Florida: Most Bizarre State in the Nation

Florida was weird as only it can be in 2011

Dec 30 2011

As we, the editors of BizarreStuff, have learned from 3 years of editing this blog, the state of Florida is filled with the weirdest people and the most bizarre events of any other state in the United States.

We don't know what it is about Florida that attracts such bizarre people, engaging in some of the weirdest activities on the planet but it is undeniably the case. Florida's only rival is Australia, and even Australia, an entire country, cannot rival the single state of Florida.

On the domestic front, Montana probably comes in second with Texas occupying the third position. But Texas has more than 20 times the population of Montana. On a per capita basis that probably gives Montana the edge.

Part of the explanation for Montana might lie in the fact that Montana was originally populated by a large number of Texans who moved there to get away from the cold Texas winters. All jokes aside, a lot of Texans were early pioneers in populating Montana and bizarre genes run deep.

Now Brendan Farrington, an AP writer, confirms in his story below what we have found, with his own observations about bizarre occurrences in Florida for only one year, 2011. Does Florida advertise for these people or is it something in the water?


BRENDAN FARRINGTON, Associated Press

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) — Did you hear about the giant Lego man that washed up on Siesta Key beach? What about the man who walked into a bar, ordered a beer and disappeared for 30 minutes to rob a bank, only to return and finish his drink? Or how about the puzzling story of the baby grand piano that showed up on a sandbar near Miami?

That's Florida, where weird is an everyday event.

Over the past year, a 92-year-old woman fired four shots at a neighbor who refused to kiss her, a Delray Beach man cut off a piece of a dead whale that washed ashore — planning to eat it — and an 8-year-old girl gave her teacher some marijuana and said: "This is some of my mom's weed."

The piano was a mystery for about a month. On Jan. 1, 2011, the charred instrument showed up on a Biscayne Bay sandbar, a couple hundred yards from shore. A 16-year-old student eventually admitted he put it there as part of an art project. A day after it was removed, someone set up a table with two chairs, place settings and a bottle of wine.

It's still not clear how the 100-pound, 8-foot-tall Lego man washed ashore. The local tourism bureau hoped to use Lego man to promote the area, but the man who found it has placed a claim on it. He can keep it if the owner doesn't collect it before early next year. As for the bar-bank robber, he was arrested at his watering hole, not too long after the holdup.

Author Tim Dorsey, whose novels include Florida strangeness both real and fantasy, said the state is an odd place because of its diverse, highly transient population.

"There's pockets of strangeness all over the country, but here it's a baseline lifestyle. There, it's the aberration. There, it's the tail end of the bell curve. Here, it's the peak of the bell curve," Dorsey said.

Young people made up a large part of the peculiar tales.

In Palm Beach County, an elementary school teacher opened an end-of-the-year gift from an 8-year-old student's grandmother and found toiletries and a loaded handgun. A Tampa woman upset with her 15-year-old son's bad grades forced him to stand on a street corner with a sign that read: "Honk if I need an education."

A 15-year-old Florida Keys girl who is a big fan of the "Twilight" books and movies was afraid that her mother would get upset by the bite marks her boyfriend gave her after they acted out her vampire fantasy. She made up a story about being attacked; doubtful investigators got her to tell the truth.

Deputies arrested an 18-month-old's father after they found the man passed out in his mobile home while the toddler was in the yard picking up beer cans and drinking them.

Pasco County deputies said a woman walked into a bank with a 3-year-old boy and robbed it. A homeless man held up a Tampa bank, fled on a city bus and handed out stolen cash to passengers.

And while he didn't rob it, an unhappy Palm Coast bank customer left quite a deposit. He urinated in a drive-thru bank tube and drove off.

Animals always account for a fair share of odd news. At the Miami airport, a Brazilian trying to get through security was caught with several baby pythons and tortoise hatchlings in his underwear. A woman found a 7-foot alligator in her bathroom, and a man stored his dead cougar in a freezer.

In north-central Florida, an Ocala ice cream shop got rid of its costumed mascot — a waving vanilla cone — because passers-by kept mistaking him for a hooded Ku Klux Klansman.

In unusual crime stories, two managers of a Lake City Domino's Pizza were charged with burning down a rival Papa John's as a way to increase business. Two deaf men using sign language were stabbed at a Hallandale Beach bar when another costumer thought they were flashing gang signs.

And finally, a North Naples man who was pulled over for a traffic violation called 911 and reported a shooting nearby to get out of a ticket. He still got a ticket and was also charged with making a false 911 call.

There Went Santa Claus - Driving Across Idahohoho

Wash. man arrested with marijuana wrapped as gifts

Dec 29 2011

COEUR d'ALENE, Idaho (AP) — A Washington state man faces felony marijuana trafficking charges after an officer found 3.3 pounds of marijuana wrapped up as Christmas gifts during a traffic stop in northern Idaho.

Jason D. Palmer, 36, of Springdale, Wash., was arrested Dec. 22 as he returned from a trip to Montana, where he had been visiting family. He was bringing back some Christmas gifts for his friends in Washington state but apparently couldn't resist sampling some of the gifts.

Kootenai County sheriff's officials said Palmer was stopped east of Coeur d'Alene because his vehicle was repeatedly changing lanes and following other drivers too closely. The officer said he smelled marijuana as he approached the vehicle. In other words, Santa was stoned.

"When I made contact at the window, the odor increased its potency," the deputy wrote in his report.

"Santa" Palmer told the officer he was a medical marijuana cardholder and had a small amount of "medicine" in the vehicle.

"I asked him what was in the presents and he stated some 'sweaters,'" the deputy wrote.

But a drug-sniffing dog indicated the packages contained something other than sweaters. There were drugs when the officers opened them, court records said.

Deputies also seized $800 in cash Palmer had with him.

Palmer's 12- and 14-year-old sons, who were in the vehicle with him, were taken into custody on suspicion of frequenting, or being in the company of someone in possession of a controlled substance. Prosecuting attorney Barry McHugh told The Associated Press on Thursday that the boys will not be charged. Oh happy day.

Palmer was released after posting a $20,000 bond and a preliminary hearing is set for Jan. 13, court records said. The judge ordered a public defender be appointed for Palmer.

Czech Man Loads Luggage With Snakes, Reptiles and Poisonous Vipers - Yech!

Buenos Aires, Argentina
December 27, 2011

A Czech national faces 10 years in prison after Buenos Aires airport screeners found 247 (245) living snakes and reptiles -- including poisonous vipers -- in the bulging suitcase he tried to check on a flight to Madrid.

The "organic substances moving inside" the bag were packed in clear plastic containers, workers at the Iberia Airlines desk at Ezeiza Airport discovered after the bag was X-rayed. Some are reported to be extremely rare and protected by the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species.

Among the writhing cargo were South American pit vipers, yararas and several young boas. Two snakes were dead, and authorities said more would have died from lack of oxygen had they been loaded onto the plane.

