User Instructions For Urinal in South Korean Toilet

Hit or Miss

July 31, 2011
South Korea

It remains unclear if South Korean men are overestimating the strength and length of their stream or if there is a general problem of depth perception

Leaving nothing to chance, South Korean authorities are placing instructional signs for the correct use of urinals in male public bathrooms.

Bold Vienna Pot Growers Lose Downtown Crop

Police: Cannabis grown on busy Vienna thoroughfare

Jul 29 2011

VIENNA — Vienna police thwarted an unusual cannabis "ring" _ hemp growing along the Austrian capital's busy Ring Street which encircles the city's center.

Alerted by a news article about the illegal crop, police officers on Friday plucked a 200-meter stretch of green space along the three-lane street clean of the offending plants.

They acted after a Viennese biology student walking along the Ringstrasse identified the green sprouts poking through bark mulch beneath the stately trees lining the street and told the Heute about his discovery.

Tens of thousands of Viennese pot smokers were stunned by the loss as marijuana prices on the street took a jump following the crop bust.

An investigation was launched into the activities of local police who were possible suspects in the cultivation of the cannabis plants.

Certain parts of this story may not be true. Readers are encouraged to guess which parts could be false.

Oregon "Looker" Crosses Wal-Mart Off Her Shopping List

A woman from Eugene, Oregon says she was embarrassed and humiliated when Wal-Mart employees told her to leave the store because she was wearing an item of apparel she had bought at the big box retailer last summer. She said she never would shop there again if Wal-Mart was ashamed of its own clothing it sells to customers. She said she was finished shopping at trendy stores like Wal-Mart and would stick to the Goodwill Outlet stores and Family Dollar stores for her future shopping needs.

"I am a good looking woman who gets hit on plenty at the beach when I wear my string bikini," according to the woman. She feels Wal-Mart should welcome her because she attracts male shoppers and increases Wal-Mart's business. "The men follow me all over the store and even out into the parking lot, yelling at me."

A Wal-Mart spokesperson said the woman looked like an ugly, fat pig in the string bikini, with her shaved head and tattoos all over her arms and body that men and women alike complained about. Men were not trying to hit on her; they were trying to hit her to get her to leave the store, according to a "hot" young shopper.

Wal-Mart also said the woman was verbally abusive to other customers who told her to put some clothes on because she made them sick.

Man Attempts Do-It-Yourself Hernia Surgery With Butter Knife

Man attempts surgery on self with mixed results, police say

July 26, 2011
Glendale, CA


A 63-year-old Glendale man was in stable condition after he attempted surgery on himself with a six-inch butter knife to remove a protruding hernia from his stomach, police said Tuesday.

When police arrived at the man’s home on Sunday evening, they saw him lying naked outside on a lounge chair with what appeared to be the handle of a knife protruding from his stomach.

As police waited for paramedics to arrive, police said the man pulled the knife out and pushed a cigarette he was smoking inside the open wound, in an apparent attempt to cauterize the wound to prevent infection.

The man was placed on a psychiatric hold and taken to a hospital. His wife had notified police that her husband had become upset about the hernia and wanted it removed. Police had suggested the use of a hand grenade.

“It is absolutely impossible for someone to fix their own hernia,” said Sam Carvajal, a surgeon at Glendale Adventist Medical Center.

Especially not with a butter knife which does not even have a serrated edge. A real scalpel, preferably sterilized, would be needed and some clamps to staunch the blood flow during surgery.

There was no immediate information on the disposition of the butter knife.

Australian Woman Files Work Comp Complaint For Injury Sustained During Hotel Sex Session

Aussie Woman Seeks Workers Comp for Injury During Hotel Sex

Not necessarily the actual woman

Jul 27, 2011

An Australian woman who was having sex with an acquaintance in 2007 was injured when a wall-mounted light fell on her during the highly strenuous encounter that rattled the walls. The woman, a federal employee, is seeking workers compensation because the incident occurred during a business trip, according to Sydney newspapers.

The woman insists that having sex on a business trip is an “ordinary incident of life” that entitles her to payment under the workers compensation laws. She said she was highly active during sex and had had beds collapse under her during the act. The court did not reveal her name and she might or might not be the woman in the above photo. An administrative appeals tribunal earlier denied her claim.

Arkansas High School Says Half A Valedictorian Is Sufficient For A Black Honors Student And Would Avoid A "Big Mess"

School District Won't Allow Black Valedictorian

Rock for town to hide under >>>>>>>>>>>>>.

7/26/11
McGeeHee High School, Education News


After four years of nearly straight-As, Honors and Advanced Placement classes, 18-year-old Kymberly Wimberly achieved the highest GPA at McGehee Secondary School southeast of Little Rock, Ark., according to a court complaint.

However, instead of awarding the student for her hard work and dedication, the school denied her the valedictorian status because she was black, according to Wimberly's lawyer, John W. Walker.

This is not the first time this has happened in the school's history:

"[The] defendant's actions were part of a pattern and practice of school administrators and personnel treating the African-American students less favorably than the Caucasian ones..." While the school is 54% white and 46% African American, until Wimberly, the last African-American valedictorian in the McGeeHee school district was in 1989, 22 years ago. Hmmmm...

After Kymberly was told she would be the class valedictorian, there were whispers of discontent over her race.

School personnel were overheard discussing that Wimberly's valedictorian status might cause a "big mess."

The next day, high school principal Darrell Thompson told Wimberley's mother that he had decided to name a white student as "co-valedictorian," even though Wimberly had a higher GPA and a press release had already been sent out to the local paper naming her to the position.

