January 20, 2009 Somewhere Strange
In a bizarre effort to reduce gasoline mileage, in order to exacerbate the oil shortage, a man invented a rocket powered Lazy Boy recliner, with a top speed of 180 mph, and an average of 12 gallons of rocket fuel to the mile. The inventor, who asked not to be identified, out of fear someone would notice him, said the fastest he had driven the recliner was 120 mph. "It just doesn't feel real stable at that speed and I would prefer not to turn over in that sucker because it has no top, no roll bar, no nothing. It is instant decapitation," said the unidentified inventor.
A spokesman for Lazy Boy Recliners, reading a prepared statement, said, "This guy is a friggin' idiot and Lazy Boy won't have anything to do with his bizarre rocket recliner. What the hell is he gonna do with it, drive it to the mortuary?"
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