Karel Abelovsky, 51, who appears to be a simpleton, was charged with attempted smuggling. How he ever believed he could pass through airport security with 247 (245) live snakes and vipers in his suitcase is strong evidence for the simpleton hypothesis.

It was not clear what the fate of the 245 still living snakes and vipers would be when the simpleton smuggler is arrested and jailed. The Buenos Aires Zoo has no facilities to handle a sudden influx of 245 new residents, many poisonous and hungry, and releasing them in the area surrounding the airport did not appear to be a viable option because the airport is surrounded by dense housing development and numerous schools.

An airport baggage handler with no knowledge of reptiles offered to take the suitcase home with him overnight until a very brief phone call to his wife nixed the arrangement.

Jail authorities also refused to allow the prisoner to keep the reptiles in his cell, citing concerns that some of the poisonous vipers could escape into adjacent cells, frightening other inmates.

The incident happened Dec. 7 but was just reported today. 20 days with poisonous snakes at the airport?

California Parolee Sentenced To Ten Years For Sexually Assaulting Chihuahua Puppy

Man who sexually assaulted chihuahua gets 10-years in slammer

December 24, 2011

Not the actual chihuahua


Robert Edward De Shields, a Sacramento parolee convicted of sexually assaulting a chihuahua, was sentenced to 10 years in prison and must now register as a sex offender.

A jury last month convicted De Shields of strangulation and sexual abuse of the 8-month-old chihuahua. He was high on meth at the time of the attack, prosecutors said.

De Shields is confined to a wheelchair and had rented space in a South Sacramento home. When the homeowners came home one day in March, they found De Shields holding the scared dog, prosecutors said. The next day, the dog was missing, but found in the garage with De Shields. The dog was in pain and shock, prosecutors alleged. De Shields insisted the chihuahua had wanted it and had come onto him.

A veterinarian later found severe injuries to the dog's rectum and internal organs. The chihuahua was not required to make an appearance in court, prompting an objection by De Shields' court appointed attorney, citing the right of every defendant to confront his accusers. The lawyer was later assaulted by angry members of PETA outside the courtroom. The lawyer was taken to a local hospital where he required 217 stitches to suture his wounds sustained during the attack. He immediately filed a motion to withdraw as De Shields' attorney, which was denied by the judge.

De Shields has been in and out of prison since 1992. Because of the case's additional requirement that he register as a lifetime sex offender -- unusual for an animal-cruelty case -- he must now serve his sentence in state prison, where he will regularly be sexually assaulted by dog-loving prisoners. Under the state's prison realignment system, he would have otherwise served the time in county jail, where he would have been regularly sexually assaulted, too, the Sacramento County district attorney's office said.

Efforts were underway by PETA and the SPCA to have De Shields confined to the infamous Alcatraz prison in San Francisco Bay, which closed in 1963, was briefly occupied in 1970-71 by a group of American Indians and is now a California State Park and tourist attraction. One million visitors a year who visit the island would be able to boo and throw rocks at De Shields for a fee, providing much needed relief for the state's prison budget.

Truck Driver Wins $300K Lamborghini and Crashes It Six Hours Later

Cops say summer tires worthless on icy winter roads.

Santaquin, Utah
Dec. 21, 2011

A truck driver with 6 kids and lots of bills won a $300,000 Lamborghini sports car. He was taking friends and family out for joy rides when he spun out and crashed the luxury car. He now plans to repair it and sell it.

Good idea. It's not a good car for a family of eight.

Man Drives 6000+ Miles With Wife's Corpse

TONASKET, Okanogan County — An elderly Canadian man drove more than 6,000 miles with the dead body of his 75 year-old wife seated next to him in the car. The situation was discovered when the man called authorities to ask whether or not he could cross the Canadian border with his wife's corpse. The Canadian couple were vacationing in the U.S. when the man's wife bought the farm whilst sitting next to her husband in the car. He was uncertain how to proceed and just kept driving while he pondered his options. Meanwhile, the body of his dead wife decomposed.

No foul play was suspected. However, there is a ton of paperwork that must be completed.

Quest For Bigger Penis Causes Man's Death

Dec. 16, 2011

Authorities say a New Jersey man who died after having his penis injected with silicone was trying to get it enlarged.

The woman police say gave the injection, resulting in his death, has been charged with manslaughter. She made her first court appearance Tuesday.

The Essex County prosecutor's office says 34-year-old Kasia Rivera gave 22-year-old Justin Street the injection in May. She has pleaded not guilty but remains in jail on $75,000 bail.

Street died the day after his injection. His death was ruled a homicide following an investigation and a medical examiner's determination he died of a silicone embolism.

Rivera also faces charges accusing her of the unauthorized practice of medicine out of her East Orange apartment. Authorities say they're investigating whether she gave other people similar injections.

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2011/12/13/national/a141817S30.DTL#ixzz1gjhdIPZo

Alabama Republican Tries To Wipe Out Lesbianism, One Lesbian At A Time

Jillian Rayfield December 12, 2011

An anti-gay Alabama Republican, shown here, was reportedly making secret sperm donations to at least nine New Zealand women he met over the internet, unbeknownst to his wife back in America.

Bill Johnson, who made a failed bid for governor of Alabama in 2010, anonymously donated sperm to lesbian couples in New Zealand, according to a report by the New Zealand Herald.

Johnson has spent much of the last year in Christchurch, where he moved without his wife and her three kids (from a previous marriage), in order to help the country’s recovery from the February earthquake, which apparently created a lot of lesbians.

All the while Johnson was reportedly trolling the internet under the username “chchbill” for women who needed help getting pregnant. He reportedly had exchanges with at least nine women — among them several lesbians — at least three of whom are now pregnant. He believes lesbians who are impregnated by straight males will not produce gay children.

From the Herald:

The Herald on Sunday approached Johnson on Thursday at a restaurant in Christchurch where he had just finished dining with one of the women he had successfully impregnated. The woman had a very satisfied look about her.

Johnson said the urge to become a biological father was “a need that I have”.

“I am married to the most beautiful woman in the world. When I married her I knew we couldn’t have any more children. She had a hysterectomy 10 years ago,” he said. “There is nothing my wife would want to give me more in the world than a child of my own.”

“Reproduction and having children is as basic a human need as eating,” he told the Herald. "You see me here, eating, don't you? Would you like to watch me donate sperm, too?"

His wife, Kathy Johnson, said the revelations were “the utmost form of betrayal.”

“This is a really, really difficult time for our family,” Kathy Johnson said in an email to the Mobile Press-Register. “I’m still in disbelief and very hurt, and our family has a lot of healing to do.”

You bet, sister. A lifetime of healing a cancerous wound known as Republicanism.

Johnson ran as a Christian conservative in his 2010 bid for governor, during which he said he was against gay marriage. He finished fifth out of seven Republican primary candidates.

