Two dolts charged in Australia after python wrestling demonstration
Sep 09 2010
MELBOURNE, Australia — Two men were arrested after bewildered diners at a McDonald's spotted them wrestling a 5-foot python named Boris in the restaurant parking lot, police said Thursday.
Victoria state police say the men stole the 8-year-old black-headed python and a lizard from a pet shop on Wednesday. They then brought the snake to the McDonald's parking lot, where they began wrestling with it in front of puzzled customers, police said. No one had any idea why they were doing this.
The men, aged 22 and 24, were arrested and charged with burglary and theft. Police didn't release their names or their IQ's which clearly were sub-moronic.
"In all honesty, it's just a case of dumb and dumber," Detective Sgt. Andrew Beams told Australian Broadcasting Corp. "Anyone who gets out there with a one-and-a-half meter python in a McDonald's car park _ they're pretty dumb." The men did not even offer the python a Big Mac or fries, according to a police spokeswoman who declined to provide any further information about the incident or her name, on the grounds her name was nobody's business. Frustrated reporters shot her the bird, which she returned.
The snake also was returned to a relieved Jodie Graham, owner of the Totally Reptiles pet shop, who immediately began hugging and kissing the bewildered snake. First wrestling, then kissing. The lizard is still missing.
"He (Boris) was a bit cold and stressed so I have him in the tank warming up," she said. "I am just glad to get him back." Boris declined any further comment until he had eaten a pair of live mice.
Black-headed pythons are native to northern Australia. They are not venomous, and aren't likely to bite unless they're hunting prey or being forced to wrestle in a public parking lot.