California Woman Nabbed Pushing Smelly Trash Can Filled With Dead Man's Body Parts.

May 31 2011

(AP Photo/Ontario Police Department)

A police booking photo released by the Ontario Police Dept. on Tuesday May 31,2011 shows Carmen Montenegro, 51, who was arrested on suspicion of murder after she was found pushing a trash container containing human remains down an Ontario, Calif. street Sunday, May 29,2011.

ONTARIO, Calif. — A woman is under investigation for murder after witnesses reported to police that she was pushing a foul-smelling trash can down the street, which led to the discovery of a man's body parts in the barrel and what appeared to be bodily fluids at a nearby house, authorities said.

Montenegro was arrested Sunday after police found the garbage can filled with the remains, Ontario police Detective Jeff Crittenden said Tuesday.

Authorities have not yet identified the man, how he died, when he died, where he died or the relationship between him and Montenegro. Investigators were withholding information about which body parts were in the trash can, a 30-gallon plastic container, and which ones are missing, Crittenden said.

Montenegro, who listed her occupation as a clerk on police documents, has apparently lived on and off over the years in the house, which is owned by a family member, he said.

Investigators spent Monday excavating property around the house. A hole was found in the backyard and what may have been body fluids were detected, but Crittenden would not say if a grave or additional body parts were found.

The house is about 200 yards from where Montenegro was pushing the can in Ontario, about 40 miles east of Los Angeles.

Neighbors started calling police around 3 p.m. Sunday.

Crittenden said no other suspect was being sought but added: "We can't eliminate other people. We have to figure out the identity of the victim and figure out what kind of relationship the suspect had to the victim."

Police don't think there are other victims, the detective said. "It looks like an isolated incident, but we are still looking," Crittenden said.

People with no knowledge of Montenegro or the events, speculated that the woman had killed her boyfriend and tried to keep his body until the odor became too overpowering. "It would be interesting to know if his privates were in the barrel," said a stranger who heard about the case and came by for a look.

Pet Mountain Lion Slain By Montana Game Official

Helena, MT
5-26-11

A 'pussycat' mountain lion taking a nap on the porch of a Helena resident was shot to death while sleeping. The cat had done nothing to anyone and apparently only wanted to snooze in a warm, sheltered spot.

The one year-old lion is shown in the attached photo lying dead in the bed of a pickup truck, its body growing cold in the brisk Montaina air. It was not clear what would become of the lion's carcass or if its owner was made aware of the slaying.

Prague Zoo Sells Elephant Crap

Stinky souvenirs! Elephant dung for sale.

5/30/2011

PRAGUE — In the never ending quest to separate consumers from their money, the Czech Zoo in Prague has resorted to selling small quantities of elephant poop in containers that look like ice cream packaging.

Selling the elephant poop, which is the brainchild of the zoo director, Miroslav Bobek, whose surname coincidentally means offal, has proved popular among Czech gardeners.

$3.90 U.S. will get you 1 kilogram (2.2 pounds) of elephant crap. Zoo officials claim they are moving about 200 kilos of crap every weekend, raking in about $800. The shit business is so good they plan to expand the program to weekdays as well. But one tourist said she wouldn't buy the crap at any price, calling the scheme "very unusual."

Elephant crap can be hand gathered for free in the wild, as shown in the attached photo. Of course you have to go where the elephants live, naturally.

The brisk sales of elephant crap suggests a possible market for all kinds of animal poop. Chimp crap should be popular, and lion dung The crap of exotic animals should bring higher prices. Who doesn't want a bag of lemur droppings or koala crap? Or what about a small bag of cobra crap? (See pic of cobra above.)

So far, Czech health officials haven't raised any red flags.

Law Breaking Skanky Colorado Trooper Rebuffed

Man charged for giving state trooper the finger has charge dropped

May 28 2011

DENVER — A harassment charge has been dropped in the case of a 35-year-old Colorado man who faced prosecution for displaying his middle finger to a Colorado State Patrol trooper.

The State Patrol said in a statement late Friday that it asked that the case be dropped.

The American Civil Liberties Union had argued that while the gesture may be have been rude, it amounted to protected free speech.

According to the ACLU, Shane Boor was driving to work in April when he saw a trooper pull over a car. As Boor passed by, he extended his middle finger in the trooper's direction.

Boor was later stopped and received a criminal summons ordering him to appear in court to answer a criminal charge of harassment, which carries a possible six-month jail term.

The cop was upset because someone gave him the finger and wanted to punish him criminally and violate the man's right to free speech.

In the accompanying photo a grandmother shoots the bird to a roomful of cops. She is merely exercising her 1st Amendment right to freedom of speech and these cops know it. The Colorado trooper was simply pissed off and wanted to use his authority to punish the man.

