Friday, November 28, 2008

Toothless cat devours python and alligator

Oxfart, MS-CRAP (Cat Rally Alternative Press).  A Killer cat was spotted today ingesting the remains of a python which exploded after ingesting an alligator.  What is even more bizarre is the cat has no teeth.  Yes, Killer Allen's teeth fell out not long after she moved to Mississippi and was ineligible for dental care.  She had been previously covered under her domestic (cat) partner's (Penelope) policy.  Penelope was last seen on a front porch of a log cabin in Water Valley, murmuring "What the hell were you all thinking?"  Mississippi has passed constitutional amendments prohibiting domestic relationships, prohibiting abortions (not that there were any physicians in Mississippi who performed them anyway) and prohibiting the consumption of any alcohol other than hard liquor in public places.  It is rumored that the latest prohibition (no beer or wine in public places) is related to excessive use of Johnny Cans.  It seems that whiskey drinkers are better able to "hold" their liquor, thus requiring less clean up time post public events.  

And that's the bizarre news from Mississippi for today.

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