Penn Stateville, PA
Almost Any Date
Parents, trust your child with this man, a papal look alike, and philanthropist who helps young boys with promise(s)! Possible lucrative college athletic scholarship; free seats on the 40 yard-line for all family members for all Penn State home games; guaranteed B.A. degree in P.E. without attending class; personally autographed photo of Joe Paterno; possible early retirement for dad and a kitchen makeover for mom, when junior signs a $4,000,000 contract with an NFL team.
Oh, and free, hot showers with the coaches while horsing around with and getting to know them, your future mentors. And don't forget the facilitating coach's wife, dear ole mom.
The American dream come true. Rags to drags.
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