Sex On The Subway Train

here

Toronto
Dec. 14, 2011

A clearly inebriated, otherwise drug impaired or supremely uninhibited couple, began an open sexual episode on a Toronto subway car. When ejected from the train by authorities, they continued their sexual escapade on the platform of the train station, where their activities were videotaped by a disinterested bystander.

Nonplussed, the couple continued their activities until they were arrested by police and charged with lewd behavior.

Sexual Discussion Between Irate Couple On Subway

New York City Subway Shout Out

New York, NY
Any date

An angry couple on a New York subway got into a lurid discussion of their sexual activities, or lack thereof according to the female. A video of their argument was made by a curious passenger. Graphic language is employed by both parties to the argument.

It is not known if the couple subsequently reconciled. It is hoped they did not. The woman clearly in unhappy in the relationship and wants her partner to have a more active appendage.


http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhSxSX6B58Wkgk5e4o

Book Urinator Strikes in Nebraska

Cops: Library books pissed on.

LINCOLN, Neb. -- Officials at the Bennett Martin Library in Lincoln have removed and destroyed about 150 books after someone urinated on the biographies bookshelf. Right wing bigots have turned to banning biographies recently because they are not censored. "Dirty words are used by people and quoted by their biographers," said a tight lipped shrew from a local book banning group. "We don't want our children learning that important public figures used dirty words."

The Lincoln Journal Star says Monday that officials don't know when it happened, why it happened or who did it, but the smell left no question about what did it. A police report puts the loss at $3,900.

Tammy Teasley of Lincoln City Libraries says she was removing older, outdated books from circulation on Nov. 28 when she detected the odor on the shelves on the second floor in a corner of the building.

Teasley says the person was likely intoxicated and found a secluded spot in the library to relieve themselves. She says the remaining books on those shelves will be moved elsewhere.

The Bigger They Come The Further They Fall

There was a time, not that long ago, when big butts on women (outside of Cuba and one or two other Caribbean and Latino countries), were considered to be undesirable, garish and ugly. Women dieted and undertook strenuous exercise regimes in an effort to diminish the size of their posteriors. (Remember the Fat Broad cartoon character?) Now, some women feel cheated because their butts are not big enough. Big butts have become fashionable, to be altered with the changing seasons and tastes of the women involved. Eventually, all that additional injected silicone, bacon fat, glue, epoxy and cement has to go somewhere and that somewhere is down, to a huge, sagging butt, if you survive the medical hazards. What price vanity?

Freak Cannon Ball Blows Through California Home

MythBusters' cannonball rips through house, van


SAN FRANCISCO —

Zany experiments testing scientific theories in real-world settings have earned the TV show "MythBusters" a devoted following, but a stunt gone awry met with an unhappy audience when an errant cannonball went shooting through a California family's bedroom.

Sheriff's deputies are still measuring how, exactly, the cannonball flew from a bomb range in the rolling hills flanking a suburban San Francisco Bay area neighborhood and rocketed into the front door of a home and through its master bedroom before landing in a neighbor's parked minivan.

Hosts for the Discovery Channel show fired the cannonball Tuesday as they filmed an episode testing whether other types of projectiles shot from a cannon would pick up the same speed and have the same impact as the steel ball. Later, the production team plans to film flying stone cannonballs at a rock quarry in Northern California.

Instead of hitting a string of water-filled garbage cans, however, the cannonball passed over the barrels, crashed straight through a protective cinderblock wall and careened off the hill behind it, said Alameda County Sheriff's Department spokesman J.D. Nelson.

"It missed the target and took kind of an oddball bounce," Nelson said. "It was almost like skipping a rock on a lake. Instead of burying it into the hill it just went skyward."

No one was injured, and the home's residents didn't even wake up until the broken drywall settled on top of them, Nelson said.

The show's co-hosts planned to go to the neighborhood to speak with those affected Wednesday afternoon, and a meeting was called with the entire production staff to understand what went wrong.

"We are really, really grateful and glad that no one was hurt," co-host and executive producer Adam Savage said in an interview. "Discovery is committed to making this right and making sure that everything that has been damaged is as good or better as before this started."

Producers have used the cannon they built at the county's bomb range, which is tucked in a valley in the suburb of Dublin, more than 50 times without incident, said Nelson, the department's liaison to the show.

Once it was launched, the cannonball traveled about 650 yards, bounced in front of the home, then tore through the front door and exited through a wall on the back of the house.

The projectile then bounced at least once more and crossed the road before smashing the window and dashboard of a gold minivan, where it came to rest.

Jasbir Gill, who owns the minivan, said he and his children had just gotten home.

"It's scary," Gill told the Contra Costa Times (http://bit.ly/umCZnD). "I was in the van five minutes before this happened."

"Mythbusters," which is produced for Discovery Channel by the San Francisco-based Beyond Productions, issued a statement through publicist Katherine Nelson on Wednesday saying all proper safety protocol had been observed.

"Beyond Productions is currently assessing the situation and working with those whose property was affected," she said.

The show, according to its website, mixes "scientific method with gleeful curiosity and plain old-fashioned ingenuity to create (its) own signature style of explosive experimentation."

President Barack Obama appeared on a segment last year aimed at testing whether the Greek mathematician Archimedes actually used only mirrors and the reflected rays of the sunset to set fire to an invading Roman fleet.

Penn State Recruitment - Friendly Showers

Penn Stateville, PA
Almost Any Date

Parents, trust your child with this man, a papal look alike, and philanthropist who helps young boys with promise(s)! Possible lucrative college athletic scholarship; free seats on the 40 yard-line for all family members for all Penn State home games; guaranteed B.A. degree in P.E. without attending class; personally autographed photo of Joe Paterno; possible early retirement for dad and a kitchen makeover for mom, when junior signs a $4,000,000 contract with an NFL team.

Oh, and free, hot showers with the coaches while horsing around with and getting to know them, your future mentors. And don't forget the facilitating coach's wife, dear ole mom.

The American dream come true. Rags to drags.

Suspicious High Yen Automotive Dust-Up In Japan

Jap Cops Suspect Foul Play - Insurance Execs Outraged

Tokyo
Dec. 4, 2011

In what one investigating officer described as a narcissists' convention, eight Ferrari's, two Mercedes-Benz and a Lamborghini were involved in a 14 car, luxury car collision Sunday on a Japanese highway. The resulting property damage was estimated to be in excess of $1,000,000. Sadly, none of the drivers or passengers were injured in the massive pile-up.

The Japanese association of insurers called for an investigation of alleged 'suspicious circumstances.' At least 5 of the car owners had been denied payment for previous property damage claims.

"It's hard to believe no one was injured in a multiple car collision of this magnitude, and that not one cheap Honda was involved" said an insurance company executive, Yokomodo Sukshoyani, who requested anonymity but did not get it. Another investigating officer said the scene resembled a staged Kamikaze event, on the eve of Pearl Harbor Day, Dec. 6. "These people were making some kind of a statement," he said. The officer was admitted to a psychiatric ward overnight for evaluation.

