New Jersey Judge Explores the Meaning of Bestiality and New Jersey Criminal Law

Judge of the Day: James Morley


2009-09-25

Here's an interesting question. How do we know that animals involved in bestiality don't actually like it? This question was recently on the mind of one New Jersey jurist.

From the Philadelphia Daily News:

During a bizarre hearing [in Burlington County, NJ], a Superior Court judge dismissed animal-cruelty charges against a Moorestown police officer accused of sticking his penis into the mouths of five calves in rural Southampton in 2006, claiming a grand jury couldn't infer whether the cows had been "tormented" or "puzzled" by the situation or even irritated that they'd been duped out of a meal.

"If the cow had the cognitive ability to form thought and speak, would it say, 'Where's the milk? I'm not getting any milk,' " Judge James J. Morley asked.

Children, Morley said, seemed "comforted" when given pacifiers, but there's no way to know what bovine minds thought of Robert Melia Jr. substituting his member for a cow's teat.

"They [children] enjoy the act of suckling," the judge said. "Cows may be of a different disposition."

In its weirdness, this is all very Ally McBeal-ish (although too explicit for that show).

So how did the prosecutor feel about all this?

Burlington County Assistant County Prosecutor Kevin Morgan was certainly irritated by the ruling, claiming the grand jury didn't see the videos of the alleged incident, including one in which one hungry calf allegedly head-butts Melia in the stomach.

Should the alleged head-butt be construed as an expression of dissent? Or perhaps the calf just wished that Melia were more well-endowed?

"I think any reasonable juror could infer that a man's penis in the mouth of a calf is torment," Morgan argued. "It's a crime against nature."

Ah, but what is a crime against nature? Many sexual acts once viewed as "crimes against nature" are now perfectly acceptable. If at least some human beings enjoy administering fellatio, how can we say -- as a per se rule -- that all cows do not?

Here's the legal reason this matters:

Although a bill was introduced in 2005 to ban bestiality, New Jersey still has no explicit ban on the sexual penetration of animals, which is why the Burlington County Prosecutor's Office charged Melia with animal cruelty.
We're with Judge Morley on this. If New Jersey had a law on the books criminalizing sexual penetration of animals, then perhaps Melia would be guilty. But in this case, where Melia is charged only with animal cruelty, shouldn't the rule of lenity be applied? The ambiguous statute should be interpreted in favor of the defendant.
Morley said it was questionable whether Melia's alleged crimes against cows, although "disgusting," fit the definitions in the animal-cruelty statute.
"I'm not saying it's OK," Morley said. "This is a legal question for me. It's not a questions of morals. It's not a question of hygiene. It's not a question of how people should conduct themselves."

Indeed. Mouth-f**king a cow may not make you a model citizen. But should you go to jail for it -- especially if you live in a state that does not explicitly prohibit sexual penetration of animals?

Morgan, the prosecutor, said in court that the owner of the cows was "very upset" by the incident.

Trespass to chattels? Maybe. Animal cruelty? Surely not.
"If the cock doesn't fit, you must acquit."

Despite Bold Quest For Freedom - Bull Executed

"Herman," a doomed 1400-pound bull drags officers down New Jersey street in a brave attempt to escape death row

Sep 28 2009


Police say a 1,400-pound bull escaped from a northern New Jersey slaughterhouse, dragged officers with a lasso down a street and ran 10 blocks before being captured and sedated. Chief John DeCando, spokesman for Paterson Police's animal control division, said the bull was being unloaded at ENA Meat Packing Inc. when it broke loose just before 8:30 a.m. Monday.

Police tried to corral the bull by lassoing a rope around the animal's neck, but it dragged officers down the street instead.

DeCando said traffic was light during the bull run. He said the area where the officers were dragged was not residential or near a school.

Officers finally corralled the bull and DeCando was able to sedate it.

No injuries to the bull's captors were reported. The bull was returned to the slaughterhouse where it was willfully injured until dead.

Bulls really get the worst of these deals!

