Frugal, Cash Strapped State Of Texas To End Condemned Prisoners' Customary Last Meal

9/23/11
Anywhere, Texas

In the new age of Governor Rick Perry's induced budget cuts Texas prisoners condemned to death by lethal injection will no longer be permitted to request a last meal of their favorite foods.

It seems one such prisoner ordered a large amount of various foods and then failed to eat them. This enraged one Texas state representative, one of the many Neanderthals who are members of that low rent organization, so he decided no condemned prisoners ever again should be permitted to request a last meal of their choosing before facing death. They can eat whatever is on the prison daily menu: cheap, gristly cuts of meat, canned vegetables, stale bread, and apple sauce for dessert. The Houston legislator provided the world another, vivid demonstration of compassionate conservatism at work. Punish all future executees for the actions of one, even if unintentional.

The longtime tradition of a condemned person's last mealaame to a halt Thursday when Department of Criminal Justice executive director Brad Livingston yielded to demands from a prominent state senator, John Whitmire, who blasted the practice as "ridiculous" and "illogical." Like killing someone isn't "ridiculous" and "illogical." Brad Livingston is a coward who is not qualified for his position if he caves in to the irrational demands of a single legislator.

Maybe the guy who ordered too much food the day before facing death suddenly lost his appetite at the thought of a needle in his arm slipping him a cocktail of deadly drugs. One wonders if the legislator who was so outraged ever lost his own appetite when he learned his wife had just found out he was having an affair with his secretary, a young man?

At an average cost of $15 for a condemned prisoner's last meal (they usually order cheeseburgers, fries and a milkshake), this will represent a cost saving of $12 ($3 for the usual fare) per executee, or $2,808 for the 234 Texas prisoners executed during the 11 year tenure of Rick "Killer" Perry, the current Texas governor, who looooves seeing prisoners put to death.

More importantly, this $2,808 saving over an 11 year period, or $255.27 per year, could go a long way toward balancing the Texas state budget.