc's Beach House in Bonita Beach.

Police say the men broke in early Sunday and left a trail of red peppers on the beach.

Doc's general manager Lou Bangert told the News-Press of Fort Myers (http://newspr.es/1pevKLk) that he's never witnessed such a crime in the restaurant's 27-year history. Thieves have broken in and taken money from the cash register, but he says no one has ever slammed through a door completely naked looking for beef.

The Real Burning Man - Accept No Substitutes

Grantsville, Utah
July 19, 2014

A man died over the weekend after jumping into a huge ceremonial bonfire at a Utah event similar to the Nevada countercultural festival Burning Man, authorities said.

The incident, which police are investigating as a suicide, happened about 11 p.m. Saturday at the annual Element 11 festival in Grantsville, which is about 36 miles southwest of Salt Lake City.

Grantsville police Lt. Steve Barrett said the man had told some of the estimated 1,200 attendees in advance about his plans to run into the fire. The three-story-tall effigy, modeled on a character from the classic picture book "Where The Wild Things Are," had been burning for about 30 minutes and was fully engulfed when the man crossed a safety perimeter about 50 feet from the structure and jumped in, officials said.

"He was very fast; he was very motivated," J.P. Bernier, a spokesman for Element 11, told the Deseret News. "It wasn't an accident or any act of negligence on anybody's part. He had a very deliberate objective to get past our volunteers, past our safety perimeter."

Firefighters immediately tried to douse the flames, but were unable to save the man, Barrett said. Crews had measured the fire temperature at 2,000 degrees just prior to the apparent suicide.

Crews recovered the remains after the fire was put out, Barrett said. The man was identified as Salt Lake City resident Christopher Wallace.

Barrett said it was unknown whether drugs or alcohol were involved in the incident. Relatives of Wallace could not immediately be reached on Monday.

Snakemobile in New Mexico

After car stalls, driver finds giant snake under the hood

 

By Eric PfeifferJuly 11, 2014 1:18 PMThe Sideshow

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 A woman in Santa Fe, New Mexico, had just left her home early Thursday morning when her car suddenly stalled. A good Samaritan pulled over to help, but when he opened the hood of the car he didn’t find a dead battery. Instead, he found a very much living 9-foot, 20-pound python..

“It was looking right at me. It flicked its little tongue, and I kind of freaked out a little bit,” Jackson Ault said of the discovery.

So Ault and the woman, who wasn't identified, called the local police to help. The first officer on the scene wasn’t anymore interested in dealing with the snake (believed to be a Burmese python) than Ault.

But then police Lt. Louis Carlos showed up and the story suddenly became much less frightening and far more adorable.

“Cool, I want to hold it!” Carlos told local affiliate KOAT about his reaction to seeing the snake. “It was easy for me to just go in there, pick her up and hold onto her and let her feel the warmth of my hands and my body.”

After soothing the snake, Carlos called animal control services, which picked up the snake and brought it to the Santa Fe Animal Shelter and Humane Society.

VIDEO: Woman finds snake coiled on truck enginePlay Video

Authorities say the snake is not dangerous and most likely a pet that escaped from its owner’s home. She’s also just a baby, only halfway toward her estimated adult length. They say it almost certainly crawled on top of the car’s engine seeking warmth and shelter.

“We had a lot of fun with the stray python today — everyone wanted to confront their phobias and handle the snake,” reads a post on the Santa Fe Animal Shelter’s Facebook page.

Well, not everyone exactly.

“I’m hesitant to pop my own hood even though that sounds ridiculous,” Ault said.

Fake Deputy Takes Joy Rides in Black Tahoe

Oregon Man Impersonates Deputy While on Test Drive

JULY 8, 2014

 

PORTLAND, Ore. — An Oregon man impersonated a sheriff's deputy while taking an SUV for a test drive and pulled over a motorcyclist, authorities said.

Anthony McGuire, 39, of Salem was arrested Saturday after the motorcyclist and two employees from the car lot sensed something was off and called real deputies, Sgt. Chris Baldridge of the Marion County Sheriff's Office said Monday.

Baldridge said McGuire visited Good Fellows Auto Sales three days in a row and told workers he was a sheriff's deputy. Each day, he wanted to test drive a black Chevrolet Tahoe.

On the third day, two suspicious employees decided to join the customer for the drive.

