Monday, May 11, 2009
Open-Minded Christian School Teachers & Officials Encourage Ecumenical Warfare
The guy....The girlfriend
Ohio teen suspended for going to girlfriend's prom
May 11 2009 03:10PM CDT
A northwest Ohio teenager has been suspended by his Christian school because he attended another high school's prom. Officials at Heritage Christian School in Findlay had warned 17-year-old Tyler Frost that he would be suspended and prohibited from attending graduation if he went to the public school dance over the weekend with his girlfriend, who is 16.
Heritage's principal, Jebediah Branchwater, told a Jewish reporter, "Hell, just because we're God fearing Christians don't mean we don't know what those Jezebel sluts from the public schools are up to. The're after our young, virgin, Christian boys with whom they want to fornicate and do other nasty things like holding hands and deep throat kissing. Their ultimate goal is to get knocked up by one of our boys, who will feel obligated to marry them, live with them in perpetual sin, fornicating constantly, and be lured away from their Christian home here at Heritage. It's all part of a grand secular design, financed by pagans and blasphemers, backed by Moscow, in order to harm our bottom line and put us out of business, doing God's work here on earth."
Frost says he didn't think going to the dance was wrong even though his fundamentalist Baptist school forbids dancing, rock music, hand-holding, smiling at girls, looking at girls, walking down a hall with a girl, talking to girls, looking at magazines with pictures of girls, and having carnal thoughts about girls.
Frost didn't go to school Monday. Instead, he and his girlfriend are heading to New York for a Tuesday morning TV interview. They will be staying in the Honeymoon suite of a luxury hotel near 42d street, paid for by the TV show, and will be treated to an all expenses paid one week tour of the Big Apple.
The teen says he's now getting Facebook and e-mail messages from around the world, all supporting his decision, including Hugh Hefner, 50 Cent, an archbishop from Portugal, a royal prince from Austria, Hugh Grant, and dozens of other celebrities who want to know if the public school girls are "really like that."
His girlfriend, who asked to remain anonymous because she is underage, said she lost her virginity at age 11 and was glad she did. "I've had more dates since then than I had during the previous 6 years. It's been a wild ride."
When asked what she thought about her boyfriend's expulsion from his own school, she said, "He doesn't know how lucky he is to get away from those nut cases running that school. Half the girls I know from Heritage have been banging their boyfriends since they were 14. Heritage should change its name to Sin City High, ha, ha."
Contributing to this story was Sinbad Marcuse, in Lagos.