The school board refused to hear the mother's appeal on her daughter's behalf, noting that it "would reflect badly" on white students for a black student to be tops in her class. It just wouldn't look right for an African American to be the smartest

"Aw shucks! This is Arkansas," remarked a local man who never completed High School. He offered Wimberly $100 to attend college if she would dismiss her lawsuit.

Wimberly seeks punitive damages for violation of equal protection rights secured by the 14th amendment of the U.S. constitution.

The McGeeHee School District seeks to hide under a big rock, such as the one pictured above.

Jet Blue Air Has Triple Standard Dress Code

Triple Standard? US Airways Allows Man Wearing Panties To Fly But Not College Man With Low Rider Pants or A Woman With a Body Shirt/>s

June 22, 2011

Jet Blue Airlines is in hot water for employing a triple standard dress code.

You remember the University of New Mexico football player, Deshon Marman, who was arrested at a San Francisco airport for his sagging pants, right?

Then there was the 27 year-old woman who was required to prove she was wearing panties under her body shirt. She was required by a male screener to lift her shirt to her waist so he could verify she was wearing underpants.

But in this June 9, 2011, photo provided by airline passenger Jill Tarlow, an unnamed passenger was permitted to board an aircraft in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., despite protests from fellow passengers.

This is a June 9, 2011, photo provided by Ms.Tarlow showing an unnamed passenger scantily dressed and taken at the airport in Fort Lauderdale, Fla.

The man was wearing blue women's underwear and thigh-high stockings. He also is sporting a spaghetti-strap top, baring his midriff. The panties are just as revealing.

According to police, the day Marman was arrested, he was wearing pants, "below his butt and his boxer shorts were showing."

So the new revelation brings up lots of questions about the airline's dress code and whether there is a triple standard at play. It also brings up questions about race. The cross dressing man allowed to fly is white and Marman is black.

"It just shows the hypocrisy involved," according to Marman's lawyer after he viewed the photo of the cross-dressing passenger. "They let a drag queen board a flight and welcomed him with open arms. Employees didn't ask him to cover up. He didn't have to talk to the pilot. They didn't try to remove him from the plane - and many people would find his attire repugnant."

O'Sullivan added, "A white man is allowed to fly in underwear without question, but my client was asked to pull up his pajama pants because they hung below his waist."

We don't have a dress code policy," [US Airways spokeswoman Valerie] Wunder said. "Obviously, if their private parts are exposed, that's not appropriate...So if they're not exposing their private parts, they're allowed to fly."

The airline has said Marman was exposing a body part on June 15 when he was repeatedly asked to pull up his pants. His attorney, Joe O'Sullivan, said surveillance video would show his client's skin was not showing.

Hot Woman Set On Fire By Husband

Man charged after gas-soaked wife set ablaze

Jul 22 2011

RiVERSIDE, Calif. — A woman jumped from a pickup truck traveling at high speed on a Southern California freeway after the driver, her husband, splashed her with gasoline and set her ablaze, authorities said Friday.

The 23-year-old woman, whose name has been withheld, has serious injuries from the fall from the pickup and remains hospitalized at Riverside County Regional Medical Center in Moreno Valley, California Highway Patrol Officer Sylvia Vargas said. The woman was expected to recover.

Constantino Monterrosas Gamez, 39, of Santa Ana was charged Tuesday with three felonies, including attempted murder with an allegation of domestic violence causing great bodily injury, false imprisonment and making criminal threats, district attorney's office spokesman John Hall said Friday.

Gamez remains jailed with bail set at $1 million pending arraignment July 28. There's no record that he has an attorney.

Gamez was driving a Chevrolet S-10 pickup on July 15 at speeds of up to 70 mph southbound on Interstate 15 in Corona when the couple began arguing, a patrol statement said.

Gamez was behind the wheel when he threw gasoline on the woman and used a cigarette lighter to set her on fire, the patrol said. The woman then jumped from the moving pickup and fell onto the roadway. She wasn't struck by any vehicles.

Gamez lost control of the pickup a short time later and crashed into a trash truck. The driver of the trash truck and Gamez weren't hurt.

___

Krispy Kreme To The Rescue

Okla. officials find doughnuts help trap bears

Jul 23 2011

COOKSON, Okla. — Oklahoma wildlife officials say nothing traps a black bear quite like a doughnut.

Wildlife officers are studying the growing black bear population in the eastern part of the state, and they say they've had the best success in trapping the animals when they use pastries as bait.

Craig Endicott of the Wildlife Department told Tulsa television station KOTV the agency usually finds 300-pound male bears and 200-pound females in its traps. But on a recent day, a 50-pound cub got to the doughnut first.

The bears are tagged and researchers take fur and tissue samples for DNA analysis. Some adult bears get tracking collars.

Researchers also are setting up about 200 bait stations equipped with hair snares. DNA from the hair will help map bears' movement.

Leopard Mauls Park Guard

Where you don't want to be.......in the arms of a leopard.

The leopard was the terrifying mascot of my High School. Fortunately, we did not have a live mascot, like our rivals, the North Dallas Bulldogs, who had a green Bulldog after some crazy teens painted it before a game.

Road Runner Image Gallery - Road Runner

Motel Bible Finally Put To Good Use

July 21, 2011

Man Beaten With Bible During South Carolina Motel Room Assault


Gideon's Bibles, which have lain unopened,unused, and unmentioned (except by the Beatles in the song, Rocky Raccoon) in hotel and motel rooms for decades are finally being used for a good purpose, attacking people.