Florida Swings Again

Fla. man charged with killing couple with bat


The Murder Weapon >>

Dec 03 2011
KELLI KENNEDY, Associated Press

MIAMI (AP) — A North Florida man has been charged with two counts of first-degree murder after authorities say he beat a man and a woman to death with a baseball bat and then photographed their bodies.

Authorities said Saturday that Craig Arron Lede, 40, of Spring Hill is being held without bond after telling investigators that he killed John Ketsemidis, 29, and Dana Nelson, 28, at Lede's house on Wednesday when he became enraged that a debt couldn't be repaid. The suspect also allegedly drove to the home of the male victim's mother the next day trying to get money while the female victim's body was stashed in the trunk of his car.

"The defendant stated he killed John and Dana because he was tired of being 'screwed over,'" Hernando County Sheriff's Detective Randy Wiliamson wrote in an arrest affidavit. "The defendant demonstrated how he swung the baseball bat and struck both victims. The defendant stated he photographed the bodies and intended to keep the picture as a trophy..."

According to a news release from the sheriff's office, Ketsemidis' mother called authorities Friday in a panic because she hadn't heard from her son in a few days. She told authorities that Lede had come by her house on Thursday, telling a bizarre story that her son was at a local hospital and that he needed money. Lede was driving her son's BMW, she said.

Hernando County sheriff's deputies headed to Lede's home that afternoon in an effort to locate Ketsemidis — they had also traced him to the address through an ankle-monitoring device he was wearing because he was on probation. There deputies noticed what they believed was a body wrapped in a blanket on the garage floor, according to the news release.

"At that time Craig Lede became very nervous and asked the deputies to leave unless they had a search warrant," according to the statement.

Lede, who is unemployed and had a warrant for a probation violation, was immediately taken into custody. It's unclear if he has an attorney. It's clear he going to need anger management counseling.

As deputies pursued an arrest warrant, Lede began talking to investigators at the sheriff's office, authorities said,

Lede said the couple came to his house late Wednesday night and that Ketsemidis said he couldn't repay money he owed him, the news release said. Authorities said Lede became enraged and used a bat to strike Ketsemidis in the head, knocking him to the ground, and then to strike Nelson in the head.

"Once the victims were down and helpless, the defendant struck them in the head and upper body repeatedly causing eventual death," the arrest affidavit says. "The defendant then used his camera to photograph the deceased victims."

Keep It Quiet, Dammit

Man choked in movie theater for disturbing the film

Anne-Marije Rook
2011-11-28

According to the Seattle Police Department, a man was attacked while watching a movie at Majestic Bay Theatre for disturbing the film.

The police report states that the incident occurred during the five o’clock showing of “Tower Heist” on November 21.

The victim of the attack was watching the movie when his phone rang. After silencing his phone, the victim checked to see who had called him and the suspect, who sat a few seats over from the victim, yelled at the him to turn off his phone.

Five minutes later, the victim received another phone call and the suspect yelled at him again.

At some point during the movie, the victim spoke to himself and the suspect told him to keep his mouth shut.

The suspect then left the theater twice, brushing the victim’s legs as he walked past him.

When the suspect returned to his seat the second time, he grabbed the victim’s throat with both hands. The victim stated that he couldn’t breathe and tried to pull his attacker’s hands off him. The attack lasted for about 30 seconds and the suspect subsequently grabbed his backpack from his seat and left the theater.

While the officer did not observe any visible injury, three witnesses confirmed the attack.

The incident was referred to the Seattle Law Department for assault.

The victim was sorry he didn't heed the theater's warning to silence all cell phones. He'll probably be more responsible in the future, or carry his own handgun.

Facial Flame Out

Kim Grice, a 29-year-old mother of three, endured a situation most have only seen on TV.

The actual fire, caught on video>>

While having cysts removed from her head at the North Okaloosa Medical Center in Crestview, Fla., Grice's face erupted in flames in a phenomenon known as a flash fire, ABC News reported. The flames make it difficult to distinguish Grice's facial features.

While the source of the fire is currently under investigation, ECRI Institute vice president for accident and forensic investigation Mark Bruley told ABC News the occurrence is not uncommon.

"There are between 550 and 650 surgical fires a year," Bruley told ABC, adding fewer than 30 of them cause injury.

Such was not the case for Brice who was airlifted from the medical center to the University of South Alabama Burn Unit on Tuesday morning, according to the Crestview Bulletin.

"I am in shock. This is not what happens with a routine outpatient surgery," Kim's mother, Ann Grice, told the paper "She had headaches and the doctor was going to remove three cysts and biopsy them but something went bad wrong and my daughter is now in a burn unit with burn specialists and I still do not know what happened. No one will tell me why or how this happened to her."

North Okaloosa Medical Center spokeswoman Rachel Neighbors released an official statement about the incident to the Northwest Florida Daily News:

"We are conducting a thorough review to fully understand what happened in a deliberate effort to prevent such an event from occurring again. Our highest priority is always the safety of our patients."

Does the medical center every make an undeliberate effort at prevention?

Whether or not Grice and her family will be suing the center remains to be seen but not for long. What PI lawyer isn't salivating over this case? A scorched Grice will have many millions of reasons to console herself.

MSNBC reported that more than half of surgical fires happen inside a patient's airway, known as flaming throat, or on the patient's upper body, while a quarter of surgical fires happen on other parts of the body. Fewer than 10 percent of surgical fires actually happen within the body cavity.

MSNBC reports the tools linked with igniting surgical fires:

About 70 percent are ignited by electrosurgical tools commonly known as Bovies, devices that use a high-frequency electric current to cut tissue or stop bleeding. Twenty percent of fires are sparked by hot wires, light sources, burrs or defibrillators. About 10 percent are touched off by lasers.

In 2007, Swedish news source The Local reported that a 40-year-old woman caught fire during an operation to remove hemorrhoids. The flammable antiseptic solution came into contact with the electrical current being used for her electrosurgery; the woman survived, but had to be treated for burns, The Local reported.

Beware all ye users of Preparation H.

French Father Gives Son Deadly Bath For Acting Out At School

Dad Drowned Son in Washing Machine for Chilling Reason

Sasha Brown-Worsham
November 28, 2011

Actual washing machine >>

Three-year-old Bastien never had a chance when his 33-year-old father Christophe Champenois pushed him into a washing machine. The toddler died from his injuries, which were allegedly inflicted because he acted out in his preschool class. But the real reason, according to his grandmother, is much more chilling.

The boy's grandmother told Le Parisen that Bastien was an "unwanted child." She reported that the day Bastien was born, his father was "drinking with his friends and told me he didn't want the child." So for three years, the father abused the child until one day he finally killed him. And it wasn't the first time he had placed the child in the washing machine, according to The Huffington Post.