Speed Idiot Loose On Road

Kyle Busch, a total idiot, tries to apologize for driving 128 mph in 45 MPH zone

May 26 2011


Shown in a May 13, 2011 photo, Kyle Busch, a NASCAR driver with the Joe Gibbs racing team appears to be the empty headed idiot that he is. He was clocked by a No. Carolina sheriff's deputy driving a yellow, $400,000 Lexus 128 mph in a 45 mph speed zone. Busch said in a statement that he was driving a new sports car and got carried away. No kidding? The moron then went on to say it would never happen again.

It should never happen again because his driver's license should be suspended for life.


The citation said Busch told the officer who stopped him the Lexus was "just a toy."

Busch is a smart ass with no brains and should be dropped from the Toyota sponsored racing team. He also should be suspended for life by NASCAR, along with his braggart buddy, Denny Hamlin.

Human Balloon - Ouch

Impaled on an Air Compressor Hose

WELLINGTON, New Zealand — 05/25/11

A New Zealand truck driver said he blew up like a balloon when he fell onto the fitting of a compressed air hose that pierced his buttock and forced air into his body at 100 pounds a square inch.

Steven McCormack was standing on his truck's foot plate Saturday when he slipped and fell, breaking a compressed air hose off an air reservoir that powered the truck's brakes.

He fell hard onto the brass fitting, which pierced his left buttock and started pumping air into his body.

"I felt the air rush into my body and I felt like it was going to explode from my foot," he told local media from his hospital bed in the town of Whakatane, on North Island's east coast.

"I was blowing up like a football," he said. "I had no choice but just to lay there, blowing up like a balloon."

McCormack's workmates heard his screams and ran to him, quickly releasing a safety valve to stop the air flow, said Robbie Petersen, co-owner of the trucking company.

He was rushed to the hospital with terrible swelling and fluid in one lung. Doctors said the air had separated fat from muscle in McCormack's body, but had not entered his bloodstream.

McCormack, 48, said his skin felt "like a pork roast" – crackling on the outside but soft underneath.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/25/steven-mccormack-human-balloon_n_866657.html?icid=maing-grid7|maing9|dl2|sec1_lnk2|65527

Mom Sweet Mom

Woman accused of trying to sell girl's virginity - Road RunnerPublished - May 24 2011 09:30AM CST

By JENNIFER DOBNER - Associated Press

SALT LAKE CITY — A Salt Lake City woman has been charged with offering her 13-year-old daughter's virginity to a man for $10,000.

The 38-year-old woman was charged Monday in Utah's 3rd District Court with two first-degree felony counts of aggravated sex abuse of a child and two second-degree felony counts of sexual exploitation of a minor.

In court papers, prosecutors allege that the woman had discussed letting her daughter perform oral sex and other sex acts with an adult male. The negotiated offer and an arrangement to exchange the teen's virginity for money were detailed in a string of text messages which were seen by the woman's boyfriend, who called police, court papers say.

The mom acknowledged the plan in an affidavit given to police in which she said her daughter was in agreement. The daughter, who admitted initially agreeing, later changed her mind.

The mom said she and the girl had been modeling lingerie for the man in a local store and at their home near the Utah State Capitol. Investigators say the woman said she had also taken pictures of her daughter wearing only a bra and skimpy, thong underwear and sent them to another adult male.

In the same affidavit, the girl told police she initially agreed to the sex-for-money arrangement, but later told her mother that she did not want to go through with it.

The Associated Press is not naming the woman to avoid identifying the daughter.

A check of Utah State Court records shows the woman has a criminal history that includes misdemeanor convictions for illegal drug possession and driving under the influence. A forgery case filed against her in 2007 was dismissed after she successfully completed a court-ordered drug treatment program.

Oops! Make that October 21 Instead

Radio host changes course says world's end actually coming in Octoer

May 23 2011

Harold Camping, the 89 year-old religious fraud who has received and squandered a small fortune over the past 17 years by predicting the Rapture says his latest fiasco is just a slight misinterpretation, and judgement day will actually not come until Oct. 21, 2011.

It would seem, according to Harold, that May 21 was 'selection' day when all the chosen for the Rapture were designated, a sort of inventory of the righteous by Christ. There was no mention of those who will be born between now and Oct. 21 or those who might convert between now and then.

Five months from now, on Oct. 21, will be the date of the big lift-off into the sky. Camping says he's sorry for any inconveniences and economic losses incurred by his followers on account of his botched calculation.

Camping actually showed his face for a taping of his show ''Open Forum'' in Oakland, Calif., Monday, May 23, 2011. Camping says his prophecy that the world would end was off by five months because Judgment Day actually will come on October 21. (AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez

As crestfallen followers of a California preacher who foresaw the world's end strained to find meaning in their lives, Harold Camping revised his apocalyptic prophecy Monday, saying he was off by five months and the Earth actually will be obliterated on Oct. 21.

Camping predicted that 200 million Christians would be taken to heaven Saturday before global cataclysm struck the planet. He said he felt terrible when his doomsday message did not come true so he left home and took refuge in a motel with his wife. His independent ministry, Family Radio International, spent millions _ some of it from donations made by followers _ on more than 5,000 billboards and 20 RVs plastered with the Judgment Day message.