Beer Swilling Muslim Woman To Be Caned

Beer-drinking Muslim woman's caning to proceed

Sep 28 2009


A judge in Malaysia has upheld a court verdict to cane a Muslim woman for drinking beer, news reports said Monday, re-igniting a controversy over Islamic justice in this moderate Muslim-majority country.

The Star newspaper's Web site and national news agency Bernama said the chief Shariah judge of Pahang state ruled that a Shariah High Court's verdict against Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarno, 32, was correct and should stay.

If the punishment is carried out, Kartika would become the first Muslim woman to be caned in Malaysia, where about 60 percent of the 28 million people are Muslims. No date was immediately set for the caning.

Kartika, a former model and nurse, was sentenced in July to six strokes of the cane and a fine of 5,000 ringgit ($1,400) for drinking beer in December 2007 at a beach resort in violation of Islamic laws. Islam forbids Muslims from drinking alcohol.

Kartika, who pleaded guilty, refused to appeal her sentence and was on the verge of being caned on Aug. 24. But the punishment was halted at the last minute following an uproar in the media and among rights activists.

Instead, the government asked the Shariah High Court Appeals Panel in Kuantan, the capital of Pahang, to review the verdict.

"I found that the High Court Judge had acted accordingly within his jurisdiction as provided" by relevant laws of Pahang state, Pahang Shariah Chief Judge Abdul Hamid Abdul Rahman told The Star.

"As such, the decision stays," he was quoted as saying.

He said it was now up to the Pahang Islamic Religious Department to implement the punishment. The department's officials, who are like morality police, routinely conduct raids to catch people violating Islamic laws but most perpetrators are usually let off with fines.

Kartika has said previously she is ready to be caned.

The caning would be done with a thin stick on the back and would be largely symbolic rather than aimed at causing pain, unlike the caning of rapists and drug smugglers with a thick rattan stick on bare buttocks that causes the skin to break and leaves scars.

But activists say even a gentle caning raises the broader question of whether such Islamic laws should intrude into Muslims' private lives and whether radical Islam is creeping into the judiciary.

Malaysia follows a dual-track justice system. Shariah laws apply to Muslims in all personal matters. Non-Muslims _ Chinese, Indians, Sikhs and other minorities _ are covered by civil laws, and are free to drink.

Only three states in Malaysia _ Pahang, Perlis and Kelantan _ impose caning for drinking alcohol. In the other 10 states it is punishable by a fine.

Holy Roller - Getting High On The Bible

Teen uses Bible page to roll marijuana cigarette

September 21, 2009

A 16-year-old boy who used a page from his Bible as a rolling paper for a marijuana joint was charged with drug possession, an Erie County sheriff deputy's report said.

The boy's mother called deputies at about 11:35 p.m. Tuesday, asking them to meet her at a car wash on Ohio 101.

The mother said she saw her son smoking in his bedroom and found a small bag of marijuana in his night stand, the report said.

The mother told deputies her son "was smoking a marijuana cigarette using a page from his Bible, taken from Exodus." the report said. A state psychologist said the boy may have chosen Exodus because he was thinking about running away from home.

The sheriff told the psychologist to shut up and go back to her cubicle.

Deputies confiscated the bag of marijuana but curiously left the Bible behind.

S.F. with ad-libbing by Jbo

Ugandan Gorillas Using the Internet - Fast Typists Say Professional Stenographers

Endangered Ugandan gorillas join Facebook, MySpace

Sep 26 2009 09:53AM CDT

By GODFREY OLUKYA - Associated Press Writer

(AP Photo/Stephen Wandera)

Film actress Kristy Wu, posed for a photograph with an artificial gorilla named Bart at the launch of the Friend a Gorilla campaign in Uganda's capital city Kampala on Saturday, Sept. 26, 2009. Also shown is the photo of a live female gorilla named Desiree, taken in the wild. She's looking at a photo of Sinbad, a male gorilla looking for a mate.

He's hairy, his table manners are atrocious, he has severe body odor, but he wants to be Desiree's and your friend on Facebook.

