Alabama Preserves the National Morals Code

Alabama bans beer brand over "dirty" name on label

Apr 19 2012

Associated Press and Editors of BS

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. (AP) — You can buy Fat Bastard wine or Raging Bitch beer in Alabama, but you'll have to go elsewhere for Dirty Bastard beer.

The state alcoholic beverage control agency said it has banned the sale of Dirty Bastard beer in the state because of the profanity on its label.

Beer and wine are commonly sold in grocery and convenience stores and anyone can see the labels, so staff members rejected the brand because parents may not want young people to see rough language on the shelves, said Bob Martin, an attorney with the Alabama Alcoholic Beverage Control Board.

That's the whole reason for the rule, to keep dirty pictures and dirty words away from children, who never hear or see them at home or at school," according to a deranged staff member of the AABCB who spoke only on condition of his IQ not being publicly revealed.

The agency consulted sources including the Federal Communications Commission and Wikipedia to develop a list of objectionable words that should not appear on product labels, and the list includes "bastard."

The state allows the sale of Fat Bastard wine and also approved the sale of another brand of beer called Raging Bitch, but both of those decisions were made years ago. Ho hum!

More than one-third of Alabama's 67 counties still prohibit the sale of alcohol, and all but two counties in north Alabama are dry.