The globe will be completely destroyed in five months, he said, when the apocalypse comes. But because God's judgment and salvation were completed on Saturday, there's no point in continuing to warn people about it, so his network will now just play Christian music and programs until the final end on Oct. 21.

Monday, rather than give his normal daily broadcast, Camping took questions as a part of his show, "Open Forum," which transmits his biblical interpretations via the group's radio stations, TV channels, satellite broadcasts and website.

Camping fully expects that there still will be many millions ready to go on October 21, 2011, and that more importantly, they will continue to send more donations to his ministry during the 5 month wait.

New Zealand Table Tennis Official and Coach Charged

Cops: Ping pong coach accused of using too much of the old bouncy, bouncy with pupils

Bryan Keane, 54, a noted table tennis coach and official in Nelson, NZ has been charged with two historical sexual offences, dating from 1987 and 1997.

Detective Senior Sergeant Wayne McCoy, of Nelson, said the complainants were teenagers at the time of the offences and the complaints had been made independently.

Table Tennis New Zealand (TTNZ) has sent out an email advising that Keane had resigned from the TTNZ board. Its website says he resigned for personal reasons.

Keane has been involved in all aspects of table tennis locally and nationally since he started the sport as a 12-year-old in 1969.

Atheists 1 - Rapturists 0

No Rapture, no rupture...skies don't open...earthquakes fail to shake

May 21 2011 07:32PM CST

(AP Photo/Dino Vournas)

The pastor of the Calvary Bible Church of Milpitas, CA, is shown above with members of his congregation he brought to the closed Family Radio station offices of Harold Camping in Oakland, CA. Camping is the 89 year-old radio evangelist who created worldwide publicity with his prediction of a rapture on May 21 that would lift all the planet's Christian faithful to heaven, leaving the remaining world population to suffer its fate as rolling earthquakes devastated the earth.

The rapture failed to materialize leaving some believers confused, while others reassured each other of their faith. Camping was unavailable to comment.

"I had some skepticism but I was trying to push the skepticism away because I believe in God," said Keith Bauer _ who hopped in his minivan in Maryland and drove his family 3,000 miles to California for the Rapture.

"I was hoping for it because I think heaven would be a lot better than this earth."

Bauer, a tractor-trailer driver, began the voyage west last week, figuring that if he "worked last week, I wouldn't have gotten paid anyway, if the Rapture did happen." After seeing the nonprofit ministry's base of operations, Bauer planned to take a day trip to the Pacific Ocean, and then start the cross-country drive back home Sunday with his wife, young son and another family relative.

The May 21 doomsday message was sent far and wide via broadcasts and websites by Camping, an 89-year-old retired civil engineer who has built a multi-million-dollar Christian media empire that publicizes his apocalyptic prediction. According to Camping, the destruction was likely to have begun its worldwide march as it became 6 p.m. in the various time zones, although some believers said Saturday the exact timing was never written in stone. Invisible ink maybe?

In New York's Times Square, Robert Fitzpatrick, of Staten Island, said he was surprised when 6 p.m. simply came and went. He had spent his own money to erect signs advertising the end of the world.

"I can't tell you what I feel right now," he said, surrounded by tourists. "I don't understand it. I don't know. I don't understand what happened.

"Obviously, I haven't understood it correctly because we're still here," he said. The surrounding tourists agreed.

Economists Among "Rapiest" Professionals On Earth

Jon Stewart takes on Dominique Strauss-Kahn defenders, French philosopher Bernard-Henri Levy and actor/economist Ben Stein.

Offering up the virtually unassailable "he's a short, fat old man" defense, Ben Stein also suggested that hotel maids are well known for being "lunatics." Case closed in Stein's mind.

The short, fat, old Frenchman has been freed on $1 million cash bond so he can relax with his equally fat, rich wife in a posh NY hotel pending further hearings and additional chamber maids.

The "missus" also stands by her man, who she characterizes as the epitome of fat, French manliness.

The video link below is no longer working, so you will have to go to Hulu.com for the original show, which is well worth the trouble.

Master Baiter's Actions Captured On Cell Phone Camera

No, Paul Payton (see photo left) is not a professional fishing guide or even a professional fisher on the pro fishing tour. In fact, he does not even fish (for ordinary) fish.

The Louisiana man was arrested after a woman (who apparently spent considerable time observing him and making a video of his activities) complained that he “exposed his genitals and began masturbating several different times.” Video of this affront--which allegedly occurred near a boat dock while Payton was seated in his car--was captured by the woman on her cellphone.

When approached by a Monroe Police Department officer, Payton, 43, admitted to masturbating in public, according to a probable cause affidavit. But the suspect offered a curious justification: “The act,” he reported, “was intended for another female who was parked" next to the complainant.

The affidavit does not further describe for whom the act was actually “intended,” or whether this other woman was aware (or desirous) of the man's "gift."

Despite his misdirected masturbation claim, Payton was arrested on obscenity charges and booked into the Ouachita Parish Jail, where he is being held in lieu of $10,000 bond.