During a motel room beating administered by three attackers, a South Carolina man was struck in the head by a Bible and told by one of his assailants that he needed to read it. Presumably this was because the victim had been fornicating with his assailant's girlfriend or wife.

The bizarre incident Sunday resulted in the arrest of the trio as well as the 19-year-old victim’s girlfriend, who had traveled with her boyfriend to the Myrtle Beach motel, where the couple “had sex multiple times.”

Then the female fornicator, Alexandria Marie Penatzer, 19, allowed three men into the room, where they beat and robbed the victim. According to a Myrtle Beach Police Department report, one of the attackers, Levi Wells, hit the victim in the head with a thrown Bible “and told him that he needed to read it.”

The 18-year-old Wells (pictured below right) and two other men were charged with burglary, armed robbery, and kidnapping. Penatzer, below left, was charged with assault and battery, and acting as an accessory both before and after the commission of a felony.

Hand Vagina With Black Accent Tops Summer's Worst Commercials

One of the worst, sexist, racist commercials ever.



Summers Eve, a feminine cleansing product, has succeeded in bringing commercials to one of their lowest points in history. A phony, hand vagina, surrounded by prickly pear cactus, talks about keeping "down under" fresh and sweet smelling. Hopefully, the brain behind this commercial will be fired by Monday next.

Supreme Court Advertises Its Favored Clients

July 20, 2011

In an effort to increase their incomes five justices of the U.S. Supreme Court have decided to rent themselves to the highest corporate bidders in return for favorable rulings in cases involving the corporations and their economic interests.

The original idea came from Justice Clarence Thomas, whose wife suggested it during sex, in an effort to spur his flagging libido.

Called "Rent-A-Robe," the new business is registered in a foreign nation with which the U.S. has no diplomatic relations and no treaties governing the conduct of business affairs between the two countries. "The justices can do pretty much whatever they want to, no questions asked," according to an unidentified official of the unidentified nation. "All we ask is a 25% cut of all monies they receive for selling their votes to large corporations," according to a spokesperson for the unidentified nation.

The U.S. Department of Justice, in a pre-recorded statement made January 21, 2001, said it could not intervene in any activities of the Supremes because of the separation of powers principle.

Mercy Killing in Georgia

Georgia delays execution of inmate for 1 day

Jul 20 2011


(AP Photo/Georgia Department of Corrections)

In an extraordinary display of mercy, Georgia prison officials delayed the execution of Andrew DeYoung for one day. It was the first time in history that the state of Georgia has displayed mercy for anyone for any reason. Prison officials and no one else in the state would give any reason for the delay, saying only that it was for procedural reasons. There was no indication that Mr. DeYoung was overjoyed at receiving one extra day of life on death row.

DeYoung brutally murdered his mother, father and sister (a younger brother escaped the family home before his brother could get to him) in an attempt to gain control of his parents' assets so he could start a business of his own. He had read that most new businesses fail because of a shortage of capital so his actions were based on sound business principles.

Now, we will never know if he could have succeeded.

Possible Improvement In National Gene Pool Reported In California

Authorities: 3 swept over waterfall presumed dead

Jul 20 2011 07:33PM CST

YOSEMITE NATIONAL PARK, Calif.

Three tourists from California, 2 males and one female, ignored a warning sign and warnings from other tourists not to cross a metal barricade blocking passage onto slick rocks high above the raging Merced River, swollen by recent rain and run-off. But they were determined to get a photo on a large rock in the middle of the river and plowed ahead, heedless of the warnings, no doubt believing they were invincible.

They of course lost their footing on the slick granite rock, first the woman, and then, one by one, all three plunged into the river 317 feet below where they were swept over the Vernal Fall (see photo) to their presumed deaths.

An unidentified tourist who witnessed the incident said it must have been a spectacular ride down the Fall, a once in a lifetime experience.

_________, 22, of Modesto; __________, 27, of Turlock; and _________, 21, of Manteca were the victims. They were part of a close-knit community of Christians from the Middle East who have settled in California's Central Valley.

Wedding Day Fiasco

Michigan Woman Arrested, Jailed in Wedding Dress

July 19, 2011

A 51 year-old Michigan woman got a real surprise on her wedding day. Acting on a tip that the wanted woman, who has been living in Florida as a fugitive, was making a return to Michigan for her wedding, police instead arrested her on a 3 year-old felony warrant for attempted identity theft and moved her wedding festivities to the county jail. Ha, ha.

The bridegroom was not available for comment but any honeymoon plans for the couple appeared to suffer a major setback.

Cuffed Arrestee On Ground Kicked In Head By Seattle Cop

Seattle cop kicks handcuffed man in head

The attached video shows a Seattle cop kicking a suspect lying handcuffed on the ground in the head. The cop, who has been accused of assault, claimed he was only trying to adjust the man's head so it would not be twisted and cramped.

http://www.komonews.com/news/local/125196159.html

Note The Name of the Newspaper Reporter

Bikini baristas arrested for allegedly exposing themselves for tips

VANESSA HO

July 12, 2011

The owner and three employees of a bikini barista stand called "Java Juggs" in Edmonds have been arrested for investigation of exposing themselves to customers for big tips, Edmonds police said Thursday. The bigger the Juggs the bigger the tips.

Sneaky Edmonds cops posed as customers in plain clothes and took video recordings of baristas exposing themselves, taking time to assure themselves the women's body parts being revealed were real.

