July 1, Nome, AK
In a bid to keep her name in the public eye, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin today challenged President Barack Obama to a race, a marathon to be precise. The Governor opined that she believed she could outrun (no pun intended) the President, who she described as a life-long smoker. Governor Palin actually has completed a marathon, in just under 4 minutes, after which she vomited profusely and was taken to the infirmary for rehydration.
The Governor, in an obviously feisty mood, also challenged Mr. Obama to a thumb wrestling match for the Presidency in 2012. "Let's just get it over right now and save everyone a lot of money and stress from a long Presidential campaign," said the Governor.
"I'm sure I can take the President in a thumb wrestling match, too," she declared. "Thumb wrestling was my special talent when I won the Miss Alaska title. He wouldn't last five seconds against me. And then I'd be the most powerful woman on the planet," she beamed.
Reporters quietly began to slip away as Governor Palin began to sing softly, "God Bless America." Her husband, Todd, steered her towards the Governor's mansion, where she had no business to attend to and no unanswered calls.
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