Unlike the former head of the International Monetary Fund, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, who is a huge flight risk, Mr. Payton does not have a half million dollar per year salary plus $100,000 per year in perks and a rich wife to post his bail for him so he can stay in an expensive New York City hotel suite pending a hearing. Strauss-Kahn is accused of chasing the hotel maid around his suite whilst totally naked and attempting to forcibly rape and sodomize her.

Dumb Crook No. x&$@*#*$zzz

FBI: Ohio bank robber lowers hood when told to by bank clerk

May 19 2011

COLUMBUS, Ohio — An Ohio bank robber left authorities with clear surveillance photos because he lowered his hood when an employee told him to.

FBI Special Agent Harry Trombitas said the crook, in his mid-20s, and extremely unsmart, entered a Columbus PNC Bank on Wednesday with his dark hood up, covering most of his face. Trombitas said in a statement that the bank has a "no hats, no hoods" policy, so a bank employee told the man to pull his hood down, and he complied providing a clear photo of his face.

The FBI says when the robber got to the counter, he handed the teller a note saying he had a gun and to give him money or he would shoot. He fled with an undisclosed amount of cash.

Columbus police haven't announced an arrest.

Exploding Chinese Watermelons

Fields of watermelon burst in China farm fiasco

Published - May 17 2011 06:22PM CST

By ALEXA OLESEN - Associated Press
In this May 13, 2011 photo, a farmer shows a watermelon that burst in his rented greenhouse in Danyang city in eastern China's Jiangsu province....

In this May 13, 2011 photo, a farmer shows a watermelon that burst in his rented greenhouse in Danyang city in eastern China's Jiangsu province. Watermelons have been bursting by the score in eastern China after farmers gave them overdoses of growth chemicals during wet weather, according to state media reports, Tuesday, May 17, 2011. (AP Photo) CHINA OUT

BEIJING — Watermelons have been bursting by the score in eastern China after farmers gave them overdoses of growth chemicals during wet weather, creating what state media called fields of "land mines."

About 20 farmers around Danyang city in Jiangsu province were affected, losing up to 115 acres (45 hectares) of melon, China Central Television said in an investigative report.

Prices over the past year prompted many farmers to jump into the watermelon market. All of those with exploding melons apparently were first-time users of the growth accelerator forchlorfenuron, though it has been widely available for some time, CCTV said in the report broadcast Monday night.

Chinese regulations don't forbid the drug, and it is allowed in the U.S. on kiwi fruit and grapes. But the report underscores how farmers in China are abusing both legal and illegal chemicals, with many farms misusing pesticides and fertilizers.

Wang Liangju, a professor with College of Horticulture at Nanjing Agricultural University who has been to Danyang since the problems began to occur, said that forchlorfenuron is safe and effective when used properly.

He told The Associated Press that the drug had been used too late into the season, and that recent heavy rain also raised the risk of the fruit cracking open. But he said the variety of melon also played a role.

"If it had been used on very young fruit, it wouldn't be a problem," Wang said. "Another reason is that the melon they were planting is a thin-rind variety and these kind are actually nicknamed the 'exploding melon' because they tend to split."

Farmer Liu Mingsuo ended up with eight acres (three hectares) of ruined fruit and told CCTV that seeing his crop splitting open was like a knife cutting his heart.

"On May 7, I came out and counted 80 (burst watermelons) but by the afternoon it was 100," Liu said. "Two days later I didn't bother to count anymore."

Intact watermelons were being sold at a wholesale market in nearby Shanghai, the report said, but even those ones showed telltale signs of forchlorfenuron use: fibrous, misshapen fruit with mostly white instead of black seeds.

Disney Settles Claim By Penn. Woman That Donald Duck Groped Her Boob While Visiting Theme Park

Happy ? ending to groping duck claim at Disney Theme park. Penn. woman, Disney settle theme park groping suit


May 17 2011

PHILADELPHIA — A Pennsylvania woman who claimed she was groped by Donald Duck during a visit to the Epcot theme park has settled her federal lawsuit against Disney.

The whole case seemed questionable from the beginning because Donald wears large, floppy gloves over his own hands when dressed as the daffy duck at the park. He couldn't have gotten much of a personal sexual thrill out of groping the suing woman's boobs with the gloved hand (s).

Court documents indicate April Magolon settled her lawsuit against the entertainment giant last week. She had sued Walt Disney Parks and Resorts last year claiming a costumed park employee grabbed her breast during a May 2008 visit to the Florida park.

The Upper Darby woman claimed she had nightmares, digestive problems and other permanent injuries. She sought more than $50,000 in compensation plus punitive damages. She sought to retire from her visit to the theme park.

Magolon's attorney didn't return a phone message left Tuesday. A Disney spokeswoman declined to discuss the details of the settlement.

Photos or the live exhibition of Magolon's melons were not made available to reporters to make a determination if the duck would even be interested in a grope.

Snowmobile - Ha, ha, ha....