The father was unavailable to comment.

Hunter Shot In Ass By Own Dog

Dog steps on gun, shoots Utah hunter in buttocks

Nov 30 2011

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — A Utah bird hunter was shot in the buttocks after his dog stepped on a shotgun laid across the bow of a boat.

Box Elder County Sheriff's Deputy Kevin Potter says the 46-year-old Brigham City man was duck hunting with a friend when he climbed out of the boat to move decoys.

Potter says the man left his 12-gauge shotgun in the boat and the dog stepped on it, causing it to fire. It wasn't clear whether the safety on the gun was on at the time or if the dog disengaged the safety before stepping on the shotgun.

Potter says the man was hit from about 10 feet away with 27 pellets of birdshot. He says the man wasn't seriously injured, in part because he was wearing waders. The man was treated at a nearby hospital.

The dog was adopted by a local animal rescue group that promises to use the dog as a poster dog in a public campaign opposed to hunting.

California Mom Does Son's Friend

Cops: Woman charged with having sex with 12 year-old

Nov. 29, 2011

A 43 year-old Orange County woman, described by some as a "hot pepper" has been charged with having sex with her son's friend, authorities said last Thursday. Her son and his friend are both 12 year-olds.

Patricia Ann Serrano, shown here, faces multiple counts of lewd acts on a child under 14, and could have her sentence enhanced for substantial sexual conduct with a child, according to the Orange County district attorney's office.

Serrano, the "hot pepper," is accused of having sex with the boy twice -- in a car and in her home, according to the district attorney' office.

The boy's mother discovered Serrano kissing her son in a room but didn't see any wrongdoing. She did become suspicious and called the police.

Serrano was arrested on Tuesday and is being held in lieu of $100,000 bond.

The D.A.'s office said the case is ongoing and asked anyone with information to contact them.

Searching For Love In All The Wrong Places

Wandering wolf inspires hope and dread

Nov 28 2011 03:39AM CST

JEFF BARNARD, Associated Press

This Aug. 4, 2010 photo provided by the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife shows a male wolf from the Wenaha pack after being fitted with a radio collar in northeastern Oregon. A young male from the Imnaha pack has become a celebrity since striking out for a new territory in search of a mate in September. His position has been tracked by GPS transmissions from his collar, showing he zigzagged 730 miles to end up 320 miles from home. Lately he has been in the southern Cascade Range. (AP Photo/Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife)

GRANTS PASS, Ore. (AP) — A young wolf from Oregon has become a media celebrity while looking for love, tracing a zigzag path that has carried him hundreds of miles nearly to California, while his alpha male sire and a sibling that stayed home near the Idaho border are under a death warrant for killing cattle.

Backcountry lodge owner Liz Parrish thinks she locked eyes with the wolf called OR-7 on the edge of the meadow in front of her Crystalwood Lodge, on the western shore of Upper Klamath Lake, and hopes someday she will hear his howls coming out of the tall timber.

"I was stunned — it was such a huge animal," said Parrish, who has seen her share of wolves while racing dog sleds in Alaska and Minnesota. "He just stopped and stared. I stopped and stared. We had a stare-down that seemed like a long time, but was probably just a few seconds.

"He just evaporated into the trees. I stayed there awhile, hoping he might come back. He didn't."

Cattle rancher Nathan Jackson has not seen or heard the wolf, and hopes he never does.

"In this country, we worked really hard to exterminate wolves 50 years ago or so, and there was a reason," said Jackson, who ranches on the other side of Upper Klamath Lake from Parrish's lodge.

"A lot of people who don't have a direct tie to the agricultural community tend to view wolves as majestic, beautiful creatures. They don't seem so majestic and beautiful when they are ripping apart calves and colts."

Last February, OR-7 was in a snowy canyon in northeastern Oregon, when a state biologist shot him with a tranquilizer dart from a helicopter, then fitted him with a tracking collar and blue ear tags. State biologists have been able to chart his journey from GPS positions transmitted from the collar. They show he has traveled 730 miles on his meandering route, getting as far as 320 miles from home. And each time he crosses a county line, OR-7 makes it into the newspapers and on TV news.

The conservation group Oregon Wild has begun a contest to give OR-7 a different name, hoping to make him too famous to be shot, either by a poacher, rancher or government hunter. One entry came from as far away as Finland. The first came from a little girl in OR-7's home territory of Wallowa County, who suggested "Whoseafraida."

Shitty Deal Exposed In Florida

3 face prison time in special toilet paper scam

Nov 26 2011

Don't trust your toilet paper supplier. In a Federal case in Florida, 3 people who worked for a Septic tank company tricked customers into buying more than $1 million in unnecessary toilet tissue and other products because of alleged Federal regulations. In some cases enough toilet paper to last more than 70 years was sold to unwary customers.

The trio pleaded guilty in federal court to conspiring to commit wire fraud.

The Miami Herald reported (http://bit.ly/uNgbS7 ) that they worked for FBK Products. A phone number for the Riviera Beach-based company was not working Saturday. We wonder why?

The toilet paper crooks face up to two decades in prison when they are sentenced in February.

Tight-Lipped Suspect

Man arrested for suspicious behavior. During questioning by police the man was very tight-lipped and refused to answer questions, including his name.



Road Runner Photo Gallery - Booking photos - Road Runner

Woman Has Butt Enlarged - Gains 75 Pounds

Cops: Woman had butt enlarged with cement.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Not the actual woman - a substitute butt

A woman who wanted to work at a nightclub started searching for someone who could perform plastic surgery at a cheap price to give her a curvier body. She wanted a bigger ass. Police say what she found was a woman posing as a doctor who filled her buttocks with cement, mineral oil and flat-tire sealant.

Oneal Ron Morris, 30, was arrested Friday after a year on the lam and has been charged with practicing medicine without a license with serious bodily injury.

Police photos show Morris as a small-framed woman with bee-stung pouty lips, arched eyebrows, oversized hoop earrings _ and a large backside. She was released from jail on bond.

The victim, who is not being named due to medical privacy laws, paid $700 for a series of injections in May 2010. She was referred to Morris by a friend.

Morris injected some type of tube in several sites around her bottom, pumping it full of a toxic concoction that included cement. Morris reassured the woman when the pain became too intense, police said.

Morris told the woman not to worry; she would just keep injecting her and it would all itself out.

After visiting two hospitals because of severe pain and infected sores on her butt she left without telling the doctors what she had done. Her mother eventually took her to a hospital on Florida's west coast, where alarmed doctors pressed her for information. They alerted the Department of Health.

The doctors knew no licensed physician in his right mind would ever do such a thing.

The victim is still recovering from the surgery and says it's too painful to work. She also has racked up numerous medical bills.

She gained a great deal of weight, concentrated in her butt. It was not clear if she ever got the nightclub job she sought.

Super Stupid Pilot Locks Self In John And Creates False Hijacking Scare

Nov. 19, 2011

Not the actual pilot. A substitute dummy.

