Sunday, August 1, 2010

The Continuing Medical Marvel Known As Dick Cheney

Former V.P., mass murderer and PETA opponent Dick Cheney undergoes 147th heart procedure and survives

In this July 8, 2001, file photo released by The White House Vice President Dick Cheney is shown being arrested after escaping from a county jail on the Snake River with his family in his home state of Wyoming. The former vice president is still in the hospital after heart surgery in early July 2010, but his daughter Liz Cheney says Cheney, 69, is out of intensive care, and already planning trips for fly fishing and hunting later this year.

Cheney was forced to give up hunting and taking Sp. Ct. Justice Antonin Scalia on free flights on Airforce II, paid for by American taxpayers, to influence Scalia's vote in one of Cheney's court cases being decided by the Supreme Court; and for shooting his old friend and fellow corporate thief in the chest when he mistook his friend for a dove or a parakeet, according to a pre-recorded excuse made 18 months prior to the shooting with which his hunting friend agreed.

Dick Cheney has had about fifty heart attacks since he was 37 and uncountable cardiac incidents requiring emergency hospitalization. In his most recent surgery at a northern Virginia hospital, Cheney had a small pump installed to help his heart work because the heart had complained of being overworked to keep a mass murderer alive and had threatened to quit.

After the operation, Cheney said in a statement recorded 10 years ago, that he was entering a new phase of treatment for what he called "increasing congestive heart failure." That is a medical condition immediately preceding death.

A hospital spokesperson who was unauthorized to speak, didn't.

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