 

A Queens, NY man who left his car parked on the street in Brooklyn during heavy snows in January couldn't remember exactly where he left it until the snow melted. Then he was sorry he had remembered as he had no auto insurance.

Baked Bedbugs - Treatment Worse Than Problem

Ohio home burns down during treatment for bedbugs

May 16 2011

CINCINNATI — Fire officials in Cincinnati said a two-family home was destroyed when a heater being used by an exterminating company to kill bedbugs set a carpet on fire.

The house was being treated Sunday by an exterminator who says he gets rid of the pests by raising a home's temperature to 135 degrees using propane heaters. Residents are told to leave and remove anything flammable.

Citing overkill as the real problem (see the above fotos)Cincinnati Fire District Chief Glenn Coleman says the carpet was ignited by one of six heaters inside the home. He said the house didn't need to be burned to the ground in order to rid it of the pests. The fire went undetected until a neighbor saw smoke pouring from the house.

The exterminator, Richard Tyree, blamed an equipment malfunction for the fire and told The Cincinnati Enquirer he's never had a problem before. He says his company has insurance so it is "No problemo." The owner of the house disagreed, saying it was "mucho problemo" and that all the family's personal belongings were destroyed in the fire.

___

Dog Pee Leads To False Bomb Scare

Chihuahua lifts leg, causes New York bomb scare

May 14 2011 02:27PM CST

CENTRAL ISLIP, N.Y. — A Chihuahua that wasn't housebroken indirectly set off a bomb scare at a New York courthouse.

On Friday, May 13, 19-year-old Melvin Ruffin arrived at a court complex in Central Islip following a long bus ride from his home in Bellport.

During the trip, another passenger's Chihuahua urinated on his backpack.

Not wanting to stink up the court house, he stashed the wet bag in some bushes while he went inside to answer a disorderly conduct citation.

A retired cop with nothing better to do than hang out at the courthouse spotted the bag, assumed an imminent terrorist attack and alerted security.

A bomb squad was called in and a robot used to determine that the bag didn't contain anything more harmful than a foul odor.

Ruffin told reporters that authorities let him off with a warning to be more careful next time about where he left his stuff. The youth had not broken any law.

There was no word on whether the chihuahua would be charged with making a terrorist threat.

NY taxpayers of course footed the bill for the bomb squad investigation.

Dumb East Texas Lawyer Wears Filthy Tie Every Day For Six Years Because of a Stupid Vow Made in the Wake of the World Trade Center Destruction

Lawyer Puts On His Patriotic Tie One More Time After 2001 Bin Laden Vow

May 6, 2011

A Texas lawyer did not think he would be wearing his patriotic tie for long when he vowed after the Sept. 11 attacks that he would wear the same neckwear every day until Osama bin Laden was captured or killed. Was he ever in for a big surprise. He never counted on the Bush administration being that incompetent.

Now the tie is “frayed, weathered, and held together in part by Velcro,” KTRE.com reports. It stinks and offended people who were near him. So he kept his vow for a little more than six years, but then he received an "official" pardon from the mayor allowing him to retire the tie.

After word of bin Laden’s death, he got the tie from city hall so he could wear it one last time, according to the Lufkin Daily News. “I am wearing it in celebration,” he told the newspaper.

California Man Ejaculates Into Female Co-worker's Water Bottle

Cops, California man shoots co-workers water bottle>

Suspect in Semen Caper

SANTA ANA, Calif. -- An Orange County man was sentenced to six months in jail for ejaculating into the water bottle of a woman co-worker, who unknowingly sipped from the bottle.

Michael Kevin Lallana of Fullerton was sentenced Friday following his earlier conviction on two misdemeanor counts of battery. City News Service says he got 180 days in jail and must register as a sex offender.

Prosecutors say Lallana deposited his semen twice last year in the water bottle of a co-worker at Northwestern Mutual Mortgage Co.

Authorities say the woman sipped from the bottle in January, noticed a foul taste and threw it out. She noticed the same taste again in April, became suspicious and sent the bottle to a lab for testing.

Police in Orange County questioned company employees and Lallana eventually confessed.

It was not made clear by authorities what the man's motives were.

Read more at: http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/2011/04/22/20110422california-water-bottle-semen.html#ixzz1MOZwlalD

Blinded, Stupid Wife Defends Husband Who Hired a Hit Man To Kill Her and Her Mother

HOPD FILE - This undated file photo released by Kootenai County Jail via The Spokesman-Review shows Edgar Steele.

On Thursday, May 5, 2011, a federal jury in Idaho found Steele, an attorney who once represented the Aryan Nations, guilty on all four counts related to a plot to hire a hit man to kill his wife and mother-in-law so he could collect on their life insurance policies to pursue a relationship with a mail order Ukranian slut/bride.

