Friday, December 17, 2010

One More Reason Not To Marry A Lawyer


Lawyer Sues Ex-Fiancé for Jilting Her Days Before an Exhorbitant, Planned Wedding - Not Expected to Prevail

Dec 13, 2010

An Illinois lawyer is suing her former fiance for dumping her only a few days before the planned nuptials.

The lawyer, shown here, says he broke a promise and caused her emotional distress. Duh!

Substitute photo. Actual lawyer declined to provide photo.

The "It's all about me." lawyer spent more than $100,000 on wedding preparations, including breast augmentation surgery, and claims the ex-fiance should reimburse her. She also says the ex-fiance engaged in lewd publc behavior at his bachelor party, including accepting lap dances. She said she spent thousands getting big boobs for him and that should have been enough. Now she has no use for the 52 double E cups.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Brooklyn Thug Tries Novel Online Customer Dis-satisfaction Approach To Boost Ranking


Vitaly Borker, Notorious Online Bully

Dec. 15, 2010

Meet Vitaly Borker - American Businessman and General Thug



The Brooklyn man was arrested by federal investigators last week on a variety of felony charges related to his operation of a web site selling eyeglasses. Borker, 34, hid his face during a perp walk, but here's a photo obtained from our secret source.

The ersatz businessman attracted national attention when he openly bragged to The New York Times that he deliberately abused and bullied customers of decormyeyes.com in order to get a higher Google search result ranking.

Borker faces decades in prison if convicted of cyberstalking, making interstate threats, mail fraud, and wire fraud. He is being held without bail at the federal detention center in Brooklyn.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Why Every Home Or Apartment Should Have A Lawn Sprinkler System



Shooting of man holding water nozzle angers family

Dec 14 2010

This image released by the Long Beach Police shows the black pistol grip water hose nozzle held by Doug Zerby (below, with sister) before being shot to death by Long Beach cops.


LONG BEACH, Calif. -- Angry relatives of a man shot to death by police who mistook a pistol-grip water nozzle he held for a gun are lashing out at officers, saying they made no effort to contact him before opening fire.

However, police officials say Douglas Zerby's behavior prompted the trigger happy officers' response. An unauthorized spokeswoman for the cops told unauthorized reporters that most cops never have the opportunity to shoot a suspect, much less kill one. All those hours spent at the firing range and then no one to shoot? It's got to be frustrating.

"As the subject was in a seated position, he used a two-handed pistol-grip hold on an object with his arms fully extended," Long Beach Police Chief Jim McDonnell said in police speak. "Somebody that is impaired and waving what appears to witnesses and police to be a handgun. That's what the officers were faced with." (These officers were so impaired they were unable to distinguish between a water nozzle connected to a water hose and a handgun.) Sheesh!

Zerby pointed it at one of the officers and two officers fired their weapons, a handgun and a shotgun. A total of eight shots were fired -- two from shot gun and six from a handgun, McDonnell said. The officers were making sure the alleged gunman was DRT. (Dead Right There)

Zerby's sister, Eden Marie Biele, said officers made no attempt to talk to her 35-year-old brother or get his attention before shooting him to death.

"They didn't say 'Put your hands up' or 'Freeze' or anything," Biele told The Associated Press Monday. "He was killed in cold blood."

Biele was among the family members whose sobs were heard among McDonnell's explanations of the events leading to Zerby's death on Sunday.

"This is a very unfortunate set of circumstances and leaves the family to deal with it here," McDonnell said, offering his condolences to the Zerby family.

The Long Beach officers were dispatched to an apartment building after two people reported a man with a gun sitting on a backyard porch landing, McDonnell said. In an excerpt of a 911 call played for reporters, a male caller said the man appeared to have a "tiny six-shooter."

McDonnell said the officers took positions to observe Zerby, who appeared intoxicated, and believed he had a gun as described by the callers, but focused on setting up containment of the area rather than contacting him. The officers were trying to protect all the citizens of Long Beach, according to a recorded message played over police speakers.

As officers awaited requested backup units, the man pointed the object at apartments and played with it, causing it to make sounds similar to those of a gun being handled, he said. Everyone knows a water hose sounds like a gun being handled.

Both officers were placed on administrative leave, a standard move after a police shooting. One said he was taking this opportunity to take his kids to Disneyland.

Biele said the family is considering legal action over the shooting.

She said Zerby, who had an 8-year-old son, had been drinking and rather than drive home, went to his friend's place and was waiting on the stairs for him to come home.

"He never knew there was a problem. Police snuck down the corridor and shot him," Biele said. "He was a drunk sitting on a stoop fumbling with a hose nozzle."

Woman Prepares To Get Stoned, But Not in A Good Way.