Just down the street from the lot, McGuire suddenly lowered the window and yelled at a motorcyclist to pull over. The motorcyclist obeyed and McGuire told him he was being stopped for speeding.

Baldridge said McGuire had no badge or identification, and his manner led everyone else to conclude he might be a fake. The employees from Good Fellows Auto Sales, who could not be reached for comment, told investigators that the motorcyclist had gone around the SUV because McGuire was driving very slowly.

"They said the motorcyclist really wasn't doing anything wrong," Baldridge said. "He was acting for his own safety to get around the slow-moving vehicle."

Baldridge said McGuire confessed to impersonating a deputy and was taken to the county jail. He was charged with criminal impersonation, a misdemeanor.

Baldridge said McGuire did not explain his actions.

Investigators think McGuire might have pulled over other drivers. Anyone who might have been a victim has been asked to call the sheriff's office.

McGuire was released from county jail Monday afternoon. It was not immediately clear whether he had a lawyer, and a court date has not been set.

It was not mentioned whether or not the deputies inspected the man's underwear for suspicious signs.

Public records show he was arrested in December 2011 for unauthorized use of a vehicle. A contemporaneous article in the Albany Democrat-Herald says McGuire allegedly stole a car from the Marion County Courthouse and drove it to an Albany mall.

Spanish Couple Celebrates ATM Withdrawal

Let's hope this ATM doesn't have a withdrawal fee.
This week, onlookers snapped NSFW photos of this couple having sex next to an ATM in Oviedo, Spain, according to the Sun.

A large crowd gathered around and eventually, as Gawker explains, "the cops came before the couple did," but the pair just got a warning, no jail time.

Man Attempts Intercourse with ATM & Picnic Table

7-4-2014

(Newser) – This may be the holy grail of weird sex crime stories: Police on Friday arrested a Murfreesboro, Tenn., man who was allegedly trying to have intercourse with a bar's ATM around 9:30pm, the Daily News Journal reports. Per the police report, 49-year old Lonnie Jackson Hutton "pulled down his pants and underwear exposing his genitals" and then attempted to have his way with the Boro Bar and Grill's cash machine. He "then began to walk ‘nude’ around the bar thrusting his hips in the air.” Police were called, and Hutton was told to wait on an outdoor picnic table until the authorities showed up. Then things allegedly got weirder.

Per the report, Hutton then "again exposed himself and engaged in sexual intercourse with the wooden picnic table." He was, somehow, only charged with public intoxication, WGNS Radio reports, having been observed unsteady and with slurred speech. The Smoking Gun reports Hutton had bond set at $250 and has a July 1 court appearance scheduled; he remained behind bars as of yesterday.

You Dirty Rat!

Arizona man accused of cruelty to rats

 July 1, 2014 

BLACK CANYON CITY, Ariz. (AP) — A man is accused of animal cruelty after hundreds of domesticated rats have been found dead or dying in a north-central Arizona travel trailer.

Yavapai County Sheriff's officials say 28-year-old Jeffrey Wendorff was arrested Monday on suspicion of cruel mistreatment of animals and neglect/abandonment of animals.

County Health Services officials say they got a call about numerous rats around a trailer in Black Canyon City.

Sheriff's deputies and county animal control officers say there were between 300 to 500 rats in pens at the front and back of the trailer and the odor was overwhelming.

Inside the trailer, authorities found several aquariums with newborn and adult rats.

Wendorff told authorities he had stopped caring for the rats recently, but had been in a business partnership to breed and sell rats.

Old Time Religion

Utah man sent to jail for fight over church seats

Published June 30, 2014 03:50PM EDT

OGDEN, Utah (AP) — A 52-year-old man accused of punching another man and hitting him with his car in a dispute over pew space in Utah has been ordered to spend 30 days in jail.

The Salt Lake Tribune reports (http://bit.ly/1rD1OLL ) Wayne Dodge was sentenced Wednesday after pleading guilty to a misdemeanor assault charge. He was also ordered to complete an anger management class and pay a fine.

Weber County deputies say the fight happened last June at a Mormon meetinghouse during a crowded service that included a baby blessing and a missionary farewell.

Authorities say Dodge sat in a section that another family had saved in hopes of getting a good view of the baby blessing.

Dodge is accused of punching the man after the service, and striking him with his vehicle in the parking lot.

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