"Some of the violations involved physical contact with the barista in exchange for money," the statement said. Police did not make any video recordings available as these were checked out to fellow officers for home review as part of the ongoing investigation.

A picture of a Java Juggs stand in a blog post about the businesses featured signs that said "Some like it hot!" and "naughty, pasties, baristas."

On Yelp, one customer wrote that Java Juggs was his bikini barista stand of choice, because his mocha was generally good, and the girls seemed to "really have fun."

In contrast, Michelle McConnell, the uptight owner of TnA Latte in Everett, said her business maintains a "respectful dress code." She said she named her business as a play on words to poke fun at other stands that she said have "lowered themselves just to make an extra few bucks."

So what does TnA stand for?

"Tasteful-n-appropriate," she said.

A random sampling of male patrons believed the name stood for Tits and Ass.

Contact Vanessa Ho at 206-448-8003.

Quick, Catch That Falling Kid

Toddler falls out of window; mother jumps after

Thursday, July 14, 2011


A 2-year-old boy and his mother were hurt after he fell out a 5th floor window Thursday, and she jumped out trying to catch him. The mother apparently thought she would fall faster because of her greater weight and be waiting when the toddler landed.

Instead, the mom sustained a possible broken ankle when she landed and the toddler a head injury. He and mom were rushed to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle for treatment; the mom for a psychiatric evaluation.

What Happens If No One Wants To Run the Town?

No one bothers to run for office in a small NC town's election

Jul 15 2011

TAR HEEL, N.C. — The races for mayor and three commission seats are wide open in the small North Carolina town of Tar Heel _ because no one bothered to run.

No one has registered as a candidate for the fall elections in the Bladen County town. The story was first reported by WECT-TV.

The ballots will be printed with blank spaces for voters to write in their choices. But if write in candidates decline to accept the town could be left with no government.

Two possible write-in candidates are pictured above. One, a former politician, who now goes by the name of Jesbu, indicated he was only interested in kissing ass since his departure from politics.

Current Mayor Ricky Martin says he's not surprised no one wants the jobs. Even in a town of 117, it's hard work with little compensation. And Martin says state budget cuts mean the next elected officials might have to raise taxes. Raising taxes could get the next mayor and council persons' asses kicked, according to an unnamed source.

Tar Heel has experienced rapid growth since 2000, with the population increasing from 70 to 117, a 67% increase. That probably means a lot more mobile homes and a lower quality of life for everyone.

Tar Heel is home to the largest pork processing plant in the U.S. and also has 7 churches, which is one church for every 16 residents. But since half the residents don't attend church, that means congregations average 8 people. They could meet at a Starbucks or the Dairy Queen and wouldn't need a church building.

The 117 residents live in 32 houses. The town is a real dump according to county officials, most residents and all visitors.

Cynthia Shaw, the director of the county's board of elections, says it's the first time she has seen an entire town without a candidate. Stick around Cynthia if more Repubnicans are elected.

Yogurt a la Semen

July 15, 2011

All of you avid readers may recall the disgusting story of the New Mexico grocery store clerk who spiked samples of yogurt he was distributing to unwitting female customers with his own semen. The story appeared here on BS several months ago.

Anthony Garcia, the clerk, 32, was recently indicted under Federal law for his felonious actions. He could be spending up to five years in the federal correctional system, where he might get a taste of his own "samples," a fitting 'climax' to his perverse acts.

The One That Didn't Get Away - But Should Have

July 11, 2011

A Texas man caught a really big cat fish, 143 pounds, about the size of an ordinary European woman.

When Words Are Simply Inadequate

Historical Bizarre Note No. 1 - Machine Gun Kelly

July 13, 2011
Arlington, TX

In it's never-ending quest to bring our loyal readers the best in bizarre, BizarreStuff is launching a new "every now and then" feature to bring our readers historical bizarre stuff. Bizarre stuff has been with us since time immemorial and we at BS thought an occasional bizarre incident from the past would be of interest to our readers. Then again, maybe not.

Our lead-off historical bizarre stuff story concerns an American gangster with the provocative name of 'Machine Gun' Kelly. Mr. Kelly's exploits, which took place during the 1920s and 30s, revolved around his indiscriminate use of a novel weapon known as the machine gun.

Analagous in some ways to the original rapid, repeat firing Gatlin gun, used by the U.S. Army in its almost successful attempt to exterminate the original owners of what is now known as the United States of America, the Native Americans, the machine gun, pictured above, had the added advantage of being portable and could be carried in a case that resembled that of a violin.

Mr. Kelly's use of the machine gun gave him a pronounced advantage over his rivals,
most of whom still relied on the revolver in the gang wars that followed the passage of the ill-fated 18th Amendment, in 1919, prohibiting the manufacture and sale of alcoholic beverages. Mr. Kelly's career as a criminal roughly spanned the time prohibition was in effect, until its repeal in 1933.

Mr. Kelly was also responsible for giving federal agents of the FBI the nick name G-Men. Kelly, like many infamous American criminals, became something of a folk hero and had songs written about him.

Justice - The American Way

July 12, 2011
Southern Utah

In an amazing display of 'getting even' a group of four elderly U.S. vacationers, each of whom holds a black belt in karate, decided to give a bullying gang of bikers a taste of their own medicine and a lesson in courtesy. They beat the bikers within an inch of their lives for belittling the older folks, making threatening remarks, forcefully taking their picnic lunch, and shoving one of the elderly women against a rock facing. By the time the melee was over, 3 of the bikers had broken limbs and two had to be care-flighted to a hospital in Western Colorado.