No, it's not a singles dating site, it's Muhozi, an endangered Ugandan mountain gorilla, who's appearing online as part of a fundraising program the Ugandan Wildlife Authority launched Saturday to help save the species.

Around 340 mountain gorillas _ nearly half of the 740 remaining worldwide _ live in Uganda's lush Bwindi Impenetrable Forest National Park and 40 more live in another Ugandan reserve. The rest live in the Virunga mountain range, which stretches from Uganda into Rwanda and the war-ravaged Congo.

Despite their size _ a male silverback can reach over 7 feet (2.1 meters) and weigh 400 pounds (180 kilogram) _ the gorillas are threatened by poachers who kill them for meat, farmers and charcoal-burners who encroach on their habitat, and the indiscriminate bullets of rebels on the run. They must be protected by rangers with automatic rifles. "Bush meat," the meat of wild animals, is favored by many Africans and the government is trying to dissuade its people from killing and eating wild animals.

The Wildlife Authority is hoping that gorilla fans will befriend a gorilla on Facebook or MySpace or follow it on Twitter in return for a minimum donation of $1. The money will be used to hire extra rangers to protect the gorillas and safeguard their habitat.

In return, gorilla friends will receive regular updates about their chosen gorilla, have their gorilla's picture on their home page and receive gorilla trivia _ like the fact that the name is derived from a Greek word, gorillai, meaning "hairy women."

Wildlife Authority spokeswoman Lilian Nsubuga said she hoped the program would give people who could not afford to travel to Uganda themselves the chance to feel closer to the animals.

About 10,500 tourists visit Uganda each year to see the gorillas. An entry permit for the park is $500 per person. Last year Uganda earned $600 million through tourism and more than 90 percent of the money was from gorilla tourism.

"Why visit Rome to see ruins or Egypt to see mere piles of stones called pyramids, yet you can go to Bwindi and see your next of kin?" asked Uganda's Minister of Tourism, Kahinda Otafiire, pointing out that gorillas share more than 95 percent of their DNA with humans.

Thomas Slater, the director of the gorilla Web site, said Internet users would be able to befriend any individual from one of seven groups habituated to human contacts.

"You will be able to learn more concerning the particular gorilla, its character, family and relationships," he said.

On the Net: Go there. Get your own gorilla for a friend.

http://www.friendagorilla.org

Hick Hatred of Federal Govt. Taken Out On Census Worker

Witness: Census worker's hanging body naked, bound

Sep 25 2009

ROGER ALFORD and JEFFREY McMURRAY - Associated Press Writer

(AP Photo/The Times-Tribune)

In this undated 2008 photo, Bill Sparkman speaks to a 7th grade class during a lesson about sound waves. A law enforcement official says Sparkman, a U.S. Census worker found hanged from a tree near a Kentucky cemetery, had the word ''fed'' scrawled on his chest, and the FBI is investigating whether he was a victim of anti-government sentiment.

A part-time census worker found hanging in a rural Kentucky cemetery was naked, gagged and had his hands and feet bound with duct tape, said an Ohio man who discovered the body two weeks ago.

Authorities have also said the word "fed" was scrawled with a felt-tip pen across 51-year-old Bill Sparkman's chest, but they have released very few details about the case and said investigators have not determined if it was a homicide, suicide or an accident. (The investigators were fired for general incompetence immediately on release of their preliminary report.)

Federal, state and local authorities have refused to say if Sparkman was at work going to door-to-door for census surveys in the time before his death, but his Census identification tag was found taped to his body.

Jerry Weaver of Fairfield, Ohio, told The Associated Press on Friday that he was among a group of relatives who made the gruesome discovery on Sept. 12.

"The only thing he had on was a pair of socks," Weaver said. "And they had duct-taped his hands, his wrists. He had duct tape over his eyes, and they gagged him with a red rag or something."

"And they even had duct tape around his neck. And they had like his identification tag on his neck. They had it duct-taped to the side of his neck, on the right side, almost on his right shoulder."

