Wyoming Trucker Steals More Chicken Than He Can Run With

MARTIN KIDSTON/Missoulian September 24, 2014 Missoula health officers are working to deal with tens of thousands of pounds of rotting chickens inside a stolen semi that was abandoned at the Missoula Wye. Missoula health officer: No easy fix for semi full of rotten chicken The roughly 37,000 pounds of rotting chicken in a semi trailer at the Wye may be a little harder to get rid of than originally hoped. WYE – A big white trailer parked at a truck stop isn’t likely to turn heads, unless it’s been sitting there for days, dripping the juices of rotting chickens and attracting flies. Missoula County sheriff’s deputies discovered the 53-foot trailer at Town Pump’s Flying J truck stop Tuesday. Owned by Dixie River Freight in Nampa, Idaho, the trailer is loaded with 35,000 pounds of raw chicken valued at $80,000. And the chicken is turning rancid. On Wednesday, Paige Pavalone, public information officer for the Missoula County Sheriff’s Office, said the truck and trailer were reported stolen within the past few days by Dixie River Freight. The trucker, a Dixie River employee, had texted his company saying he’d return the chicken in exchange for ransom money. When the company declined, the suspect abandoned the trailer at the Flying J and left in the rig. The truck was reported stolen, but the trailer wasn’t entered into the national database, leaving deputies to discover it by happenstance this week. Pavalone said the local sheriff’s office is acting as the recovering agency, so does not know if the suspect had been located. Calls to the Nampa Police Department weren’t returned Wednesday. “I noticed (the trailer) sitting there when I came out Saturday,” said Crystal Friede, manager of the truck stop. “I keep an eye on how long trucks have been sitting there. You need to know if someone’s in the truck. In this case, it’s chicken.” The truck was abandoned on the asphalt pad north of Flying J. There, the chicken juice dripped from the container, staining the ground with a gooey red and translucent liquid. The flies had gathered around the juices in the 90-degree heat and a faint odor of rotting meat wafted in the air. Friede said county health officials visited the truck stop Wednesday searching for a way to discard the rotting carcasses. The trailer hasn’t been opened or moved since its discovery, and it’s unknown how the chickens are packaged. “They’re dripping all over the ground,” Friede said. “It’s turning colors out there. I didn’t know chicken was red.” Shannon Therriault, environmental health supervisor with the Missoula City-County Health Department, said deputies notified her office of the problem Tuesday. A county sanitarian inspected the trailer as the Health Department contacted Dixie River’s insurance company, along with Republic Services of Missoula, to find a solution. “We’re typically involved in truck wrecks, making sure compromised food is discarded and doesn’t enter the food chain,” Therriault said. “Obviously, this chicken isn’t going to get used at this point, but the question is, what needs to happen to dispose of it safely?” Therriault said a number of issues need to be resolved before the trailer can be moved. The insurance company must decide if the trailer can be cleaned for future food transport, or if it’s a total loss. Sanitation officials will also decide if the truck can be wrapped and moved to the dump for unloading, or if the contents need to be unloaded into a leak-proof container on site. “It would be ideal to only have to deal with it once,” Therriault said. “We don’t want rotting chicken dripping from here to who knows where. If it’s leaking a little now, if you move it, more can happen.” Health Department employees wouldn’t unload the rotting chicken. Republic Services has an expert on staff to deal with rotten poultry, Therriault said. “We’ll try to figure out, between parties, the best way to have the least amount of contact with the contents,” Therriault said. “Whether the truck is cleanable and can be sanitized – if it’s going to carry food again – is up to the insurance company.” Chickens'Cousin Reporter Martin Kidston can be reached at 523-5260, or at martin.kidston@missoulian.com.

Man Uses Fake Banana to Rob Store

September 17, 2014 PHILADELPHIA (BP) — Police in Philadelphia say a man used what appeared to be a banana in his pocket to simulate a gun while he robbed a convenience store. A man entered a corner grocery store on Tuesday. He waited in line and then used his erect penis to simulate a gun in his pants pocket which he pointed at a young, inexperienced female clerk. Police say the man demanded money and cigarettes, and made off with an undetermined amount of cash. A video shows him riding off on a bicycle, carefully avoiding mashing the banana on the bike bar.

Sounds Like a Crock But True

16 September 2014 Thailand woman dead after jumping into crocodile pit This picture taken on 15 September 2014 shows crocodiles in and outside a pond at the farm where a woman killed herself in Samut Prakarn, outside Bangkok. Ms Wanpen jumped off a walkway at Samut Prakarn Crocodile Farm and Zoo. The crocodiles ate the woman and then looked around for seconds. Police said they were told by family members that Ms Wanpen appeared depressed prior to her death. Thai tourist attractions are said to often have lax safety rules. Thai police confirmed Ms Wanpen's death on Tuesday afternoon. According to reports, she took off her shoes before jumping into the middle of a pond said to be up to 3m deep that contained hundreds of adult crocodiles. Staff tried to use long sticks to stop the crocodiles from attacking her, according to the Bangkok Post. Earlier that day, Ms Wanpen's family had tried to file a missing persons report after they discovered her disappearance, but they were reportedly told to wait for 24 hours. Her death mirrored that of a woman who killed herself in 2002 the same way at the same farm, and another suicide reportedly took place a decade before that. Crocodiles sit in and on the edge of water at the Samut Prakarn Crocodile Farm and Zoo on the outskirts of Bangkok on 12 October 2008. The farm claims it has more than 100,000 crocodiles housed in its ponds. Some of them may be seen in the attached photos. Farm owner Uthen Youngprapakorn told a local radio station that the farm had already installed additional fences and other security measures along the walkways. The farm claims on its website that it has more than 100,000 crocodiles. Pictures of the farm show wooden pagodas on stilts, connected by walkways that have chest-high railings, situated over large ponds.

Fool Survives Bear Attack

LONGVIEW, Wash. (AP) — A bow-hunter was attacked by a bear while looking for deer near the southwest Washington city of Longview. The 61-year-old Longview man, Jerry Hause, tells The Daily News (http://bit.ly/1oMQysG) he was sitting down to take a rest Monday when the bear came at him at a dead run. Hause says he didn't have time to use his bow so he scrambled up a tree. The bear followed him and bit his left leg. It finally let go when Hause kicked it in the nose with his other foot. Hause was able to walk out and call for help. He was treated for puncture wounds and claw scratches at a hospital and is recovering at home. Hause says the next time he goes bow hunting, he plans to carry a pistol. ___ Information from: The Daily News, http://www.tdn.com

Fellatio and the Second Amendment

Sep.8. 2014 Man Fires 9mm Gun At Couple Who Interrupted Public Fellatio Because of his 2nd Amendment Remedy! When the Founding Fathers sat down to write the Second Amendment, what they had in mind were situations like the following. You're a man (the Constitution is for men, because the laydeez should be at home making sammiches and looking purty). After a hard day at the office, you put on a tuxedo, head for the city's red-light district and hire a lady entrepreneur to perform oral sex on you...because the invisible hand (or mouth) of the market rules! But your well-earned, free-market, all-American relaxation is interrupted by a pair of liberal busybodies. Now, in some other God-forsaken country, your choices of action would be circumscribed. But this is America, goddamn it! So you do what any reasonable, red-blooded non-socialist American man who has a blow-job interrupted does: you pull out your 9mm and blast away. 2nd Amendment remedy, bitches! That's what the Founding Fathers were talking about!