Utah public officials refused to file charges against the group of older tourists based on complaints made by the bikers.

"It was hilarious," said a police spokesman who declined to be identified on the grounds of insomnia. "These old guys and gals were whaling on these so-called tough-guy bikers and the bikers were begging for mercy and police protection. They'll think twice before they try to take advantage of others they perceive as being weaker in the future," he opined.

None of the beat-up bikers was willing to be interviewed for this story, claiming they were surprised and sand-bagged by the old folks. The bikers' motorsickles were impounded by the police and the bikers will have to travel to Provo to reclaim them and pay transport and storage fees.

The Eliminator - Catherine Dickslayer

Man's penis cut off, run through garbage disposal by angry wife


Jul 12 2011


(AP Photo/Garden Grove Police Dept.)

The above police booking photo depicts Catherine Kieu Becker, 48, who, in a controled rage drugged her estranged husband with a meal she prepared and served him, then tied him to a bed, amputated his penis with a knife and ran the detached member down her kitchen garbage disposal in her home in Garden Grove, CA. She has a court date Wednesday, July 13, 2011.

A police spokesperson named Nightengale said the 51-year-old man felt sick after eating, went to lie down and lost consciousness. His 48-year-old wife then tied the victim's arms and legs to the bed with rope, removed his clothes and attacked him with a 10-inch kitchen knife as he awoke.

"He was conscious when his penis was removed," Nightengale said. He got to watch his own penectomy.

Nightengale said Becker then put the penis in the garbage disposal and turned it on.

Becker called 911 and indicated to arriving officers that the victim was in the next room. Paramedics found him tied to the bed, bleeding profusely.

Bail for Becker was set at $1 million after she was booked at the Orange County Jail for investigation of aggravated mayhem, false imprisonment, assault with a deadly weapon, administering a drug with intent to commit a felony, poisoning and spousal abuse.

The victim underwent surgery and was in serious condition at the University of California at Irvine Medical Center in Orange. Nightengale said the man is expected to survive but will be dickless.

Becker was taken into custody without incident but refused to talk to officers, Nightengale said.

A Human Magnet in Brazil?

Brazilian boy attracts metal objects

Jul 09 2011



SAO PAULO — An 11-year-old boy in Brazil's northeastern city of Mossoro has drawn attention with his purportedly magnet-like qualities.

The Globo TV network broadcast images of Paulo David Amorim demonstrating how forks, knives, scissors, cooking pans, cameras and other metal objects seem drawn to his body and remain stuck on his chest, stomach and back.

The boy's father told Globo that he decided to test his son after learning of a boy in Croatia with a similar ability. Junior Amorim says he was surprised to find "a fork and knife stuck to his body."

The youth says classmates call him "magnet boy."

Dr. Dix-Sept Rosado Sobrinho told Globo it is the first time in his 30-year career that he has seen a case like this.

So far no one has come forward with an explanation. No scars indicate he may have had a magnet implanted in his body. Instead of metal objects being drawn to the boy's body why doesn't the boy stick to metal objects like cars, steel girder, etc.?

Virginia Man Has Unsuccessful Tryst With Blow-Up Doll

July, 2011

WOODBRIDGE, Va. -- A sex starved U.S. Army officer was charged with burglary and destruction of property after he was arrested in the closet of an adult video store with a blow-up doll.

28-year-old Justin Dale Little Jim is the culprit. Little Jim broke into an adult video store at 2:45 AM and was discovered by a police dog in a closet attempting to have sex with a blow-up doll, pictured above.

An initial court appearance was continued Wednesday. Court records show that Little Jim remained in custody Wednesday and did not list a lawyer.

His new girlfriend remained in the custody of the owner of the video store.

Woman Attacks Cop With Used Tampon

Cops: Officer attacked with feminine hygiene product

Jul. 8, 2011

A South Dakota woman struck a police officer in the face with a soiled tampon. (photo is of unsoiled tampons)

Ada Morales pleaded not guilty in May to two charges of aggravated assault against a law enforcement officer and other counts including resisting arrest and intentionally causing contact with bodily fluids. She is scheduled for trial in October. Morales claims the tampon was not soiled as a defense, asserting she had inserted the tampon only as a precaution because she was expecting her period.

Morales also is accused of spraying the officer with cleaning items, which may be used as a mitigating factor in her defense. She also attacked another officer, knocking off his glasses and scratching him.

It was not clear whether the first officer complained about the tampon incident.

Junkville, CA - A Man's Castle

Calif. oddity's creator ordered jailed by judge

Jul 08 2011

A 59 year-old retired phone company employee has incurred the wrath of officialdom by constructing a ramshackle dwelling over the course of 30 years that does not meet California building regulations.

Kim Fahey never sought building permits or followed other construction codes in erecting what he calls Phonehenge West, his home and the residence of other hangers on.

Fahey is shown in the above photo standing on his 'elevator,' a scissor lift, at its topmost extension in Acton, CA.

He has been ordered to dismantle the structure by a Los Angeles County Judge, Daviann Mitchell and to disconnect electricity and keep guests out but has failed to comply. So, he is being held on $75,000 bail in the pokey pending a hearing on the multifarious code violation citations.

Mitchell said Fahey's "blatant refusal" to demolish the structures and disconnect electricity put his family, the community and first-responders at risk because the buildings pose a significant fire hazard. The judge had allowed Fahey to remain free pending sentencing on the condition that he follow the order.

The case has turned into something of a fight-the-system cause celebre with more than 29,000 fans of a "Save Phonehenge West" Facebook page.