Despite listening to recordings of her husband plotting her murder for hire, Edgar's wife, Cyndi, defended him in court and labeled the government's case against her husband a conspiracy. (AP Photo/Kootenai County Jail via The Spokesman-Review, File)

Fun City: Crazed Naked Guy Terrorizes New York City Subway Passengers | The Smoking Gun

May 13, 2011

A crazed NYC psycho strips naked in a subway car, terrifying passengers and ultimately having to be subdued by force by a uniformed officer and several civilian males in the subway station.

Fun City: Crazed Naked Guy Terrorizes New York City Subway Passengers | The Smoking Gun

Where Else Could a Woman Hide 47 Heroin-Filled Balloons?

Meet Tiffany Giummo, an 'expansive' woman

May 13, 2011

Police in Ohio, acting on a tip that Giummo, 20, was a mule, transporting heroin from Colombia to the U.S. pulled over a car in which she was a passenger.

During questioning, Ms. Giummo, pictured above, revealed that she was transporting heroin hidden in a very private body cavity peculiar to women only. She then proceeded to produce an astonishing 47 heroin-filled balloons from said body cavity which resulted in her being jailed on a felony drug possession charge.

The estimated in situ vaginal value of the drugs was estimated to be in excess of $4 million, making Ms. Giummo a very valuable woman, until caught.

Plane Pummelled By Electrical Storm

July 12, 2011

An Emirates A380 double decker jumbo jet carrying 500 passengers was struck repeatedly by lightning as it approached London's Heathrow Airport. An amateur photographer took the video that appears below. The plane landed safely.

Airline officials say several such lightning strikes occur annually and virtually none cause any real danger to the aircraft as the metal skins of the planes serve as conductors.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Sixty Year-Old Man Dies Trying To Revive Dead Wife

5/13/2011


JOYCE, Washington

Officials in Washington said a man called authorities to report that his wife had collapsed. The man then apparently suffered a heart attack and died as he was trying to revive her.

He was 60. She was 59. Both died.

Both deaths appeared to be from natural causes and no crime is suspected.

Man Attacks Colorado Shopping Mall

May 13, 2011

A 65 year-old man shown in the attached FBI photo attacked a shopping mall in Littleton, Colo. shortly after being released from a federal prison in Estill, S.D. There was no readily apparent motive why the former prisoner traveled 1400 miles to plant a homemade explosive device, which was not targeted at any individual or commercial establishment in the mall but was left in a public area.

The ex-con had been diagnosed with Type C hepatitis and cancer shortly before his release from prison.

Early speculation that the timing for the planting the explosives was intended to coincide with the anniversary of the Columbine school massacre was discounted by police.

The Devil's Tongue?

May 11, 2011

Florida man busted for overdosing on raspberry Kool Aid.

A Florida man was arrested for driving while under the influence of raspberry Kool Aid. The man was weaving in and out of traffic and running up over the median at speeds in excess of 100 MPH.

The give-away was when the perp stuck his tongue out at the arresting officer, a father of three young children.

When taken to the station, he blew a 1.2 on a breathalyser test. His beverage of choice, raspberry Kool Aid, was liberally laced with 190 proof Everclear, a form of pure grain alcohol that is colorless.

Man's Car Demolished By Snow Plows

 

A Queens, NY man who left his car parked on the street in Brooklyn during heavy snows in January couldn't remember exactly where he left it until the snow melted. On discovery of the vehicle he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to remember. Authorities offered to provide the necessary forms for the man to make a claim against the snow plowing company. Good luck!

'Terrorist Beverages' Mulled By Soft Drink Executives

May 10, 2011

Two of America's favorite beverages, Coke and Pepsi, have been revealed to be favorite terrorist drinks also. Osama bin Laden's household in Pakistan regularly ordered Pepsi and Coke for the inhabitants and guests. Coke and Pepsi executives were allegedly meeting to discuss if it would be commercially viable to label their popular brands as 'terrorist' beverages with small inset fotos of bin Laden on the labels; in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iran, Syria and other terrorist supporting nations.

Illustration specialists for BS expressed their anger at Coke and Pepsi for having all photos of their products image or copyright protected so they cannot be shown without paying tribute to the giant corporations.

Useless Model German Airport Built At Cost of $5 U.S. Million and 6 Years

World's largest model airport opens to rave reviews

Ben Mutzabaugh, USA TODAY

A video of the new miniature model Knuffingen Aiport at Miniatur Wunderland on the airort's opening day on May 4, 2011 in Hamburg, Germany is shown at the site below.

By Stuart Franklin, Getty Images

A miniature that's being billed as the world's largest model airport opened this week in Hamburg. It's described in nearly every media account as a spectacular display with a stunning attention to detail.

PHOTO GALLERY: The world's largest model airport

http://youtu.be/4_06qrFnvnw

The roughly 1,600 square-foot model -- loosely based on Hamburg's airport -- took more than six years to build.

And, the price tag? Around $5 million, according to the Daily Mail of London.

Australia's News.com.au notes the model -- dubbed the Knuffingen Airport -- "features 40 model aircraft and 90 vehicles that move and 'fly' around the airport, and 15,000 mini people. Not a single moment of air rage, however."

