(Click on photo to enlarge.)
London, March 9
British Ministry of Silly Walks Re-opens.
The British government announced today that due to popular demand, principally from Somalia, Madagascar, Texas and a smattering of unassimilated Brits, currently stranded in Tierra del Fuego, Argentina, and Oakland, California, the re-opening of the former Ministry of Silly Walks will take place right now, as you are reading this. A fixture of the British government for more than seven months about two decades ago, it was closed when it was discovered that several members of the staff were feigning silly walks to retain their own positions. The current government, which is decidedly sillier than its predecessor, decided that a venerable British institution, which stood the test of time for 20 years should not be lost to history and English tradition. More careful investigations, including urine samples and the chemical analysis of toenail scrapings, are being instituted to weed out fraudulent silly walkers.
The first silly walk of the new era (shown above) was taken from the archives of the original Ministry and was originally released as Silly Walk No.12. One of the most popular silly walks of all time, it was thought to be appropriate for the new opening of the Ministry. Funding for the Ministry was made possible by the British withdrawal from the Iraq War, which itself was a silly war, although quite serious for about 100,000 dead Iraqi citizens and a number of dead British, American and other soldiers forced to go there as members of the ill-fated Coalition of the Not- So-Willing.
Lord Fawlty Halifax, the newly appointed Minister of Silly Walks, said in a press release that the Ministry encouraged the submission of silly walks, and hopes to release one new silly walk a month. If you or a relative or friend walk sillyly, you may contact the Ministry's offices by calling 1928374655 and asking for Silly Syble.