Monday, December 12, 2011

Book Urinator Strikes in Nebraska

Cops: Library books pissed on.

LINCOLN, Neb. -- Officials at the Bennett Martin Library in Lincoln have removed and destroyed about 150 books after someone urinated on the biographies bookshelf. Right wing bigots have turned to banning biographies recently because they are not censored. "Dirty words are used by people and quoted by their biographers," said a tight lipped shrew from a local book banning group. "We don't want our children learning that important public figures used dirty words."

The Lincoln Journal Star says Monday that officials don't know when it happened, why it happened or who did it, but the smell left no question about what did it. A police report puts the loss at $3,900.

Tammy Teasley of Lincoln City Libraries says she was removing older, outdated books from circulation on Nov. 28 when she detected the odor on the shelves on the second floor in a corner of the building.

Teasley says the person was likely intoxicated and found a secluded spot in the library to relieve themselves. She says the remaining books on those shelves will be moved elsewhere.

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