Sunday, April 12, 2009
God Works Her Wonders in Mysterious Ways
Cable glitch switches religious program to racy ads depicting voluptuous women in sexy underwear.
Apr 11 2009 11:09AM CST
A Philadelphia cable network's early morning broadcast of a Good Friday service at the Vatican abruptly changed to something wildly different _ a 30-second "Girls Gone Wild" ad. Several thousand men called in to express their approval of the new programming.
Comcast spokesman Jeff Alexander says the 2 a.m. Friday programming glitch was due to a required test of the Emergency Alert System. He says such tests are usually done in the overnight hours.
The test automatically tunes viewers to a preselected channel that would provide information in the event of an emergency. But during tests, the channel airs regular programming, which in this case included a paid advertisement for the racy videos.
Alexander says the problem affected the network's entire local area, but only one person called to complain. "It was one crotchety old woman compared with 1,000's of young, red-blooded American men and women. The station management plans to meet tomorrow, and as many days as it takes to consider changing to the alternate programming." Alexander told a reporter. "I think people have just gotten sick of God. It's all bullshit promises and a complete failure to deliver," he said, on condition of not being quoted. Sorry, Jeff.
"If we can get some hot women, wearing very little clothing on the air at 2:00 AM I am confident there will be a dramatic increase in the number of viewers. Old black and whites of Jesus just won't cut it with the modern crowd. You've got to show some skin. That's what's wrong with the Vatican. A bunch of old men running around in black dresses. Who needs it?"
Judas Iscariot reporting from the Vatican.