Friday, January 9, 2009

Sample Essay Found on Microsoft Office OnePage Notes

January 9, 2009, Sault St. Marie is a U.S. city with an unusual name. It is located on the U.S. side of the St. Mary's River, which is the dividing line between Canada and the U.S. at that point. I haven't had sufficient time to determine why the Canadians got to name it? The city is the closest thing you can find to a singularly Catholic place. Marquette University, while technically located in Milwaukee, is a solidly Catholic school where you can easily get your ass kicked by suggesting that God was a big, burning hunk of love and never had any intention of letting Joseph in on the grand prize, Mary. And Mary, who was a steamy, sweat-smelling "hotty," would get it on with a Syrian, if that was her dick of last resort.

One thing you had to watch out for with Mary is that she would literally fuck your eyes out, on a dare. She probably fucked a third of the male population in Jerusalem and was the first equal opportunity fuckess.

No, wait, Cleo had already done that and found Ceasar wanting. Cleo, whilst on a shopping trip to Athens, talked Ophelia into having a four way with a centurian and a comely lass she bought in the slave market, especially for the occasion. She later had the poor girl de-clitorized, sodomized with the mast from a sailboat, and disfigured by pouring boiling water over her face, neck and shoulders.

The Bible, the Koran of Christianity, originally was contracted to be about some of the disciples writing down the history of Joseph, Mary and Jesus, although it's hard to see how anyone would forget that trick of turning water into wine. Taking dirty water from a cistern and converting it into wine, is the Holy Grail of the Wine Heads.

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