Son Uses Dead Mom's Corpse to Withdraw Funds

1/24/15 Police in Minnesota are investigating if a man wheeled his dead mother into a bank to withdraw funds in her name just hours before he reported her deceased. Up until her death two weeks ago, Caryl Vanzo, 90, had been living with her son David at his home in Plymouth. But just seven hours before he called local police to report his mom's death, the pair took a taxi to a local branch of Wells Fargo where they withdrew $850. David Vanzo denies that his mother was already dead when he took her to the bank and claims the $850 was from a joint account. He was arrested for elderly neglect after his mother's death two weeks ago Bank employees recalled seeing Caryl's feet dragging under the wheelchair and were unsure if she was breathing. A search warrant citing the employees says she 'did not move' and employees 'couldn't tell if she was breathing.' A neighbor who saw them leave in the taxi also wondered if Caryl was dead.

Man Razes Wife's House

1-6-2015 MIDDLETOWN, N.Y. (AP) — Police say a New York man demolished his upstate home without telling his wife he planned to tear it down. The Middletown Police Department says that when officers arrived Monday at the property owned by 48-year-old James Rhein's (rynz) wife they found him using an excavator to knock down the house. Officers say he didn't remove any household items, such as furniture, food and belongings. Instead, he dumped everything into large construction debris bins. Police say Rhein didn't call local utility companies to cancel gas, electric and water services, which were cut off by crews after officers alerted them. Rhein told police he was demolishing the house because it had a bad foundation. He was charged with criminal mischief and was released on bail. Police didn't know if he had a lawyer.

Dumpster Diver

Woodstock, Calif. (AP) — A man searching in a trash bin in California was scooped up by a garbage truck and taken on a long ride. A local newspaper reported the man survived the ride in the rear of the garbage truck. He was covered in refuse and fecal matter. His name was not released. The Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department said the man got stuck in the trash truck when it made a pick-up Tuesday. The truck was headed to a landfill. Authorities said the man told police he used lumber in the truck to reach the top of the garbage pile to avoid being compacted. The man was taken to a hospital for complaints of back and neck pain and a hot bath. ___

No Slip Nip

January 16, 2015 The beautiful medical doctor daughter of Richard Branson, the Virgin Air mogul and billionaire,shames

the celebrity stars faking wardrobe malfunctions to show off one of her own comely nipples that is no fake. Hooray for Holly.

62-year-old woman finds python during nighttime potty visit news provider AP | Associated Press Published January 15, 2015 10:59AM EST S

HARON, Pa. (AP) — A 62-year-old woman says she discovered a python on her bathroom floor when she went to take an overnight potty break. Debbie LaMotte tells The (Sharon) Herald (http://bit.ly/1518hec ) that she first thought the snake was a scarf lying on the floor "because it had such a beautiful pattern." But when she prodded it with her cane, the snake's head moved. The incident happened about 4 a.m. Tuesday at her apartment in Riverview Manor in Sharon. That's about 60 miles northwest of Pittsburgh. Police came in and, LaMotte says, wound up using her "old lady grabber" — a long-handled device that helps people pick up items without bending over — to lift the snake into a bag. She believes the snake may have been a slither-away pet that squeezed under her front door.

Road Kill French Fries

SALEM, S.D. (AP) — A six-vehicle pileup on Interstate 90 in South Dakota left the road covered in 500 pounds of McDonald's french fries. The Argus Leader (http://argusne.ws/1BJrUU7 ) reports that emergency personnel in McCook County in the southeast part of the state spent Friday morning removing the fries from the road. Emergency Manager Brad Stiefvater says the vehicles collided near Salem due to zero-visibility conditions on the interstate due to snow. No one was injured. One of the vehicles involved was a semi carrying a load of McDonald's french fries. Emergency Manager Brad Stiefvater says crews had to use a plow to remove fries that spilled onto the road.

Florida Back in the Crazy News

Jan. 8, 2015 St. Petersburg, Fla.

John Nicholas Jonchuck Jr., 25, was charged with first-degree murder after he allegedly threw his 5-year-old daughter Phoebe off a bridge in St. Petersburg, Florida, early Thursday, ABC Action News reported. An officer was about to pull over Jonchuck’s vehicle for going about 100 miles an hour. He then saw Jonchuck stop the car on the Dick Misener Bridge and throw the little girl over the railing. The officer said he heard the little girl hit the freezing water after falling 62 feet. Jonchuck, who drove away, was stopped by Manatee County authorities 30 minutes later. After questioning, the St. Petersburg police arrested and charged him with first-degree murder, aggravated assault of an officer, and fleeing and eluding an officer.