"He's like Simon Rodia, who built the Watts Towers. This is folk art," said Bill Guild, one of a handful of supporters who came to court Friday, referring to the Italian builder of the famed towers fashioned out of scrap materials in South Los Angeles. "It seems a bit punitive to me."

Fahey, wearing overalls and his long snow-white hair in a ponytail, told the court he has not had enough time to tear down the buildings after his conviction last month on a dozen misdemeanor building code violations.

People living in three of the buildings were told to move out as the judge ordered, he said, but "they come back when I'm asleep. What can I do? They have nowhere to go."

Orrin Hatch, Man of the Sewer

July 8, 2011
Washington, D.C.

Senator Orrin Hatch, a multi-millionaire doctrinaire pig from Utah, reared up on his porker hind legs in the U.S. Senate today and oinked that the poor should make more sacrifices than the rich to deal with the looming fiscal crisis caused by him and his Repubnican colleagues and the rich bankers and brokers they idolize.

Stating, in an act of willful mentition, that the rich are taxed too much and can barely afford to keep several houses staffed with servants at today's tax rates, further declared that the rich, such as himself, should have their taxes cut more, maybe eliminated altogether, and that more taxes should be shifted to the poor while cutting social programs that benefit the poor, handicapped, and other individuals with severe medical needs, to help reduce the national debt.

Hatch, who suffers from numerous diseases of the mind, has been declared mentally incompetent by an ad hoc committee of psychiatrists and psychologists who have examined his political record and public utterances over the past 25 years. They believe he has been mentally incompetent since birth.

Hatch's views are totally ignored by fellow Senators and he only continues as a Senator because his Utah constituents also are mentally incompetent. The only thing that can be done is to wait for him to die.

Weird College Courses

July 8, 2011

Odd-ball college courses can be found on many campuses throughout the U.S. Here are a few:

Hampshire College - Historical Sewing Techniques
Montclair College - How To Watch TV
Alfred University - Making Maple Syrup
Santa Clara Univ. - Joys of Garbage
Columbia Univ. - Zombies in Popular Media
Evergreen State - Looking at Animals

Crap In The Waste Basket

July 8, 2011

In certain parts of Latin America toilets, or sewer systems, are not built to handle toilet tissue. They will back up and flood the bathroom. Because of this many public bathrooms caution users to discard their used toilet paper in wastebaskets or, if no special receptacles are provided, in the corner of the room. This is a revolting practice to those not accustomed to it.

The posted sign above is commonly found in public toilets.

If you must use a public toilet it is best to use it early in the day. By late afternoon you will need a gas mask to enter one of these facilities.

Drunk Men Go Off-roading With Dead Alligator

Jul 07 2011

HOWELL, Mich. — Authorities say three drunks stole a 14-foot flattened and preserved alligator, strapped it to a pickup truck and took it off-roading.

The Livingston County Daily Press & Argus reports that 55-year-old Douglas Ward of Linden, 60-year-old Roy Griffith of Linden and 53-year-old John Sanborn of Harrison are charged with breaking and entering.

On June 25 they stole the gator from a barn in Hartland Township, about 40 miles northwest of Detroit. Sheriff Bob Bezotte says the alligator's owner found tire tracks near his barn and followed them to a party in Deerfield Township where the men were driving their vehicles around in the mud.

Police were mum on whether the gator was muddy or not.

The men are due in Livingston County District Court July 20.

One-Punch Hawkins - Man Not To Mess With

Racial comment preceded fatal Vegas casino punch

Jul 06 2011 06:21PM CST


This image provided by the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department shows Benjamin G. Hawkins of Gainesville, Fla., who was arrested on a murder charge in a fatal one-punch fight that left a Utah man dead inside a Las Vegas Strip casino restroom.

LAS VEGAS — A racial comment in the restroom of a Las Vegas Strip casino restroom preceded a single fatal punch that left a tourist from Utah dead and a Florida tourist jailed in Nevada on a murder charge, authorities said Wednesday.

Benjamin Gerard Hawkins, 37, of Gainesville, Fla., took offense to John Massie's comment about "a black man in a yellow shirt" while both men were in the restroom at O'Sheas Las Vegas Casino shortly before the fatal 12:45 a.m. confrontation, according to a police report.

Moments later, Massie was felled by a single punch to the jaw.

"One punch," police homicide Lt. Lewis Roberts told The Associated Press. "He was out. Never got back up."

Hawkins is black. Massie was white. Massie was pronounced dead less than 30 minutes later at Desert Springs Hospital in Las Vegas.

Massie's hometown wasn't immediately available. The police report released by the Clark County district attorney's office doesn't provide them, and the Clark County coroner declined to release the dead man's identity pending completion of the medical examiner's report.

Hawkins was held at the Clark County jail pending a Thursday court appearance in Las Vegas. It wasn't immediately clear if he had a lawyer, and the police said he refused jailhouse interview requests.

Police said the fatal confrontation was captured on casino surveillance videotapes. Roberts said detectives also questioned casino witnesses.

The slaying was the third on the Las Vegas Strip in less than two weeks, including the stabbings of a 21-year-old man Monday on a pedestrian walkway between casinos and the another 21-year-old Las Vegas man in a pre-dawn confrontation June 25.

Las Vegas police convened an afternoon news conference to note that arrests had been made in all three cases, to declare that the incidents were not connected, and to assure the public that the area's marquee tourist attraction was safe.

Everyone was reassured by these comments and all is well in Vegas.