Two people briefed on the investigation said various details of Weaver's account matched the details of the crime scene, though both people said they were not informed who found the body. The two spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the case. When their names were revealed to authorities by reporters they were terminated immediately for general incompetence.

Weaver said he couldn't tell if the tag was a Census Bureau ID because he didn't get close enough to read it. But both of the people briefed on the investigation confirmed Sparkman's Census ID was found taped to his head and shoulder area before they were fired.

Weaver said he could see something written on Sparkman's chest but he did not go close enough to read it.

While authorities confirmed for the first time Thursday that asphyxiation was the cause of death, even the details behind that were murky. According to a Kentucky State Police statement, the body was hanging from a tree with a noose around the neck, yet it was in contact with the ground.

Weaver, who works for a family topsoil business in Fairfield, said he was in town for a family reunion and was visiting family grave sites at the cemetery when he and family members including his wife and daughter came across the body.

The scene left Weaver without a doubt how Sparkman died.

"He was murdered," he said. "There's no doubt."

Weaver said the body was about 50 yards from a 2003 Chevrolet S-10 pickup truck. He said Sparkman's clothes were in the bed of the truck.

"His tailgate was down," Weaver said. "I thought he could have been killed somewhere else and brought there and hanged up for display, or they actually could have killed him right there. It was a bad, bad scene."

"It took me three or four good nights to sleep. My 20-year-old daughter ended up sleeping on the floor in our bedroom." he said.

Clay County Sheriff Kevin Johnson declined to comment on the investigation because the department is only playing a supporting role but said patrols have increased in the Daniel Boone National Forest since the body was found.

The Census Bureau has suspended door-to-door interviews in the rural county pending the investigation.

Trooper Trosper, in a brilliant deduction, said it was clear this wasn't a natural death but said all other possibilities were being considered.

"This case has many facets," he said. "To investigate cases, you have to rule out different scenarios. We are not able to rule out many scenarios at this time, and that's what makes this a difficult case." Trosper was fired immediately for general incompetence after making this statement.

Although anti-government sentiment was one possibility in the death, some in law enforcement also cited the prevalence of drug activity in the area _ including meth labs and marijuana fields _ although they had no reason to believe there was a link to Sparkman's death.

"Now they're taking their meth lab operations into the rural, secluded areas," Clay County Sheriff Kevin Johnson said. "We've had complaints in the area, but not that particular location."

Associated Press Writer Devlin Barrett in Washington contributed to this report. Alford reported from Frankfort.

(This version CORRECTS that Weaver did see writing on the body's chest, but he could not read it.)

New Fab Diet Guaranteed to Reduce Your Weight to Zero

All new total weight loss program unveiled.

Tuscaloosa, Alabama
Sep 23, 2009

If you've ever wished you could just lose all your weight and not have to worry about it ever again, this may be the diet plan for you. It isn't easy and it will cost a bundle but you will never have to look a scale in the face again.

Throw away all those calorie counters and tasteless substitutes for food. All you will need to do to lose all that excess weight, and more, is dig to the center of the earth!

That's right, with a good quality shovel, a rugged pick axe, a portable jackhammer, a box of dynamite sticks and detonators, a heavy duty insulated fire suit, and a bag of peanut butter sandwiches with a thermos of Kool-Aid, and you'll be on your way to a new, slimmer, healthier you. Here is the detailed plan.

First, you’ll dig 18 miles (30km) through earth’s crust (see illustration at the top of the globe above), then 1800 miles (3000km) through the rock mantle, (this is where the jackhammer and dynamite are really useful), then through 1200 miles (2000km) of molten iron and nickel,(thank your lucky stars for those fireproof coveralls), then 600 miles (1000km) through solid rock (the jackhammer and dynamite again) to reach the center, which is sort of like a giant sauna at temperatures of 8132°F (4500°C). By the time you reach your destination you already will have lost several pounds. But the real bonus is that at the center of the earth the forces of gravity will be equal on all sides of you, canceling each other, meaning you’ll weigh nothing. Good luck.