Tuesday, August 3, 2010

These Toes Were Made For Typing - One of These Days These Toes Are Gonna Type All Over You

Tied-Up Georgia woman goes toe typing for release

Aug 03 2010

ATLANTA — Police say an Atlanta woman tied to her bed by an armed burglar was freed by police after she used her toes to type a message to her boyfriend on her laptop. The boyfriend didn't come to the rescue but instead called police to investigate the next morning.

The boyfriend called authorities at 8 AM on Tuesday morning to say the woman told him about 2 AM she'd been bound since midnight. He didn't go himself because he feared a set-up and that he would be robbed if he went, and it was her problem not his.

The 40-year-old woman told police the intruder, who had a handgun and wore a ski mask, took her around the house and went through her belongings, made some Belgian waffles and bacon, ate, and then bound her to her bed with some built in straps on the bed of the type commonly used in bondage.

The burglar left her laptop on the bed with the victim, which was stupid, and she was able to use her toes to type and contact her boyfriend. Fortunately, her toenails were not as long as her diamond studded 1 1/2 inch fingernails or she might still be tied up.

Oh! And the intruder stole the victim's car, a 1978 Olds Cutlass that was in bad need of a new transmission and a ring job so he was not expected to get very far.*

*Any errors of fact or opinion in this story, including the victim's photo, were intentional and meant to distract the reader, rather than inform. We do this ever so often just for the hell of it and to break up our readers' days.

Have a nice one!



  1. I saw this on one of the news posts that I subscribe to. I am a news nut. You should really check out Antoine on Youtube. He is great blog fodder!

  2. Thanks for the tip, Donda. Love having you as a reader and your commentary. I scour the underbellies of the U.S. and the world in search of the bizarre, the unimaginable, the real. No matter what, no matter how extreme, how incomprehensible, someone(s), at this moment, somewhere on the face of the planet are doing it.