A really dumb pilot for Chautauqua Airlines, operating a flight from Asheville, S.C. into La Guardia NY for Delta Airlines, locked himself in the lavatory of the aircraft 20 minutes before the scheduled landing. Unable to free himself, he compounded his stupidity by giving a male passenger with a thick foreign accent the password necessary to gain entrance to the cockpit and the co-pilot and flight attendant, to summon them for help. The latter wisely refused to open the door to the flight deck but radioed ahead to describe the situation. Just as the co-pilot was being cleared for an emergency landing, the dumb captain fought his way out of the toilet and declared all was well, except for his brain which was in terminal lapse.

No plans have yet been announced by Chautauqua for the involuntary retirement of the brain dead pilot. Does anyone else think major airlines should operate their own aircraft?

Woman Fused to Recliner - Allegedly Rotting

Missouri woman found fused to recliner in home


November 18, 2011
Kansas City

A suburban Kansas City woman was left sitting in a vinyl recliner for so long that her skin had fused to the chair and she had to be pried out to be taken to a hospital after suffering an apparent stroke, authorities said.

It was not immediately clear which of the two women shown above was the one fused. Authorities are still investigating and announced the investigation could take several months to a year and would require the 24/7 cooperation of the alleged victim in blue.

Oops...Man Loses Stomach Due To False Cancer Diagnosis

After rounds of chemotherapy and surgery that removed 80 percent of his stomach, Graham Lord learned he never had stomach cancer.


Australia - Nov. 14, 2011

The 59-year-old is now suing Australia's Central Coast Local Health District, after he said a 2010 post-op evaluation shed light on the false diagnosis.

"I was told that the tissue taken from me during that gastrectomy was examined through the pathology department at Royal North Shore [Hospital] and the lymph nodes that were taken out showed no evidence of cancer," he told the Sunday Telegraph. A second test confirmed the results.

Lord said he has suffered from anxiety and depression as a result of the surgery and can no longer eat sitting down.

"He would be seeking an apology from the hospital in terms of an admission of liability and compensation for his injuries," Anna Walsh, Lord's lawyer, told ABC Sydney.

Walsh told the Sunday Telegraph that a pathologist at Gosford Hospital, where the initial flub occurred, already apologized to Lord.

And The Bull Walked Around Ole

Maui bull freed after giant tire stuck on his head for 20 hours

Nov 09 2011

By JENNIFER SINCO KELLEHER - Associated Press

(AP Photo/Triple L Ranch, Zachery De Ponte)

In this photo provided by the Triple L Ranch, Skywalker, a rodeo bull, is shown with a giant tire that was stuck to his head for about 20 hours in Kula, Hawaii Tuesday Nov. 8, 2011. The bull was unable to eat or drink with his head lodged in a truck tire dumped on the property. Ranch owner Paige De Ponte doesn't know how the tire ended up on Skywalkerýs head but she's hoping his plight raises awareness about using the rural Kenaio area as a dumping ground.

The 800-pound bull, named Skywalker, couldn't eat or drink after he got his head lodged in the truck tire that someone dumped at the Triple L Ranch in Maui, ranch owner Paige De Ponte said.

"He was uncomfortable and it took all day to get him out," she said Wednesday.

No one could get near the cranky bull Tuesday until Skywalker became exhausted enough for ranch worker Kawika Manoa to use a piece of wood to pry off the tire, which weighs more than 50 pounds. Skywalker didn't put up a fight and then went straight for the water trough after being released from the rubber ring, De Ponte said.

She didn't know how the tire ended up around Skywalker's neck, but she said she hopes his plight will raise awareness about using the rural Kanaio area, in the upcountry region of the island, as a dumping ground.

"My message to the public is to please remember that Kanaio is a community where generations have lived and prospered. Our open-range ranch has been here for 50 years and never have we ever seen such an event like this," she said. "I hope Skywalker's unfortunate predicament was more of a godsend at a time when we need people to recognize this beautiful place as a treasure and that small farmers such as ourselves depend on the public to respect us and the land more than ever."

The Maui News (http://bit.ly/uiIwF0) first reported Skywalker's predicament Wednesday.

The white bull seemed to be fine after the ordeal, De Ponte said, adding that no one has ever been able to stay on him for the full eight seconds during any Maui rodeo. None of the ranch's 17 other bulls has been successfully ridden either.

De Ponte's husband, Louis "Bully" De Ponte, was a champion bull-rider. He died in March.

Parents To Be Committed For Psychiatric Evaluation

Couple with 19 children conceive number 20.

Los Angeles, CA
Nov. 8, 2011

Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, in the rear in photo only, already have over- contributed to the world population explosion, which just reached 7 billion, by bearing 19 children.

The couple, who have exploited their bizarre reproductive habits for profit, just announced their 20th impending contribution to the population explosion.

Mimicking a pair of over-sexed rabbits, Michelle and Jim Bob have seen little of their children over the years because they spend most of their time coupling in the bedroom, or the garage, or the bathroom, or the kitchen, or the yard.

Public authorities have called for the involuntary separation of the couple to prevent their adding to the world's woes by continuing to add children.

When asked to comment by reporters, Jim Bob said, "Hey, man. I just like to screw. What's wrong with that?"

Black Rhinos Take Helicopter Trip Enroute To New, Secret Refuge 1500 Miles Away

Rhino Airlift Photos: Black Rhinoceros Transported To New Home By Air

Nov. 7, 2011
South Africa

To protect them from poachers who threaten their extinction, 19 critically endangered black rhinoceroses are being helicoptered out whilst under sedation, loaded onto awaiting land vehicles and transported 1500 miles across South Africa to Limpopo province and relocated in a secret area.

Suspended by their ankles, the 10 minute helicopter airlift has been determined to be the safest and least traumatic method to rescue these magnificent animals from almost certain extinction.

"I Think That I Shall Never See A Poem Lovely As A Tree"

Nov. 6, 2011
Arlington, Texas, USA

The author of this famous line, the American poet Alfred Joyce Kilmer, no doubt had never seen the tree depicted in this photo. Nature is capable of producing some grotesque life forms.

Whilst there are many beautiful trees, just as there are many beautiful poems, there is some lousy poetry in the world and a fair share of hideous trees.

Kilmer, 1886-1918, was killed in the First World War at the Second Battle of the Marne at the age of 31. He can perhaps be indulged because he didn't have the opportunity to see that many trees.

Jonah (Joanna?) And The Whale

Surfer

Halloween, 2011
California Coast

A bikini clad surfer and her friends in a kayak narrowly escaped becoming lunch when two huge, hungry, humpback whales suddenly surfaced, jaws wide open feeding. Another kayaker was able to video record the frightful event.

Jonah (Joanne) And The Whale?