The Daily Mail remarks that "the planes even take off thanks to miniature wires that carry them off the end of the runway."

News.com.au says "there are approximately 40,000 lights, 15,000 figurines, 500 cars, 10,000 trees, 50 trains, 1000 wagons, 100 signals, 200 switches and 300 buildings."

The airport joins the broader exhibit at Germany's Miniatur Wunderland, where the Knuffingen joins a system of model railways and villages.

The website Geekosystem.com sheds more light on Miniatur Wunderland, saying "one of Germany's most popular attractions … already boasted a model railway that housed over 200,000 tiny inhabitants and over 6 miles of track."

Geekosystem.com adds visitors also "can watch the tiny goings on in various German and Scandanavian citites and towns, as well as some American locales as well."

Not So Happy Mother's Day

SC teen charged with killing mom on Mother's Day - Mom Surprised

May 09 2011

PAGE IVEY and MEG KINNARD - Associated Press

GREENVILLE, S.C. — A high school sophomore in South Carolina shot his mother to death and critically injured his brother after a family argument on Mother's Day, police said Monday.

Joshua David McEachern, 17, was ordered held without bond on a murder charge after a brief court appearance. It was not clear if he had an attorney.

Sheriff's deputies did not release details of the dispute that led to the shootings around 9:30 p.m. Sunday at the McEachern home in Greenville. They said 59-year-old Kathy McEachern was killed and 21-year-old Daniel McEachern was in critical condition. More charges were expected later Monday.

After the shootings, deputies said, Joshua McEachern called 911 and cooperated with authorities when they arrived but didn't tell them why he shot his relatives.

Master Deputy Sam Cureton said authorities were working to find out where he got the gun, although it was not clear what good that would do. Cureton said authorities had no records of domestic disturbance calls at the family's home, and McEachern had no previous arrest record as an adult or juvenile.

The teen's grandmother told The Associated Press her grandson was a sweet boy but never seemed normal. His sweetness was tempered by a murderous rage.

"I don't know how to really say this, but he was a child that was not 100 percent, mentally," Fran McEachern said from her home in Tifton, Ga.

She said her son and Kathy McEachern battled in court over custody of Daniel and Joshua after divorcing a decade ago. Their father saw his sons every other weekend, but their mother had primary custody.

As for her younger grandson, whom she last saw more than a year ago when the boys came to visit and fish in a pond near her home, Fran McEachern said she did not know if he had been on any drugs or medication.

"He was not normal to the degree of what he should be," she said. "I really don't know what created it. And somehow I don't much want to know."

No one answered the door at the split-level, red brick family home Monday afternoon, but drops of blood were smeared on the front door frame and on the stairs leading down from the front porch.

All of the windows were covered, some with blinds and some with sheets and blankets. But long-stemmed red roses, still fresh, could be seen on the sill of a small window over the kitchen sink, a reminder of a happier mother's day earlier in the day

Kendra Garcia, who lives across the street, said she'd noticed both boys were often rude to their mother but did not expect the disputes to turn violent.

"I knew they were rude kids, but they seemed normal," the 23-year-old stay-at-home mother said. "We would never think he would hurt his mother."

Others were not surprised and thought the McEachern home was a time bomb waiting to explode.

See ya Later Alligator -- Afterwhile Crocodile

May 06 2011
FORD HEIGHTS, Ill. — A suburban Chicago man thought he had the perfect chick magnet in his pet alligator. Authorities only saw a dangerous animal.

A charge of possession of a dangerous animal has been filed against 43-year-old Dewayne Yarbrough of Ford Heights, who claims he kept the four-foot alligator to impress women.

Yarborough told authorities he was 10 times more likely to get laid by womwn to whom he showed the gator than those who were not shown the alligator.

Animal control investigators did not say how they learned of the alligator, which they found in Yarbrough's kitchen.

The alligator was taken Thursday to the Animal Welfare League and will be given to the Chicago Herpetological Society.the Chicago Herpetological Society. Yarborough is pictured above.

Rabbi Gropes Sleeping Woman On Flight From Tel Aviv To New York

April 14, 2011 Suspected Groper>>

FBI Busts Rabbi For In-Flight Groping
Unorthodox behavior came on flight from Tel Aviv


Gropee

An Israeli rabbi flying to New York from Tel Aviv allegedly twice fondled a female passenger as she slept, and when the woman angrily confronted him, claimed, “It’s a mistake, I’m asleep,” according to federal court records.

Rabbi Gavriel Bidany, 47, was named earlier this month in a criminal information charging him with misdemeanor assault. A complaint sworn by FBI Agent Janet Ambrisco provides a detailed account of the March 27 incident on Delta Airlines Flight 269.

About 90 minutes into the 12-hour flight, Bidany allegedly reached over to the sleeping woman seated next to him and “placed his hand under her blanket, on her groin, and was groping her genital area.” When the victim, identified only as “Jane Doe” in the complaint, “jumped back,” Bidany “quickly removed his hand from her groin.”

