BIG SURPRISE - AMAZING REVELATION

Ex-N.J. rep pleads not guilty in child porn case
Former assemblyman once championed bills aimed at fighting child porn



Tues., March. 10, 2009
TRENTON, N.J. - A former New Jersey lawmaker who once championed bills aimed at fighting child pornography pleaded not guilty Tuesday to child porn and official misconduct charges in his first public appearance since the state began investigating him in July.

A judge determined Neil Cohen is not a flight risk, so he can remain free without bail — with restrictions. He's not allowed to "loiter or linger" around playgrounds or schools, have unsupervised contact with children under 16 or use the Internet for purposes other than business.

A state prosecutor said Cohen told investigators he had viewed child porn, but he rejected a plea bargain offer.

Cohen, a 58-year-old Democrat from Roselle, sat silently through his arraignment in Superior Court and allowed his lawyer to enter the not guilty plea for him.

Cohen, who was elected to the Assembly nine times, once sponsored a law creating a hot line to report child pornography and other Internet crimes.

He resigned from office in July and checked into a psychiatric hospital after word got out that he was under investigation for child pornography. Other lawmakers tipped off officials about images that allegedly show underage girls engaged in sexual acts.

Deputy Attorney General Anthony Picione said Cohen admitted the images were his and said he had viewed them on the computer in his law office in Montclair and in his district legislative office in Union Township. Computers from both locations were seized.

His lawyer, Mark Tuohey, said Cohen is now receiving mental health treatment "probably for a lifetime."

Indicted on three counts
A grand jury indicted him in December on two counts of child pornography and one count of official misconduct. If convicted on all charges, Cohen could receive up to 30 years in prison.

Picione told Judge Gerald Council on Tuesday that the state had offered Cohen a plea deal that would have called for five to seven years in prison, forfeiture of his state pension and registering as a sex offender.

Tuohey said he rejected that offer "for obvious reasons." He would not elaborate after the hearing.

Tuohey told the judge to expect a motion accusing the state of "overcharging" crimes in what is really a simple possession case.

Play It Again Sam - Man Thinks With Wrong End of Anatomy

And I'll be crying...crying...crying...over you two....







'Massage therapists' remove man's pants, take cash, take off.

Published - Mar 10 2009 06:37AM EST

Police said a man was robbed of his casino winnings by two women he met at the casino and invited home with him. The man won about $2,000 at the Creek Nation Casino and then invited the women to gamble with him and go home with him for drinks about 4 a.m. Monday, police said. The man told the officer the women said they were massage therapists and removed his pants then left with his cash.

About 4:45 a.m. the officer was at a nearby convenience store and recognized the two suspects from the victim's description.

Police arrested two 21-year-old women after finding them carrying a large amount of cash then finding marijuana in their car.

One More in a Long List of Women You Want to Avoid

(Not the real girlfriend but probably worth avoiding, too)


Authorities say the girlfriend of Tampa Bay Buccaneers linebacker Geno Hayes stabbed him in the head and in the neck.

A Hillsborough County Sheriff's spokeswoman says Hayes was taken to a hospital by a friend Saturday. The 21-year-old former Florida State player was treated and later released.

Deputies arrested 19-year-old Shevelle Bagley on Saturday afternoon. The sheriff's spokeswoman says Hayes and Bagley got into an argument, which led to Bagley grabbing a pair of scissors and stabbing Hayes in the head. He managed to get the scissors away from her, but authorities say she then grabbed a knife and stabbed him in the neck.

Bagley was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. Jail records show she was released Sunday on $25,000 bail.

Grinning Genghis Faces Trial, Possible Deportation

Tokyo March 9, 2009

A Japanese career criminal, commonly known as Grinning Genghis (editor's note: we are aware of the mis-identification of this suspect, who is Japanese, with Genghis Khan, who was Mongolian, but we are not responsible for the nick name.) was arrested on charges of impersonating Genghis Khan, a well-known Mongolian leader responsible for dreadful amounts of slaughter, pillage, and general mayhem in Eastern Europe during the middle ages, or a long time ago, whichever came first.