Surfer

Halloween, 2011
Santa Cruz, CA

A bikini clad surfer and a kayak narrowly escaped becoming lunch for one of two, huge, humpback whales that suddenly surfaced with jaws wide open, feeding. Another kayaker captured the event on her video camera.

Murmuration: Chance Encounter Captures Stunning Phenomenon Of Starlings (VIDEO/PHOTOS)

Starling flock creates moving art in the sky

Murmuration: Chance Encounter Captures Stunning Phenomenon Of Starlings (VIDEO/PHOTOS)

A murmuration is a ritual act of a flock of birds (starlings) in preparation for roosting for the night. The birds swirl in synchronized motion for hours prior to nesting for the night, as a survival technique. No bird wants to be the first to land and all strive to be at the center of the flock and thus less susceptible to predators. Their synchronized flight creates waves of undulating birds that is natural art in motion.

This scene was captured on a chance encounter in Scotland, on Nov. 2, 2011 and was videotaped by two women in a row boat.

Rebel Water Hydrant Attacks Car

A water hydrant rebelled and showed its power by lofting a vehicle into the air.

Hang 'Em High - Maybe Not - Down With Realism

Hanging-man Halloween display draws complaints

Oct 31 2011

DUBLIN, Ohio — An Ohio homeowner has moved a Halloween decoration of a hanging man because police said some busybodies found it too realistic and spooky. These were adults who were afraid of Halloween decoration.

Officers in the Columbus suburb of Dublin said they received five complaints about the 6-foot figure hanging in a tree close to a road. Police told WSYX-TV ( http://bit.ly/vGZmY3) that people found the display disturbing and feared it could cause a traffic accident.

No one could remember any instance of a traffic accident by a simulated man hanging on Holloween, however.

The homeowner, who asked not to be identified, tells the station that Halloween should be creepy and that his decoration was "all in good fun."

But he moved it to a tree closer to his house and away from the street. Where it used to hang, he has placed a sign that says: "less realistic decoration."

The cops were completely out of line in harassing this man and violating his First Amendment rights because some of his neighbors objected. What if he had put up a display of JESUS hanging on a cross?

___

Man, Literally 'Falls' Into Police Custody

Hidden suspect falls through ceiling, cops waiting below

Oct 31 2011

PORTLAND, Ore. — Police officers in Oregon say a domestic disturbance suspect more or less fell into their hands _ through the ceiling.

Portland police were called Monday to a home to deal with an intoxicated man reported as threatening relatives. Lt. Robert King says they found him barricaded in the attic and determined he wasn't a threat, so they began to leave with the intention of following up later.

They say that's when they heard a crash and turned to find the man had fallen through the ceiling and onto the living room floor.

Twenty-one-year-old Aaron Deon Kinsey was not injured in the fall. But he was booked on domestic violence charges, fourth-degree assault and harassment.

Another Exotic Pet Released By Its Owner - In The Nick Of Time

A 16-foot python found in the Everglades had eaten a 76 pound deer

Oct 28 2011

EVERGLADES NATIONAL PARK, Fla. — Officials in the Florida Everglades have captured and killed a 16-foot-long Burmese python that had just eaten an adult deer.

Scott Hardin, exotic species coordinator for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission, says workers found the snake on Thursday. The reptile was one of the largest ever found in South Florida.

Hardin says the python had recently consumed a 76-pound female deer that had died. He says it was an important capture to help stop the spread of pythons further north.

Impregnable Woman

Stuttgart, Germany

A German man was unable to impregnate his wife, shown on the right, because he was infertile. He hired his neighbor, who resembled him, for several thousand Euros, to have sex with his wife, in spite of heated protests from his neighbor's own wife.

After 72 nights of sexual intercourse with his neighbor's wife over a period of months, the husband demanded that his neighbor be tested also. He too, was found to be sterile, which forced his own wife to admit that their two children had not been fathered by him.

When the original 'wannabe' dad demanded the return of his money, his neighbor refused, saying he had done what he was hired to do, have sex with his neighbor's wife, but he had not guaranteed she would become pregnant.

The wife, smiling through it all, and making note of her own, significant (ass)ets, said it was not her fault and that she would be willing to continue the arrangement with the neighbor or another man or men in an effort to give her husband the child he wants.

Performance Art By Brooklyn Artist: Giving Birth Publicly To Her First Child In An Art Gallery

Brooklyn-based performance artist Marni Kotak, gave birth to her first child in front of a public audience at the Microscope Gallery in the Bushwick section of Brooklyn, New York, which was converted into a birthing room on Monday, Oct. 17, 2011. The birth was assisted by a midwife. Mother and child were reportedly in good condition, post partem.

Kotak is shown here advertising the upcoming performance at the gallery.

Seventeen spectators attended the free performance. No one fainted and there were no rain checks in case the fetus was uncooperative.

Kotak video recorded the birth to show to her son when he is older. Some psychologists think there is a chance her son may not want to see his mom in the nude during a blood bath that was his birth.

How To Speak Republican (aka Repugnican)

Talking to a Republican can be frustrating. Often, it seems as if they are speaking a different language -- and in many cases, they are! For this reason, in the hopes of facilitating cross-party dialogue and mutual understanding, the following is a compilation of the first comprehensive Republican-to-English dictionary, featuring words commonly used by Republicans, and their English translations, alphabetized for your convenience:

For some typical Republicans, see photos

America (United States of): A country located in the N. Western Hemisphere that is #1 in everything good.
Bible: A sacred text that provides incontestable answers when thumped.
Birth Certificate: An official birth record required of all US Presidents, regardless of race, since 2008.
Capitalism: A system of economic organization that has never been tried.
Christmas: A holiday commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ, now only celebrated to see who can score the most expensive gifts.
Compromise: (uncommon) A form of political suicide.
Coast (East): A very bad coast of the continental United States.
Coast (West): Another very bad coast inhabited by a lot of Democrats.
Communism: The incorrect belief espoused by Jesus Christ (see above.)
Condescending: Accurately informed.
Constitution (U.S.): The hallowed founding document of the United States, the text of which must be interpreted strictly and amended immediately if not liked.
Corporations: Special persons who are ineligible for execution and can be re-organized when out of money.
Deficits: 1) Fiscal shortfalls incurred by Democrats that threaten to bankrupt the country. 2) Fiscal shortfalls incurred by Republicans that don't really matter.
Democrat: A political party.
Election: A method of selecting representatives of the people, no longer in use.
Elitist: Very Well Qualified.
Endangered Species: Animals that have it coming.
Evolution: A theory of human origins that is way out of line, ignores Jesus Christ and should not be taught in public schools.
Extremist (Liberal): One who espouses political beliefs that are held only by a large majority of Americans.
Fact: Information that has been posted to a RedState comment board.
Floozy: Republican wife or girlfriend
Forest (National): Trees that have it coming.
Gut: Region of the body from which important decisions should be made.
Homosexuality: A membership-only lifestyle organization that perpetuates itself through youth recruitment and gutter morality.
Hitler: A man to whom it would be inappropriate to compare President Obama despite the many similarities between them.
Jesus: Charismatic religious leader and son of God; born in Bethlehem in the year 0; beliefs include love, charity, enhanced interrogation techniques, privatized healthcare, elimination of the estate tax, and the right to carry concealed semiautomatic weapons in elementary schools and churches.
League (Ivy): an association of eight Eastern universities and colleges, an education from which automatically qualifies an individual for important political office.
Liberal: A person who should be rounded up and shot.
Marxism: A political and economic philosophy developed by Karl Marx and perpetuated by New York Times columnist Paul Krugman.
Media (Mainstream): Where you won't hear anything important.
Medicare: A fraudulent, socialistic boondoggle that is sacrosanct.
Mexicans: Brown people who have it coming.
Mountaintops: Ancient rock formations that have it coming.
Muslims: Other brown people who have it coming.
News: News from Fox News
Obamacare: A Federally-mandated program to address the national oversupply of grandparents through euthanasia.
Organic: Something eaten by lesbians.
Party (Tea): A grass-roots movement of patriotic Americans fighting for the principle of "No Taxation With or Without Representation."
Poll: A survey used to determine, within a margin of error, what percentage of Americans are right. Frequently flawed.
Poverty: The condition of having inadequate financial or material resources due to not trying hard enough.
Propaganda: The politically motivated dissemination of biased information, opinion, or data through its publication in the New York Times.
Punishment (Capital): The legally authorized killing by the State of someone who is thought to be guilty by 12 uninformed people who are not given all the facts.
Racism: A form of discrimination that typically happens in reverse to white people.
Regulation: Rules issued by a government agency for no reason.
Ronald Reagan: A fictional character based loosely on Moses.
Scientist: A person who employs a rigorous scientific system of observation, experiment, measurement, and verification to perpetuate his own personal Godless left-wing agenda.
Social Security: A redistributionist Ponzi scheme that is sacrosanct.
Socialism: An economic system invented by President Franklin Roosevelt.
Taxes: Levies imposed by the government that raise more revenue if they are lower for rich people.
Torture: A method of intensely painful, brutal interrogation not classified by the government as torture.
Terrorist: A person to whom a person who threatens to destroy the U.S. economy unless his demands are met cannot be compared.
Unbiased: Giving equal weight to both sides of a mirror.
Wealthy (the): People who earned every penny they possess by hard work and the sweat of their brow with no government assistance.
Up: A direction which, depending on circumstances, can be down.
Warming (Global): A carefully measured, anomalous, anthropogenic increase in the earth's atmospheric and oceanic temperatures that isn't happening.
Welfare: A government program to distribute Cadillacs to unwed mothers.
Yes: (no translation available)
No: Used as a substitute for yes.

Trucker Loses Brawl With 25 Million Bees

Oct 24 2011
BRIAN SKOLOFF - Associated Press

SALT LAKE CITY — Truck driver Louis Holst has never been scared of bees, but he's rethinking his next long-haul load a day after being swarmed by 25 million of the stinging insects.

Holst and his wife, Tammie, picked up 460 bee hives in South Dakota and were about 36 hours into their drive Sunday night when he hit a sharp bend in a construction zone on Interstate 15 in southern Utah. The twist in the road toppled his trailer and sent the bees into a frenzy.

"First responders came and drug me and my wife through the front window," Holst said Monday. "Then we panicked."

Swarmed by bees on the highway, Holst said he ripped off his shirt and began swatting the air. His wife ran.

"We just started swinging our clothes," he said. "They stung her all up and down her neck."

Authorities closed the southbound lanes of I-15 near St. George for several hours while area beekeepers headed to the scene to try to corral the insects. The road was reopened early Monday morning, and Holst said most of the bees were either dead or gone.

"Nobody was prepared for anything like that," he said.

At least two first responders also were stung at the scene, said Utah Highway Patrol Cpl. Todd Johnson.

Holst, 48, of Gig Harbor, Wash., said he got 10 stitches to close a gash on his forehead and was stung about a dozen times. His wife, too, suffered stings, bumps and bruises.

The 25 million bees were headed from Adee Honey Farms in Bruce, S.D., to near Bakersfield, Calif., where they stay for the winter before being used for pollination come spring, company co-owner Richard Adee said.

Assault By Frozen Armadillo

Oct. 2011

Dallas police are searching for a man who allegedly used a frozen armadillo to attack a woman who had been trying to buy the critter.

Unfrozen armadillo photo

Investigators told Fox 4 News-Dallas Fort Worth that the fight started in an apartment parking lot Sept. 29 when the suspect was selling the carcass to the alleged victim, who planned to eat it.

The pair were haggling over the price when police said the man hurled the armadillo at the 57-year-old woman twice. The woman was struck in her leg and chest, and suffered bruises, police said.

So far, investigators have been unable to track down the suspect, who they said could face assault by armadillo charges.

According to the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department, Texas law prohibits the sale of live armadillos (the armadillo involved was frozen and thus presumably dead), but some Texans still savor the meat. Some developed a taste for armadillo during the Great Depression of the 1930s, when it was known as “Hoover Hog” and “poor man’s pork.”

However the 57-year-old woman wasn't born until 1954, two decades after the Great Depression so it is unlikely she acquired her taste for armadillo meat 20 years prior to her birth.

--Molly Hennessy-Fiske in Houston, who did not notice the apparent time disconnect.

The Darwin Awards, Only 10 Months Late

The Darwin Awards are out!! That was in January, 2011.

Left: Typical Darwin Award Winner

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked. A hospital spokesman where the man was taken declared his condition critical. The bullet passing through his forehead missed his brain.

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved. The inspector's was not and he was fired.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.. Understandably, he shot her. At his murder trial the only issue presented to the jury was whether or not the punishment fit the crime. A panel of Chicago jurors decided it did and acquitted him.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and given to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the boy told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly delivered. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. An Arkansas man with a perfect DNA match for everyone living in the state wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided to throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. He lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief in he head, rendering him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. Worse, the whole event was caught on videotape. The liquor store owner, another perfect DNA match for everyone in Arkansas declined to press charges and gave the man a free case of beer.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher.. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from." At trial he pled guilty to assault and robbery and to gross stupidity, the latter of which the judge threw out because New York has no law forbidding gross stupidity.

9.. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast... Frustrated, he walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER] Michigan also has no law forbidding gross stupidity.

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he found the taste of the gasoline very odd. Police arrived at the scene to find the man curled up in a foetal position next to a motor home, retching violently. The man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. He was not charged because Washington has no crime prohibiting the theft of raw sewage by mouth. Raw sewage is provided free by the city to interested parties.

In the interest of bettering mankind, share these with friends and family....unless one of these individuals is a friend or relative of yours.

*** Remember.... They walk among us, they can reproduce, and they vote!!!!! Most of them are Republicans.