Wednesday, August 11, 2010

British Man Placed on Sex Offenders List For Attempted Coitus With a Bicycle

Man who had sex with bike makes court appearance

By Richard Alleyne
BST 26 Oct 2007

Robert Stewart admitted sexual breach of the peace, whatever that means.

A man was placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.

On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.

She said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police.

Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders’ register but his sentence was deferred until next month.

He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

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  1. How is masturbating with a bike, behind a locked door, breaching the peace? Bizarre?...Absolutely, but breaching the peace?...No. If it had been with a blow up doll would he still be facing these charges?

  2. Well that's a very good point, Brigitte. But this occurred in England, you know. The British can be a bit odd and they do treasure their bicycles. I've heard their are individuals who enjoy sniffing the bicycle seats of female bikers and I wonder if that's a breach of the peace also?

  3. I apologize for the misuse of the word "their" instead of "there" in the 4th sentence of my previous post. I also should have used "cyclists" instead of "bikers" in the same sentence. Bikers normally refers to motorcycle riders.

  4. I'm beginning to believe that you, Graywolf, are an anti-anglophile. Can't you find some French folks to make fun of? Or what about the Germans, they have got to be up to loads of bizarre things.

  5. Britain is a small island, and as such they are all slightly inbred - so what do you expect? Bring on the crazy Brits.

  6. Au contraire, Brigitte. I love the British people, the country-side and the dry wit of the Brits. I also very much like the French, Germans, Swiss, Italians, Spaniards, Portuguese, Austrians Dutch, Belgians, and Scandinavians. I am a Western Europhile.

    I feel certain the British people are no more bizarre in their behavior than any of these groups of people. It is just more difficult to come across accounts of these behaviors.

    The single most bizarre geographical unit of people I have encountered thus far are the good citizens of Florida.