Islamabad, Afganistan

Dec. 14, 2010

Celebrities including Robert Redford, Robert De Niro, and Sting have called on Iran to release a woman sentenced to death by stoning for adultery. In an open letter published Monday, more than 80 performers and academics said that "Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani has suffered enough."

Ashtiani, 43, was convicted in 2006 of having an "illicit relationship" with two men after the murder of her husband the year before and was sentenced at that time to 99 lashes. She was later convicted of adultery and sentenced to be stoned.

It was not made clear whether the adultery occurred with each man individually or whether it was part of a threesome.

In separate trials each of the men was sentenced to read selected passages from the Koran for 10 days. The mens' attorneys have said they plan to appeal the sentences as being excessively harsh under sharia law. "Three to five days of Koran reading is the usual punishment for male adultery. "The court is trying to make an example of these men because of the publicity surrounding the case," according to one of the lawyers, who filed a petition with the court to overturn the verdict and sentence for his client.

The photo is of Ms. Ashtiani, during a fitting for her stoning, whenever it is scheduled.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Oklahoma Woman Baffles TSA Screeners

After failing TSA screening, flier in wheelchair (and her underwear) leaves Okla.


Dec. 13, 2010

Yesterday, wearing only a black bra and bikini style panties, a 52-year-old woman who uses a wheelchair flew out of Oklahoma City. The previous day she had failed the airport security screening.

Transportation Security Administration screeners told Phoenix-bound Tammy Banovac her wheelchair, luggage and clothes showed traces of nitrates, which can be used in bombs, The Oklahoman reported. After more than an hour of detailed hand searches and interrogation, no bombs or other explosives were found and Ms. Banovac was told to come back to Will Rogers World Airport the next day.

This morning, Banovac returned — wearing the same minimalist travel ensemble. She passed TSA's screening and off she and her dog went. (She dressed after being screened.)

Banovac told the paper that because of her wheelchair she is typically hand-searched. But the TSA's new, enhanced pat-downs have left her feeling violated. She said an "unpleasant" TSA experience two weeks ago prompted her revealing approach to pat-downs.

"If it happened anywhere else, it would have been sexual assault," she said.

Naturally, someone captured her 7 a.m. departure and posted it on YouTube. BizarreStuff brings it to you here, in the comfort of your own underwear.


Sunday, December 12, 2010

Self Taught Latino Dog Dances to Latin Rythyms



Dec. 12, 2010

In a brazen attempt to get more attention and score more doggy treats than his friends, this Mexican mutt got someone to teach him how to dance to salsa music and now is trying to land an appearance on Leno or Letterman, or even Conan O'Brien. Watch the video carefully and you will notice several missed steps and off beat moves. The canine is a con artist.

Uptight Las Vegas County Commissioners Kill Spirt of Naked Christmas



LAS VEGAS, Nov. 11, 2009 and Dec. 11, 2010

A Plexiglas truck giving new meaning to the Las Vegas "Strip" drew the eyes of passersby and the ire of county commissioners.

The "stripper-mobile," which features scantily-clad women performing pole dances in the back of the Plexiglas truck while it drives up and down the Las Vegas Strip, was slated to be a topic of discussion at next Tuesday's (2009) Las Vegas County Commission meeting, the Las Vegas Sun reported Wednesday.

Larry Beard, marketing director for Deja Vu Showgirls, which has run the truck up and down the Strip during the wee hours for the past 11 days, said it had already doubled business at his clubs.

"It's just a great idea that really works," Beard said.

However, critics have raised questions about the decency of the marketing technique as well as the safety of having such an eye-catching spectacle in the middle of traffic.

"You could have 10 of them out there pretty quick and a million people just staring," Commissioner S.Anonymous said in a gross exaggeration. The Neanderthal Commish argued that the county had to get a handle on this before too many adult people are allowed to actually see half naked women. "That's somewhere in the Constitution I'm pretty sure," said the Commish.

This nation was founded on the bedrock principle of no nakedness. The Commish said he had been married 24 years and had never seen his wife naked. "She's the mother of my children, for Chisake, and that would ruin her whole image for me if I ever saw her naked. Making babies was intended to be done in the dark. That's why we have light switches."

In an unscientific poll conducted by a couple of homeless men, most people asked said they didn't mind the Strip-mobile but had numerous alternate suggestions for the commissioner which can't be printed here. We can reveal that the comments centered on allegations the commissioner was romantically (sexually)linked to the truck used to transport the strippers.

This year the owners of Deja Vu said they were going to do the Christian thing and use the stripper mobile to deliver toys to needy tots in Las Vegas instead. From their hospital beds, where they were recovering from a recent mugging, they indicated they were not caving in to pressure from the Commissioners but just felt it was something they should do, for the sake of their families.