Proud to Live in a Town Called Dildo
An
hour’s drive from the town of Cum By Chance, past Spread Eagle Island,
there is a large green traffic sign that often functions as its very
own destination: “Dildo,” the sign proclaims, with an arrow pointing
straight ahead.
The
idyllic fishing village of Dildo, Newfoundland, is home to about 1,200
people, most of whom refer to themselves quite proudly as Dildoians.
Where did the town get its name? The locals, eager to dispel misguided
notions about sex toys, offer a variety of theories — a 16th-century
Spanish sailor, maybe, or an archaic term for an oblong piece of
nautical gear.
The
fishing and whaling industries have defined Dildo society for
centuries, and the town celebrates them with an annual waterfront
festival known as Dildo Days (July 27-31 this year). A flotilla of boats
circles the bay, led by a wooden statue of a certain Capt. Dildo in a
rain slicker painted bright yellow. Souvenir-hunting visitors can
purchase commemorative apparel, but be forewarned: The “I Survived Dildo
Days” T-shirts sell out fast.
A
few Dildoians have had second thoughts over the years. A local
electrician even started a public campaign in 1990 to have the town
rechristened. But he was forced to drop the effort after a wave of
harassment from residents who were offended by anyone’s taking offense
at the name.
Still,
Dildoians can count themselves lucky. At least they do not live just a
bit farther up the Newfoundland coast — on Ass Rock.
Why not? The Dildo residents should keep their name. The only change that might possibly be considered is Dildo-Deep Throat.
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