Thursday, March 12, 2009

Man Arrested in Texas and Charged With Child Endangerment

(The motorsiclist and the toddler)

Texas, March 20, 2009

A unknown Texas man was arrested for riding a motorsickle at high speeds through the Texas hill country with an unrestrained toddler hanging on desperately from his waist. Texas State Troopers were unable to apprehend the "Mad Motorsiclist," as he has been dubbed by the news media, despite shooting out his rear tire and blockading several roads. "It's like they disappeared into thin air," said one deputy, speaking on condition of misogyny because he was not authorized to speak to anyone, including his family, by a Travis County Domestic Court.

A spokeswoman for the Texas Department of Public Mayhem, speaking only because forced to by her boss, said an order had been issued to use deadly force on the sickle jockey and anyone in his company, including the toddler, who also was an accessory to the murder of several hundred Texas bluebonnets, an endangered species. It was speculated the man would make a run for On the Border, one of his favorite restaurants, because he was displaying a small flag advertising the eatery on his motorsickle, which could also have been a Mexican flag, so maybe that's wrong.

"We'll git 'em," said a crusty old Texas Ranger from the corner of his mouth, who was not authorized to speak because his mouth is currently wired shut due to a broken jaw sustained in a high speed motorsickle chase.

P.S. This activity is not expected to occur until March 20, 2009. If there are any changes we will notify all interested parties via this or a supplementary post.

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