Now This Is Really Stupid - How Did He Expect To Get Home?

Pissed-off man pushes girlfriend's car into river

Nov 10 2009


MANATEE, Fla.— A man was charged with domestic battery and illegal dumping after authorities said he pushed his girlfriend's car into a river. The Manatee County Sheriff's Office reported that a 36-year-old man and his live-in girlfriend were arguing in her car Sunday night when he kicked her out and drove off. Witnesses reported seeing the man a short time later at a nearby boat ramp, pushing the car toward the water.

Authorities responded to the area, and a dive team found the submerged vehicle. (See before and after photos above.) Deputies had initially been concerned that something had happened to the girlfriend, but she was found safe. (See girlfriend above.) She had no way to get home and asked to be arrested with the man, for the night.

At the county jail, the jailer, who is unauthorized to do or say anything, even when at home, because he twice failed a Latin exam required by the sheriff, in the event they should arrest a Roman Catholic priest, agreed and placed the woman in the same cell with her boyfriend/assailant, where they agreed to patch things up and she would refuse to press charges. Prisoners in adjoining cells complained about moaning and screaming half the night from the pair's cell.

The following morning, the Sheriff fired the jailer, in Latin, which the jailer did not understand so he did not realize he had been fired. When he arrived for duty that evening, the sheriff orderd two deputies to take him out into the country and shoot him in the foot, as a lesson. The jailer immediately tendered his resignation, which the sheriff refused to accept because he already had been fired.

Confused, the jailer shot himself in the foot in an effort to appease the crazy sheriff. The sheriff then ordered him arrested and charged with aggravated assault and the unlawful discharge of a firearm in a public building. He is being held, without bail, pending arraignment next week, when a visiting magistrate returns from a fishing trip in the Gulf. He was ordered to lock himself up by the sheriff.