Monday, November 26, 2012

The UnVatican  11/26/2012

A spokesperson for the Vatican who was unauthorized to speak said the recent decision to dispose of 2 tons of pigeon poop discovered in the open tower of a church in Germany is being reconsidered in light of the commercial value of the pigeons' deposits of poop for over a period of approximately 3 decades.

The guano, as it is known commercially, is excellent fertilizer.  However, the unauthorized spokesperson said a plan to package the poop in 4 ounce packages, to be sold by Vatican, Inc, would increase revenue from the sale of the guano by 20 times, once it had been officially blessed.  The issue is whether or not the Holy See would approve of such crass commercialism.  Holy Water is one thing: Holy Crap is something entirely different.

Sanitation and clean water can be more easily managed.  Bags of pigeon poop are more easily lost or discarded, or mistakenly thought to be marijuana and smoked by teenagers.

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