Former Utah Beauty Queen Tried To Murder Boyfriend, 75

Woman charged with putting antifreeze in man's smoothie

Jul 06 2011 05:33PM CST

This image provided by the Lane County Jail shows Selena Irene York, a former beauty queen, who faces a second-degree felony attempted murder charge for trying to poison a man with a peach smoothie.

SALT LAKE CITY — A former beauty queen was being held on an attempted murder charge Wednesday after police say she spiked her boyfriend's peach smoothie with antifreeze three years ago.

Selena Irene York, 33, was arrested this week in Eugene, Ore., where she was in jail awaiting extradition back to Utah. York said she preferred to remain in Oregon.

Police say Ed Zurbuchen, now 78, nearly died when York bought him a smoothie at a nearby store, dumped out half of it and poured in antifreeze before he drank it. Ed, who was 75 at the time and slightly daft, thought the smoothie tasted odd but drank it anyway so as not to disappoint York.

The Sept. 29, 2008, case went cold until a jilted lover of York's recently came forward with new information, authorities said. York, a former beauty queen, had lots of jilted lovers.

Police in Vernal, Utah, received a letter in April from Joseph Dominic Ferraro, who was awaiting trial on an unrelated case in Oregon but had information about the Utah crime, according to court documents. The documents say he provided specific details of where York bought the smoothie and the antifreeze, including the brand name of the antifreeze.

The biological father of York's teenage daughter, Zack Elderkin, later told investigators that his daughter told him at the time about the man they were living with and how they planned to "knock him off."

Ferraro said he came forward with the information because he got pissed off after York drained his bank accounts and sold both of his cars while he was in jail. He said she told him back in 2008 she planned to obtain power of attorney over Zurbuchen's finances, then kill him.

Authorities say they questioned York again in late June after receiving the letter and she admitted poisoning Zurbuchen. She claimed she only did it because she wanted him to "stop being mean" to her children.

When Zurbuchen was taken to a hospital after drinking the smoothie, he suffered from dizziness, speech problems and numbness in his face, authorities said. Tests determined he ingested ethylene glycol, the main ingredient in antifreeze.

At the time, York acknowledged giving Zurbuchen the smoothie but denied putting antifreeze in it, and police didn't have enough evidence to charge her.

York, a former beauty queen, claimed to have had sex with more men in Utah than an average 13 year-old Mormon girl.

To Be Filed In The Who Cares Cabinet

UK coroner closes case on 130-year-old murder case

Jul 05 2011

LONDON — A skull dug up in a back garden has solved a 130-year-old mystery surrounding the murder of a wealthy London widow.

Julia Thomas was murdered by her housekeeper in 1879, but her head was never found, and the case was dubbed the "Barnes mystery" by the Victorians for the area of London where the woman was killed.

In October _ more than a century after the murder _ excavators discovered a skull in nature documentary maker David Attenborough's back garden. He lives near where Thomas was slain.

Reviewing records of the murder and census records, and using radiocarbon testing, detectives connected the skull with the murder case. West London Coroner Alison Thompson ruled Tuesday that the skull belonged to Thomas.

She said that Thomas was unlawfully killed and that the cause of death was asphyxiation and head injury.

"This is a fascinating case and a good example of how good old-fashioned detective work, historical records and technological advances came together to solve the 'Barnes mystery,'" said Chief Superintendent Clive Chalk.

Too Bizarre For Bizarre - Outrageous

SACRAMENTO, Calif.

July 5, 2011

A 29-year-old mother has been arrested on suspicion of burning her baby in a microwave oven, causing the infant's death, police say.

Ka Yang of Sacramento, Calif., was taken into custody Tuesday following a three-month investigation into the March 17 death of 6-week-old Mirabelle Thao-Lo.

Homicide detectives, medical experts and forensic scientists determined the baby girl suffered extensive thermal injuries resulting in her death, said Officer Laura Peck of the Sacramento Police Department

Peck said investigators found only three other reported injuries similar to the victim's -- in Ohio Texas and Virginia.

According to the Sacramento County Sheriff's Department jail website, Yang was booked on one count of murder and one count of assault leading to the death of a child under age 8. She is not eligible for bail.

Bridge Not Over Troubled Waters - Contractor In Trouble

Michigan bridge is 2 inches too long

June 27, 2011

SAGINAW TOWNSHIP, Mich. — A new 385-foot-long steel pedestrian bridge is 2 inches too long, forcing officials to delay installation of the span across a Michigan river. Fortunately, it was not 2 inches too short. Just to be clear that's off by 2 inches out of a total of 4620 inches, .00043 per cent.

Saginaw County Road Commissioner Engineer Ryan P. Whiteherse tells The Saginaw News that a crew installed one segment over the Tittabawassee River in Saginaw County's Saginaw Township last week but pulled it out when it discovered the fit wasn't right.

Whiteherse says taxpayers won't foot the bill for alterations on the $688,000 project. He says the fix is covered under a construction contract. (Why can't they just cut 2 inches off of one end?)

The contract had called for the bridge linking Saginaw and Saginaw Township to the Saginaw Valley Rail Trail to be in place this week.

Now, the bridge sits in four pieces near the river, about 85 miles northwest of Detroit. See photo insert. No pedestrians are currently allowed on the bridge to nowhere.

Jail Inmate Asserts Constitutional Right To Veiw Porn In Jail

Jail inmate: Lack of porn violates US Constitution

Jul 03 2011 09:13PM CST

MOUNT CLEMENS, Mich. — A Michigan jail inmate says he's being subjected to cruel and unusual punishment because he can't have pornography.