Genghis, as he was called by relatives and friends, committed, or caused to be committed by his men, atrocious crimes, including but not limited to knocking over the equivalent of penny gum-ball machines and snatching the head scarves of Muslim women. The latter crime was considered so heinous that any Mongol caught swiping a scarf from a Muslim girl could be deprived of his daily ration of 3 liters of suke, the Mongol equivalent of Japanese sake, for as long as two days. Justice, under the Turkish regime was swift and severe.

Grinning Genghis became a copycat criminal, patterning his life after that of the actual Genghis, except specializing in raiding Sushi bars in Japanese cities, where he would force all patrons to eat weenies and beans and then spend the night together in a crowded, locked room with limited ventilation.

Many of his victims suffered acute and long-term mental distress and others became addicted to the odor of passed gas. If convicted, Grinning Genghis faces possible life imprisonment with gangs of homocidal ninjas, or deportation to Northern Michigan. Genghis' attorney was reportedly negotiating a plea bargain that would send Genghis to Southern France instead of Northern Michigan, because he had demonstrated remorse by delivering hundreds of head scarfs to the Turkish attache in Tokyo for distribution to young Muslim women without scarves and because of the advanced reconstructive dental care available there.

Silly Walk # 12

(Click on photo to enlarge.)


London, March 9

British Ministry of Silly Walks Re-opens.

The British government announced today that due to popular demand, principally from Somalia, Madagascar, Texas and a smattering of unassimilated Brits, currently stranded in Tierra del Fuego, Argentina, and Oakland, California, the re-opening of the former Ministry of Silly Walks will take place right now, as you are reading this. A fixture of the British government for more than seven months about two decades ago, it was closed when it was discovered that several members of the staff were feigning silly walks to retain their own positions. The current government, which is decidedly sillier than its predecessor, decided that a venerable British institution, which stood the test of time for 20 years should not be lost to history and English tradition. More careful investigations, including urine samples and the chemical analysis of toenail scrapings, are being instituted to weed out fraudulent silly walkers.

The first silly walk of the new era (shown above) was taken from the archives of the original Ministry and was originally released as Silly Walk No.12. One of the most popular silly walks of all time, it was thought to be appropriate for the new opening of the Ministry. Funding for the Ministry was made possible by the British withdrawal from the Iraq War, which itself was a silly war, although quite serious for about 100,000 dead Iraqi citizens and a number of dead British, American and other soldiers forced to go there as members of the ill-fated Coalition of the Not- So-Willing.

Lord Fawlty Halifax, the newly appointed Minister of Silly Walks, said in a press release that the Ministry encouraged the submission of silly walks, and hopes to release one new silly walk a month. If you or a relative or friend walk sillyly, you may contact the Ministry's offices by calling 1928374655 and asking for Silly Syble.

LSMFT

Pooch Frozen to Pond

March 7, 2009 There was a rescue involving a St. Bernard in Billings, Mont., but this time it was the humans who saved the day.

A 16-month-old St. Bernard named Duke apparently fell through the ice on a golf-course pond after escaping from his yard. He was able to pull himself out but ended up getting frozen to the ice.

A maintenance worker saw the dog and got help. Two firefighters in dry suits pushed an ice rescue sled over about 10 feet of hip-deep water and 10 feet of ice to reach the shivering, 118-pound dog.

The firefighters broke the ice around Duke's tail with a mallet before hauling the dog and a chunk of ice back to shore.

Duke was feeling better after being de-iced and warmed up under a blow dryer at a veterinary clinic.

Mule or Cow?

The Stash>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>




March 6,2009

Cops find bags of heroin in pregnant woman's pants

Police arrested a 31-year-old pregnant woman who had 73 bags of heroin stashed in the waistband of her pants. Police said the woman was a passenger in a car stopped by officers on Wednesday because they believed it had illegal window tint.

In the car, police said officers found six bags of heroin and a loaded gun and a stun gun in the trunk. When officers took her to police headquarters, they found 73 bags of heroin in her waistband.

The woman told officers she had no idea how the bags of heroin had gotten into her pants.

The driver, a 27-year-old man, was charged with drug and weapons offenses. He told police he didn't know the woman was a mule but the gun belonged to her. He said the stun gun found in the trunk was used on his uncle's farm to control a large, dangerous bull.

Both are being held on bail.