Taking Tattoos to the Limit

1-2-15 Anchorage Jason Barnum, a 30 year-old nicknamed “Eyeball” because of a tattoo that filled in the white of his right eye, plead guilty on Friday to shooting an Anchorage police officer.

NY Man Has Giant Dick

Jan.4, 2015

The average adult penis, according to the Kinsey Institute, measures just under six inches when erect. Most men – about eighty-seven percent – are between five and seven inches. Dr. Alfred Kinsey found that the largest reported penis was a bit more than nine inches erect. The penis shown here is about average, say six inches. Jonah Falcon's penis is 9.5 inches flaccid, 13.5 inches erect. If you tense your forearm and wrap your hand around the middle of the muscle that is the girth of Falcon's erection. Those who have witnessed it describe it as "grotesque," "gorgeous," "hideous" and "stunning." Falcon, who stands five foot nine, thinks his penis is perfectly formed, with a fifteen-degree downward curvature at the six-inch mark and absent the blotching, lumpiness and sudden bends that mark some oversize sexorgans. A penis this size functions, physiologically, like any other, according to urologists, a claim substantiated by Falcon. But Falcon claims he has not been able to insert more than two-thirds of his oversized member into any woman with whom he has had intercourse. His balls are proportionately huge, each the size of a grade-A jumbo egg. When erect, Falcon's penis generates enough heat to warm hands – campfire style – from a distance of six inches. Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/mr-big-jonah-falcons-giant-penis-problem-20030612#ixzz3NtU8Rwxc Follow us: @rollingstone on Twitter | RollingStone on Facebook

Florida Man Has Issues With Mom

12/31/2014 Christian Gomez ended another bizarre year in Florida by d

ecapitating His Mother. US police say they have charged the man with first-degree murder after he decapitated his mother on New Year's Eve. Florida officials said that 23-year-old Christian Gomez killed his mother with an axe on Wednesday. Officers found the body of Maria Suarez-Cassagne outside the family home in Oldsmar, Pinellas County. Mr Gomez, who had been diagnosed with schizophrenia, confessed to planning his mother's murder for two days. His older brother called police for help on Wednesday evening and said that his mother had been beheaded by Mr Gomez. Christian Gomez fled the scene after the attack but was arrested after another 911 call reported a suspicious person riding a bicycle in the area. Sheriff Bob Gualtieri said on Thursday that Mr Gomez had been upset with his mother for asking him to move some boxes and because he was jealous of the attention she paid to his brother. The sheriff said that the crime was one of the worst his department had ever seen.

Dick or No Dick - You Make the Call

PROVIDENCE, R.I. 1-1-15 (AP) — It was an embarrassing Christmas for Nivea Cabrera after she was accused by her fiance's mother of letting her 5-year-old granddaughter play with a sex toy. A mortified Carbrera asked the child where she got the penis-shaped plastic cylinder. "It's from my Play-Doh," the girl replied. Hasbro, the Pawtucket-based toy company, is now doing damage control over the extruder tool in its Play-Doh Cake Mountain toy. The two-piece syringe-like tool, which includes a tube with corkscrew-type ridges around the outside and a dome-shaped top with a hole at the tip, can be used to squeeze Play-Doh to look like decorative cake frosting. Complaints have been surfacing since at least November, when Tulsa, Oklahoma, TV station KTUL showed the tool to parents and asked them what they thought. The station blurred the image of the tool during the piece, saying it was due to parents' reactions. One woman told the station it was "a pretty phallic cake-decorating piece." After Christmas, comments started pouring in to Play-Doh's Facebook page, including from Cabrera, of Lancaster, Pennsylvania. She said Hasbro called her after she posted a photo of the tool and asked about the shape on Christmas Day. She said the company offered to send her a replacement tool in a different shape, which she has not received. Erin Rivers, a mother of two from Melbourne, Florida, thought it was hilarious when she helped her 6-year-old daughter open the box. "I pulled out this extruder tool, and I just started cracking up at it, I couldn't help it. Then I immediately put the Play-Doh in it and took a picture of," she said. Then, she posted it on Facebook. "My friends have just as dirty minds as I do," she said. "It was hysterical to me. And then I gave it my daughter to play with." She said her daughter and 4-year-old son don't notice anything strange about the toy. Hasbro Inc. has received thousands of comments on the Play-Doh Facebook page pointing out the obvious. "We are in the process of updating all future Play-Doh products with a different tool," it said in a statement posted on the page Tuesday. It also offered to replace the tool for anyone who has complaints. Rivers, who works in a pediatric dental office, says she's not upset at all. But she is flabbergasted that the toy slipped past so many layers of people at Hasbro. "They have to have someone who creates it, someone who makes the plastic mold, someone who plays with it," she said. "I can't imagine that as many people that probably saw the toy, not one person said, 'Does anyone else think this looks like a penis?'"