In a handwritten lawsuit, 21-year-old Kyle Richards claims his civil rights are being violated at the Macomb County Jail. Richards says denying his request for erotic material subjects him to a "poor standard of living" and "sexual and sensory deprivation."

The Michigan Department of Corrections did inform The Detroit News that prisons allow some pornographic material, though it's banned at the jail. The American Civil Liberties Union says prisons have a lot of leeway.

If porn will keep the inmates quiet and reduce the incidence of prison rape, it is a good, low cost correctional tool. Whacking off in the privacy of one's own cell reduces tension and thus stems violence, one of prisons' biggest problems.

Richards was charged with bank robbery after police followed a trail of snowy footprints and dropped money to his apartment from a bank robbery scene in January in Fraser, north of Detroit. He is clearly dumb and porn might help keep him from thinking, a dangerous activity for him.

Richards pleaded guilty. Sentencing is Aug. 2.

New York Motorcyclist With A Death Wish Gets It

NY motorcyclist protesting mandatory helmet use hits head, dies

Jul 03 2011

ONONDAGA, N.Y. — A man riding bareheaded on one of about 550 motorcycles in an anti-helmet law rally lost control of his cycle, went over his handlebars, hit his head on the pavement and died, police said Sunday.

The motorcyclist, 55-year-old Philip A. Contos, likely would have survived the accident if he'd been wearing a helmet like the guy in the photo, state troopers said.

Contos, of Parish, hit his brakes, and his motorcycle fishtailed and went out of control, flipping him over the handlebars, police said. He was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Pissed Off Hawk Attacks Bicyclists

Bicyclists getting smacked by angry bird

Jul 02 2011

PENDLETON, Ore. — Bicyclists in eastern Oregon say they're getting whacked on the head by an angry bird.

Riders in Pendleton, Ore., told the East Oregonian that a male hawk is dive-bombing them because they're too close to a nest he's guarding in an old cottonwood tree.

Bicyclist Mack Temple says the bird came in from behind like a fighter plane and whacked his helmet. Another rider, Charlie Newhouse, says the attack on his helmet was "like getting hit with a baseball bat." He says the talons went in through the helmet.

Bird-watchers say the large bird is a Swainson's hawk. The riders say he's been vigilant for a few nesting seasons, but hasn't been as aggressive as this year.

From the looks and size of this hawk the bicyclists would be well advised to select another route for the time being.

Bird-watchers say the hawk will ease up once his brood learns to fly.

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Man Guards Family Jewels In Money Deposit Bag

SPARTANBURG, S.C., June 29 (UPI) -- Authorities in South Carolina said they arrested a man who was observed by a store clerk with his private parts in a money deposit bag.


The Spartanburg County Sheriff's Office said a clerk at the Hot Spot store in Spartanburg told deputies the man, identified as Alan Ray Walker, 47, of Cowpens entered the store Sunday and headed for the toilet.

The clerk said she next saw the man exit the store's office about 15 minutes later with his pants on the floor and his penis inside a plastic money deposit bag. She said the man left after an argument and handed the bag to another clerk on his way out.

The sheriff's office said a deputy found Walker in his truck and he was found to be in possession of a substance that tested positive for cocaine along with a glass pipe, a .25-caliber handgun and $4,200 cash.

Walker was arrested and charged with indecent exposure, grand larceny, possession with intent to distribute cocaine and unlawfully having a handgun. He was taken to the Spartanburg County jail in lieu of $20,000 bond.

A police indecency complaint that is too small to read is pictured above. It basically says the man had his penis inside a plastic money bag. It was not immediately clear why anyone cared. No photo of the man's actual penis was released by police.

Read more: http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2011/06/29/Police-Man-put-genitals-in-money-bag/UPI-62541309330800/#ixzz1R0znhaDb

The Car With No Sex Ap-peel.

Pennsylvania man's banana car peels through Flint

Jul 01 2011
FLINT, Mich.

A Pennsylvania man cruised into Flint, Mich., this week in his giant, motorized banana and parked it on the bricks of Saginaw Street.

Some looked confused. Many snapped pictures. Three teen aged boys tried to peel it.

Banana car owner Steve Braithwaite tells The Flint Journal he had no idea how much he was going to enjoy people laughing and smiling at him.

The Coopersburg, Pa., resident with Flint ties brought the former pickup truck back through the area, more than two years after buying the original vehicle from a junkyard in Genesee County's Argentine Township.

Braithwaite decided one day he wanted to turn a Ford F-150 into a banana and travel the world in it.

So, what he calls his "crazy desire to do something ridiculous" became a yellow-tinged reality.

Florida - One More Time - This Time Over Lack of Penis Envy

Florida man taunted over penis size goes on rampage, to apologize, do community service, attend anger management training


JUNE 28--2011

TSA screener Rolando Negrin, 46, the Transportation Security Administration employee charged with assaulting a coworker who taunted him about the small size of his penis after his genitalia were exposed by a full-body scanner has agreed to attend anger management classes, pay a fine, and write a letter of apology as part of a settlement of his criminal case, records show. Pictured in the above photo, Negrin looks angry.

Negrin beat the crap out of a fellow employee with a police baton while demanding an apology in a parking lot at Miami International Airport. Negrin, pictured in the mug shot and in the scanner shot, told cops that Osorno was his chief tormentor and subjected him to “psychological torture” in front of fellow employees. Now his small penis is all over the Internet.

The disclosure that the prosecution of Negrin had been deferred came yesterday in a Circuit Court filing by state prosecutors.