The woman told the FBI that she then “pulled her blanket back over her head and body.” But minutes later, Bidany allegedly again “reached under the passenger’s blanket, this time groping the passenger’s breasts.”

“What are you doing, stop touching me,” she told Bidany. He replied, “It’s a mistake, I’m asleep,” according to Ambrisco. The female passenger “then left her seat to advise the flight crew of the incident.” Delta personnel confirmed to the FBI that the passenger had reported the inappropriate touching to them, and one crew member described the woman as “visibly shaken and frantic.”

Saul Bienenfeld, Bidany’s lawyer, declined today to discuss the case against his client, but said that the rabbi “asserts his total innocence” and contends that the alleged sexual contact “never occurred.”

Following his arrest, Bidany posted $250,000 bond and was ordered to surrender his passport and limit his travels to the New York City metropolitan area. At his April 5 arraignment, the Orthodox rabbi sought permission to return to Israel, though that request was denied by a magistrate judge.

In a subsequent motion, Bienenfeld asked for his client’s curfew to be relaxed since during the Passover holiday he “needs to be in synagogue past 9 PM” and “wishes to see more of those individuals who seek advice in communities that are not near the area that he is sleeping.” At the time, Bidany was staying at a residence on Long Island.

Bidany’s bail package was further modified yesterday, when a judge agreed to allow him to travel to Israel from April 14 to May 1. In a motion, Bienenfeld said that his client wanted to return to Israel “for the Passover holiday,” and had also recently learned that his father is “gravely ill.” Bidany’s bond was increased to $500,000 by Magistrate Judge James Orenstein.

The rabbi’s trial is scheduled for May 4.

Passenger Gropes Female Flight Attendant's Genitals - Goes To Jail Instead of New York

Airborne Groping Of Flight Attendant Lands Man Behind Bars




May 3, 2011
New York

A passenger flying from London to New York is facing a federal criminal charge after he placed his hand up the skirt of a flight attendant,“grabbed her genital area” and “began to run his fingers back and forth,” according to an FBI agent.

The incident, which occurred Thursday on a British Airways flight bound for John F. Kennedy International Airport, resulted in the arrest of Iurii Chumak, 53.

In a misdemeanor criminal complaint excerpted here, FBI Agent Thais Canin reported that the flight attendant has just provided coffee to Chumak when she turned away from him to serve other passengers across the aisle in row 42. As she “bent over slighty” to pour coffee, Chumak groped her.

A second flight attendant, Canin added, saw Chumak “grab the first flight attendant’s genital area” and immediately approached the passenger and placed him in restraints. The second attendant told the FBI that a male passenger had previously complained that Chumak--drinking from a bottle of Dewar’s--had “bothered and verbally abused” his wife.

When questioned by federal agents after the plane arrived in New York, Chumak said he “was drinking on the airplane, fell asleep, and woke up in restraints.” Chumak appeared Saturday in U.S. District Court for arraignment, and was ordered held on an Immigration and Customs Enforcement detainer.

Hungry Alligator Eats Deputy's Patrol Car

10-foot gator lunches on Fla. deputy's cruiser

May 03 2011

GAINESVILLE, Fla. — A 10-foot-long alligator has taken a bite out of a Florida deputy sheriff's cruiser.

Authorities say Alachua County Deputy Victor Borrero spotted the gator Saturday evening near the Gainesville Golf and Country Club. It attacked the patrol car while the deputy was waiting for an alligator trapper to show up.

Sheriff's spokesman Todd Kelly says the car's front bumper was heavily damaged. Deputy Borrero chose to remain inside the vehicle during the attack. He apparently feared the gator would break into his vehicle and devour him.

A Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission spokeswoman said the alligator was put down (a euphemism for slaughtered) under the state's nuisance gator policy. Under that policy, the trapper is allowed to keep meat and hide from the gator. Borrero was hiding from the gator but was not involved in the trapping, so he gets no gator steaks.

Fishy Arizona Law Suit - Bite Me

Salon can challenge Ariz. rules on piranha pedicure

Apr 29 2011

PHOENIX — An Arizona appeals court says a business owner is entitled to challenge the constitutionality of state rules barring her from using fish in her salon pedicures.

The Arizona Court of Appeals ruled Friday that Cindy Vong can sue over the Arizona Board of Cosmetology's threat to pull her license if she didn't stop offering the pedicure, which uses fish to eat dead skin off clients' feet.

The fish, imported from Eastern Peru, are known as Piranha and must be used with extreme caution. Last year, a woman client of the salon lost half her foot to the frenzy feeding fish when the operator stepped out of the room briefly.

The board alleged the fish were unsafe because they couldn't be sterilized. The injured salon client alleged the fish were unsafe because they ate "half her fucking foot."

Conservative watchdog group The Goldwater Institute had filed a civil suit on behalf of the salon owner, saying the board violated Vong's right to run her business as she saw fit in the Phoenix suburb of Gilbert.

The lawsuit says the board lacks jurisdiction because the pedicure isn't a cosmetic service.

A lower court had dismissed the suit.